A/n: I know I have another story that I should be working on, but this one just came to me and I had to get it all down as soon as possible. Enjoy the story and please review, my other oneshot never got any. Just so you know Breaking Dawn never happened in this story, so there is no Reneesme and Jacob never imprinted.
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, all are property of Stephenie Meyer. The song and title of the story belong to Barcelona. I really recommend hearing the song, it's great.
It's About Time :
One more day down these stairs
His room is cold now and it hurts like hell
He holds tight, he stares
It's almost over and it's running through his head
They don't know me, they don't know more than I show
She's walking up to him so slowly
It's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
This one is different cause she's lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them more one day
One more smile, one more bed
Her eyes are dark now and they hurt like hell
She's so still, she's dead
She knows it's over, she holds her head and says,
They can't love me, they can't love what I don't show
He's walking up to her so slowly
It's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
This one is different cause he's lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them more
There've been too many times when I've drowned you with these perfect lines
And you've heard me say that I can cure you
This morning I woke up with this overwhelming fear of love
And I'm not sure if I can resurrect you
I'm walking up to you so slowly
It's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
I swear it's different cause I'm lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them more one day
-Barcelona
It is the middle of the night when he wakes up. The cold seeps into his bones. It's been a while since he felt it, not since his body temperature reached 108°. He attempts to sleep again, but it escapes him. He rolls on his bed several times only to remind himself how uncomfortable he is in his too-small bed. A sigh of frustration escapes his lips as he drags himself off the bed. He walks out of the house and sits on the steps of the porch. He stares out into the forest that faces his home.
Things got so complicated, not only for him but for everyone. They each had their own screwed up little lives. Quil fell 'in love' with a two year old. Paul's lack of anger management causes him to burst at any small comment. Embry had no idea who his father was, and this change in him has caused him to look at himself and his mother in a different way. Seth lost his father and formed a friendship with the leech, the enemy. Sam broke the heart of his high school sweetheart to be with her cousin. And Leah…Leah was still madly in love with Sam.
In the beginning he had been one of the guys that kept telling her to get over it. Sam wasn't hers and he would never be again. In the beginning she hated him, hated him as much as she wished she hated Sam. All her anger and rage could never be directed at Sam completely for him leaving her. She loathed his commands at her, his attempts to defend her, his pitying looks. She held in her hatred for him only to have it overflow onto everyone else. And for that everyone in the pack hated her.
But now, Jacob had his own screwed up love story. Now Jacob had been left behind too, broken beyond repair and filled with a rage he had never felt. And Leah savored it. She wasn't the only one in pain anymore. When she sees him his own words are shot back at him. Get over it. Bella isn't yours and she never was. He can see the sadistic glee in her eye, the mocking smirk. He can see there's a madness in her, and wonders if Sam does too.
And just like he remembers Leah's fury, he remembers her at Sam and Emily's wedding. The look in her eyes as she walks down the aisle as the bridesmaid. She held her head high, staring straight ahead, but her eyes how they betrayed her. He heard the whispers at her entrance. 'She looks beautiful, but what a shame, this isn't her wedding.' 'We thought she would have been the first married.' 'This must be so hard for her.' Jacob knew she heard them, too. He knew by the way she stood straighter, clenched her jaw into a bigger smile, and nearly crushed the bouquet she held.
All the comments were correct. She did look beautiful, she would have been the first married, and it was hard for her, so hard. He remembers when she went to congratulate the newlywed couple. She gave Emily a hug, her large smile in place. She gave Sam her hand to shake; she couldn't look him in the eye. Emily nearly cried with joy and Sam, well Sam couldn't keep his eyes off Emily. Leah watched the first dance between the happy couple, gave her toast, and took her pictures without letting herself breakdown.
But the first chance she got, she shot out the door. He followed her and when he saw her, he thought it was the most tragic sight. She stood in the middle of the rain, her shoulders shaking, and her hand to her face. Her knees gave and he watched her fall to the ground. Her dress was muddy, and her hair had fallen out of its twist. He went to her and picked her up; she didn't flinch, she didn't pull away, she was limp. He remembered carrying her home, feeling the whole way there how her sobs racked her body.
The door was unlocked. He took Leah upstairs and opened the door to her small room. He sat her on her desk chair, not wanting to get her bed wet. And now that they were out of the rain in the quiet house, Jacob could hear her sobs. They came from deep within her, from where she will forever remain broken. He found her some dry pajamas and handed them to her; helping her up from the chair and guiding her to the bathroom. There he waited for her to come out.
Once she came out wearing the dry clothes and her long hair down, he took her back to her room. She remained silent the entire time, watching him as he turned down the bed for her to lie in. She stood up from the chair and stood in front of him. This was when she noticed how small she really was compared to the rest of the pack. Leah was tall for a woman, but compared to the rest of the pack she was small. The words that came from her next surprised him. 'Make me forget, Jacob.'
With that she leaned on her tip-toes and placed her warm lips on his. He tasted the salt on her lips from the tears. He felt the tip of her tongue press against his lips, begging for entrance. Her fingers came to rest on his neck and his jaw. And he gave her entrance, he let her forget, at least for the night. When it was over he lay next to her motionless body. She didn't say anything, just turned on her side away from him. Later that night he sneaks out before Sue and Seth get home. Leah has fallen asleep by then. Jacob hasn't talked to her since.
No one has noticed anything different between them. Jacob and Leah don't think about it. Jacob won't be responsible for the pack's knowledge of Leah's moment of weakness. He doesn't want anyone to see her in such a state. Leah doesn't want the pack, mainly Sam, to see how much she still cares for him. So they pretend it didn't happen, they avoid being alone. This is the first time Jacob remembers.
A noise from the side of the house brings him out of his trance. He turns to see who it is and finds Leah standing there. She's wearing shorts and a tank top even though it's freezing. She walks towards him and sits next to him on the steps. Her hands keep on fidgeting and a sigh leaves her lips. And he remembers how her breath felt on his neck. Finally she speaks, "Are you going to the wedding?"
Today Bella and the leech are getting married. Today will be her last day as a human. Today will end any possibility Jacob had of saving her. And he can't bring himself to be there. He can't bear to watch the love of his life marry someone else. Edward had said it would mean so much to her to have her best friend there. Jacob had refused flat out. He had told her he wouldn't watch her die, and he was going to keep his word.
"No," Jacob answers flatly. Leah nods her head understandingly. She kicks at a small rock. They were silent for a long time. She begins to talk again. She thanks him for what he did for her at Sam and Emily's wedding, for not telling anyone, for protecting her secret. Jacob tells her he can't accept her gratitude, he took advantage of the situation. He used her to forget as well.
"Jacob, you don't understand. It is hell to know you mean nothing to the person you once meant everything to. To know that those who are supposed to be like family hate you. To know that your family is ashamed of you. I know what they said at the wedding. I know they were expecting me to jump Emily and rip her apart the whole time. I know they see me as Sam's bitter, psychotic, pathetic ex-girlfriend. But I showed them, I was the perfect cousin, the perfect bridesmaid. I did all that, held it all in no matter how much I wanted to lash out, but they didn't know how I suffered. They didn't see my pain because they didn't want to see it. They don't pay attention to it because it taints the 'pure love' Sam and Emily have. But that 'pure love' was tainted from the beginning, tainted by my tears and my shattered dreams. No one cares, though, no cares that I had to be sacrificed for that love to exist." Jacob watched her rant, pouring all the pain and rage inside of her into her tirade.
"And you want to know something, Jake? You gave me some hope. You showed me how truly broken I was and I don't want to stay that way. I want them to see that I can move on, that I can give up Sam. And I need you Jake. Being with you is the closest thing to feeling alive I have. I know you don't love me, that you're broken too, I know that. But we can fix ourselves and each other. We can leave and start our own lives, give up this burden we've been cursed with. It'll take work, it'll take time, but it will be real and true. No imprinting, no magic, no fate. That is what screwed us over in the first place. But we'll be deciding ourselves, belonging only to ourselves and giving ourselves to each other only by choice. We'll live our own lives," Leah's speech was filled with her passion. Jake stared at her. He could see the determination and hope in her eye, the possibilities for the future. He could see that he could love her.
"You won't leave me?" Leah's eyes brightened at the question. The smile was small, barely there, but Jacob could see a glimpse of the old Leah. The beautiful Leah that Jacob remembers seeing in Sam's memory, but only better. This Leah was his; this Leah had tragedy in her eyes, but also hopes. This Leah knew pain and rage, and she could take his crap just like he could take hers. She was strong and he could lean on her and she could lean on him. Like she said, she would be real and true, not something fate picked out for him, but something he picked out for himself. He would work to be with her. He took her hand in his and pulls her face to his. Their lips meet and there's something that bursts in his chest. This is what he needs, this is what he wants.