Author's Note: I am going through SMacked withdrawal right now. I haven't watched the show in a long time because a lot of the plot lines have just been damn dumb ( To be honest, though, I was biased against this season as soon Stella slept with Adam, of all people!) and I've been watching old episodes on TNT to compensate.
My muse wants more than reruns so here's another installment of my Passion/Together/Cohabitation Series. I'm going to have to come up with a better name for it. As always, you guys don't have to read the other one shots but some stuff will make more sense if you did.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
Dr. Peyton Driscoll pinned on her visitor's badge and looked around the lab. It hadn't changed much. The paint had been refreshed and the windows weren't as shiny but other than that, it was the New York City Crime Lab, home of bittersweet memories and Mac Taylor.
She had known that sending the Letter was the lowest thing to do. She had regretted it immediately but at the time, it seemed to be the right thing to do. They weren't working. Everything had gone stagnant and strained and Peyton hadn't been blind to the looks that everyone had been giving her. She had felt like a placeholder, an interloper, the substitute for the woman that really needed to be with Mac.
Still, she missed him and hadn't really moved on from him. Peyton knew that it was pathetic and that he would never want anything to do with her personally again. Mac was that Guy, the One Who Got Away. She had been wanting to call him or email him for ages but she always managed to talk herself out of it. Paying for a first class ticket online forced her to quit being a coward and come to New York. She didn't know what to expect but doing something was better than doing nothing.
Walking towards his office, she could hear conversations stop and downright hostile gazes on her. Messer and Monroe looked at her like she was a streetwalker and she wondered why. They had been nice to her before…
Because I hurt their friend…their family member. I should count myself fortunate that I'm not down on one of Sid's gurneys.
The sound of light laughter led her to his doorway faster.
"What exactly did you and Mona talk about? She can't look me in the eye anymore without giggling…like you're doing now. Stell, what did you say?"
"Nothing."
"Something. Tell me!"
The knife twisted in Peyton's chest as he grabbed Stella Bonasera around the waist from behind and started nuzzling at her neck between her laughs. Of course. It had always been Stella. The woman had always been a shadow over their relationship and with good reason. She was Mac's best friend, his second in command, his conscience, the one who made him stick his head out the microscope every once in a while…Peyton got his body and Stella got everything else. The more that Peyton tried to get, the more distance that had been put between them.
Him coming to London with her had been a victory and she had been pleased to hear about Stella's hurt and disappointment. It had been a taste of what Peyton felt every time she saw them laughing or she was left out of the conversation. It had been poetic justice. At least until she had made the mistake of telling Mac about it. It had been the death blow, a death blow that she couldn't help but resent the Greek woman and herself for it.
"You molesting my neck isn't going to make me break my vow of silence. Girl talk is girl talk!"
"It's not molestation if you enjoy it and I'll find out anyway. You know you can't lie to me worth a damn." Mac replied with his shit eating smirk.
The sight of it still made Peyton weak in the knees.
"I know that, which is why I'm not lying. I'm just pleading the 5th. Now, off! We're supposed to act professional in the lab!" Stella chided while pulling on her coat.
"You're upright and you have all of your clothes on. That's as professional as I can get."
"Now, there's a lie if I've ever heard one."
"Not when it comes to you."
Wanting this over with (and to break through their Moment), Peyton knocked firmly on the door.
//////////////
"I can't say that I'm surprised to see you two together."
"I can say that I'm surprised to see you. Your letter said in no uncertain terms that we'd be better off not contacting each other."
"Mac, I want to apologize for my actions. Sending you a letter was cowardly and the wrong thing to do."
He wholeheartedly agreed with her.
"As was letting you go."
Alarm bells went out in his head and Mac noticed how she was looking at him. Stella looked at him like that. He didn't want Peyton to look at him like that, anymore.
"I still love you, Mac. I always will and I know that you don't love me anymore. You probably never did. It…it's always been Stella, hasn't it?"
Unable to lie, Mac nodded affirmatively. The sight of the heartbreak and resignation in Peyton's gaze provided him with no satisfaction. Even in his initial anger of their break up, he had no ill will towards her. He wanted her to have a long and happy life, just far away from him. As her tears fell, he handed her some Kleenex and squeezed her trembling hand comfortingly.
"I'm sorry, Peyton."
"Don't be. This is my doing. I…I'm happy that you're happy Mac. If anyone deserves it, it's you. Give my best to Stella, will you?"
Mac nodded and watched as she left, this time for good. He could feel an old emotional wound close and he was hit by the reason she came to New York.
She wasn't there to try to get him back but for closure.
He understood and respected that.
//////////////
She felt the bed move as he climbed in and she smiled slightly as he wrapped his arms around her.
"You okay?"
"Yeah."
Stella brought a hand to his back and stroked soothingly.
Achieving closure was always exhausting.
