Before I Disappear

Spoilers if you have not seen the finale... And if you have... Oi, am I right?

I wasn't even a fan of Jashi, and yet the finale had me so sad that now here I am at one in the morning writing a fanfic about them cuz I can't sleep and need to get my feelings out.

I did love Ashi, she was this tiny little bundle of badass who could take down an entire army by herself and I LOVE IT! Now I would be lying if I said I didn't see this ending coming, but (sigh) I was hoping I was wrong. I feel she had so much more potential than this too, she should have gotten more than what she got.

It's a short little thing, maybe if I get it out I can finally get some rest.

-Enjoy-

Ashi wasn't stupid, she knew exactly what was going to happen. She knew it before she and Jack had even entered the time portal. She knew what her fate would be if Jack defeated Aku in the past. She would completely cease to be, and she was terrified. Reality was going to erase her from this world, she would blink away and become nothing. Just the thought of what something like that implied, it sent horrified chills running down her spine. It was almost worse than dying because she wouldn't die, she would just flicker out of existence. There would be no world with Aku, no future where he ruled, there would be no Daughters of Aku. She would never even be born.

But none of that mattered. Because he was going home.

She remembered when he talked about his family, his longing to be home with them again. And now he was. He was going to be home again, in the past with the people he loved so much. More importantly, he would finally be rid of the burden that had been weighing him down for his entire life. He was going to see a new future. A future where there was peace, where everyone felt safe and happy. The dawn of a brand new world began, a better world, a happier world. Her heart felt heavy in her chest when she realised that she would never have the opportunity to see it. She would never live in a world where everyone is happy and loved, the only world she would ever know was Aku's. But Jack would know both of those worlds. Jack would know a world of peace, all he had to do was defeat the monster in front of him.

The moment she collapsed once the tower exploded, she was certain that this was it. That world was gone. That she would vanish into nothing right there in front of Jack. Ashi hoped that her existence wouldn't be gone completely, that time would be kind enough to not erase her memory from his head. That is what she was most scared of, him forgetting her once she was gone. She took a deep breath, so certain that she would disappear. But then she didn't. The moment both baffled her and filled her with dread. If she still existed, did that mean that the terrible future still existed as well? Had they not prevented the terrifying future they had tried so desperately to escape from? But that shouldn't have been possible. Jack defeated Aku, she had seen it with her own eyes. That future, that world, was gone. But she hadn't disappeared. Why?

She tried to smile for him the rest of the day, as he chattered on about his home and his family. It warmed her heart to see so much joy on the young man's face, but she couldn't shake the unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. Any second now she might disappear. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice. He didn't seem to catch on that she no longer belonged to the world, that her reality was dead and she should be as well. And if he did notice, he never said a thing. Watching him smile, the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face, was enough to ease the unsettled feeling inside of her. Seeing him so happy, almost completely carefree, confirmed what she had been thinking. It was worth it. She gave him the chance to be this happy, and she never wanted anything or anyone to take that happiness away from him. She knew that she would disappear. But she didn't want him to worry about when it would happen.

Ashi vowed that for the remainder of her existence, however much time that may be, she would live only to see the smile on his face.

In the days that followed, she was happy that she got to see him so happy. The moment she witnessed him reunite with his parents was the most humbling thing that she had ever witnessed. He had been so nervous to see them as they approached the palace, but once he saw them again he immediately broke down, enveloping them in a tight hug. The way Jack's family hugged him after he had been gone for so long, brought on a feeling that Ashi had never experienced before. Ashi had never witnessed a family being so loving and compassionate towards one another. And Ashi so desperately wanted to be a part of that. But she knew that she might never fully experience what a family felt like. After a long while, Jack had reluctantly let go of his parents before turning to Ashi. He smiled and took her hand, he introduced her as the woman who helped him to defeat Aku, the woman who brought him home. The woman that he loved dearly, with all his heart. The woman he fully intended to marry.

Ashi hoped that time would be kind to her.

She wanted to at least say her vows before she disappeared from existence. She knew any moment could be her last. So she savoured every touch, every kiss, every moment she spent with him. She never wanted to waste any time. For the remainder of her existence, she would give him all her love, he deserved that much. She would love him completely unconditionally for the remainder of her short existence. She made sure every kiss meant something, that every 'I love you' was spoken confidently and without hesitation. Sometimes she could feel it coming, she would be lying in bed and suddenly feel herself coming undone. But then it would pass and Jack would give her a worried look, wrap his arms around her, and ask if she was alright. Ashi would nod her head and give him a kiss, just to reassure him. She didn't know how he would react if he found out that her time in this world was limited. It was best that he was oblivious, she didn't want all the happiness he had gained since returning home to suddenly go away because of her. The timeline was still correcting itself, she hoped that it wouldn't catch up to her anytime soon. But she knew that it was merely wishful thinking.

Yes, Ashi hoped that time would be kind.

But time is a cruel and unforgiving mistress.

She had never seen more love on his face than she had in that moment. The smile that hadn't left his face since the moment he saw her walking down the aisle. She felt a wave of love surrounding her, drowning her in it's depths. Ashi could feel her heart beating uncontrollably as she locked eyes with the man she loved so deeply. She continued down the aisle, smiling with contentment. But all that happiness, everything that made her feel safe and loved, was violently ripped away from her in an instant. She could feel it. She could feel herself slowly blinking out of existence. Her vision slowly began to blur and her head spun like a top. She felt so dizzy, and gravity was slowly pulling her down.

'Not yet.' The woman silently pleaded. 'No. Just wait a few more hours. Please.'

But time could not be reasoned with.

She watched helplessly as the smile vanished from Jack's face, turning into a horrifying mixture of concern and fear. The world seemed to move in slow motion as she fell to the ground. She couldn't make sense of her surroundings. All she could see was Jack, running to her, yelling her name. She felt his arms wrap around her. She had felt this sensation so many times, she wanted to feel it one final time. He looked down at her one final time, every ounce of love he had ever felt for her was evident in his eyes.

She didn't want this to be the end. Not on today of all days. She loved him more than anything. She had sworn the rest of her existence to him, and she wanted him to declare his undying love for her as well. No, she didn't want to leave him like this. But if this was the last thing she felt, his arms wrapped around her, looking down at her with loving eyes, she could be happy. She placed a hand to his cheek, his skin was so soft and familiar.

He asked her what was wrong, and suddenly Ashi began to doubt her decision not to tell him. Would he have loved her differently? Would he have looked for a way to save her? Did she make the right choice? Yes, she decided in her final seconds. She never wanted to erase all of that joy from him. All she ever wanted was for Jack to be happy in this new world. She knew they wouldn't seize it together, but she hoped that she would have more time.

But time was something she could never have.

Because Aku was gone.

And without Aku, she never would have existed.

-Fin-

I found it a little weird that she didn't immediately blink out of existence once Aku was defeated, I thought that Jack would turn around and realise she was gone. But then I thought, maybe the timeline takes some time to adjust itself? I mean, there was obviously a time jump between Aku's defeat and the wedding, so Ashi lingered for a while after the final showdown. But I also think she knew that this would happen? I mean, she knows that Aku created her and without him she doesn't exist. So yeah, this became a two am fic.

I'm tired now. Goodnight.