That feeling. That feeling where your heart stops. That feeling where you feel like everything is crashing down, right in front of your eyes.
You can do nothing to stop it if it happens, but you can try everything to stop it before it does.
And there is no way in hell that you're going to let it happen. You can't, you just can't. It's as simple as that because if it does then everything is over.
Everything you care about right now, and your whole future it's over, before it ever got started.
In just 1 second. That's the blink of an eye. The snap of a finger. The turn of a channel. It could be over for someone, all over. And you guess you never really thought of it like that before. Those simple things you always do that take just a second can also change someone's whole world. In a good or a bad way.
In this case it's a bad way, a very bad way.
And it wouldn't just take someone's life, but two people.
Not just her's but his to because she is his whole world, and if she's gone it's not over for just her, but for him to.
And he's never considered this before until now, right now, in this very second, in this very moment.
In this second he sees her standing face to face about 15 feet from the gunman who has the gun pointed towards her. She's standing tall and confident because that's who she is; she protects the people and the things she loves before she protects herself.
Which in his opinion is a stupid move, a very stupid move, and you could say he's being selfish. But the girl he's in love with is standing face to face with the person who could possibly kill her, so in his opinion no, there is no way in hell he's being selfish.
"I swear to god I'll shoot! Now give me the damn key!" The gunman interrupts your thoughts and you slowly move closer to them.
"Fine, go ahead." Damn you, You think to yourself as you hear her practically proclaim her death sentence. "But I will not, do you hear me? I will not give you this key." She finished firmly, no doubt in her voice. But you know her, and you know that voice and you know she's scared to death; she's just trying not to show it.
"I'm warning you,"
"You already did, and I already said I will not give you the key to that room, because you are not going to go in there and kill a patient that has done nothing at all to deserve it."
And as you stand there with maybe 15 other people watching the scene unfold, you see your worst fear happening.
The gunman is pulling back the trigger and before you could think you jump in action as everyone else ducks.
"Lexie get down!" You scream as you tackle her to the ground. You try as hard as you can to not put your weight on her, and hurt her more, but you need to make sure that bullet does not touch her.
As she falls to the ground you quickly look up to make sure the gunman isn't coming closer. And to your surprise (and happiness) he is running, in the opposite direction. And you know he's not going to leave for good but at least he's gone for the moment.
"Lex," You whisper as you observe her making sure she is okay.
"I'm fine Mark." She answers you knowing what you were thinking.
"Are you sure?"
"I promise," She tried to smile because she knows that's make you feel better if you see her smile. But in this moment you're to freaked out and scared because just a few seconds ago you almost lost everything.
Before you do anything else you stand up and softly grab her hand as you both are now standing. You both look around and observe the people still trying to console eachother.
"Come on." You whisper leading her towards an on call room. You know you may not get more than 5 minutes to talk to her right now, but for right now, 5 minutes will do. Because you need to savor her voice for as long as you can because you know until this man is gone then you both are no completely safe.
"Mark, we need to help these people." She started to protest but you cut her off, "And we will but I need to make sure you're okay." You explain as you lead her into the room closing to door after you've both entered.
There is silence as you both sit on the bed, but you are facing eachother. Observing each other's feelings.
"Lexie," You sigh as you break the silence, caressing her cheek. "You scared me so much."
"I didn't mean to. I just didn't want anyone else to get hurt." She guiltily said.
That makes you smile, at her kindness, at the way she cares. "I know you didn't. But you almost got hurt."
"That doesn't matter as long as no one else did."
"It does matter," You start, your eyes boring into hers, "It matters to everyone. But especially me. You almost got yourself killed and if you died Lexie," You stop for a second controlling your emotions because you can't bare that thought, "If you died. I think I would have too." You reveal to her wide eyes.
"Oh Mark," She pulls you in for a hug and you can't help but realize how long it's been since you had her in your arms, and you're just now realizing that you miss her so much more than you knew. "I didn't die. I didn't." She reassures you softly stroking your hair as she whispers in your ear. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."
"You have to promise me that you won't do anything like that again." You pull back and lean your forehead on hers lookin straight into her eyes.
"I swear." She confirms much to your relief. And with that you slowly lean in (making sure she's okay with this) and your lips touch hers.
You've missed her. More than you could ever understand. You miss the taste of her lips. You miss the softness of them. You miss everything. And now that you've got her back for this second, you never want to let her go again.
You slowly pull away, and you see that spark in her eyes. The spark you haven't seen since before you broke up.
And right there, in that moment, you know that this woman is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.
"We should get back," She whispers her forehead still leaning on yours.
"I know," You reply but make no movement to get up. Instead you lean in again, and your lips touch again. But this kiss is needier, more passionate. It's expressing more emotions. It's expressing hurt from the break up, but happiness that you're both feeling this once again.
After what you wish you could be an eternity, but was really only about 30 seconds, she pulls away, "We really need to go now." She smiles as she stands up pulling you up with her as you make your movement towards the door.
And as she reaches for the door knob, she quickly stops and turns around pulling you into a hug. She wrapped her arms securely around your neck as you respond by wrapping you arms around her waist, "What's this for?" You ask not that you're not enjoying it; she just caught you off guard
"For you saving my life," She replied as she pulled away and turned back towards the door, and opened it. Your both then leaving your world, and into the halls of the hectic hospital once again.
And you know nothing is set and stone. But you can now breathe a sigh of relief and you now know that there is at least hope that, that beautiful blonde will give you a second chance.
"Mark!" You hear her voice, and that makes you come to an abrupt halt as you turn around and see her running towards you, and once she reaches you she stand up in her toes and leans into your ear and whispers…
"I still love you too."
And now there is no hope about it now. You know now, even though there is still so much to be sorted out. You know without a doubt, that you'll be together, forever.