I don't own Naruto. I was just bored but this was actually kinda hard to come up with. If you like Orochimaru then I'm not sure as to why the hell you are reading this.

1. Call him a sissy.

2. Call him old.

3. Kill all his snakes.

4. Tell him that Sasuke will never love him.

5. Dress up as the Hokage and follow him around commenting repeayedly how easy it was to become Hokage.

6. At the end of each of his sentences scream "Ow!" like Micheal Jackson.

7. Continuously drop hints that giant purple bows are way out of fashion.

8. Shave his head.

9. Take pictures of him bald and post them on the internet.

10. Label said photos "Lord Voldermort returns!"

11. Tell Naruto Orochimaru raped sasuke then stole his body.

12. Poke him repeatedly saying each time "Poke"

13. Whenever he gets within a foot of you scream at the top of your lungs "YOU ARE INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE!!"

14. Tell Karin that Orochimaru killed Sasuke.

15. Follow him around all day singing "Do You Like Waffles"

16. Tell Kabuto that Orochimaru called him his dirty little secret.

17. Ask him if he has an alibi repeatedly until he says "No" then start singing(very badly) "Ugly"

18. Upon seeing him run up to him and yell happily "Oh Nana! You're alive!"

19. When he denies being your Nana scream "Oh My God! Your Micheal Jackson!"

20. Purposely bump into him in public then scream "Help! I'm being sexual harassed!"

21. Say his name over and over until he finally acknowledges you and then smile and say "Hi"

22. Replace all his clothes with leather pants and Hello Kitty T-shirts

23. Hug him... a lot.

24. Ask him when the baby's due.

25. Ask him what it feels like to be an old perverted failure.

26. Ask if it ever occurred to him to not be a freak.

27. Talk about how awesome the Third Hokage was.

28. Put a note on his back reading "Find the 20 hidden somewhere on me" and watch as he is attacked.

29. Replace all liquids in the entire Sound village with alcohol and video tape it as drunk Sound-nin reek havoc. Post it on YouTube.

30. Tell him you love him because he reminds you of the old lady who used to live across the street and collected dental floss.