Shackled and Bound

Note: Alucard and Abraham belong to Hellsing. Yea... So, I had written this last year. It's a bit emo. o_O I swear I don't know how that happen. Alucard. Emo. Lol? Wut? And the angst. Ach. I was younger a year ago. More angsty. That's it. Tell me how you like it. I cleaned it up a bit. -Nod.- I give cookies to people who are brave enough to comment. I stand flamers, too. -Holds up torch.- Rawrz.

Staring at the sky with nowhere to go. Bound to chains with wings that are spruced. No means of escape. No means of flying. Destiny broken. My fate's been a lie my whole life. Bound to chains and shackles. Never to see the light of the night and the dark of the day. Bloody stumps for wings are left. The bright eyes you once knew and saw daily are now tinged crimson. You bound me to this empty port way. I'm bound to see your truth and lies. When will I separate them though? It hurts me. It blinds me.

You cover up all of this. You're nothing, though. You never will be. You're nothing, but something that's been done and dusted.

With wings that are bloody stumps, I stare at you with my cold-hearted gaze. Is it too much to say that I clearly hate you? You demised and demeaned me into this. The Bird of Hermes you call me? Lies... LIES BUILT UPON FILTHY LIES! You are nothing but a savage human! Yet, I envy you. You kept your humanity. I lost it. When you commence your daily visit...you watch me..you study me as if I'm a lab rat. Disgust dwells within me. I have felt such a deep hatred for you over the years.

In my cell, I begin to ponder..when will you die? Why do you make me suffer as so? I never thought that a man could become a monster..until now. I thought it was man who would defeat that monster. Was I wrong? What is to become of me? The chains that I am bound to are heavy with despise. Despicable hate that I cannot hide. You merely smirk when you see me hiss and bare my fangs at you. I am nothing but a mere slave to this cell - to you. I hate you.

I will never call you Master.. No matter how many cruel beatings I take. No matter how many times the whip comes down. Yet....when you take what I need away from me....I must call you master.. I need that crimson liquid. I desire it...it is a necessity not luxury.. I will die without it... I spit out those words...that you are delighted to hear.

'Master' My voice raspy and dry from going so long without blood. I do not care if the liquid is of man or animal. I simply need it. Scars do not cover my body as yours. White Coats have so dearly noted. Yet, I always receive new wounds courtesy of you. They heal..but..they heal quicker if I obtain that red liquid. I watch you with lifeless eyes. All of this haunts me.

Every. Little. Detail. It's like a nightmare. This nightmare is far too real however....I scream lowly..my voice inaudible. 'It will never end...' I shout,only my echo to respond. Over the long while... I slowly lost hope..lost all means of escape. You were right.. You are right. I'm pathetic. They're all dead. I cannot have my dearly beloved anymore. 'Pathetic No Life King', indeed.

Day after Day. Night after Night. It's all the same in my senseless eyes. I do not care anymore. The endless experiments your White Coats commence on me are annoying not painful...annoying. As I look back I recall lashing out..killing one..only to get punished by you. You smelled of a foul odor...Alcohol, I presume? Not once have I dared to lash out again. The pain! The horrible pain you caused me! I've learned to hate this so-called 'immortality' because of you.

I have my beliefs, however. I doubt that immortality is real. One day...I will die and then you'll see how wrong you were. Oh how I despise you. I hate you so much, my Master. The cross...the crucifix..it burns...please..stop.'TAKE YOUR HOLY GEAR AND BE GONE WITH YOU!' I beg and plead. The pain of such things that are holy is truly unbearable. You wear the same white gloves when you hold the crucifix - pressing it against my cold skin. I can hear my skin sizzle as if one was on fire.

Your eyes find glee in my pain. While I find hate in your glee. You're a filthy human. I'll always remember that. Then...you proclaim that you are "on a mission from God". Is that true?Or is that another lie you spewed? I think its a crummy lie. I think I've lost all of my sanity. Did I ever have any sanity? I do not know...I doubt it...

That was the last straw. The sunlight was the final thing that made me lose it. You...you despicable drunk of a man! You and your curious white coats....I cannot think of any other words to insult you by. No words come to mind. It was true..the sunlight did burn. Each time...but..each time I was left out longer...the pain slowly resided and subdued.

When your men threw me in my empty cell..I laughed. I laughed at the corrosion..which turned into a riot of howling madness. Perhaps the rats heard me? I can hear them scuttle about..I can smell their warm blood..I do not see them though... I give up....I give in...I admit...defeat. I am nothing. I have become entirely dependant on you. You are the one who supplies me my sweet crimson liquid. You are the one who has educated me on the world around us. You are the one that gives me my necessities. You put me to the extreme, merely to test my endurance.

I have begun to believe your lies and mistaken them for the truth. All in all, both are the same to me. I look up to you. I look up at you. My eyes lifeless. Any life force I had..had been of the White Coats had said it was as if I had been brainwashed. I no longer feel the pain. The agony. The cruelty. I know now. I understand now.

Did your hatred help me? Did my hatred help you? 'The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to keep me tame', Who whispered this? Did I? Did I murmur this in my rant? Or did you? I do not recall....everything has been a blur...

Shackled and bound with nowhere to go. No hope has been left for me. I cry in bliss and agony. I howl at the mighty corrosion surrounding me. With what blood stumps of wings I have left....it is hopeless...No more flying for me. Not once will I see the outside world with my own free will. I'm nothing but a mere pet to you and this place. I'm stuck in this empty cell, hearing the rats scuttle about. How I yearn for what I clearly desire. My voice has become a hollow empty shell only to obey commands sent by you. You are my master. I now know that. To protect,obey, and serve at all costs....is this true? Even protect with my life? Is this what a dog is? Or is this a monster? To protect man....My thoughts continue on,however. They are the only thing that flows free. I have no soul. No free will. I'm merely a creature of the night....with advantages. I seek the light of the night and the dark of the day. I search for my sanctuary. Though I cannot obtain it for I am within your grasp. Shackled and bond with nowhere to go. No hopes. Only fears and lies to trust...