"You're on your own'
Brax's words cut deep, but Kyle kept a blank face just like always.
He never let it show, not all of it anyway. never let anyone see how broken he really was.
"if you want to be part of this family again, you've got to prove it to me"
But why? why should he bother? Tamara was right he didn't have a place here, he never would, he would never be accepted as a true member of his family and they would never love him like they did each other.
The only family he had was dead, it was time to accept that. it was time to accept that he had no one, that he was alone.
He watched Brax drive away, he sighed, defeated.
He wasn't surprised, he had expected it; he knew that eventually he would screw up and Brax would realise he wasn't worth the trouble just like everyone else had in Kyle's life.
Everyone but his dad.
That was the depressing reality of Kyle's relationship with his father; it wasn't love or loyalty that kept him obeying Danny's every command, it was an all-consuming, over powering need to feel loved and accepted, something he knows he never really got. when his dad died he'd felt free but also more lost and empty than ever.
Kyle sent a withering glare at the caravan before picking up his stuff, dumping it inside and leaving to find something to numb the pain and resentment he could feel building.
It was night now, Kyle stumbled down the beach away from the river boy party he had just left, a bottle of jack in his hand.
He kept walking until he could no longer hear the music and let himself fall carelessly onto the sand, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the little bag of pills, buying them was how he ended up partying with summer bays most loved group of Neanderthals.
He wanted to forget, to escape from all the hurt he had felt and caused over the last few months.
He opened the bag and poured the entire contents of it into the palm of his hand, he stared at the five or six little blue pills for a second, then; just like he had done so many times before, he put his hand to his mouth, tossed his head back and swallowed.
Several moments and a few more mouthfuls of alcohol later, he started sweating and shaking, his breathing started to get shorter and he had one last panicked thought that maybe he had gone to far this time, before he laid back on the sand and was swallowed into the darkness of yet another overdose.