Dusk Before Dawn
By Lady Callista
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series, much to my disappointment. Although if I did it's target audience might have been slightly different, as almost every story I've written over the past five years ends up with lemons in it. Any quotations used from the book are purely for reference, after all it's difficult to retell the story from another perspective without putting in the parts that are already in the book, and no copywrite infringement is intended. I also do not own any of the songs I've quoted.
Rating: T, as this is only the wedding. If there is a sequel it will certainly be M.
AN: This starts the afternoon before the wedding, continues through the end of the encounter with Jacob during the wedding, and is from Edward's perspective.
My deepest apologies to everyone who is waiting for the next part of "Saving Forever," but my muse just isn't cooperating. All she can think of are vampires, vampires, and more vampires. So I figured I'd just run with it, and write a new Buffy fanfic, something I haven't done in a long time. I was about a thousand words in before I realized that Buffy touching Angel's cold, marble skin was a problem. So I calmly went back and changed it. When Buffy antagonized over how much she'd hurt Spike by not loving him enough and choosing Angel over him, I panicked slightly, did a shot of vodka, and rewrote the paragraph. When Angel spoke in a velvet whisper and the Buffy in my head was a brunette, I took another shot, mentally screamed all of Carlin's 7 Words at my muse, and tried to start over. Less than a hundred words later, with the image of Angel biting into a pillow firmly stuck in my head, I gave up. So I'm writing the story I'm hesitant to write, not because I don't want to, but because I'm not sure how much creativity I can add to it. There are just so many Twilight fics out there. And although I know I'll cringe when I come to the line that launched a thousand stories, I have to write it, or my muse won't let me write anything else. Again, I apologize to those waiting for "Saving Forever," hopefully once I get this story out of my head I'll be able to update it again. But I've noticed I seem to have a thing for innocent girls who fall in love with dangerous, older men with dark tendencies, and I know that if I try to write Kaoru now she'll be so OOC that it will be worse than not writing at all. Ah, deeper water here I come…
Chapter 1: One Day More
22 hours, 6 min, 23 sec
In all my long years of existence, I don't think a day has ever passed more slowly. Even the months when I'd been away from Bella after I'd left her hadn't been this bad, because I had barely been aware of the passage of time. There had been nothing to look forward to then; no reason to care that the clock had only moved 2 minutes from the last time I'd looked. No matter how many times the hands of the clock had moved it hadn't mattered, because there was nothing to look forward to. Not when I couldn't be with her.
Now each minute that passed put me closer to seeing her. To being her husband. My mind stopped briefly at the joy that flooded my system upon even thinking that word. Husband. Wife. Forever. Although that wouldn't happen for 22 hours yet.
Well, 22 hours, four minutes, and five seconds.
But I'd be seeing her in just a few hours.
Alice had banned me from Bella's house for the day, telling me she needed Charlie and Bella alone for the final fitting of their clothing. She'd also said Esme would need my help with the decorations.
That had basically amounted to me and the rest of the family following Esme's every order while she herself was working off of a very large list Alice had given her. Complete with diagrams. This had not helped the day to move quickly.
And it had seemed even slower when Alice returned home from her afternoon at Bella's. Mentally translating Homer's Iliad into Italian, she'd told me how beautiful Bella looked, and that it would be worth my wait.
Then she'd decided that the arch centered on the far wall of the living room looked 'all wrong,' and had me unweave all the flowers from it while she drew up a new design for how she'd decided it should look.
I'd finally escaped to my room a few minutes ago, claiming I wanted to be alone for a little while. What I really wanted was for it to be 10pm, when Charlie would be asleep and I could climb through Bella's window as I did every night.
I'd only have a few hours with her, because at midnight my brothers were taking me hunting, but I was going to make the most of those 2 hours. For they would have to hold me until 4pm tomorrow, when I would see her walking down the aisle towards me.
I was already certain that each minute of tomorrow would pass even slower than the minutes of today.
I'd been in my room for all of five minutes, and had already picked up half a dozen books and read a few lines of them, only to toss them aside in disgust and turn away. Nothing could hold my attention.
Now the morbid part of my mind latched onto a song I hadn't heard in years, and without really thinking about it I pulled out a CD and set one particular song on repeat.
"…Inside of me there lives someone, who could have been somebody's wife,
Who could have seen their children grow, who could have had a normal life,
Who could have fiercely loved a man, and felt his kisses deep and moist…
Instead I give this kiss of death, and in this I have no choice…"
It was all too obvious in my mind why I'd chosen this song. Just as it was obvious it was a song that Alice easily became sick of hearing, because around the fourth time through she suddenly stood beside my now silent stereo.
I'd obviously heard her coming and known her intention, but she wanted to talk and would do so with or without music. Besides, I was getting a little sick of the sadness of the song myself.
"It is her choice," Alice informed me. "She's not Claudia. She's not some child you're forcing this on. She will be your wife. She loves and is loved."
"I know that." I said quietly. "She's also not dying. It's the one thing Claudia forgets. She wouldn't have been a mother, or a wife. She wouldn't have grown old with the man she loves. If she hadn't been made a vampire, she'd just be dead."
"But as I know Bella has told you, she is dying, in a way. She gets physically older than you every day. So many things could kill her, even forgetting the Volturi. You are her choice. Being a vampire is her choice."
I thought briefly of the child vampire Anne Rice had written of so tragically. I personally thought the musical had been horrible, but this one song from it had stuck with me. To forever look ten years old, and unlike the immortal children of my kind, to have your mind surpass your body. To have the maturity and experience of 50 years of living and be treated as a child. Even frozen at 17, it was a problem I had. So many options, like being a doctor as Carlisle was, were unavailable to be because of my physical age. "I know it's her choice, and I know most of Claudia's objections don't apply to her. But she's still giving up so much."
"But she's gaining forever with you, and that more than balances the scales," Alice trilled in response.
"She certainly thinks it does," I replied, knowing it was truth and at the same time unable to understand how it was true. That she was giving up everything for me was something I still couldn't understand.
"If she was the vampire and you were the human, wouldn't you want what she does? Wouldn't you want forever with her?"
"Yes, but that's different," I replied as she sat down beside me unnecessarily. We'd all been playing human for the past few days, even when we were alone. Often times when we were home we didn't bother. As I'd once told Bella, this was the one place where we never had to hide. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. Only tomorrow we would. Just as we'd had to when Alice had invited what seemed like the entire town to our home for Bella's graduation party.
"I'd give up anything for her; do anything to be with her. I just wish I were the one sacrificing everything. Or at least that we were both giving things up equally. I hate that she's the one losing everything she knows," I sighed.
I caught myself before I could respond to Alice's next thought. I did that so naturally when we were home that I had to be careful tomorrow. Pretend to be normal.
Alice shifted closer to me, resting a hand on my knee. "And you know she feels the same way. Bella's thought about this long and hard, Edward. She knows she'll never be able to see her parents again, or her friends. She can survive without them. But she can't survive without you."
"I'm well aware of that," I replied dryly, the image from Jacob's mind of how they'd found her in the woods after I left her flashing unwanted into my mind. Trying to replace it with a happier image, I tucked my tongue in my cheek and asked, "So, about Bella's wedding dress…"
She smirked at me, and I realized she'd seen this coming before I started speaking. For by the time I got out the word 'so' she was loudly thinking of something else.
"Tomare, chiisai gaki," I shook my head.
She giggled at being called a little brat, but didn't stop mentally translating as I'd asked her to. Since she knew this was a good way to keep her mind full enough that I couldn't hear anything else, she'd been shamelessly taking advantage of it over the past few weeks.. This time she was trying to translate "The Raven" into Japanese.
She'd advanced through multiple options on how to best translate 'Nevermore' when finally I had to laugh. "Okay, I promise not to pry anymore. But please stop that. Your Japanese is painful to listen to."
That made her laugh, and although I could still hear the occasional Japanese vocab swirling around in her head, she did stop trying to translate things.
"Hey, it's my newest language," She chirped at me. "I've only been at it for a few months."
"I know," I smiled at her. "Wait a few more months before making me listen to that again, please."
She nodded and sat silently for a moment, then said gently, "We're all so happy for you."
"I know," I replied, placing my hand over hers where it still rested on my knee. "You and Esme especially."
"We would have welcomed any girl you loved into our family, as you well know," Alice smiled lovingly at me. "But it's a very nice bonus that we love her too."
Without thought I pulled her, my best friend, my sister, into my arms and hugged her tightly.
"And she loves all of you," I said as she hugged me back just as tightly. "Well, maybe not Rose."
Alice's laugh rang out, and she kissed my cheek as she pulled back. "They'll get along eventually."
"I surely hope so," I replied. "So, when are you bringing her over tomorrow?"
"Early, long before you boys will be back," Alice beamed. "She's going to look like a princess." She carefully flipped Disney princesses through her mind as she spoke.
I chucked at the image of Bella in purple seashells with a green mermaid tail.
Alice stood then, going to my CD wall and pulling one out. Her mind was carefully blank as she loaded it into my stereo and found the track she wanted.
Then she twirled to face me. "I'm gonna get everything set up for tomorrow," She informed me as her finger hovered over the play button.
"You haven't done enough yet?" I teased, thinking of the flower shop and miles of ribbon and lace that were currently adorning the entire first floor of our house.
"I don't have the lights and ribbons on the trees yet, I was waiting for Jazz to help me," Alice replied. "Enjoy your last night as a single man."
She hit play and vanished from my room.
I laughed and let the song play.
"I'm getting married in the morning, ding dong the bells are gonna chime.
Pull out the stopper, let's have a whopper, but get me to the church on time."
OoOoOoOoOoOoO
16 hours, 1 min, 27 seconds
"Forever frozen at eighteen," I whispered as I held Bella in my arms, my thoughts turning back to Anne Rice's Claudia.
"Every woman's dream come true," She said with a teasing note in her voice.
"Never changing…never moving forward." My thoughts were turning morose, which was hardly how I wanted them to be the night before our wedding, but I seemed unable to stop thinking of everything she was giving up.
"What does that mean?"
I debated not troubling her with my thoughts, but we were long past keeping secrets from each other. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were…pregnant?"
"And he thought about shooting you," Bella laughed, unaware of where my thoughts were traveling as I brought this up. "Admit it, for one second, he honestly considered it."
She was right, actually, but that's not where my thoughts turned. I closed my eyes briefly as an image from Jacob's mind popped into my head. Bella in her 30's, surrounded by her children, laughing in the sunlight.
"What, Edward?" Her voice had lost all the laughter as she sensed the seriousness in my silence.
"I just wish…well, I wish that he'd been right," I whispered, knowing the reaction I would receive. At 18, there was no way she was ready to think of children.
"Gah," She gasped in shock.
I quickly reworded. "More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you, too."
Bella stared at me for a full minute, and I continued running my hand up and down her back as I let her think. "I know what I'm doing," She said finally.
"How could you know that, Bella?" I thought of Esme, who settled for thinking of me and the rest as her children. Children that were a hundred years old. Thought of Rose, and the bitterness she still carried. "Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you might imagine."
"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. It it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did - we'll adopt."
She made it sound so simple. I sighed at the feelings that flooded into me, and knew my voice was passionate as I replied, "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human-"
She cut me off by placing her fingers over my mouth, and I automatically swallowed the venom that flooded my mouth at her warm skin on mine. "You are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party."
"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I?" I purposely cut off the morbid thoughts. I was making her unhappy, and I never wanted to do that. "Must be the nerves."
"Are your feet cold?" Her voice was back to teasing.
Grateful she couldn't stay upset with me, I smiled. "Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait…"
Edward, get your butt out here or we're coming in.
"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I sighed at the glee in Emmett's mental voice.
"What's wrong?" Bella asked quickly, tensing in my arms.
I ground my teeth together in frustration. I wanted more time here with her. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."
Her arms tightened around me for a moment, then fell away. I missed her warmth already.
"Have fun," She whispered.
I heard Emmett land outside her window. "If you don't send Edward out, we're coming in after him." He spoke quietly, aware of Charlie in the next room, but there was an underlying threat in his voice.
Bella only laughed, long over being scared of him. "Go, before they break my house."
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to leave her, and knowing Emmett and Jasper wouldn't actually try to force me out. Not with Charlie here. Still, I did need to hunt. I left the warmth of her bed and put my shirt back on, leaning over her to kiss her on the head. If I started kissing her lips again I really would want to stay. "Go to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."
"Thanks!" Her voice was teasing again. "That's sure to help me wind down."
"I'll meet you at the alter," I promised with a smile, unable to keep the joy that even the thought of it put into my voice.
"I'll be the one in white." She finally managed to say something about the wedding without sounding nervous, and I had to chuckle.
"Very convincing," I teased as I stepped to the window, and with one last look at her leapt into the night.
TBC….
"I'll Never Have That Chance" from "Lestat: The Musical."
"Get Me To The Church On Time" from Rogers and Hammerstein's "My Fair Lady"