Chapter 1 The Party Ends

A/N From Penny and Leonard's break-up in season three to mid-late season six there was a lot going on between and around the two, without knowing much of what Penny was thinking. This is an attempt to fill in her reasoning, somewhat explain her commitment phobia, and still stay within canon, mostly.

It is set at the end of "The Closet Reconfiguration" 6X19.

I have to thank SRAM and WeBuiltThePyramids for their critiques of the early chapters. An additional thanks goes to WeBuiltThePyramids for pointing out a possible ambiguity in Chapter 1. zhalen565 and .Molly looked at both the early chapters and additional chapters to this point. They were both very encouraging, after looking at the later chapters, and for that I'm quite thankful.

Penny's reaction is explained in more detail in chapter four.

Normal disclaimer: Someone else owns these characters, the characters own me.

Penny ran to Sheldon, yelling "Party's over, Party's over" as she did so. She pushed him out the door, grabbing the bag and ripping it from Sheldon's hand. The rest of the gang swung their heads to the doorway, but couldn't see what was going on. All they heard was a door slamming.

Leonard had gotten up and walked out into the hallway. Sheldon was standing by the elevator, still looking at Penny's closed door. From the side Leonard could see an expression of puzzlement and anger on Sheldon's face. Leonard took a few steps until he was next to Sheldon, also looking at the closed door. He said, "What happened Sheldon?"

I don't understand." He said, turning to Leonard. "She grabbed the bag out of my hand and ran into her apartment. How am I supposed to finish her closet, Leonard? You go tell her to let me in so I can finish."

"Let it go, Sheldon." Leonard said, as he shook his head. "You finding that bag has probably embarrassed her."

"Why would she be embarrassed by a chew toy? Sheldon said, looking puzzled.

"I don't have time to explain it too you, I'm going to talk to Penny. Go ask Amy about her toothbrush, and let her explain it to you." Leonard said with a smirk.

Penny was sitting on her sofa with her back to the door. Trying to stop the sobs that that were escaping from her. She heard voices in the hall and recognized Leonard's voice. "No, I can't see him now." She thought while wiping away the tears as those old feelings and memories came back. "That stuff is far behind us. Why remember it now, when everything is going so well?" She heard a door slam, an attempt to turn the knob, and then a soft knock on her door.

"Penny, let me in" said Leonard.

She got control of herself. "Please, Leonard, not now," growled Penny.

"It's OK, Penny" Leonard said with encouragement. "Just let me in."

"Just leave me alone for now," she said with a touch of frustration.

"Come on Penny." Leonard said, now with a touch of annoyance. "I thought we were past this. We've been talking through the problems we've had. Let me in, talk to me."

Penny was about to yell at him to go away yet again, when Leonard's comment triggered the recent memories. They had been talking through their problems. After all this time, they weren't hiding the problems, but actually solving them.

Her mind snapped to the night they returned from their Valentine's Day dinner. After all the problems she caused, Leonard didn't even look at her walking up the stairs. Her goodnight only elicited a "Yep" from him as they reached the fourth floor. No kiss, no hug, he just went right to his door.

Penny knew she had acted horribly, when all Leonard wanted to do was give her a nice Valentine's Day. Leonard always walked her to her door, even if they had argued. He must have been really pissed about the way she acted.

Then he suddenly charged into her apartment. He was angry with her and complaining about her behavior and wanting to know why. On top of all that, he didn't just agree when she called herself a bitch, he actually call her a bitch.

This was the Leonard that had seem to grow since they started dating again. More confident, more in control. After she confessed that she was scared about marriage, his anger dropped away he became the Leonard she'd known for six years, but different. He was still sweet and showing his concern, but he wasn't hesitant and knew exactly what he wanted out of the whole situation.

There were no judgments or recriminations about it, once they started talking. They just talked and Leonard eased her worries about his proposals, by leaving it up to her.

"I have to talk to him. He would understand, he always has." She thought.

"H-H-old on," she stammered as she sniffled to catch her breath. "I'll unlock it."

She unlocked the door and yell out, "It's open." Leonard entered, closed and locked the door. He didn't want anyone coming in unannounced and upsetting Penny any more than she was. He turned and saw Penny was already back on the couch. Sitting on the far side, turned away from him, her elbow resting on the arm of the couch, her hand covering her face, softly sobbing.

Leonard gave a short, small smile as his mind drifted back to the first time he asked her out on a date. She was sitting the same way, except there was no blanket, when he entered her apartment after she found Mike with another woman.

He walked to couch and sat down. "Penny?" he asked. She continued sobbing.

He reached out and touched her shoulder, "Penny, please?"

She turned to face him. Her eyes red and tears falling down her face. "I'm s-s-sorry L-L-Leonard."

Leonard reached out and gently touched her cheek. "For what? He asked.

"For having this," she said, raising the bag.

"But, why?" Leonard asked quizzically. "I'm sure everyone over there understood what it was and all of them, at some point have mentioned masterbating. Even Sheldon, when we donated to the sperm bank. There's nothing to be embarrassed about, you even told me you've done it."

Penny looked at Leonard with indignation. "When did I tell you that?"

"After the date last year. When I asked you out again for the first time? Seeing the confusion on her face he continued, "We were walking up the steps and I told you I missed you and you asked me if all I missed was the sex." I said, "Yeah sex with you is pretty great, have you tried it? And you said, 'I have, you are not wrong'."

There was a nod and a quick smile, she had stopped crying, but her face returned to being sad, "I didn't get that right. It's not that I'm embarrassed about having it. I'm upset because of all the memories that it represents.