s.CRY.ed: The True Story
This is my random s.CRY.ed parody that is based on the series.
I had originally planned to go through the episodes and parody each one, but I have decided that I will start out with episode one and if I run out of ideas for each episode or people hate it I am going to make original stories.
I actually plan to do all of the episodes, but I might throw in some random stories that didn't happen in the show. (Or Manga.)
Disclaimer: I do not own s.CRY.ed or any of it's characters. They are owned by whoever was talented to make this series. The randomness, however, is mine!
Now on with the story!
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s.CRY.ed: The True Story
Episode 1: Pwned!
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Somewhere above the Lost Ground...
(Mimori is in an airplane)
Lady Over The Speakers: Blah, Blah, Lost Ground, Blah, Blah, Alter User, Blah
Mimori: God, she is annoying...I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE RYUHO! (Fangirl Squeal) (Looks out the window and sees Kazuma)
Mimori: OMG WTF! CRAZY MAN ON THE AIRPLANE!
Kazuma: Hey.
Mimori: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, STAY AWAY! STAY AWAY! I WON'T SUCCUMB TO YOUR ADVANCES!
Kazuma: The hell! Dude, mainlanders are weird.(Says the guy standing on the plane...) Besides, uggo, I wouldn't rape you if you payed me. (Jumps off the plane)
Mimori: Oh, thank god he left. I could totally see in his eyes how beautiful he thought I was and how much he wanted to have his way with me.
Random Plane Passengers: O.o (A "YEAH RIGHT, COW!" is heard in the back, but Mimori ignores it and starts a rant about Ryuho.)
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On the ground...
Random Thugs: Oh, we don't have to keep our guard up. It's not like some guy with an alter on his right arm is going to fall from the sky and take the chief back...
Kazuma: MUHAHAHAHA THINK AGAIN, BITCHES!
(Explosion)
(Thugs dead on the ground)
Kazuma: PWNED! THIS IS THE DAY YOU WILL REMEMBER AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT--(The chief's I beam falls on him and he throws it off and jumps up)...Kazuma the Shell Bullet...
Kazuma: FATASS! LOSE SOME GODDAMN WEIGHT! (Drags him off)
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The Next Day...
Random Detective: Twas another alter user.
Cherice: Figured as much...
Random Detective: Yup...
Cherice: Uh- huh...
Random Detective: Um...Are we done here?
Cherice: Yeah...I'm gonna go pretend to be cute now, but everyone knows my voice sounds like a cat getting run over by a 16 wheeler.
Random Detective: Kay...ho-bag...
Cherice: What?
Random Detective: ...Nothing...
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Later on in some village...
Kazuma: Wow, I really cleaned up on this job. But wait, I haven't been a complete moron and done something stupid yet. Oh I know! I will give most if not all of my money to some random kid!
Random Kid: SWEET, BEE-YOTCH!
Kazuma: Ah, the innocence of youth.
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At HOLY...
Zigmarl: TATERS!
HOLD Member: Er...
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Random Field...
Kanami: Wow...I'm bored...I wish Kazuma was around so I could show him my mad pwning skillz...
Random Old Guy: Wanna come to my house for some tea?
Kanami: NO, DAMNIT! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE TEA WITH PERVY OLD MEN. NOW LEAVE ME SO I CAN ANGST ABOUT KAZU-KUN!
(Kazuma Appears)
Kazuma: It is I, Kazuma!
Kanami: WOOT! Now give me my money, bee-yotch!
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A tad bit later at the Kazu-kun mansion...
Kanami: WHAT! THIS IS ALL? YOU WILL GO BACK OUT THERE AND DO MORE WORK MISTER!
Kazuma: Sir, you need to calm down.
(Kimishima appears)
Kimishima: Never fear, for I am here! And I have a new job for you!
Kazuma: Oh god, it's not like the strip thing is it?
Kanami: What?
Kimishima: Er...Nothing. Anyway, no, it isn't.
Kazuma: Aw...Well, then I don't want it.
Kimishima: You are going to take it. Do you know why?
Kazuma: Why?
Kimishima: Because I'm da pimp! That makes you da ho!
Kazuma: ...Oh, fine.
Kanami: I'm leaving now.
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HOLY Convoy...
Cherise: The Commander won't stop shouting "TATERS!" into the phone...Oh, and we have found a Native Alter.
Ryuho: First, go get Elian to get him some goddamn taters and LET'S GO GET THAT ALTER USER! YEE-HAW!
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Random Destroyed Location...
Biff: Don't mess with me, bitch, or I will pwn you!
Kazuma: Think again, fatso!
(Fight Ensues)
Kazuma: MUHAHAHAHA I PWNED YOU ALL! YOU ARE ALL MY HO'S!
(Bright ass lights flip on and HOLY Convoys appear)
Cherice: AS IF! We shall see who pwns who!
Kazuma: Oh shut up, you stupid sea cow!
(Hits Convoy)
Cherise: (Panty Flash)Hey! Don't call me that...you...you...err...
Kazuma: Don't hurt yourself.
Ryuho: Enough talking! Zetsuei! Dance of the Ribbons!
Kazuma: Ooh...Pretty.
Ryuho: Thank you...NOW DIE!
(Kazuma gets his ass beat)
Ryuho: I AM ZE PWNING MASTER!
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Kazu-kun Mansion...
Kanami: I was dreaming...about some lame ass who got his ass beat to hell.
Tsh...dumbass.
END
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Did you hate it? Love it?
After going through all of the s.CRY.ed fanfics I realized GYRAX had already done a s.CRY.ed parody (Which was brilliant.), and I tried to make mine as original as possible and I really tried not to take anything.
The only thing that was really similar was the Cherise panty flash...but I mean, come on...thats a must for any parody.
Next Episode 2: Enter Mimori: No Chance In Hell!
(BTW, If anyone can think of a nice little nickname for Mimori and/or Cherice and/or I would love any suggestions!)
(Hell, I would love any suggestions at all!)