Why Spitz hates Valentine's Day
Disclaimer: I do not own Storm Hawks, they belong to Nerds Corp. However, I do own the gag most people would recognize from a few of my fanfics.
Spitz hated Valentine's Day.
Oh no, it wasn't because he couldn't find a nice lizard girl to hang on the dreaded of days; that would be the only thing to worry about. Oh no, it was on this day, while Repton was looking to "fight" Starling, the other Raptors would throw a big party with girls and booze. And during this party, there would be one drunken lizard that would walk up to his and ask… Wait; let's just show you guys what happens after that.
The skinny lizard was sitting on a barstool, staring at all the guys who had been lucky to get some dates for the party; heck, even his brothers had some females to dance with, while he was stuck alone, waiting for that dreadful moment. Oh, if the gods were merciless as most people would say, they would have just saved him from embarrassment. But no, they had to let him suffer.
Anyway, his torturing was going to start in 3…2… And cue in the drunk who was going to make the next few minutes of his life miserable. First, he would order the runt a drink, which he wouldn't drink. Then, the Raptor started to say some pick-up lines, that would make any female irritate. And lastly, he would ask him, "So… You wanna dance with me, hunny?"
Spitz just looked over at him with an irritated look and answered, "No, I am not danthing… Ethpethially, who can confuthe me with the oppothite thex." This confused the other lizard greatly, even when he was smashed from all the drinking.
And to add insult to injury, he asked, "But you're girl, right…?" Now, for someone with his stature, he wouldn't pull off with much strength. But digging deep into his anger and in one punch, whacked the drunk all the way across the room. Everyone stopped and stared at the hurt lizard, before looking back at the peed-off runt. And so, with all his breath, Spitz shouted to the Heavens,
"I AM A GUY DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Author's Notes:
And that's why Spitz hates Valentines' Day.
Okay, I know it's short drabble. But to tell the truth, I wasn't really planning on writing a Valentines' Day's fanfic. But this came up and I thought it would be funny to post it. For some reason it played out better in my mind.
Anyway, if you like this, read some of my other stories that I did or currently working on.
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