Chapter 1

BPOV

June 17th, 2007

"Edward, stop!" I screamed as he tickled me. I tried to pull his hands away from my stomach, but he was stronger than I was. "Edward! Edward! Edward!" I said between laughs. I was pretty close to peeing in my pants, so I had to stop him. It was time for the safe word. "Vampire!" (A/N: haha I had to make that the safe word, lol)I yelled and he backed away almost immediately.

"Are you okay?" He seemed concerned, and I chuckled at his protectiveness.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, resting one hand on my stomach.

"Then why did you use the safe word?" He was genuinely concerned, so I decided not to put him through too much.

"I just thought it might ruin your day if you had to clean up after me." I said, not wanting to say 'pee' in front of Edward.

"Huh?" he asked. I just rolled my eyes and scampered off to the bathroom. When I returned a minute later, he had a smug look on his face.

"What now?" I asked.

"Nothing…."

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen you tell me what you know that I don't know right now or I will come over there and punch you in the jaw!" I said aggressively, knowing that it was an empty threat, but also knowing that Edward would fall for it.

He looked around sort of guiltily before pulling out a black book from behind him. It sort of looked like-oh no. It wasn't.

"EDWARD!" I screamed. "WHAT DID YOU READ IN THERE?" I asked, panicking. He didn't say anything; he just bolted out the door, down the hall and into the bathroom. I didn't catch him in time to get the book back from him, so I banged on the door incessantly until he finally opened it up with a hurt look on his face. "What?" I asked.

"You're not a virgin?" he asked, sounding quite hurt.

"Edward, I don't want to talk about this right now. Please, just drop it." I pleaded, hoping he didn't read into the details on that specific page.

"No, we're going to talk about this now, because you're my best friend, and we're supposed to tell each other everything." He practically spat the last word at me.

"Edward, please. Not now." I said, attempting to force back the tears that were pricking the backs of my eyes.

"Fine." He said, grabbing his coat from my doorknob. "Don't let me in, Bella. Don't tell the truth to your best friend since birth. Just keep it all locked up inside, where nobody can every really know you." He said, storming out of the house, leaving my diary sitting on the floor of the hallway.

I sank down to the floor, not wanting to bring back the memories of those nights. I cried, yanking my hair at the roots, wondering how I was going to get through summer without my best friend there to help ward off the Mike Newtons of the world.

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BOPV

June 14th, 2007

It had been a week since Edward an I had last spoken, and I was trying hard to keep my cool as I walked up to him while he was reading on the hammock in his backyard.

"Edward?" I said in the tiniest voice imaginable. He looked up to see me with my puffy eyes, my frazzled, un-brushed hair, and my ratty pajamas on still.

"Bella" he breathed standing up, looking worried. "What's wrong? Why do you look so sad? I know what I said was harsh, and I'm so sorry, you don't deserve any of that, my mind was just-" I held my hand up so he would stop babbling on.

"It's okay, Edward. I just wanted you to know what that stuff inside my diary was about."

"Oh, no Bella. Really, I don't deserve to know anything. It's your business, I shouldn't have even looked in it anyways." He babbled.

"No, I need to tell someone, and you're the only person I trust to keep secrets like this." I took a deep breath, trying to steady the emotions that were swarming around inside me, but I couldn't keep it together. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and Edward embraced me in a tight hug, lowering us down onto the ground so we were sitting.

"Shhh, it's okay, Bells. I'm right here." He cooed, rubbing small circles on my upper back as I sobbed into his chest.

"Edward, I know you have a right to know what's going on, but you need to know that this isn't my choice, okay? I'm doing this to protect you." I said, sniffling.

"You don't need to protect me. Right now, all you need is to let go." His voice was soothing, but I couldn't let go.

"I can't just let go, Edward. It's so scarring, I just- I can't."

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm right here." He said again, this time more soothing, and I soon melted into his embrace.

I finally broke the silence, knowing that even if I couldn't move on, I could fess up.

"Edward, when I was eleven, I was raped and beaten by Phil." I said, still managing to hold everything together even as the memories of emotional and physical pain flooded my mind.

"But, how? You were here all year, you only went away for the summer…" he trailed off at the end as if coming to realization.

"Do you remember where I went for summer vacation that summer, Edward?" I asked as if all my memories of that summer had been repressed, and I was fully normal again.

"Phoenix." He muttered under his breath, almost too quiet for me to hear it. "But, you said you were beaten, you came home without any bruises or cuts or scrapes or anything." He looked astonished and scared at the same time.

"Phil started with the…raping at the end of the summer, towards mid July. Before that, he'd just beat me, plain and simple. I'd get up, Renee would be gone, and he would be sitting at the end of my bed, waiting for me." I shuddered at the memory of waking up to and angry Phil every morning.

"I'm so sorry Bella. Please, what can I do to help?" he looked at me with those gorgeous green eyes of his and I couldn't imagine dragging him into this mess any further than he'd have to.

"Just, don't say anything to anyone. Not to Charlie, not to Carlisle, to Esme, to Renee, nobody. And Edward, could you, " I took a deep breath before asking him for possibly the biggest favor I'd ever ask of anyone. "Could you just love me?" I searched his face for any sign of sadness or anger or anything, but it was only shock. I would give anything to know what was running through his head at that very moment.

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EPOV

She took a deep breath.

"Could you just love me?" She looked absolutely innocent and genuinely scared, and I was sitting there like an idiot staring at her. All this time, all she needed was love, and all I gave was friendship. I had been holding out since the first grade when Newton gave her a special valentine, and I knew from that very moment that she had to be mine. I wouldn't let Newton or any other guy get her, because she was meant to be with me, and now she was.