Disclaimer: Clearly, I do not own anything.

(This fanfiction is, for the most part, purely humor. Anyone who reads this is welcomed to review.)

The last thing on Kakuzu's mind when he died was Hidan - he could honestly care less about the rather annoying 'immortal'. Maybe he died - ha, so much for being immortal. Kakuzu knew he himself could die, he wasn't invincible. Actually, he could recall a few times when he had almost died. It was merely luck that he had survived. Well, skill had a part in such occasions as well. Kakuzu wasn't weak in any sense of the word - he had lived long enough to hone his shinobi skills to an effecient level and quite a few shinobi had found that out the hard way.

None of that mattered, however. Kakuzu was dead...

So why was he standing again? Where he died, no less. Kakuzu scanned the area finding no one else around, not even his own body lying on the ground. Maybe he wasn't dead?

"Yes, you're dead." The voice wasn't familiar.

Kakuzu didn't say anything as he turned toward the un-familiar voice. The former Akatsuki member's eyes visbly widened as the figure came fully into his vision. White robe. Blonde hair. Sandals. Golden aura. Halo. Wings. No.

"You have - "

"Got to be kidding me?"

"Why are you - "

"Here?"

Kakuzu bristled. "Stop before you -"

"Piss me off?" Kakuzu simply stared at the supposed creature of myth before him. Why was an angel visiting him? He had never been a religious man. Ever. So why was there a 'heavenly' messanger standing before him? More importantly, why was it taunting him? Weren't angels supposed to be kind or some junk like that?

"Alright," Kakuzu sighed as he put a hand on his hip, "you're certainly not bringing me to heaven. Why are you here?"

The stranger smiled, revealing amazingly white teeth. "Do you want redemption?" Kakuzu literally laughed out loud - something he didn't do often. He honestly didn't care what he got. He was already dead.

"Not particularly." The answer was honest enough. It was better than saying 'hell no'. Kakuzu watched as the angel's smile didn't falter and felt uneasiness settle in his middle. Oh Lord, (no pun intended).

"Ah, I should have known you would have said something like that." The almost too beautiful creature put it's hands on it's hips, almost seeming to mock Kakuzu. "But it doesn't matter. The question wasn't actually a question - I only asked for amusement." The angel allowed Kakuzu to frown before continuing.

"You see, I'm pretty much forcing you to earn your way to heaven." The angel's voice was filled with a demanding tone and Kakuzu found himself not liking it all too well.

"Uh huh. What if I refuse?" The angel laughed and pulled it's arms to his sides.

"I don't think you understand - you have no choice in this. You have to."

Kakuzu glared. "Or what? You'll send me to eternal damnation? I don't care." The angel seemed frustrated by the remark, but conitnued anyway.

"It'll be far worse than that, I'm afraid." The angel's smile had completely faded and itls eyes had narrowed considerably. Kakuzu somehow knew there would probably be no more refusals or speaking of them. Great. Why couldn't he had just died and be left alone?

"Say I believe your threat," Kakuzu started as his hands fell to his sides. "What then?"

The angel smiled, "Come here."

Kakuzu simply stood where he was. "What?" What kind of response was that? The angel laughed, no, giggled more like, and started walking toward the dead shinobi.

"Eh, I expected too much." With that, the two dissapeared.

Kakuzu stared into a sea of blackness. Then, after a moment to register where he was, realized the so called sea was actually the shadow of trees in a forest. It was dark - eerily dark. Kakuzu turned around and was blinded by his new found 'friend's' glowing body. Great, now he couldn't see at all... "Where are we?"

The angel smiled, or Kakuzu thought it smiled, and pointed at a large, rubble filled hole. What the hell was it?

"That doesn't answer my question." Kakuzu said rather irritably.

"Oh, I forgot that you didn't know where your partner was buried." The angel laughed and turned toward the large crater. "He's down there, in pieces, but he's down there."

Kakuzu finally realized after a few moments what the angel was talking about. Oh. Hidan, his partner. Ugh...why did they have to find him? The guy was completely annoying. "Oh, right. Why are we here? To dig him up?"

The angel nodded. "Yep. But don't worry, you can't lift anything, so you don't have to help."

"Wasn't going to." Kakuzu mumbled. The angel sighed and turned toward the crater again. In the blink of an eye, every single piece of rock was gone. Kakuzu had to look twice to believe what had happened. Things just kept getting stranger. "Is..he down there?" Kakuzu asked while staring down the hole. He couldn't see anything.

"No you asshole." Came a reply. Kakuzu spun around to see Hidan standing right behind him. Great. He was back. Could Kakuzu not get rid of him in even the afterlife? That was somehow not fair on so many levels. Kakuzu's anger dispelled however when he noticed curiously that his partner was not in pieces. He wasn't even dirty. Kakuzu then decided to give himself a look. He was wearing his normal gear as well, even the mask and headband. Why hadn't he noticed that before?

"Let's go over this once," the angel, which Kakuzu almost had forgotten about, interrupted. "You are both dead - "

"I can't die." Hidan said in an 'as-a-matter-of-factly' voice. The angel laughed warmly at the shinobi's words and simply continued.

"You are both dead and are currently redeeming yourselves. This journey is difficult, and you have to comply with what you're asked to do. If not, well, let's just say you won't like what happens if you refuse." The smile on the glowing figure's face almost sent a shiver down the two ninjas spines, but they wouldn't admit it out-loud.

"So.." Hidan began as he crossed his arms over his chest, "We're like, paying for what we've done in life?" The angel nodded and Hidan laughed loudly, holding his middle and trying not to fall over. "That's probably the funniest thing I've ever heard! We're supposed to 'redeem' ourselves? That's too damn funny."

"You know, I thought you would get on my nerves when I met you, but I actually like you." Hidan cocked an eyebrow at the angel's laughing voice. "You're halarious."

"What?" Hidan hissed as he reached for his - wait, he had no weapons on him. Oh right, he had dropped them earlier...Damn.

"You don't have your weapons. Even if you had them on you, they would have been taken away."

"No shit, I figured my weapons weren't with me when I coudln't find 'em." Hidan snorted. What was with this thing? Or, person...Hidan honestly couldn't tell if it was a woman or a man. "But seriously, I can't die."

The angel smiled patiently and started walking toward the light haired man. Hidan took a couple of steps back, bumping into Kakuzu, who was lost in thought. The two automatically looked at each other and glared. Kakuzu shoved his 'partner' away, his glare never faltering. "Watch yourself, Hidan,"

"You're dead," the angel interupted and Hidan turned around to see a rather beautiful face very close to his. Hidan noticed that the creature looked more like a man - Hidan hated to say it, but a very beautiful man, even prettier than Itachi - than a woman. "See? I can put my hand right through you and you don't even feel it."

The words barely registered as he looked down at his middle and saw that a rather perfect hand had been sent through his middle. What the..? He didn't feel anything - and more importantly, there was no blood! No feeling, nothing. "..How.."

"You're dead, darling." The angel smiled again as Hidan looked up at the creature, horrified. Hidan had never felt so lost in all of his life - of course, this was the after-life...

"But, lord Jashin...and..." The angel clicked it's tongue and shook it's head, almost as if the being was trying to calm the clearly shocked ninja.

"Lord Jashin is merely a god for the living; when you aren't able to make your sacrifices for a certain amount of time, he rejects you." The angel's tone of voice was neither mocking nor respectful, it sounded like it was just relaying a fact. It seemed to wait for a response as it removed it's hand from Hidan's middle. Hidan blinked a couple of times and realized what the angel had just said. How dare this...thing insult lord Jashin like that? Jashin was not so...so...He just wasn't like that!

"Bull shit! You don't know what the hell you're talking about," Hidan backed away as he clenched his fists tightly to his sides. "Lord Jashin wouldn't - "

"Abandon you?"

"No! He - "

"Knows how much you respected and adored him?"

"Yeah, so you - "

"Don't know what the hell you're talking about?"

Kakuzu watched the strange conversation and could only chuckle to himself. Hidan was such an idiot. Kakuzu watched a little while longer before realizing something - it seemed that the angel was being nicer - for lack of a better word - to Hidan than it was to Kakuzu. Not that anything like that mattered, it was just...something strange. Kakuzu quickly came to the conclusion, as he watched his partner and the bright creature start and finish sentences, that the angel was merely handling Hidan differently. The guy was flat out crazy.

"So there." Hidan finished. Everyone was silent for a few moments before Kakuzu busted out laughing - it was sad how stupid his partner was. The angel merely smiled and shook it's head. Hidan cocked an eyebrow and looked at Kakuzu. "What.." Realization dawned on him, and Kakuzu could literally see his eyes brighten. Kakuzu thought he was going to hurt himself from laughing so hard...

"Damnit to hell!" Hidan cursed as he glared at the angel. "You tricked me! What kind of angel are you?!" The angel laughed softly and sighed.

"Don't blame me," was all it said as it shrugged. Hidan felt his anger peak and he was tempted to attack - "I wouldn't do that if I were you, darling."

"Why the hell are you calling me darling, anyway?" Hidan growled. He had never been called anything like that... The angel smiled kindly and shook it's head.

"Why not? Maybe that's what you need; some kindness."

Kakuzu didn't want to go there, so he interrupted. "Alright, what is it that you want us to do?" The angel looked at the older shinobi, it's smile never fading. Kakuzu frowned. This thing was too creepy...

"You're mission," Kakuzu didn't like the way it used the word mission, it was like it was mocking them for being ninjas, "is to see fit that Sarutobi Asuma's child is born safely."

(This story is not about religion, it's about paying for what you've done. I just loved the idea of those two watching over Kurenai when it came to me one morning as I woke up. Ha ha. I am in no way trying to be insulting to any religion whatsoever - I believe in God. XD I hope I kept everyone in character. See you next chapter, hopefully!)

(P.S. Please review! I would love you forever. XD)