Summary: Naruto won't eat any healthy foods, so what's Sakura going to do about it? One-Shot Slight NaruSaku
Disclaimer: I ride my bike to McDonalds from the box I live in for breakfast in my beat up clothes and pay for my meal in quarters, walk across the street to beg for work, convince someone to buy me a newspaper, go to the library to write stories, and then return to my box to sleep. Does that seem like the kind of lifestyle I'd have if I owned Naruto? In case you're a little wrong in the head and you think it is, then just to be clear I own nothing but the story.
Health Food
Sakura and Sasuke sat outside the Hokage's office, fidgeting in their seats. Their teacher was standing next to them, seemingly completely involved with his reading. Sakura passed a nervous glance to her teammate and he shrugged. They had been called here for "Something extremely important" in the words of the Hokage. That could mean anything from killing Orochimaru to catching a stray cat, and honestly, neither of those choices particularly interested the two ninjas. Still, they were forced to endure the unbearable waiting period that inevitably left them tapping their feet and biting their nails.
Finally, finally, they were called in by Tsunade herself and took a seat. Sakura gave Sasuke that 'why are we here?' look and he shrugged again.
"I'm sure you two must be confused as to why Kakashi and I have called you here." Kakashi's students nodded in response.
"Well, I'm sure you all have noticed that Naruto is less… active than he used to be." Two more nods.
"After some investigation as to why this has happened, we found out that Naruto doesn't… well, basically, he only eats ramen and it's affecting his health."
"That doesn't explain why we're here." Sasuke said shortly.
"Your mission," Tsunade continued, ignoring his interruption, "is to get him to eat fruit."
"…This was the super important thing you called us for?" Sasuke asked incredulously.
"I could even do that by myself." Sakura scoffed.
"Good. Than I won't have to waste my time on this stupid mission. Sakura, you can handle it, right?" He asked his teammate.
"Well I-"
"Good." At which point he and Kakashi made their exit.
"I'm trusting you with this, Sakura." Sakura nodded at her teacher, a little dazed from the simplicity of the mission. Sighing, she left the Hokage's office and made her way out of the building. She would start tomorrow.
Attempt One
Sakura made her way towards the public practicing grounds with a cheery smile. She patted her kunai pouch, just to make sure the little red box she had put in it was still there. Today her mission began, and she was determined not to have this take more than a day. I mean, how hard could it be?
"Hey, Sakura! Good morning!" A familiar voice yelled at her with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning.
"Hi there, Naruto." She greeted back, pulling the box out.
"What's that?" Naruto asked immediately, curiosity taking over.
"Open it! I made it just for you." Grinning with delight, he opened the box. For me! Not for that stupid Sakura-hogging Sasuke.
"…What are they?" He asked after a second, staring at the treats with interest.
"They're chocolate covered cherries. I made them myself, why don't you try one?" This was easier than she thought it would be.
Naruto, however, grimaced at the thought of eating cherries.
"Um… well, you see, I can't eat them." He said, making up the first thing that came to mind.
"Wh-what? You… don't like my gift?" Sakura sniffled, purposely making her eyes tear up. Naruto gulped.
"N-no! That's not it at all! It's just um… The dentist! Yes, the dentist said I can't have any sweets for at least a few weeks. I have too many cavities." He said, looking proud of his own excuse. Sakura gave up her charade and frowned. Damn, he was quicker than she thought. She would have to think of something else.
"Oh, well that's okay. Maybe in a few weeks." She said, giving him a fake smile and spinning on her heel and walking away growling. Damn, looks like I'll have to go to Plan B.
Attempt Two
"Good afternoon, old man!" Naruto greeted the ramen shop owner non-too politely. The man nodded in response.
"I'll have the usual." Almost instantly a bowl of miso ramen with barbeque pork appeared in front of him. Grinning, he grabbed a pair of chopsticks and split them open. Naruto wrapped some noodles around his chopsticks and licked his lips, lifting the bite to his mouth. He hummed in appreciation of the taste. It was like heaven in his mouth, like pure ecstasy, like… watermelon? The soup splattered from his mouth and all across the counter. Well, it would have, if the counter had actually been there. Genjutsu!
Naruto immediately realized what was going on and canceled the spell, looking around for the person who had done it to him. There was nothing there but a bitten watermelon (he shuddered at that; he had almost eaten fruit!) and himself. Glaring at the air he brushed off his clothing and walked away, trying to figure out who would do such a thing to him.
On a building across from Naruto, Sakura cursed her luck. She should have known Naruto wouldn't actually swallow the stuff. Growling at her own stupidity, she jumped from the building and walked towards her home. Back to the drawing board…
Attempt Three
It was already evening and Sakura would be out of ideas if this didn't work. Mediocre though it be, Sakura was at the end of her rope. It had taken her all day to think up and execute the first two plans, and she was tired from holding up that genjutsu. Maybe there really was nothing behind her so-called "Ginormous" forehead. Maybe Ino was right, and it was just there to take up space on her face. Stupid, useless empty head…
Standing on a stool to reach the top of a door, Sakura adjusted the bucket sitting on it. As footsteps approached, she dove behind the couch and out of site, waiting for her unsuspecting pray to walk through the door and get his deserved bucket-o'-fruit to the face. Grinning to herself, she waited in silence.
Naruto trudged towards his front door with a frown on his face, for once. First, he had made Sakura almost cry because he wouldn't eat her fruit, then when he had tried to comfort himself by stuffing his face with ramen, someone had pulled a dirty trick on him and used genjutsu to make a watermelon look like his beloved favorite food. And after all that, he didn't even get to eat real ramen because the restaurant owners wouldn't give him any unless he paid first since he kept skipping out on the bill. How could they expect him to have money when Jiraiya kept taking it? Sighing, he stepped inside his door…Splash!
"Yes! Take that, Naruto!" Sakura yelled; jumping up from behind the couch she had been sitting behind. She looked up, expecting to see Naruto with fruit all over his face and a bucket on the floor. Except, it wasn't Naruto… it was the resounding 'poof' of a disappearing clone.
"That doesn't make any sense! How could he know the bucket was there…?"
Naruto, the real Naruto walked cautiously through the door, looking around to make sure there were no more traps. There were none, much to his relief, but there was that insistent noise…
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang…"…Sakura? Why are you banging your head on my table?"
"Naruto-" Bang "How could you-" Bang "Know that there was-" Bang "A trap?" She didn't want to mention that she was also punishing her forehead for being empty.
"Oh, that. I always send a clone through my door first after Kiba tried to drop a bucket of glue on my head and poor feathers on me… But why are you hitting your head on my table again…?" Standing up, Sakura walked towards him and the fallen bucket of fruit, looking inside it to find there was still one strawberry in it. This was her last chance, the Ultimate-But-Kind-of-Gross-Plan-D. If this didn't work, she'd have to report failure to Tsunade and watch Naruto's life be sapped away from lack of Vitamin C. Taking a deep breath, she put the piece of fruit in her mouth, turned to face Naruto and… well, she kissed him.
Well, this is quite the turn of events… Naruto, being the hyper but not-so-brilliant type of guy that he is, stood there looking pretty confused. That is, until something sweet and not all that bad tasting was shoved in his mouth. Pulling away, Sakura managed to mutter a, 'swallow', which Naruto abruptly did so, too dumbstruck to do anything else.
"S-Sakura? What was that?"
"That, Naruto, was a strawberry." That obviously was not the answer he was searching for, because he still had that I'm-a-confused-little-boy-please-help-me look. Rolling her eyes, she continued.
"Tsunade gave me a mission to make you eat fruit, since it's so unhealthy to eat only ramen and your energy was fading because if it, so, since my first three plans didn't work, I had to resort to desperate measures."
Ohhh… It all made sense now! The bucket of fruit, the genjutsu, the chocolate covered cherries…
"What makes you think I'll keep eating fruit?" He asked curiously.
"If you don't, I'll rip your stomach open and hang your guts as decorations across my apartment, cut off both your arms, both your legs, and watch you bleed to death."
"Hmm… that seems like a good reason…" Naruto started, just a little scared. "But there's one thing I don't get, why'd you go through all the trouble to make up those plans?"
"…What do you mean?" Sakura asked, genuinely curious.
"Well, you could have just asked…"
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang…A/N: Eh, I don't think it was too bad… I was rather bored when I wrote this (I didn't have a ton of things to worry about today). I myself don't find the idea of shoving something in someone else's mouth when it's been in your own particularly attractive, but… it helped the story, now didn't it? Also, I don't actually live in a box, in case anyone was wondering. Oh, and in case anyone didn't get the ending, she started banging her head again… yeah…
Now, be a good little reader and review for me… Please?