Ok yes I am working on Journeys End Alt! next chapter I promise, but I really wanted to write something a bit more light-hearted. So I imagined say if Rose& The Doctor miraculously re-united and got together ect, ect they would probably have a kid. So I was imagining the kid to be a bit like Karen from outnumbered so ideas ran through my head all night and I decided to write them down. May be crap, may be great… let's find out.
Obviously I don't own any of the characters from , or any likenesses to any other BBC Characters (i.e. Karen)
The Doctor gulped. The fate of well, his and Rose's lives, as well as the earth's- lay in the hands of their five-year old daughter, Piper. The same five year old with a curly mass of ginger hair that he couldn't help likening to River Song's but with a colour very similar to Amy's, who had bright blue eyes, similar to those of his 9th regeneration, and the same five year old who after watching The Wizard of Oz the previous day, had decided to go out in a white puff-sleeve blouse, with a blue and white checked dress and red sparkling trainers. He was just happy that he convinced her to wear a bowtie.
He and Rose were trapped, strapped by heavy belts to chairs, and unfortunately he couldn't reach his sonic screwdriver, this was definitely the last time he took Rose's advice of putting it in his back pocket, in case he lost his jacket (honestly that was one time). The aliens were standing around the spaceship, plotting their course to earth which they would then enslave, but first they had to deal with Piper, who was standing right in the middle, not looking the least bit scared at the seven foot purple aliens, with teeth like blades.
"Bring ropes to tie to the small earth female, she will watch the planet burn with her genetic family." The captain smirked, or his equivalent of a smirk anyway.
Piper folded her arms, and stared up at the big, purple alien.
"Well that's not very fair at all is it? All I have done is walk on to your rubbish spaceship, and nobody has been very nice to me at all!"
"Well see here earth female-"
"No I think, I think I should at least have been offered a drink, or-or some biscuits or something. You're not very welcoming are you?"
"Do you mind? We are trying to enslave the planet here!"
"Why do you want earth anyway?"
"We shall return to our beautiful home world, and bring them here to breed a new race!" the alien said proudly
"But earth is rubbish! Honestly, I've been there. It's all very noisy, and once I saw a man shooting people and houses, with a big hose!"
"Piper that was a fireman." Said The Doctor, rolling his eyes
"Well still, he wasn't very nice. Anyway," she turned back to the alien "If your home world is so beautiful, is there any point of enslaving the earth? Sounds like your home is much nicer"
"Well yes granted bu-"
"So really there isn't much point in you enslaving the earth anyway, you may as well just go home."
All the aliens in the room, looked at her strangely- and one checked some readings on a monitor.
"Boss," it said, attracting the larger aliens attention "She is kind of right, I mean the CO2 levels are pretty disgusting, and some areas have got some pretty large radiation spikes, I mean- do we really need earth as another planet? I hear the Slitheen are selling Notriad on the cheap."
The alien contemplated the options for a bit, before looking outside the window at the earth's atmosphere.
"Also," Piper chimed in "By 5 billion/apple/23 the sun will roast up the earth anyway! I should know my mummy and daddy have been, and daddy said it was boring! So you may as well just go home!"
The alien looked at Piper again, for a few seconds and then threw up his hands. "Right then, Notriad it is, abort mission, and untie this girls parents- give them back their ship. I never liked earth much anyway."
Rose and The Doctor both looked at each other in amazement.
"Did our daughter really just tell a group of Ralloxians to go home, without getting shredded?" The Doctor asked, bemused. Rose looked at Piper, who was now sitting in the captain's chair, spinning around and swinging her legs. "Yes, I think she just did."
The next morning, Rose was trying to convince Piper to change her clothes.
"Come on sweetheart, you can't keep wearing your Dorothy outfit every day." She protested, resting on her knees so she was about eye level with Piper.
"But I can!" Piper said adamantly
"Well no, because look at me- I don't wear the same clothes every day, nobody does!"
"Daddy does!"
"Well, that's different!"
"Different how? You go and tell, go and tell daddy to change his outfit and I'll change mine- go on!"
"Well sweetheart, it doesn't quite work like that, your daddy is a big grown up timelord, and that's what timelords do."
"Well I'm part timelord too, so I should be able to wear whatever I want for however long I want!"
"But, I need to wash it."
"No you don't, because daddy soniced it and it cleaned, he did!"
"Well maybe I need to tell daddy not to…" Rose sighed, rolling her eyes
"Well moan at him then not me." Rose threw her hands up in defeat and sighed, Piper really knew how to get her own way.
A few days later, The Doctor was tinkering about under the TARDIS on his swing, when a familiar pair of red trainers came into his eye line.
"Daddy, can I ask you a question?"
The Doctor jumped off the swing, and climbed up the stairs. He picked Piper up and sat her on the jump seat next to him.
"Of course you can, what's up ginge?" he asked with a smile
Piper swung her legs, and fiddled with her hair. She looked up at The Doctor, who was greatly anticipating what would come out of her mouth this time.
"Who would win in like a fight, the Slitheen queen of Raxicoricofallapatiorious, or the Absorbalof queen of Clom?"
"Well darling, I think that the government of Raxicoricofallapatiorious would probably, talk to the government on Clom and-"
"No I mean like a real fight! Like would the Slitheen queen just like, tear apart the Absorbalof queen with her big claws, or would the Absorbalof queen just like absorb her?"
The doctor looked puzzled for a moment, but before he could even attempt to answer- Piper continued.
"Or- would lie, the Absorbalof throw vinegar all over the queen so she exploded, and then absorb all the big chunks? But then wouldn't she absorb vinegar and explode to? And then there would be no queen! How terrible! I hope they don't have a fight, but if they do can we go and watch?"
The Doctor just sighed, and then chuckled before ruffling Pipers curls. "Of course we can sweetheart. Of course we can go and see." Then Piper happily skipped off into the TARDIS, excited at the possible Slitheen versus Absorbalof fight in the foreseeable future.
Once she was out of earshot, The Doctor laughed loudly and ran his fingers through his hair. Rose stepped out of the shadows behind him, and laughed too.
"She's got a point doctor. Who would win?" Rose asked curiously, settling down in the jump seat next to him.
"Honestly? I haven't got a clue."
Ok so let me know if you like through reviews and stuff. This is mostly drabbles, and do not really consist with the canon of series 5/6/7. It probably will have characters from 1/2/3/4 though. (I.e. Martha, Jack, Mickey, Donna- maybe some of the torchwood team and that and then Maybe River Amy and Rory.