Yay, my first fanfic! I was originally planning to do some other huge story as my first but I think at the moment that's a little out of my league. So, here's a funny (I hope) idea that sort of turned into a story. Slight S/R because I'm such a fan ;) Note: I don't own any part of NGE

What's a bird to do?

It was the perfect day for a penguin. The temperature was slightly cooler outside and there was nothing of particular interest to catch a domesticated penguin's attention.

Pen Pen sat on the couch minding his own business, watching one of his favourite television shows, when he experienced a familiar sensation that demanded instant gratification. Pen Pen was hungry, and he wanted fish, mainly due to the fact that it was the only food that he liked the most. Turning off the television (a habit he started after getting blasted by Misato after leaving it on all night) he sat and thought about what he needed to do.

Usually the food was kept in the lower cabinets in the kitchen, so Pen Pen was usually able to get a can and find someone to show it to and eventually open whenever they felt like it. Unfortunately for the penguin, some recent shockwaves from an Angel battle had caused the contents from a few cabinet doors left open, again by Misato, to fall out. In the process, Pen Pen's food had been moved to a higher cupboard, which ultimately, meant that trying to get fed wasn't going to be easy.

Pen Pen's first idea was to find Misato, who seemed to vaguely recognise what he wanted, most of the time. As he travelled into the kitchen, he was blown back by a rather loud,

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

Suffice to say, Pen Pen was slightly confused, seeing as it was in the afternoon of the day, not the morning, when the first of the Yesibu started to flow, resulting in the traditional morning yell. However, something was wrong.

'THUD!'

Misato had passed out on the table and was quietly snoring away, not ready to wake up anytime soon. Pen Pen gave a rather audible sigh (which sounded more like a quiet "waaark…") and moved on, figuring his chances of Misato being able to locate his fish correctly being rather small.

Next on his list was Shinji. Generally, Shinji was fairly co-operative, as long as he wasn't preoccupied with something. Pen Pen recalled a few arguments he'd had with Shinji, getting fed only after resigning to lose television privileges when Shinji was watching something during the time of one of his soaps. Shinji's door was mostly shut, but he was able to stick a flipper in and lever it open. What he saw broke his fish seeking heart. Shinji was asleep, with an equally sleeping Rei snuggled up with her arms wrapped around him. Pen Pen retreated, knowing that neither would be too impressed if he ruined this moment and would probably never feed him again.
Pen Pen stood outside his last stop, a rather large sweat drop visible on his coat. He stood outside Asuka's door, or as he knew, the entrance to the lair of the 'Red Devil'. The hungry penguin contemplated his next move, his growling stomach moving him on to open the door. What happened next wasn't entirely beneficial. Pen Pen had walked in on Asuka getting changed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU HENTAI BIRD! GET OUT!" screamed Asuka as she instantly covered herself with her towel.

"WAAARK!" was the only response Pen Pen could give as he dodged the barrage of books now flying at him at high speed as well as various obscenities in both German and Japanese.

He escaped without injury, before the door behind him closed with a rather audible 'SLAM!'

The lone penguin then resided himself to sit on the kitchen floor, staring hopelessly at the kitchen cupboard containing his food. He was about to give up completely when he heard a small shuffling in the lower cupboards. Getting up slowly, he walked over and opened the door.

Pen Pen was met by the shocked expression of Kaji, hiding in the kitchen cupboards, who quickly grabbed him and shut the door again. Pen Pen wasn't so much as shocked, as he was to wondering why Kaji was hiding in the cupboards.

"Let's settle this now," said Kaji in a whisper, "I'm hiding in your apartment because I was here talking to Shinji earlier. Then I heard Misato come home, so I hid in here. Then Asuka came home, which meant that there were a lot of people in here. Now Misato is out there drunk and I'm not going to risk leaving because Misato might kill me in her, uh, drunk state."

Pen Pen contemplated this for a moment, weighing up his options. On one hand, he had Kaji's eternal gratitude, on the other, he might get to see him get beaten senseless, waking everyone up and maybe resulting in him getting fed.

Kaji noticed Pen Pen's almost evil expression (as evil as can be for a penguin) and moved a hand behind his back. "Tell you what, if you're quiet, there's something in it for you."

From behind his back, he pulled out a jumbo can of fish. "They're imported, from Alaska I hear," taunted Kaji as he brought the can right in front of Pen Pen's face, letting him see it in the dimly lit space. Pen Pen instantly agreed and sat down with the can, letting Kaji open it with a pocketknife.

Later that night, when everyone was asleep, Kaji moved out of the cupboard and stretched out, his muscles sore from being in such a small space for four hours. "Thanks again buddy," said Kaji as he snuck out.

"Waark," came the quiet reply from the fat penguin, who quickly fell asleep from eating way too much. He didn't mind though, he had been feed, and it had been quite a delicious meal.