Chapter One
It was the one o'clock lunch rush at the Espresso Pump. Two bottle blondes and a redhead were hustling and bustling to get to a vacant table. A wide eyed and triumphant grin broke on the redhead, Willow's, face when she spotted a couple getting up from a table on the other side of the coffee shop. Anya, eyes gleaming, were already on the case and ran gracelessly to the table. She snatched a chair just as a tall, in some eyes good looking, broad shouldered man grabbed a hold of the chair opposite.
"Get your grabby han…" Anya yelled, then paused for a while to observe said hands and the man attached to them for a brief moment. "Smooth, long fingered hands, muscles, yum. Sit yourself right on down and join us," she commented with a shiny, wide smile that had been known to charm many. Unfortunately, what usually came next from her mouth also chased away most that had fallen for the smile.
Hook, line and sinker. Wonder for how long? Buffy, the other blonde, thought as she made her way over to the table with Willow, and Mr. Tall and Bulky shrugged and sat himself down as demanded. Willow sat down as well, quirking a sceptic eyebrow at the guy and Anya before glancing at Buffy. Buffy just gave a nod that said, "Let's wait and see" while smiling slyly and conspiratorially.
"So Mr…?" Anya asked while measuring his abs with her eyes. He opened his mouth to respond, but Anya continued so fast that Buffy and Willow only caught that the name began with B. Anya was on a mission. "So what is it you do? Do you make a lot of money?" Anya beamed hopefully
"Um. I'm a sales clerk at Nordstrom so it's not that much. Yet. Things are looking great though so I might be climbing the corporate ladder. You might be looking at the next supervisor," Mr. B Something responded proudly. Willow and Buffy both had to repress chuckles on the wide range of emotions his statement earned from Anya. Her face went from nose scrunching when her prospect mentioned a career in retail, to lit up as he mentioned career climbing, then back to disappointed when she realized his goals were to be a department store supervisor.
"Retail. Hm, " Anya contemplated out loud. "Well he has some ambitions, gotta admire ambitions. We'll just have to work on heightening them a bit, won't we, Bart?" Anya said smiling and patting his hand.
"Actually its Brian," he corrected a bit offended both by the name mishap and Anya's condescending tone and manor. Anya turned to Buffy, completely ignoring Brian's response
"I mean, so what if he's in retail now. It might be worthwhile as long as he can give me orgasms," Anya ended in a whisper, but it was still loud enough so that the entire table could hear. The whispering was necessary because for some strange reason she couldn't understand, the O word embarrassed her friends. Willow hid her smile behind her hand, but couldn't suppress the giggle. Brian, looking more flustered then ever, mumbled about needing to head over and talk to a friend. He stood hastily, and practically rushed away.
"What!" Anya huffed, offended at Willow. Then she saw that poor Brian was making a beeline for the door. "Hey, wait! What are you doing? Where are you going?" When her calls went unnoticed by Brian she slumped in her chair and sulked. "Okay, what did I do this time?"
Willow was still laughing so hard she was gasping for air and clutching her stomach. Buffy was trying really hard to remain composed for her social tact inept friend.
"Anya, remember when we told you about cutting down on the use of the word orgasm out in public? Especially to strangers?" Buffy asked, then cut off Anya as she opened her mouth to reply, a hurt look on her face. "Oh I know… the whispering thing. Great progress. Really. Next time you might even skip it all together, that's all."
"Like I'd want to date such an easily intimidated man anyway," Anya groaned, sulking.
"There you go chasing away one of my potential tippers again," Dawn Summers, Buffy's 19 year old sister said resignedly as she stepped up to the three friends' table. "You so owe me a big tip for that one. What do you want to drink?" she asked, pulling out her pen and notepad out of the apron.
"Hey, Dawnie. How about a double latte for me," Buffy greeted, giving her sister a little wave. Willow gave a big smile and ordered the same for herself while Anya mouthed 'Decaf', jerkily tilting her head towards Willow. This did not go unnoticed by the redhead.
"That was one time! And I had had four doubles. Besides, I was nervous to begin with, so you would have been all blubber mouthy too! Anyway, you chase guys away even without the help of coffee."
"Try explaining that to poor Tommy," Anya countered slyly. "I'm sure he'd be interested in why his calm, studyish date decided to do a dance number on the table."
Buffy laughed at that, and Willow stuck her tongue out. Anya turned to Dawn.
"Aren't you adorable. Nineteen and already joining the ranks of the American work force. And you've got that cute little apron and that cute little notepad…" Anya said, resisting the urge to pinch the teen on the cheek. Dawn just rolled her eyes and left the three friends to their bickering.
"So, Dawn having fun at her summer job as a Barista?" Willow asked Buffy.
"Yup, I really think she is. It's all she ever talks about. I just wish someone would stop letting her sample everything, because calls from giddy, caffeine pumped sister is really starting to get old," Buffy emphasized. "I think it's even starting to get to Mom now that Dawn's living home for the summer"
"How about you? That Aikido/Yoga thing at the rec center working out for you?" Willow asked.
"Yes, tell us. For instance, any ruggedly handsome men in your classes?" Anya piped in, with a little wiggling of her eyebrows. Buffy rolled her eyes, wondering if her friend could go ten minutes without thinking of A. Men, or B. Money. Willow on the other hand recognized Anya's statement for what it really was. Encouraging Buffy to hook up with someone
"I love the work, Wills and yes, Anya I'm sure there's guys that would suit your taste."
"Right, a guy going to a public rec center to take Yoga and Aikido classes?" Anya mock contemplated this for a brief second before going on "You know what, I really don't see any stock brokers doing that. Getting a job at a country club, maybe. Besides, look what I just entered," Anya said, taking out a flyer from her purse.
The flyer was done in cheesy pastels with a script title that said "Till death do us part". Willow completely ignored the flyer while Buffy eyed it with a scrunched nose.
"I think you sort of missed Anya's point, being that you need to meet someone. Go on a date. You know, dinner, movie, maybe some smoochies at the end of the night. Have some fun! Remember what fun means, Buffy?" Willow managed to pry Buffy's attention away from the tacky flyer.
"Yes, Willow, I remember," Buffy said exasperated, silently adding. Especially since you use every available moment to remind me. "Besides, I did go out on a date. Just the other day. With that Forrest guy that you set me up with from your work," Buffy pouted while remembering the horrific date it had been. He had talked on and on about his work as a journalist and when Buffy brought up the subject of creative writing he had laughed and proceeded to tell stories making fun of the authors who were published in the Saturday edition of the paper. Dreading how he would make fun of her if she told him that she secretly dreamt of getting some of her short stories published in that paper, she ruled him completely incompatible with her.
"Buffy, that was 6 months ago and his name was Ford. Forrest's my boss," Willow said, frustrated in Buffy's seemingly lack of interest in having a love life. "You've got to stop beating yourself up about what happened between you and Richard. Yes, when you were eighteen you thought he was the long haul guy, but you guys grew apart. That happens. Stop beating yourself up with it"
It was all well and good, Buffy reasoned, to understand that growing apart happened. Accepting it was a different issue. She knew that there was no going back, wouldn't go back even if she could. Picking up again as though it had never happened, risking getting hurt so badly again…she was starting to wonder if it was even worth it.
Any discussion on Buffy's love life or lack there of, was halted as Dawn returned to the table with the coffee and Anya impatiently flopped around the flyer. Since the worst part of the lunch rush was over, Dawn sat herself down with her sister and her friends.
"Sorry, Anya, you were saying?" Remembering, Buffy again grabbed the flyer. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is? This isn't one of those dating agency thingies?"
"No, it's one of those TV show thingies. Where pretty girls like myself compete to get the heart and money of a rich bachelor by backstabbing each other and bribing him with… offers of copulation." Anya corrected cheerfully, opting for words other than orgasm, since she knew Buffy was especially sensitive about reference to any sexual phrases when Dawn was present. She thought copulation wasn't in the teen's vocabulary. Unfortunately she also made an obscene gesture with her hand to make sure Buffy and Willow got the point and Dawn got it too. She took one look and started giggling at Anya's antics and Buffy's horrified, blushing face.
"Anya! Impressionable young mind present!" Buffy scolded.
"She's nineteen, Buffy, I'm sure she knows about things by now," Willow put in, reminding Buffy that her sister wasn't a baby in need of mollycoddling anymore.
"She better not," Buffy grumbled.
"I'm going to go now," Dawn said standing up. "Not because what you're talking about is embarrassing me. Although…eww! But I get this feeling that my sister will explode if I stick around any longer, so maybe I'll go." Dawn grinned, and resumed her work, but made a note of the flyer with the TV show.
"You're not seriously joining one of those reality shows? The whole purpose is for the company to earn money while young women degrade themselves. You'd never…" She paused, realizing that this was very much something Anya would like to do.
"That's where you're wrong, Willow," Anya sniffed. "The purpose it mutual sharing of orgasms and getting money. I sent the application in today, and expect to be notified of when to start soon!" The thought of auditions or her maybe not getting qualified completely escaped Anya.
"Maybe you should enter too, Buffy." Anya thought out loud. It would be just the prefect thing to get her friend out of her misery. While she planned to personally snag Mr. Rich for herself, a little practice dating would do Buffy good.
"Absolutely not!" Willow screeched.
"What do you mean? You were just saying that Buffy needed to date more," Anya defended her cause.
"Yes, she does but those things are fake, ridiculous and not to mention cheap. I will not let my bestest friend be subjected to that," Willow argued. Buffy rolled her eyes as the conversation centered around her lovelife again.
When the little beeper on her alarm went off, Anya stopped mid-word and jumped up. Her theory was that if she arrived at her job, which ironically enough was in retail, half an hour early, the boss would see how dedicated she was and give her a raise, as well as put her in administrative.
"Your loss, Buffy," she called as she ran out.
Willow chucked, getting up herself. One perk of being an LA times journalist was the flexible hours, but she still came in as much as often. You never know when the story might come in, she reasoned.
The two friends walked out the door together, where they separated, Willow going to work and Buffy going to her mom's gallery.
In their hurry to leave, all three had forgotten about the Till Death Do Us Part flyer still lying on the table. Dawn wandered over and picked it, putting it in her apron with a smile.
Buffy hadn't had anything resembling a lovelife or a date in ages. In Dawn's opinion, a little intervention was due.