Summary: Inside, Sam is cold. (An drabble!fic, inner demons style. Warning: If you like Sam, you probably won't like this fic. I'm not even sure why I wrote it.)

Disclaimer: Supernatural is not mine. If it were... yeah. This fic will finish that sentence for me.

Spoilers: Pilot, "Wendigo", "In My Time of Dying", "Nightshifter", "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things"... all just small references or quotes.

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"Warm Hands"

Inside, Sam is cold.

Oh, Dean is always going on about his puppy-dog eyes and his trusting demeanor, but Sam has always known the truth. And the truth comes out sometimes when he least expects it.

Like with Ronald.

Yeah, Dean thinks he's all compassionate and understanding because he lends a listening ear and sympathy for grieving sisters, brothers, friends, parents of victims. But all the while Sam has this empathetic look plastered on his face, he's really analyzing things to their finest details. His eyes say, "I feel for you," while his brain is asking questions, like, 'Where was the body found?', 'In what condition was it?', 'Was there any reason that this person might have been killed?' And then the reasons are hypothesized, followed through until their conclusions. Not all of them paint the victim as completely innocent or undeserving.

Sam doesn't think he was wired to think that way. And maybe that's why he's afraid of what the Yellow-Eyed Demon said. So he tries not to think about it, but that is how his brain works. So he can't stop himself. Not in the daytime, when he's researching jobs, not in the night, when he's staring at the ceiling, blankly.

Because he knows he's not as innocent as Dean claims. "You feel guilty after searching the internet for porn," Dean has said frequently, and Sam thinks maybe that's why he was so surprised at the way Sam treated Ronald.

He looked the man straight in the eye and lied to him, "confiscated" his video footage, as Dean said, played the perfect Man in Black. So cold.

So maybe that's why he can't help it when he wonders if it's all his fault. His mother's death, Jess's... maybe even Dad's. Dean thinks it's his fault, but Sam wonders. Maybe it just goes to show how ego-centric he really is, but he can't help but think that maybe his father saved Dean to try and save him.

And so, when Dean asked him, "So tell me... what could you possibly say to make that all right?", maybe that was why he couldn't find the words. After all, it is only the naive that think they have all the answers. But he hadn't been so much as stunned, but struck speechless by his own guilt.

There was a saying: "Cold hands. Warm heart."

Sam sat, comforting grieving family members, and his hands were warm, his whole being emoting, 'Believe in me. Trust me. I care.' While inside...

Warm hands. Cold heart.

And maybe what gets him the most, is that he knows Dean is just the opposite. Putting on this roving, womanizing facade, while the whole time, on the inside, he cares so much. Once, he told Sam, "I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people. Hunting things. The family business." The joking manner thrown in to distract from the hidden truth.

The whole point for Dean, summed up in a few words--"saving people, hunting things."

Cold hands. Warm heart. And Sam is jealous. Because Dean being fake is more genuine than he could ever be.

End.

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A/N: This was one of those "trying something different" fics, so I'd appreciate input. :D Please tell me what you thought--liked, hated, etc. Thanks! Jinxed.