Inspired by the Tumblr Prompt: "You're getting a vasectomy. That's final".

The title comes from what will be the season 7 premiere, "About Three Years Later".

Enjoy!

"You're getting a vasectomy. That's final" she moans at him. The toilet seat feels cold against her cheek and she frowns when he fails to hide his smile at her words.

"You said that last time" he says, still holding her hair back and kneeling behind her. She goes to answer him when another wave of nausea hits her and makes her stick her head back in the toilet, and he scrunches his nose up while rubbing soothing circles on her back. He stretches the hand that's not busy holding her hair and wets the small towel under the sink, grimacing when she gags again and swallowing back his own gag reflex.

"Yeah, well-" she chokes out when the retching sounds have stopped. "I really mean it this time."

"I'm really sorry, baby" Nick says, but he's still smiling and she hates him because this is all his fault. All of it.

Let's have another baby, he said.

We can totally handle another one, Jess, he said.

Everything is his fault.

He presses the wet towel to her face and she blinks at him, sighing loudly and letting her head roll back in defeat. "I think I'm done here" she spits out, and glares at the toilet to prove her point.

"You sure?" he asks her, his warm eyes filled with concern and his brow furrowed. He hasn't shaved in a couple of days and he's wearing one of his old flannels, sleeves rolled up and flaunting his strong, tanned forearms. His left hand is softly playing with her hair, and when he drops his other hand to her bare knee and squeezes she swears her whole skin is on fire from his touch. She lifts her eyes to his face and he's still staring at her, and just then he does that thing with his lip and tightens his grip on her knee, and she lets out a soft grunt because damn, he's so hot and he's not even trying.

"Jess?" his voice cuts through her thoughts and she shakes her head, because it's exactly those thoughts that got them where they are right now.

Again.

She shakes her head and tries to push herself up but her arms are not cooperating. She smiles lightly at him when he wordlessly slides his arms around her and lifts her off the floor, holding her up against him as she reaches for her toothbrush and coats it in toothpaste, sticking it in her mouth. "You know" she speaks though a mouthful of foam and her voice vibrates against his chest, and so she spits out and points the toothbrush at his reflection in the mirror. "This baby better be cute."

He laughs at her and she can't help but chuckle when he scoops her up and walks them back to their bedroom, setting her carefully on the bed. "Any baby that's half you will be cute" he says, and her heart skips a beat. "I'm sure she will be perfect."

She raises an amused eyebrow at him. "She?"

He grins at her and nods his head, placing his hand on her barely there belly and smiling when she immediately links her fingers through his, their hands joined above their unborn child. "Yeah, it's another girl."

"Yeah, right" she mocks him. "If I remember correctly, you also thought Walt would be a girl. And you thought Lily would be a boy, so just admit it, Miller. Your radar is totally off."

"No way. I bet this time I'm right" he sticks his tongue at her and lifts her top so he can press a kiss to her bare stomach. "Aren't I, princess?" he cooes to her stomach.

She runs her fingers through his hair and sighs, and he lifts his head from her stomach so he can lie down next to her and props his head up on his palm. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

She shakes her head at him and then her eyes widen. "We should call-"

"I already did" he cuts in. "They're both good. Lily slept through the night and Walt and Ruth are getting along better. Ruth even let Walt sleep with one of her favourite toys, so of course Schmidt's already planning their wedding" Nick rolls his eyes and Jess chuckles.

"I'll pick them up at five. Don't worry" he smiles at her and his fingers slip under her top, curling over her hip to press her closer to him. She bites back a moan- it's the hormones, okay?- and buries her face in his neck, but that's not helpful at all to her hormones because he smells like Old Spice and cedar and just Nick and his fingers are still warm on her hip.

"Are you sniffing me?"

"Shut up" she moans, and presses herself even closer. "It's the hormones" she cries out, and bites down hard on her lip to stop another moan from escaping her.

If he laughs at her she doesn't hear, but she feels his hand crawling up the inside of her thigh and her hands automatically start pulling at his shirt. He rolls her on her back and settles between her legs, and she gasps because yes, yes, yes, this is exactly what she needs. But then a sudden, unpleasant thought settles in and she feels her eyes filling with tears.

Damn hormones.

"Hey, Nick-" she starts. "I'm sorry if I've been moody lately-"

"If?" she feels his grin on her neck, and shivers when he keeps pressing kisses down her throat.

"-but you know I love you, right?" she ignores his remark because she needs to say it. He stops his kisses to look up at her and that's when he notices the unshed tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry that I've been so mean to you these last few days-"

"Jess, don't-"

"- and I just love you so, so much and I-"

He shuts her up by pressing his lips to hers, a technique he's deemed super effective every single time he's used it. She quiets down under him and sighs into the kiss, and when he lets go she whimpers in protest. "I love you so much" she breathes out, just before his lips crash down on hers again.

"Fuck, Jess" he chokes out, and damn it, are these hormones just floating in the air or what? He lifts a hand to her face and wipes a tear away. "My life is perfect and it is because of you. You are pregnant with my child -again-" he beams down at her and she lets out a giggle. "You're allowed to bitch at me all you want" he teases her.

She laughs and kisses him hard, her heart so full of love for him, and lets him pull her top over her head. Then his eyes widen as he stares at her breasts, and he's looking at her like it's the first time he's ever seen her naked- she would laugh at him if her hormone-clouded, twirly brain was capable of focusing on anything other than getting him naked too.

And it's then, when she finally manages to roll them over and sinks down on him - holy shit, Jess- and he keeps looking at her like she's the only thing in his entire world, that she looks back on the life they have created together and decides that yeah, their life is pretty perfect.

—

Three years after their son Charlie is born, Jess gets accidentally pregnant with a fourth child- a girl that makes Nick lose $50 in a bet with Schmidt because I'm gonna get it right this time, Jess! This one's a boy, you'll see!

A week after they bring her home from the hospital, Nick schedules an appointment for a vasectomy.

I've always envisioned Nick and Jess having two, three kids max- but I wanted to explore the idea that they might have more. So yes, Walt is their firstborn, and then there's Lily, Charlie, and then Eva.

I also loved the idea of Nick being so sure of their baby's sex only to get it wrong all four times. That's how I'm making him pay for the hell he put Jess through in season 6.

I hope season seven gives us the Nick/Jess baby we deserve!