Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate, nor anything to do with the actors, writers, nor the show. I am just writing this merely for my enjoyment and hopefully for yours. If you believe this to be real, please email me and I will sent you the site for Mental Health. Fanfiction. Pure and simple.

Author Notes: With my other story, Even in Death: I would like to apologize for my idiocy of not realizing I hadn't finished the synopsis to leave a slash warning. Trust me, it's shalt'happen again. Oh, though I do wish to give 'her' props for this story idea. So thank you. This is what is kind of labeled as a hopefully humorous Badfic. I am just having fun. So sit back and enjoy the ride.

This is NOT for Het fans.

This IS for Slash fans.

Enjoy!

Daniel sat down on his computer carefully reading what was on the screen.

"I can't believe this!" Daniel yelled, annoyed.

Jack just turned to see what had Daniel so upset. Placing the artefact, he was juggling with on the desk.

Moving so he was now leaning over Daniel's shoulder, "Oh, Wow . . . " Jack stated, amazed.

Daniel just turned to his lover and gave him his famous puppy dog-wounded pouts.

"For crying out loud, Daniel! You know they can't see the truth if it bites them in the ass!"

Daniel sighed and left a small kiss on his lovers cheek.

"I know that Jack . . . It's just upsetting to see it here in black and white." He replied.

Jack smirked. His ego growing even larger now. "Well technically it's in a grayish blue and red but . . . "

"Jack? Do you wanna play solo tonight . . . Because if you don't take my concern seriously I will make sure that's the case indefinitely!"

Jack could see that his lover meant business.

"Daniel, they're all cracked. I don't get how 90 of the SGC thinks I'm banging Carter. I mean she's nice to look at. Got a great rack and . . . " He stopped himself when he saw the anger laminating off Daniel's face.

Thinking quickly, Jack continued: "And she's got bigger balls then me. That way to I'm a toy boy short hair. An. And. I don't remember ever seeing her in a dress... She just seems too masculine in a sense for me. Body built wisely.. All women. Attitude wise: She'd kick my ass. Anyway, I got my love right here and I'm very happy with him."

Jack sighed in relief when Daniel gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're happy with me, Jack. I feel the same way with you, but I would like to see why most of the SGC has this bet going on."

Daniel dug in deeper into the SGC pages.

Jack was thinking of ways to dismember whoever was responsible for these pages. Why were they betting on his sex life, and why was he missing out on the cash?

"HA!" Daniel erupts, pushing his chair back from the computer.

"What?" Jack asked.

"See! See! Before 1999, 87 of the SGC thought you were doing your cute, little, lost archeologist." Daniel thought for a moment. "Cute? Little? Lost?"

"And . . . " Jack asked.

"After that incident with the Zartac, that percentage went to 85 Colonel O'Neill having relations with Sam. I only got 5 of the votes after that." He did his pout again.

Jack leaned in closer, the smug look on his face, unmistakable. "Well, who got the remaining 10?" he asked. Curious to see whom else they thought he was having sex with.

Daniel looked then turned to Jack with a smile on his face. "Anise."

Jack looked mortified. "Oh, god. I think I'm in Het Hell right now. Quick, Daniels... remind me just how wrong our comrades are."

Turning off the computer, Daniel walked over toward Jack who was sitting on his couch. He straddled the General and started to grind his pelvis into Jack's. He stopped for a moment with a question.

" Jack. I got one question to ask you. Why do you think they believed after the Zartac that you and Sam had a chance together? I mean, I know you said you cared for her more then you should and all..."

"Daniel at the time I did care for her more then I should, but it was a physical need, not an emotional one. Did I want to have sex with her? Hell yeah at the time. But now I see what I would have gotten myself into and I'm glad I never went that far. Besides.. Look what she did to Pete. He didn't deserve that!"

Starting the grinds again... "No. Pete is a good guy, and he didn't deserve that."

Jack opened Daniel's fly and put his hand inside. Daniel moaned as Jack worked his hand.

"Doors Locked?" Jack asked. Realizing they should have made sure of that fact way before they started this.

"Ah.. Ah.. Yes! YES!" Daniel moaned.

"Good. Now.. Let's just prove how wrong they are.."

Outside the door, unknown to the two men inside:

"So, you going to double that bet?" A male voice asked.

"Double! Hell, I'm going to Triple. It's a sure fire win" A familiar female voice stated

r/r if you like