Disclaimer: Buffy and everyone else(even Spike) belongs to Joss Whedon and the fine people at the WB. Though I don't know if it would kill them to share ;_;
Distribution: Ohhh please! Take it just let me know. ^_^
Author: MinnieMay
Notes: Well this is a little jab at Spikey's past. Inspired by Fool for Love (of course). I'm not to sure about all of the dates but I'm pretty sure they all fit alright. Bare in mind this was written very late at night. ^_^ READ AND REVIEW!
See You Soon
Spike stared at the ceiling. Boredom. He didn't need a clock to figure out that he had been in the same position for about an hour. He had been thinking about a lot of things, about everything really. He had been brooding. When had he turned into Angel?
With that thought Spike leapt up from the chair as if his bum was on fire. There was no way he would let himself fall to that level of pathetic. Ok, he was possibly past that level but he would never admit that to himself. He decided to go outside and prowl around, see if there were any vamps he could start a fight with, something to get his mind off of things for a few minutes.
The air was cool against his cold skin as he walked out into the night. What would he say to Buffy the next time he saw her? He knew he was low on her list of people to see at the moment but he was sure that he would bump into her, whether she liked it or not. Then what would he say? How could he say how sorry he was without sounding...what phony? Mocking?
No matter how much death Spike had seen, caused even, he couldn't get Joyce's death out of his mind. He didn't understand why she had died exactly when Buffy needed her the most. He still remembered when she had let him come in, sat him down at the counter with some hot chocolate and listened as he poured out his heart. As he told her about Dru and she tried to comfort him. He had never done anything nice for her, if anything his presence just complicated her daughter's life. But still she had listened with an open mind as Spike had told his story; she had tried to console him.
And now she was gone.
It was too sudden to think about and yet it was true. Even if he wanted too he couldn't have another cup of Swiss miss with Joyce and listen to her talk about the gallery or how she could never find someone. She would never comfort Buffy or Dawn. She was gone.
Spike shook his head as he noticed a pair of vampires talking and laughing further down in the graveyard. Joyce would never laugh again. He pulled the stake out of his pocket and began walking towards them. He needed to do something that didn't include thinking.
As Spike crept up behind the vampires, ready to strike he began to wonder. When had he started caring?
****
Sometime during the 1800's
A younger Spike, around nine or ten, stood against the wall during a party. He always hated when his parents were invited to one of these things. It was as if they invited his family just for sympathy. Helping the less fortunate. He would be so excited as he got into his best coat, feeling he would finally be part of high society. Always as soon as he got there he realized how poorly he had dressed, how nice all the other families and children looked. None of the other children his age even talked to him, they were off in another corner whispering by themselves.
That's when he noticed her, she must have walked into the party late for she hurried to the group as if she were breathless. She began talking at once, stealing glances all over the place and bending her head in lower to add something to the conversation. William's heart fluttered in place as he saw her, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her light brown hair was all pinned back into a tight bun except for two strands on either side of her head that were as curly as springs.
Without even realizing it he had taken out a pad and pencil and begun to write down words, trying to describe the beauty that he saw. He knew it was impossible that his words would give her any justice but he wanted to try to keep his first love alive in his mind.
He was so intent on writing that he didn't even notice the two boys that walked up behind him.
"What are you scribbling at there William?" one of the boys asked, startling him out of his trance. William tried desperately to cover the paper with one of his hands.
"Come on old chap show us what you've written" the other boy, the bigger one, said. He leaned over and took the tiny pad out of William's hand and flipped open to the page he had been writing on.
"What does it say? Oh do read it or I'll die of suspense!" the first boy said merrily prancing over to the boy with William's book. William could feel his face heat up and made a mad swipe for the book. The older boy held it out of his reach with a tut-tut.
"Let's see here; 'No more of a beauty I have ever seen, your eyes, your skin, they seem to gleam!" the boys both burst out laughing and William lowered his head in shame. "William, which one of the ladies have you so favored with your poetry?" the bigger boy asked, grinning wickedly. William didn't answer; he looked down at the floor instead wishing he could disappear into it.
"Hold on there's more!" said the young, skinny boy, standing on the tip of his toes to read the book where the bigger one held it. "Her light brown hair, alight with curls-" the little boy stopped reading and both looked at one another. "You think this means what I think it means John?" he asked mischievously.
"Sure does Thomas" the older boy said grabbing William by the elbow and forcing him through the crowd towards the jumble of children over on the other side of the room.
"Please no..." William said weakly, trying to break from John's iron tight grasp. John paid no attention to his pleas and instead pushed him into the group.
"Isabel!" he bellowed looking around and finally spotting the object of William's desires. She turned around and gave him a puzzled look, walking over with a few of her friends. William's heart skipped a beat and surely he thought he would drop dead on the spot.
"Why are you bellowing John? What is it you want?" Isabel asked looking at John and the downcast boy he had beside him. "And who is this?" she asked a little distastefully. God, they let anyone into the social gatherings now didn't they?
"This is William!" Thomas said with a smirk. "He's your admirer Isabel. Even wrote you a poem!"
Isabel's face crinkled in displeasure at the mention of his being her admirer. She didn't want anyone to know about this of course, it might start gossip. Thomas handed her the little book with the poetry in it and she read it with a sneer. As soon as she was done she pulled the page from the book and with her dainty gloved hands began to rip it to shreds.
"You digusting, pitiful creature! How dare you think you can write poetry about me and show it all around. How dare you disgrace me like that! You are a nothing and will always be one!" Isabel said angrily, letting the thorn strips of paper flutter to the ground like wounded birds.
William was bright red by this time, his face turned toward the ground so none of the children would be able to tell that he was on the verge of crying. He heard some of the other children put in cold remarks and soon it seemed that they had all surrounded him and were teasing him horribly. Suddenly a clear voice cut through the din.
"What on earth do you think your doing?" William looked up to locate the speaker and found her immediately. She was one of Isabel's friends, with straight blonde hair loose over her shoulders and blue eyes. She stared at the others in shock. "Why are you taunting this boy? How good of a poet are you? Probably not half as good as he. Why don't you all write a few verses and we'll see who gets to pick apart his writing" the girl said staring at each in turn out of proud blue eyes. "And you Isabel, I thought you would be kinder. If I were you I would be happy that you had an admirer that wasn't just after your father's riches!"
Isabel's face turned a bright shade of angry red as she stared at the girl that used to be her friend. "How could you say that? What gives you the right?" Isabel spat the question. But the girl didn't answer, she only grabbed William's arm and pulled him away from the group to the opposite side of the room.
William stared at her in shock. He still felt the tears burning at the back of his eyes but the urgency to let them free was subsiding.
"Don't mind them, really they're spoiled rotten I'm afraid" the girl said, leaning slightly against the wall.
"Won't they shun you now? Should you really be talking to me?" William asked cautiously, still not sure what to think of this girl yet.
"Their feelings mend easily. Even if they don't wish to talk to me anymore I won't be missing wonderful company" the girl smiled a pretty smile and stretched out her gloved hand. William realized when he saw the huge stone on one of her fingers just how rich she must have been. No wonder there would be no hard feelings. "I'm Elizabeth but most just call me Beth. And who are you I wonder?" she asked in a friendly voice.
William nervously stuck his hand into hers and marveled at how warm and soft it felt, even under the lace glove. "I'm William. It's a pleasure to meet you."
****
Sunnydale- present
Spike dropped the stake and dusted the remains of the vampires off his jacket. He didn't understand what had made him think of that. His first love and his first friendship all in one night. He didn't think he would ever forget the way she had stood up for him that night, put her own status on the line to help out a complete stranger.
Spike began to walk in the direction of the magic shop, having no idea what he would say once he got there. He wondered if Buffy would be there, what she would say to him. Could he just go in there and say he was sorry? Would that make Buffy happy or would it just make her mad? Spike was so bad at these things that it made him nervous thinking about it. Spike couldn't remember the last time he was nervous. Well yes, maybe he could.
****
1879
"Cecily? You certainly know how to pick them William!" Beth exclaimed as they walked arm in arm through the park. William had grown very attached to Beth in the years that had followed their first meeting. It seemed like she was the only one he could bare his soul to without feeling like a fool. But suddenly he did feel very foolish in disclosing his latest and greatest love, Cecily.
"There is certainly nothing wrong with Cecily!" William exclaimed looking over at Beth nervously. It seemed an unfortunate curse that the girl always told what was on her mind. This made people talk about her in whispers, mostly speculations on the relationship between her and William and what her father would do if he ever found out. Her father didn't seem to care much for the friendship but didn't stop it either. It seemed he was fine with the situation as long as William never came calling on his daughter or asked for her hand in marriage.
"She makes herself out to look like some kind of delicate flower but you should hear the way she gossips about others. She's about as delicate as my father's stallion!" Beth explained to a shocked William.
"She is delicate Beth" William tried to protest but Beth cut him off.
"She always thinks that she is far better than everyone else. Sometimes she even says so to her close little pack of rats that are always flocking to her sides" Beth continued in a lowered voice. William of course didn't believe a word of what she said but gave her the benefit of listening to her. Cecily was the most beautiful, graceful, and kind human being on the face of the earth and there was no way that anyone could ever change his mind about that. "Are you even listening to me?" she snapped.
"Of course I am I just don't believe a word your saying" William said, trying his best to put on a superior air. He passed her over his poetry book and began looking around the park at the happy couples talking and sitting about. He felt a small tingle of envy that he couldn't be where they were with Cecily.
"Well aren't we Mr. high and mighty?" she muttered staring down at the book and beginning to read his newest creation. She cringed inwardly, William wasn't a bad poet, but he certainly wasn't award-winning and knowing the poem was about Cecily really changed her point of view on the whole thing.
"Put that away" William hissed under his breath. Beth looked up in surprise and found the reason he had spoken immediately. Cecily was walking with a man and a few of her higher placed friends, and she was coming in their direction. Beth handed the little book back to William and he shoved it into his pocket.
Cecily noticed Beth as soon as she was within the range of vision and began quickly walking over, waving all the way.
"Seems pleasant enough to me" William muttered to Beth but she ignored him, pasting a phony smile on her face.
"Cecily! What a pleasure it is to see you taking a stroll at the same time as me. We should really get together more, to catch up" Beth said, slipping her arm from William's and gripping the hands Cecily had outstretched.
Cecily smiled her warm, kind smile and nodded her head. "We really must Elizabeth dear, there are so many things I want to ask you but I'm afraid I'm with some of my friends and we have to depart at once. Send a message to my house and we'll arrange lunch" Cecily said with a smile. She didn't once seem to notice William until near the end of the conversation. "Who is this I wonder?" she asked looking over at William.
Before William could open his mouth to stutter out some form of his name Beth was already telling Cecily all about him, highlighting all the good qualities. Moments later Cecily walked back over to her group and the two sets of people went different ways.
"Thanks for that" William said nervously. He wondered if Cecily had been at all interested or if she was just trying to seem that way to be polite.
"Welcome. Send a message to her to arrange lunch? Not a chance in-" Beth began but William interrupted her quickly.
"It's not becoming of ladies to say such things Beth," he said, feeling suddenly out of place. Beth sighed and slipped her arm back into William's but all he could think about was Cecily.
****
Present
Spike stood outside of the Magic Box, wondering if he should go in or not. What would he even say once he got in? He knew he couldn't avoid Buffy forever though, it just hurt too much. Spike pushed open the door and strode into the store, suddenly his usually self.
Giles looked up from doing inventory on the bookshelves and almost dropped one of the thick volumes on his toe. He was fairly sure he had warned Spike about coming here but obviously it hadn't stuck in his thick bleached head. Giles replaced the books quickly and put his list behind the counter, coming out to face Spike. He was the last person Giles wanted to see at the moment. In two days he would be attending Joyce's funeral and Buffy needed him. But what Buffy didn't need was this, Spike.
"What are you doing here?" Giles asked venomously, glaring at Spike. Spike knew he should have excepted as much but the hostility still felt like a bit of a shock.
"Browsing" Spike stated sarcastically.
Spike noticed the Scoobys coming out of the back room but was disappointed when he noticed that Buffy wasn't back there. However, it seemed they noticed him quickly and hurried over to stand beside Giles. Everyone now glared at Spike, even red. He couldn't get a break.
"I thought I made it quite clear that you were not to come into this store anymore" Giles snipped taking a step towards Spike. Spike was in disbelief for a second that Giles was actually trying to threaten him. It seemed almost sad.
"Sodd off Watcher I just wanted to see Buffy is all" Spike said, peering around Giles even though he was sure Buffy wasn't there.
"Yes well I doubt you are the person that Buffy needs to see right now" Giles said angrily.
Willow nodded and looked down sadly. "I don't know if you know or not but she's going through some really hard stuff right now and you might not be her first choice of people to see" Willow said looking up. It seemed that at least she wasn't all that mad at him anymore, more sad now really.
"Actually if any of you silly bints would give me a chance to talk I was going to say that I wanted to talk to her about that. About her mum I mean" Spike added uncertainly.
Silence fell upon the room for a moment and all eyes were on him, pined to him disbelieving.
"What gives you the nerve?" Giles began but Xander cut him off.
"Maybe you should go see Buffy. Maybe she'll finally stake your ass and we won't have to deal with you anymore" Xander said in a nasty voice. Anya nodded to emphasis what her boyfriend had said.
"Fine then I'm bloody out of here" Spike replied angrily, walking to the front of the shop. He turned around and saw that the Scoobys still stood rooted to the place, staring coldly at him, waiting for him to leave. And he did. He pushed opened the door and walked out of the shop, knowing where he was headed to next but still unsure of what he was going to say.
On the way over his mind wandered back to another time he had walked away.
****
1898
Spike held his arm around Drusilla's waist as a wind swept up over the streets of London and blew her hair every which way. It gently picked up her heavy black satin skirt and moved it slightly. Spike and Dru had been out most of the night but he had never found anything that seemed fun. One drunk from a bar had attacked him and met with a grim fate but even that didn't get his blood pumping. He wanted action and excitement, the trill of the chase, the intoxicating feeling of fear. It seemed harder to find now, especially when he went out looking for it.
Drusilla swayed in the breeze like one of the branches on a nearby tree and began humming a nursery rhyme. Spike let go of her waist to watch as she spun and swayed merrily, humming all the while. He tried to think of some place they hadn't tried before, some place that wouldn't draw to much attention to them but would still be interesting. If only Angelus and Darla weren't so cautious then he could go wherever he wanted to, have whatever fun he wished. Unfortunately it wasn't like that and, like it or not, both Angelus and Darla seemed to be stronger than him.
Darla and her view, Spike thought spitefully as he watched Drusilla dance. He couldn't believe that they were vampires and they were still playing it safe like some sort of cowardly human. Spike had tried to explain it many times to Angelus but he didn't listen to Spike anymore than he listened to Dru's ramblings.
"Coming closer, closer, closer. Pretty, pretties coming closer" Drusilla giggled walking over to Spike and leaning her head on his shoulder. Spike pet her dark hair and looked around for what she had been talking about. As expected a few moments later a couple walked out of an alleyway and into the dimly lit grimy court. There was something different about this couple, however, then the ones that usually came around here. They were from money and quite a bit of it judging from their dress. Angelus always told him to stay away from the rich; too many questions were raised when they died. Still, Spike was getting tried of feeding on the gutter trash; it was time he got some blue blood for him and his girl.
"Come on sweets, we're going to have a quality meal tonight" Spike said. Drusilla clapped happily and Spike took her hand and led her over to their victims.
The man took out a large, heavy stick of some kind and held it in front of him for protection. This could get interesting, Spike thought with a smile.
"Come any closer and I'll attack!" the man yelled in fear as his stick wobbled about madly. Spike almost laughed at how pathetic he looked and Drusilla did, a tiny tinkling laugh. The woman, however, seemed to be fairly calm if not agitated looking. She let out a loud sigh and grabbed the stick from her husband's hand.
"Dan you've been saying that to everyone we come across, now would you stop it?" she asked angrily. She then turned towards Spike and Drusilla and smiled slightly. "I'm very sorry about that. We seem to be lost, could you give us directions?" the woman asked.
Drusilla laughed and put her arms around Spike's neck. "Give them directions Spike" she said happily. Spike grinned and began walking towards the couple, not sure yet exactly how he was going to have fun with them.
"Did I ask you to speak?" the husband said suddenly, grabbing the stick from the woman's hands and raising it as if to beat her with it.
"Bad man" Drusilla cooed as Spike jumped in quickly before he could bring the stick down. He grabbed the man's wrist and squeezed it until he heard a satisfying crunch. The man cried out in pain and begged for his life but Spike only smiled, the fear was electrifying. His face turned into its vampiric form and sank his fangs down into the man's throat, drinking his blood. He cried out it pain for a few seconds then went limp. "Bad man, gone away," Drusilla said happily as Spike handed the man over to her to feed from.
He then turned his attention to the woman, who stood there to shocked to run. He shook his head out of his bumpy forehead form and smiled evilly at the woman, taking one step forward. There was blood covering his mouth and a small bit had trickled down his chin.
"You should thank me for saving you" Spike stated taking another step forward, she took a step back. Suddenly she squinted at Spike in the badly lit court and let out one word that froze him to the spot.
"William?"
Spike now looked more carefully at the woman, at her long blonde hair and startling blue eyes. She looked as if the years hadn't been very kind to her; there was a dark bruise on her cheek where her husband had probably hit her. But still she was as beautiful as when they used to be friends. Such a very long time ago.
"William what are you doing out here? What was that all about?" Beth asked, sounding puzzled and afraid all at the same time. Spike opened his mouth to answer when suddenly Drusilla weaved back up to Spike and stared at Beth.
"She's very pretty, can I have her?" Drusilla asked, walking over to Beth and petting her cheek and hair. Beth recoiled at the touch, eyes wide with fright as she stared at Spike for an answer. "I'll be good Spike please?" Drusilla begged, drawing blood from Beth's cheek with a nail.
"Spike? When did-" Beth began to ask but Drusilla wheeled away from Beth and began swaying close to Spike.
"Little children, taunting and teasing all in rows. A golden protector comes to save you. Is she more important to you than me?" asked a hurt Drusilla, her dark eyes fastening on Spike.
"Of course not love. Why don't we go and get you some other food, you look a little hungry" Spike pressed, hurrying Drusilla away from his once friend.
The shock began to wear off Beth and she hurried to the opening of the ally where Spike and Dru had disappeared. "We'll meet again someday William, somewhere, some way. So I'll see you then!" she called down the alley, tears running freely down her cheeks. She didn't know exactly what William had become, only that it was something bad, something evil. But he was still in there somewhere, that she could tell. "I'll see you" she whispered into the darkness of the silent night.
****
Present
Finally Spike stood in front of Buffy's house, on her doorstep, wondering what to do. He could always just turn around and walk away. It was a possibility, though Spike had already ruled it out. He stared into the dark windows and wondered if he'd wake her up or if she was already awake. Maybe she was just staring at the ceiling of her bedroom like he had been doing earlier that night.
Spike shook his head to clear out the mist of memories and rung the doorbell. He could hear the sound of it inside the house, echoing through the emptiness. It was odd to think of this house only holding Buffy and Dawn now, without their mother.
On the second floor a light went on and moments later most of the house was lit by the glow of lamps. Spike knew he should have practiced what to say, this way he could just blurt it out at Buffy and be on his merry way but he had no idea what to tell her. He had no idea about anything anymore.
Slowly the door opened and revealed Buffy in a short gray tank top and sweat pants. Her hair was messy from tossing and turning and her eyes had dark circles around them. Spike was surprised to see Buffy like this but didn't let on, he leaned against the doorframe instead and waited for her to say something, or at least try to close the door on him. It felt like an eternity as Buffy stared at him, finally she spoke up.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, not angry really just wondering.
"Well I heard about your-um- your mum" Spike muttered drawing in a breath. Buffy's eyes opened in shock but she said nothing, instead staring at him, waiting for him to continue. "I just wanted to say that, well I'm not really good at this you know?" Spike asked looking over at Buffy. She nodded. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry, and that I really liked her. She was a good person and she shouldn't have-" Spike stopped awkwardly, not knowing how to continue.
Buffy nodded again, "Thanks." She said it almost without emotion and Spike began to get worried. He wanted to say something to make her feel better, anything at all. Suddenly the words of his friend so long ago came back to him. "We'll meet again someday William, somewhere, someway. So I'll see you then!"
Spike cleared his throat and went on. "A long time ago a friend of mine and I said goodbye to each other and we knew we'd never see each other again. She said that she'd meet me again someday, she didn't say goodbye," Spike paused, "she said I'll see you soon."
Buffy stared at Spike as if she didn't comprehend everything that he had said, and she didn't at first. Slowly the words seeped into Buffy's head, getting past that barrier she had set up for herself to stop her from breaking down, to keep her strong. Tears began to prick at the corners of Buffy's eyes and soon she was sobbing. Buffy ran out to Spike and threw her arms around him, her body racked with sobs.
Spike put his arms slowly around Buffy and held her to him. This was a dream, it had to be. But it seemed all too real, the feel of Buffy's shaking body, the smell of her hair. They were all too real to be a dream. Spike stared down at the top of Buffy's head and she lifted it up so that she was face to face with him. They were so close their noses were almost touching. Buffy backed up a step and Spike released her from their hug. At least it had been real, if only for a minute.
Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes with the heels of her hands and looked at Spike, smiling shakily. "Wanna come in?"
****
end
Distribution: Ohhh please! Take it just let me know. ^_^
Author: MinnieMay
Notes: Well this is a little jab at Spikey's past. Inspired by Fool for Love (of course). I'm not to sure about all of the dates but I'm pretty sure they all fit alright. Bare in mind this was written very late at night. ^_^ READ AND REVIEW!
See You Soon
Spike stared at the ceiling. Boredom. He didn't need a clock to figure out that he had been in the same position for about an hour. He had been thinking about a lot of things, about everything really. He had been brooding. When had he turned into Angel?
With that thought Spike leapt up from the chair as if his bum was on fire. There was no way he would let himself fall to that level of pathetic. Ok, he was possibly past that level but he would never admit that to himself. He decided to go outside and prowl around, see if there were any vamps he could start a fight with, something to get his mind off of things for a few minutes.
The air was cool against his cold skin as he walked out into the night. What would he say to Buffy the next time he saw her? He knew he was low on her list of people to see at the moment but he was sure that he would bump into her, whether she liked it or not. Then what would he say? How could he say how sorry he was without sounding...what phony? Mocking?
No matter how much death Spike had seen, caused even, he couldn't get Joyce's death out of his mind. He didn't understand why she had died exactly when Buffy needed her the most. He still remembered when she had let him come in, sat him down at the counter with some hot chocolate and listened as he poured out his heart. As he told her about Dru and she tried to comfort him. He had never done anything nice for her, if anything his presence just complicated her daughter's life. But still she had listened with an open mind as Spike had told his story; she had tried to console him.
And now she was gone.
It was too sudden to think about and yet it was true. Even if he wanted too he couldn't have another cup of Swiss miss with Joyce and listen to her talk about the gallery or how she could never find someone. She would never comfort Buffy or Dawn. She was gone.
Spike shook his head as he noticed a pair of vampires talking and laughing further down in the graveyard. Joyce would never laugh again. He pulled the stake out of his pocket and began walking towards them. He needed to do something that didn't include thinking.
As Spike crept up behind the vampires, ready to strike he began to wonder. When had he started caring?
****
Sometime during the 1800's
A younger Spike, around nine or ten, stood against the wall during a party. He always hated when his parents were invited to one of these things. It was as if they invited his family just for sympathy. Helping the less fortunate. He would be so excited as he got into his best coat, feeling he would finally be part of high society. Always as soon as he got there he realized how poorly he had dressed, how nice all the other families and children looked. None of the other children his age even talked to him, they were off in another corner whispering by themselves.
That's when he noticed her, she must have walked into the party late for she hurried to the group as if she were breathless. She began talking at once, stealing glances all over the place and bending her head in lower to add something to the conversation. William's heart fluttered in place as he saw her, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her light brown hair was all pinned back into a tight bun except for two strands on either side of her head that were as curly as springs.
Without even realizing it he had taken out a pad and pencil and begun to write down words, trying to describe the beauty that he saw. He knew it was impossible that his words would give her any justice but he wanted to try to keep his first love alive in his mind.
He was so intent on writing that he didn't even notice the two boys that walked up behind him.
"What are you scribbling at there William?" one of the boys asked, startling him out of his trance. William tried desperately to cover the paper with one of his hands.
"Come on old chap show us what you've written" the other boy, the bigger one, said. He leaned over and took the tiny pad out of William's hand and flipped open to the page he had been writing on.
"What does it say? Oh do read it or I'll die of suspense!" the first boy said merrily prancing over to the boy with William's book. William could feel his face heat up and made a mad swipe for the book. The older boy held it out of his reach with a tut-tut.
"Let's see here; 'No more of a beauty I have ever seen, your eyes, your skin, they seem to gleam!" the boys both burst out laughing and William lowered his head in shame. "William, which one of the ladies have you so favored with your poetry?" the bigger boy asked, grinning wickedly. William didn't answer; he looked down at the floor instead wishing he could disappear into it.
"Hold on there's more!" said the young, skinny boy, standing on the tip of his toes to read the book where the bigger one held it. "Her light brown hair, alight with curls-" the little boy stopped reading and both looked at one another. "You think this means what I think it means John?" he asked mischievously.
"Sure does Thomas" the older boy said grabbing William by the elbow and forcing him through the crowd towards the jumble of children over on the other side of the room.
"Please no..." William said weakly, trying to break from John's iron tight grasp. John paid no attention to his pleas and instead pushed him into the group.
"Isabel!" he bellowed looking around and finally spotting the object of William's desires. She turned around and gave him a puzzled look, walking over with a few of her friends. William's heart skipped a beat and surely he thought he would drop dead on the spot.
"Why are you bellowing John? What is it you want?" Isabel asked looking at John and the downcast boy he had beside him. "And who is this?" she asked a little distastefully. God, they let anyone into the social gatherings now didn't they?
"This is William!" Thomas said with a smirk. "He's your admirer Isabel. Even wrote you a poem!"
Isabel's face crinkled in displeasure at the mention of his being her admirer. She didn't want anyone to know about this of course, it might start gossip. Thomas handed her the little book with the poetry in it and she read it with a sneer. As soon as she was done she pulled the page from the book and with her dainty gloved hands began to rip it to shreds.
"You digusting, pitiful creature! How dare you think you can write poetry about me and show it all around. How dare you disgrace me like that! You are a nothing and will always be one!" Isabel said angrily, letting the thorn strips of paper flutter to the ground like wounded birds.
William was bright red by this time, his face turned toward the ground so none of the children would be able to tell that he was on the verge of crying. He heard some of the other children put in cold remarks and soon it seemed that they had all surrounded him and were teasing him horribly. Suddenly a clear voice cut through the din.
"What on earth do you think your doing?" William looked up to locate the speaker and found her immediately. She was one of Isabel's friends, with straight blonde hair loose over her shoulders and blue eyes. She stared at the others in shock. "Why are you taunting this boy? How good of a poet are you? Probably not half as good as he. Why don't you all write a few verses and we'll see who gets to pick apart his writing" the girl said staring at each in turn out of proud blue eyes. "And you Isabel, I thought you would be kinder. If I were you I would be happy that you had an admirer that wasn't just after your father's riches!"
Isabel's face turned a bright shade of angry red as she stared at the girl that used to be her friend. "How could you say that? What gives you the right?" Isabel spat the question. But the girl didn't answer, she only grabbed William's arm and pulled him away from the group to the opposite side of the room.
William stared at her in shock. He still felt the tears burning at the back of his eyes but the urgency to let them free was subsiding.
"Don't mind them, really they're spoiled rotten I'm afraid" the girl said, leaning slightly against the wall.
"Won't they shun you now? Should you really be talking to me?" William asked cautiously, still not sure what to think of this girl yet.
"Their feelings mend easily. Even if they don't wish to talk to me anymore I won't be missing wonderful company" the girl smiled a pretty smile and stretched out her gloved hand. William realized when he saw the huge stone on one of her fingers just how rich she must have been. No wonder there would be no hard feelings. "I'm Elizabeth but most just call me Beth. And who are you I wonder?" she asked in a friendly voice.
William nervously stuck his hand into hers and marveled at how warm and soft it felt, even under the lace glove. "I'm William. It's a pleasure to meet you."
****
Sunnydale- present
Spike dropped the stake and dusted the remains of the vampires off his jacket. He didn't understand what had made him think of that. His first love and his first friendship all in one night. He didn't think he would ever forget the way she had stood up for him that night, put her own status on the line to help out a complete stranger.
Spike began to walk in the direction of the magic shop, having no idea what he would say once he got there. He wondered if Buffy would be there, what she would say to him. Could he just go in there and say he was sorry? Would that make Buffy happy or would it just make her mad? Spike was so bad at these things that it made him nervous thinking about it. Spike couldn't remember the last time he was nervous. Well yes, maybe he could.
****
1879
"Cecily? You certainly know how to pick them William!" Beth exclaimed as they walked arm in arm through the park. William had grown very attached to Beth in the years that had followed their first meeting. It seemed like she was the only one he could bare his soul to without feeling like a fool. But suddenly he did feel very foolish in disclosing his latest and greatest love, Cecily.
"There is certainly nothing wrong with Cecily!" William exclaimed looking over at Beth nervously. It seemed an unfortunate curse that the girl always told what was on her mind. This made people talk about her in whispers, mostly speculations on the relationship between her and William and what her father would do if he ever found out. Her father didn't seem to care much for the friendship but didn't stop it either. It seemed he was fine with the situation as long as William never came calling on his daughter or asked for her hand in marriage.
"She makes herself out to look like some kind of delicate flower but you should hear the way she gossips about others. She's about as delicate as my father's stallion!" Beth explained to a shocked William.
"She is delicate Beth" William tried to protest but Beth cut him off.
"She always thinks that she is far better than everyone else. Sometimes she even says so to her close little pack of rats that are always flocking to her sides" Beth continued in a lowered voice. William of course didn't believe a word of what she said but gave her the benefit of listening to her. Cecily was the most beautiful, graceful, and kind human being on the face of the earth and there was no way that anyone could ever change his mind about that. "Are you even listening to me?" she snapped.
"Of course I am I just don't believe a word your saying" William said, trying his best to put on a superior air. He passed her over his poetry book and began looking around the park at the happy couples talking and sitting about. He felt a small tingle of envy that he couldn't be where they were with Cecily.
"Well aren't we Mr. high and mighty?" she muttered staring down at the book and beginning to read his newest creation. She cringed inwardly, William wasn't a bad poet, but he certainly wasn't award-winning and knowing the poem was about Cecily really changed her point of view on the whole thing.
"Put that away" William hissed under his breath. Beth looked up in surprise and found the reason he had spoken immediately. Cecily was walking with a man and a few of her higher placed friends, and she was coming in their direction. Beth handed the little book back to William and he shoved it into his pocket.
Cecily noticed Beth as soon as she was within the range of vision and began quickly walking over, waving all the way.
"Seems pleasant enough to me" William muttered to Beth but she ignored him, pasting a phony smile on her face.
"Cecily! What a pleasure it is to see you taking a stroll at the same time as me. We should really get together more, to catch up" Beth said, slipping her arm from William's and gripping the hands Cecily had outstretched.
Cecily smiled her warm, kind smile and nodded her head. "We really must Elizabeth dear, there are so many things I want to ask you but I'm afraid I'm with some of my friends and we have to depart at once. Send a message to my house and we'll arrange lunch" Cecily said with a smile. She didn't once seem to notice William until near the end of the conversation. "Who is this I wonder?" she asked looking over at William.
Before William could open his mouth to stutter out some form of his name Beth was already telling Cecily all about him, highlighting all the good qualities. Moments later Cecily walked back over to her group and the two sets of people went different ways.
"Thanks for that" William said nervously. He wondered if Cecily had been at all interested or if she was just trying to seem that way to be polite.
"Welcome. Send a message to her to arrange lunch? Not a chance in-" Beth began but William interrupted her quickly.
"It's not becoming of ladies to say such things Beth," he said, feeling suddenly out of place. Beth sighed and slipped her arm back into William's but all he could think about was Cecily.
****
Present
Spike stood outside of the Magic Box, wondering if he should go in or not. What would he even say once he got in? He knew he couldn't avoid Buffy forever though, it just hurt too much. Spike pushed open the door and strode into the store, suddenly his usually self.
Giles looked up from doing inventory on the bookshelves and almost dropped one of the thick volumes on his toe. He was fairly sure he had warned Spike about coming here but obviously it hadn't stuck in his thick bleached head. Giles replaced the books quickly and put his list behind the counter, coming out to face Spike. He was the last person Giles wanted to see at the moment. In two days he would be attending Joyce's funeral and Buffy needed him. But what Buffy didn't need was this, Spike.
"What are you doing here?" Giles asked venomously, glaring at Spike. Spike knew he should have excepted as much but the hostility still felt like a bit of a shock.
"Browsing" Spike stated sarcastically.
Spike noticed the Scoobys coming out of the back room but was disappointed when he noticed that Buffy wasn't back there. However, it seemed they noticed him quickly and hurried over to stand beside Giles. Everyone now glared at Spike, even red. He couldn't get a break.
"I thought I made it quite clear that you were not to come into this store anymore" Giles snipped taking a step towards Spike. Spike was in disbelief for a second that Giles was actually trying to threaten him. It seemed almost sad.
"Sodd off Watcher I just wanted to see Buffy is all" Spike said, peering around Giles even though he was sure Buffy wasn't there.
"Yes well I doubt you are the person that Buffy needs to see right now" Giles said angrily.
Willow nodded and looked down sadly. "I don't know if you know or not but she's going through some really hard stuff right now and you might not be her first choice of people to see" Willow said looking up. It seemed that at least she wasn't all that mad at him anymore, more sad now really.
"Actually if any of you silly bints would give me a chance to talk I was going to say that I wanted to talk to her about that. About her mum I mean" Spike added uncertainly.
Silence fell upon the room for a moment and all eyes were on him, pined to him disbelieving.
"What gives you the nerve?" Giles began but Xander cut him off.
"Maybe you should go see Buffy. Maybe she'll finally stake your ass and we won't have to deal with you anymore" Xander said in a nasty voice. Anya nodded to emphasis what her boyfriend had said.
"Fine then I'm bloody out of here" Spike replied angrily, walking to the front of the shop. He turned around and saw that the Scoobys still stood rooted to the place, staring coldly at him, waiting for him to leave. And he did. He pushed opened the door and walked out of the shop, knowing where he was headed to next but still unsure of what he was going to say.
On the way over his mind wandered back to another time he had walked away.
****
1898
Spike held his arm around Drusilla's waist as a wind swept up over the streets of London and blew her hair every which way. It gently picked up her heavy black satin skirt and moved it slightly. Spike and Dru had been out most of the night but he had never found anything that seemed fun. One drunk from a bar had attacked him and met with a grim fate but even that didn't get his blood pumping. He wanted action and excitement, the trill of the chase, the intoxicating feeling of fear. It seemed harder to find now, especially when he went out looking for it.
Drusilla swayed in the breeze like one of the branches on a nearby tree and began humming a nursery rhyme. Spike let go of her waist to watch as she spun and swayed merrily, humming all the while. He tried to think of some place they hadn't tried before, some place that wouldn't draw to much attention to them but would still be interesting. If only Angelus and Darla weren't so cautious then he could go wherever he wanted to, have whatever fun he wished. Unfortunately it wasn't like that and, like it or not, both Angelus and Darla seemed to be stronger than him.
Darla and her view, Spike thought spitefully as he watched Drusilla dance. He couldn't believe that they were vampires and they were still playing it safe like some sort of cowardly human. Spike had tried to explain it many times to Angelus but he didn't listen to Spike anymore than he listened to Dru's ramblings.
"Coming closer, closer, closer. Pretty, pretties coming closer" Drusilla giggled walking over to Spike and leaning her head on his shoulder. Spike pet her dark hair and looked around for what she had been talking about. As expected a few moments later a couple walked out of an alleyway and into the dimly lit grimy court. There was something different about this couple, however, then the ones that usually came around here. They were from money and quite a bit of it judging from their dress. Angelus always told him to stay away from the rich; too many questions were raised when they died. Still, Spike was getting tried of feeding on the gutter trash; it was time he got some blue blood for him and his girl.
"Come on sweets, we're going to have a quality meal tonight" Spike said. Drusilla clapped happily and Spike took her hand and led her over to their victims.
The man took out a large, heavy stick of some kind and held it in front of him for protection. This could get interesting, Spike thought with a smile.
"Come any closer and I'll attack!" the man yelled in fear as his stick wobbled about madly. Spike almost laughed at how pathetic he looked and Drusilla did, a tiny tinkling laugh. The woman, however, seemed to be fairly calm if not agitated looking. She let out a loud sigh and grabbed the stick from her husband's hand.
"Dan you've been saying that to everyone we come across, now would you stop it?" she asked angrily. She then turned towards Spike and Drusilla and smiled slightly. "I'm very sorry about that. We seem to be lost, could you give us directions?" the woman asked.
Drusilla laughed and put her arms around Spike's neck. "Give them directions Spike" she said happily. Spike grinned and began walking towards the couple, not sure yet exactly how he was going to have fun with them.
"Did I ask you to speak?" the husband said suddenly, grabbing the stick from the woman's hands and raising it as if to beat her with it.
"Bad man" Drusilla cooed as Spike jumped in quickly before he could bring the stick down. He grabbed the man's wrist and squeezed it until he heard a satisfying crunch. The man cried out in pain and begged for his life but Spike only smiled, the fear was electrifying. His face turned into its vampiric form and sank his fangs down into the man's throat, drinking his blood. He cried out it pain for a few seconds then went limp. "Bad man, gone away," Drusilla said happily as Spike handed the man over to her to feed from.
He then turned his attention to the woman, who stood there to shocked to run. He shook his head out of his bumpy forehead form and smiled evilly at the woman, taking one step forward. There was blood covering his mouth and a small bit had trickled down his chin.
"You should thank me for saving you" Spike stated taking another step forward, she took a step back. Suddenly she squinted at Spike in the badly lit court and let out one word that froze him to the spot.
"William?"
Spike now looked more carefully at the woman, at her long blonde hair and startling blue eyes. She looked as if the years hadn't been very kind to her; there was a dark bruise on her cheek where her husband had probably hit her. But still she was as beautiful as when they used to be friends. Such a very long time ago.
"William what are you doing out here? What was that all about?" Beth asked, sounding puzzled and afraid all at the same time. Spike opened his mouth to answer when suddenly Drusilla weaved back up to Spike and stared at Beth.
"She's very pretty, can I have her?" Drusilla asked, walking over to Beth and petting her cheek and hair. Beth recoiled at the touch, eyes wide with fright as she stared at Spike for an answer. "I'll be good Spike please?" Drusilla begged, drawing blood from Beth's cheek with a nail.
"Spike? When did-" Beth began to ask but Drusilla wheeled away from Beth and began swaying close to Spike.
"Little children, taunting and teasing all in rows. A golden protector comes to save you. Is she more important to you than me?" asked a hurt Drusilla, her dark eyes fastening on Spike.
"Of course not love. Why don't we go and get you some other food, you look a little hungry" Spike pressed, hurrying Drusilla away from his once friend.
The shock began to wear off Beth and she hurried to the opening of the ally where Spike and Dru had disappeared. "We'll meet again someday William, somewhere, some way. So I'll see you then!" she called down the alley, tears running freely down her cheeks. She didn't know exactly what William had become, only that it was something bad, something evil. But he was still in there somewhere, that she could tell. "I'll see you" she whispered into the darkness of the silent night.
****
Present
Finally Spike stood in front of Buffy's house, on her doorstep, wondering what to do. He could always just turn around and walk away. It was a possibility, though Spike had already ruled it out. He stared into the dark windows and wondered if he'd wake her up or if she was already awake. Maybe she was just staring at the ceiling of her bedroom like he had been doing earlier that night.
Spike shook his head to clear out the mist of memories and rung the doorbell. He could hear the sound of it inside the house, echoing through the emptiness. It was odd to think of this house only holding Buffy and Dawn now, without their mother.
On the second floor a light went on and moments later most of the house was lit by the glow of lamps. Spike knew he should have practiced what to say, this way he could just blurt it out at Buffy and be on his merry way but he had no idea what to tell her. He had no idea about anything anymore.
Slowly the door opened and revealed Buffy in a short gray tank top and sweat pants. Her hair was messy from tossing and turning and her eyes had dark circles around them. Spike was surprised to see Buffy like this but didn't let on, he leaned against the doorframe instead and waited for her to say something, or at least try to close the door on him. It felt like an eternity as Buffy stared at him, finally she spoke up.
"What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, not angry really just wondering.
"Well I heard about your-um- your mum" Spike muttered drawing in a breath. Buffy's eyes opened in shock but she said nothing, instead staring at him, waiting for him to continue. "I just wanted to say that, well I'm not really good at this you know?" Spike asked looking over at Buffy. She nodded. "I just wanted to say that I was sorry, and that I really liked her. She was a good person and she shouldn't have-" Spike stopped awkwardly, not knowing how to continue.
Buffy nodded again, "Thanks." She said it almost without emotion and Spike began to get worried. He wanted to say something to make her feel better, anything at all. Suddenly the words of his friend so long ago came back to him. "We'll meet again someday William, somewhere, someway. So I'll see you then!"
Spike cleared his throat and went on. "A long time ago a friend of mine and I said goodbye to each other and we knew we'd never see each other again. She said that she'd meet me again someday, she didn't say goodbye," Spike paused, "she said I'll see you soon."
Buffy stared at Spike as if she didn't comprehend everything that he had said, and she didn't at first. Slowly the words seeped into Buffy's head, getting past that barrier she had set up for herself to stop her from breaking down, to keep her strong. Tears began to prick at the corners of Buffy's eyes and soon she was sobbing. Buffy ran out to Spike and threw her arms around him, her body racked with sobs.
Spike put his arms slowly around Buffy and held her to him. This was a dream, it had to be. But it seemed all too real, the feel of Buffy's shaking body, the smell of her hair. They were all too real to be a dream. Spike stared down at the top of Buffy's head and she lifted it up so that she was face to face with him. They were so close their noses were almost touching. Buffy backed up a step and Spike released her from their hug. At least it had been real, if only for a minute.
Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes with the heels of her hands and looked at Spike, smiling shakily. "Wanna come in?"
****
end