Hello everyone! I am starting a new story as you can tell, but I want you all to know that I am still going to update my other stories "All She Wanted" and "Meet Me in the Dark", I just needed to get this one out of my head.
WARNING: This story involves a lot of suggested molestation. If that is not something you care to read then I urge you not to do so.
Note: I do not condone the actions of Orochimaru in this fanfiction and I never have or will. They are illegal and I am well aware of that. Trust me.
Breaking Sasuke
Coming to Orochimaru for power had not ended up the way Sasuke had hoped for. It was true that he was being trained intensively, just as he had asked, and each day brought more bone crushing exertions and the new found strength gathered from his trials. If one were to ask about his training, it could be said that it was everything he had wished for and more. The knowledge and abilities given to him were more than he had thought he could accomplish, and just as he would think he had mastered one new technique another was yet to be learned. It would seem that Orochimaru was a bountiful and endless source of new jutsus and taijutsus, more than willing to give them all to Sasuke. The young twelve year old ninja had found a place to retrieve all the power he could need to at last attain revenge against his elder sibling, and that thought alone should have been enough to make him exuberant—yet it did not. Because, he had come to painfully realize that something new could not be gained without something else of value being taken. Such was just the way of life, and as unfair as it seemed it was unavoidable. It was an equal exchange…right?
What could be the price of a lifelong knowledge of powerful jutsus?
Sasuke had known and willingly accepted that in the end he was agreeing to let Orochimaru have his body once he had killed his family's murderer. What he did not anticipate was that in saying yes to these binding conditions, he had also given his body to Orochimaru in another sense, one that was just as impure as the snake man himself. The Uchiha was just a young shinobi still, who had yet to have many life experiences, having trouble even understanding himself let alone others around him. So, how could he have known what that simple "yes" was agreeing to?
The truth of that agreement was made painfully known to Sasuke however, as his innocence was tarnished in a way that was incomprehensible to the young Uchiha. His mind had rejected it as strongly as he had struggled, but no matter how strong he thought he was becoming, he could not overpower the Sanin's attack on him. What as he suppose to do?
Sasuke had defiantly fought the assault on his naive being with everything he had, his trembling hands forming a fist in attempts to punch the snake man and get himself away from his offender. Sasuke's hand connected with the face of his mentor, sending Orochimaru back only a step if that. The young ninja then pulled away and jerked himself out of the reach of the cold handed touch of his new teacher. However, his actions to put distance between himself and the Sanin were angrily awarded with a harsh backhand, sending him tumbling across the stone floor until he agonizingly slammed to a stop against the concrete wall of his little cell-like room. Sasuke pulled himself from the floor and into a fighting stance with his damaged body wavering slightly, but he held his ground. He did not understand what was happening or why his teacher was doing those things to him, but it did not feel right. His stomach twisted in disgust at the actions of his mentor, and that was enough to tell Sasuke that whatever it was that Orochimaru wanted was not right.
The smirk that had appeared on the snake man's face sent shivers of fear and anger down the young Uchiha's spine, rattling his already shaking form. The small distance between the sadistic Sanin and Sasuke was closed in an instant as Orochimaru moved in a blink to stand directly in front of the now stunned boy, the gust of wind created by this action breezing over Sasuke's body. Sasuke couldn't help the gasp that escaped his pale lips as he stared in awe of the older ninja's speed.
"Now, now Sasuke-kun, it isn't very nice to hit your teacher is it?" The snake man had hissed as he brought his lips to Sasuke's ear. "After all I've done for you, this is how you show you gratitude?" He sighed in mock hurt and shock, the noticeable sick tint of venom dripping off each and every syllable he spoke.
Sasuke tried again to pull away from the close proximity that his mentor held to him, not liking the sickening feeling that it gave him. However his movements were once again met by an obstacle as he realized that no matter how hard he pulled at his body he could not manage to gain any precious inches of distance. Sasuke frantically looked down to his body only to see that he was being held in place by a tangle of hissing snake that had been summoned to constrict any further progression in his plan of evading the attack on his young body.
The sickening smile plastered on the malicious face of his sensei grew as the man pressed closer still, violating Sasuke personal space completely. The sound of his deranged laughter quietly filled the small space as the snake man brought his cold hand down to caress Sasuke's face and then trail its way slowly downward, the descent of his touch making Sasuke's skin crawl. Then, the young Uchiha's heart nearly stopped as the revolting touch came to rest in a place Sasuke knew no one should have touched. He could not help the hot tears that pricked at his dark eyes. All of the anger and disgust he felt now mixing with his overwhelming fear, the combined liquid emotions built up until the desperate dams of his mind came crashing down. The hot tears streaked their way down his frightened face as he averted his eyes to look anywhere but at the man in front of him. Sasuke had not felt fear like this since the night of the Uchiha clan massacre and his the walls he had built up for himself after that time were now crumbling down into a pile of rubble, leaving him as weak and scared as he had been as a small boy. He hated it more than anything; the humiliation of crying filled his now open heart with the shame of his weakness.
"Orochimaru, stop… please." He knew of nothing else he could do in this situation, so in humiliation…he begged. Sasuke's thoughts filled with disgust as he listened to the words he pled, his stomach twisting at the pitiful plea he made.
What else could he do though? He was bound in place and he knew that any attempts to escape now would be totally and utterly fruitless.
"Well now Sasuke-kun, now there's how you show your master respect. I appreciate the manners, really I do, but unfortunately for you…I cannot abide to your wishes."The snake hissed out, his chilling voice holding a mock schooling tone, as if he was explaining something to a child. "You see, you gave me your body, boy, and by all means I intend to collect on that agreement."Another sickening chuckle left the lips of the disturbed Sanin.
Sasuke let more heated tears fall from his shame filled eyes as he turned his head away from his sensei. He knew nothing that could help him at this point. Yelling for help would be pointless, seeing as screams were a constant in this horrid place and no one would think twice if the young ninja was to call out. He could not fight, he could not reason and for certain he could not escape the assault on his innocence. All he could do now…was cry.
The night of horrors continued for Sasuke as Orochimaru proceeded to do as he wish while Sasuke sat helplessly in the den of the sadistic snake, his fragile mind shattering more with each touch. The minutes seemed to pass like hours for the young ninja and he begged to whatever greater being might be listening that he could just die and be free of this hell, but none of his hopeless pleas were heard and the night continued at its agonizing pace. Sasuke's gaze had seemed to be permanently glassed over with the hot tears that fell from his eyes, the pain and shame he felt dripping to the floor beneath him. The broken young ninja cursed at himself internally, hating the weakness he could not outrun. It gripped at his very being and enclosed him in the fear of every moment that passed by, swallowing him entirely. His innocent mind struggled to understand what it was that his mentor was doing to him, his thoughts straining to make sense of why this was happening. Had he done something to deserve this? Was this something normal that was supposed to happen between student and teacher? Honestly, he didn't know, but the feeling in the pit of his sickened stomach told him that this was not normal and that this—whatever it maybe—was completely and in every respect wrong.
Sasuke was not a stupid kid, and he knew about the things that adults did. He had never really wanted to put much thought into it though, finding the subject somewhat awkward to think about. The young shinobi understood perfectly well what it was, after all the health class he had been forced to take had made certain that the students understood the reproductive processes. Even though what Orochimaru was doing was not quite what he had studied, Sasuke knew that in some way there were related. He had researched the subject outside of class, wanting to make sure he knew it all before any pop- quizzes were to be dropped on the students laps, and in his studies he had learned a little bit more about not only the physical actions but also the psychological mindset during those awkward times. The hormones that caused the human body to crave those things were among the many articles he had read—teen health websites turned out to be a lot more discomforting than he had imagined, as the information he read only made him more ill at ease. In his opinion, at least at the time being was that it was completely gross. Sasuke had quite regretted reading any of it the moment his eyes had left the screen of the old library computer, wishing that he could forget all the info he had acquired there. However now that he thought about it, he was thankful to have read it, seeing as it was at least a little help into understanding why his teacher had touched him the way he had. It was all linked to his hormones—or cravings because of those hormones—and Sasuke knew that Orochimaru was what one would call aroused. What Sasuke did not know however, was why on earth Orochimaru would feel that toward a twelve year old, and a boy at that! While the young ninja had pieced some of the frightening puzzle pieces together, he still could not grasp what it was that would make the man want to hurt him. Maybe this was a punishment for performing poorly in training earlier?
The young ninja's eyes once again dripped his terrified and confused tears onto the stone floor below him, his gaze still averted from the snake man before him. What had he done that deserved this?
Sasuke's now deadened stare finally lifted from the ground to look up as his mentor let out a merciless chuckle while at last stepping away from Sasuke's violated and trembling body. The coldness of the air breezing over the younger ninja's small form as the heat of Orochimaru's body left him. The snakes that had held the young shinobi in place loosened their binding hold on him, letting his quaking frame crumble to the stone beneath him. He shook with tears as he lay there on the cold ground, wishing that if he lay there long enough he might just die and be rid of the shameful confusion and fear that rocked his inner self. The broken Uchiha could not bring himself to stand and face the man of his now never ending nightmare, his damaged spirit no longer strong enough to hold his ground and fight back. This one night had proven to destroy him to the extent of no repair, and the worst part was that it could only get worse. After all, something that cannot be fixed can only shatter further…like glass. Sasuke knew there was no going back from this place, that had been his plan, but now he wished more than ever that there could be an escape route from hell. He was trapped, and he would only be crushed further until there was not even dust left of his once shining and determined spirit.
"Well Sasuke-kun, I hope you enjoyed our little training session…" The putrid snake man hissed in satisfaction. "…I know I did. And, from your delicious body's response, I would say you did too." He mocked, another sickening laugh slipping past his cold lips which had formed a grin so sinister it could put the devil sneer to shame.
Sasuke turned his face further away in shame, his stomach twisting in utter disgust and embarrassment of the involuntary reaction he had displayed. He couldn't help it, even if he did not want the feelings that Orochimaru had created, his bodily functions could not be stopped. All the same, the action now cause Sasuke's already shattered being to fracture into even smaller pieces of the ever more complex puzzle. He doubted that the pieces to his own self would ever be found.
"Oh Sasuke, don't be shy," The older man smiled again, "It's not a bad thing…"
"Just…go…p—please." Sasuke's shaking voice begged, not willing to listen to Orochimaru taunt him any further.
"Hm, fine." Orochimaru agreed with a chuckle as he resituated his own clothing and stepped toward the heavy door of Sasuke's small room. "Oh, Sasuke, clean yourself up." He finished in a cold and merciless tone as he exited the room, shutting the steel door behind him.
Sasuke waited until he heard the door click into its closed state and then pulled his shivering form into a sitting position against the cold wall behind him and there, hidden from the eyes of the world, Sasuke fell apart.
The young ninja let all of the fear, all of the anger, all of his bottled up emotions pour out as his heavy sobs echoed throughout the stone cold room. Sasuke pulled his knees up against his chest and wrapped his trembling arms around them to hold them in place. He tried so desperately to make himself as small as possible hoping, just hoping, that if he did Orochimaru would forget about him and let him die in peace. His body rocked back and forth with the rattling sobs he choked out between ragged breaths, shattering his sliver of sanity even further. Why him? What did he do wrong? Sasuke could not put the reasons together to form any kind of a rational explanation. Surely it wasn't only because Orochimaru had been in need of that sort of thing. Why would he take it out on the young Uchiha? In Sasuke's clouded and traumatized mind he just couldn't make sense of it and the only conclusion that seemed to make any sense at all was that, in some way, this was his fault.
Sasuke lay on the floor, watching the minutes then hours pass on his digital clock until the morning hours had arrived. Even as he saw the time ticking by it did not seem that any time had passed at all, and his heart still ached in shame and guilt just as it had hours ago when Orochimaru had finished with him. His tears never ceasing, and soon they began to burn in his tired eyes. The young ninja wished more than anything that he could just wake up from this never ending dream of horrors, but life's cruel plan denied his suffering heart that pleasure. Leaving him to drown helplessly in his own hell, alone and forgotten by his former life. He wondered for a moment if his old team would care to save him, but the answer he got from his devastated conscious mind told him that they would not. How could they? He had walked away from that life, leaving them behind and turning his back on them. So, logically they would want to return that favor.
More desperate tears fell from the twelve year olds eyes as the realization that he was completely alone hit him dead in the heart. He had thrown away his opportunity to have a slice of happiness, and now there was no way he would ever have that chance again. They would not feel pity for him; they would not care about his pain after all the pain he had caused them. Maybe that was why he deserved to be violated in the way he had been…Because he had caused the ones he once cared for to suffer. Now, life wanted revenge and by all means it had exacted that revenge.
'Revenge…Ironic.' Sasuke thought to himself in sorrow and irony. Life played a cruel game.
He had come to this very place to get his own revenge, but little did he know that it was just life's way of screwing with him and punishing his sins. How wrong he had been. And now, the young Uchiha was ensnared in the thorns of his unwanted retribution like a bird caught in the entwining rose bush...Lost to the world without hope.
Sasuke had no hope of leaving here, no hope of recovering from the damage he had been dealt and no hope of reaching the life he once had. All he could hope for was that the occurrence with his mentor had been a onetime punishment and that maybe he could be spared further pain and humiliation.
However as the weeks passed in the prison Sasuke was sentenced to serve in he was made painfully and terrifyingly aware that his hopes were all in vein.
There was no end to the torture he had experienced.
Night after painful night, the snake man would use and toss aside the frightened boy. Over and over like a never ending cycle of horrid punishment after punishment. By the end of each "Session", as Orochimaru put it, Sasuke would find his heart in further shambles. His spirit had been crushed every night again and again along with his dwindling source of useless hopes. The young shinobi was shattered, and just as he had predicted, the dust of his spirit was beginning to blow away with the frigid wind.
Sasuke's mind could no longer cope with anything, and he would spend the time that he was not in use crying uncontrollably. It was the only function he had left. Every time he would be left to crumble to the floor in a trembling heap of shame and disgust he would sob like the first night, pulling in on himself and hiding away from the world. He had eventually cried so much that he could no longer produce tears to drain his built up emotions and they would remain locked within his broken shell of a body. There was nothing left for him to hold onto. His hopes, his dreams, his strength and—most devastatingly—his innocence had all been ripped away from him in the cruelest way.
He was empty inside.
Well everyone, there you have it! The end of my first chapter please let me know what you think.
This was a very hard chapter to write seeing as it caused quite a bit of reflection, and as always that can be very difficult to proceed with. I want you all to know that I did my best in presenting this in a respectful and tasteful manner and mean no offence to anyone who has gone through similar situations. I promise you all it will not be this touchy of a subject for much longer, I just had to get the grounds laid for the rest of the Fanfiction. Please review and let me know what you think about it. Thanks!