It was nine in the morning, on a warm breezy Sunday in the early spring, and Bakura Ryou was thoroughly enjoying the ability to stay in bed as late as he wanted to. The sun was shining lazily through an open window, the curtains fluttering in the breeze. Bakura sprawled comfortably on his larger-than-strictly-necessary bed, the sheets pooled around his hips, and his bare feet sticking out from the end. But best of all, his head was purely, blissfully, marvelously empty of anything but his own thoughts. He knew that it wouldn't last; the Ring that hung cold and metallic around his neck was a blatant reminder of that, but for now, he was alone in his head, and the quiet was marvelous.
It's too quiet, he complained mentally, a few minutes later. It was kind of strange, really. There wasn't even any noise from the street. Of course, everyone will want to be at the park on a day like this. Even as he thought it, a car drove by his building, disrupting his little pool of silence. Almost everyone. He sighed. Okay, I give up. Bakura gave himself a bone-popping stretch, and then, with some reluctance, and great regret, rolled out of bed.
He walked silently across the carpeted floor to his closet out of bed. Unfortunately, he had a well-trained internal clock, and there were only so many, glancing out the window on his way. It was really far too nice a day to be getting up o things a guy could do in bed by himself, and none of them seemed appealing at the moment.
Well, I could... His hand strayed unconsciously to the half-circle of five scars on his abdomen, and then convulsively, he clenched his hand into a fist, drawing it away to open the closet. He, Bakura Ryou, would not allow unpleasant thoughts to spoil his day. Not that there was all that much to spoil yet. Leafing through his closet, Bakura felt a curious kind of lassitude, as if the whole world were at a remove from him. Come to think of it, I've felt this way all day.
He found himself not really wanting to get dressed; going through his clothing, nothing seemed appealing to him, not even the handful of garments that he knew he hadn't purchased. Although how had one of Yuugi's tank tops gotten into his closet? A brief wracking of his brain dredged up a vague recollection of rain, mud, and winding up at the game shop, with Yuugi loaning him a shirt that was slightly oversized on the smaller teenager (and, thanks to Bakura's slight build, only a little snug on him), to take the place of the one Bakura had ruined.
I should return that to him, Bakura thought, taking the shirt out of his closet, and placing it on his desk chair. What else is in here that isn't mine? He wondered. Or his...Once again, he shook off the thought, and continued rummaging through his closet. His search shortly turned up another shirt of Yuugi's (where had that one come from? The fact that he had no memory of it chilled Bakura to the bone), and a pair of Anzu's dance shoes. Digging deeper, he turned up a pair of boots that Honda had loaned him. He remembered that even quite clearly - the group had been going hiking, and Bakura hadn't had any boots. Honda, having the same shoe size as him, had come through with an extra pair. The hike had been surprisingly fun, and Bakura had acquired a pair of his own soon after. I wonder why I never got around to returning these? He thought, and then shrugged. He could do it now, after all.
Further searching revealed nothing more in his closet, but Bakura was on a mission now. A search of his dresser revealed nothing, but checking under his bed, he found the sneaker that Honda had forgotten the last time he was over. Moving downstairs, he discovered Anzu's hat and Jounouchi's umbrella in his entryway, and in the kitchen, a pan that he was reasonably sure belonged to another classmate of his.
How much of other people's stuff do I have? Looking at the pile he had accumulated, Bakura just couldn't believe it. He was half-tempted to look into his storage space, except that he knew he had only gotten in there twice since he had moved in to the apartment. It occurred to him then that he was hungry; it was nearly eleven, and he hadn't eaten a thing. I'll also have to get dressed if I want to give this stuff back.
Although he was briefly tempted to just go out in his pajama bottoms and Ring. But he knew that it wouldn't really be worth all the attention that it would draw, to say nothing of the concern that it would cause his friends. I can get dressed after I eat.
Just under half-an-hour later, as Bakura was dithering over the remains of his breakfast, he heard his doorbell ringing. He considered briefly just letting it go; he didn't really want to answer the buzz, but it occurred to him that if it were his friends, then that would save him a trip - and the trouble of getting dressed. He walked into the living room, and pressed the button on the intercom.
"Bakura. Who is it?" he said.
"Yo. It's Honda," came the reply. "What're you doing inside? It's too nice to stay cooped up."
"Spring cleaning," Bakura said with a grin. "Why don't you come up? I'm just about done."
"Uh..." Before Honda could say any more, Bakura pushed the button to let him in "All right all right Honda said with a laugh. "Just don't expect me to do any vacuuming." A minute later, there was a knock at Bakura's apartment door. Bakura answered it.
"Hey..." Honda trailed off, probably as he noticed the fact that Bakura was clad in nothing but pajama pants and the Ring. His skin lost a little colour, but he bravely continued on. "Um, shouldn't you get dressed if we're going out?"
"I will when I'm ready," Bakura replied, moving away from the door, and waving Honda in "I still have to finish cleaning." Honda stepped in, and Bakura closed the door behind him.
"Bakura? No offense, but your apartment looks clean..." he said, after glancing around. Then his eyes tell on the pile of stuff m the middle of the living room. "Where did all that come from?" He paused briefly. "Are those my boots!"
"Spring cleaning," Bakura stated with a little smile, as he sauntered back to the kitchen "Feel free to take your stuff; I was going to be returning it all, anyway." He dumped his plate into the sink, and ran a little water over it, and then refilled his coffee, adding more cream and sugar than was strictly necessary and topping the whole thing off with whipped cream. "There's more in the kitchen," he said in response to Honda's querying look. "Help yourself."
"No thanks," Honda replied. "I don't really care for... coffee?" At Bakura's nod, he nodded back Bakura shrugged.
"Your loss," he said, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure at the taste of his coffee. He sat on the back of his couch, and kicked his feet. Honda shook his head.
"The day's wasting," he said, after a few minutes.
"The day is young" Bakura countered. "Besides, I'm not finished with my spring cleaning " He hopped off the couch, and, setting what was left of his coffee on a side table, made his way over to the storage closet. Deliberately ignoring Honda, he began to sort through the closet's contents. It was mostly his gaming supplies, hundreds of thousands of yen of books, sets, miniatures, and other paraphernalia.
There was a whole box full of old character sheets. Absently, he began sifting through them. The very first one brought a smile to his face - and then a frown. It was an old second edition D&D sheet his 12th-level thief. He had really loved that character, but now, he reflected bitterly, he would never be able to play a thief again.
There were more, and each one brought back memories, some good, some bad. It's like looking through an old photo album, Bakura thought. Or maybe a stack of yearbooks. He frowned suddenly looking at the character sheet he held. It was Yuugi's character sheet, from that game. Beneath it were the sheets belonging to the others. Should I give it to them? Bakura wondered. On the one hand character sheets really belonged to the players, and he should return them. On the other hand, he knew that the sheets would evoke more bad memories for his friends, and more pity for himself. On the third hand he knew something about sympathetic magic, and, as close as these characters were to his friends' true selves he feared the sort of things that his other could do with them. I'll ask, he finally decided.
"Honda?" Bakura said.
"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten me," his friend replied, a smile in his voice.
"You... remember that Monster World game?" Bakura asked quietly.
"Yeah," Honda replied. "What about it?"
"Do you want your character sheet back?"
"What...? Oh." Bakura heard Honda walking up behind him. "Should I have it?"
"Probably," Bakura replied without looking up.
"Then I'll take it," Honda said, doing so. "What should I do with it?" Bakura shrugged.
"Whatever you want." He took the other character sheets out of the box, and then put it away. "Come on," he said with a smile, standing up. "Let's go now."
"In your pajamas!" Honda asked. Bakura laughed.
"Of course not. Give me a minute," he said, going off toward his room.
"We're going on my motorcycle, so dress appropriately!" Honda called after him.
A few minutes later, Bakura was clinging for dear life to Honda, as they tore down the streets at entirely too great a speed. Slung over the white-haired boy's back was an overstuffed backpack.
"Waaaaah!" he exclaimed. He couldn't understand how they didn't fall over. Well he did intellectually, but his gut refused to even try. It wasn't so bad though, once he got used to it Unfortunately he wasn't used to riding a motorcycle, and when he got off, he almost collapsed from the stiffness in his legs. Honda snorted in laughter, and Bakura shot him a glare. "Some friend you are," he muttered.
"Nah, you just need to get out more," Honda replied. "C'mon." He slung an arm around Bakura's shoulders, and directed him towards the game shop. Bakura shrugged him off.
"I can walk myself," he said crossly.
"Bakura! Honda!" Yuugi's 'Jiichan exclaimed, as they entered the shop. "Yuugi's upstairs with Jounouchi," he added.
"Thank you," Bakura replied. He headed up, Honda following behind him. Yuugi and Jounouchi were, as Bakura had more than half-suspected, sitting in Yuugi's room playing Magic & Wizards. And, as usual, Yuugi was winning. Ten seconds after Bakura entered the room in fact, Yuugi had won.
"Another win. Congratulations, Yuugi-kun," Bakura said. He wasn't entirely sure if he meant it.
"Oh! Bakura-kun, I didn't even notice you come in," Yuugi had the grace to look embarrassed. "Honda-kun. How are you two?"
"I'm fine, thank you," Bakura replied. He wasn't, really, not exactly, but he was a polite young man, and polite young men were always polite. And "fine" was the proper reply to a question of state of being.
"I'm doing great," Honda replied at the same time. "Actually, Bakura had some of my things at his place, and he returned them." Yuugi and Jounouchi's eyes turned back over to Bakura.
"Really? That's great!" Yuugi exclaimed.
"Yeah, speaking of great," Jounouchi interjected, before anyone else could continue, "It's been great playing with you Yuugi, but I have my job to get to."
"Wait a moment, please," Bakura said. He dug into the bag he had brought, and pulled out the umbrella, and a file folder. "Here," he said, handing Jounouchi the umbrella. "This is yours. And this," he added, pulling the character sheet out of the folder. Jounouchi flinched.
"Err, Bakura..." he said. He was eyeing the sheet as if it were poisoned. Maybe it was, in a way.
"I know it brings back bad memories, Jounouchi-kun," Bakura said quietly. "But I would rather you have it, than have it remain where he can get it." Jounouchi blinked, and then blanched, and then reluctantly reached out and took the sheet. He held it gingerly.
"I guess if you put it that way," Jounouchi said. "But I still don't get it." Bakura frowned slightly, repressing a surge of frustration. For all that Jounouchi seemed to understand Magic & Wizards, he didn't seem to get that other games had similar qualities. He tried to explain.
"Well, you see," he began. "A character... An RPG character, any RPG character, is like a piece of the player's soul. It's a facet of who you are, whether you like to admit it or not." And your soul is incredibly transparent in this character, Jounouchi. All of you made them too close to your true selves. And Yuugi at least ought to have known better. "Do you understand? I don't want you to leave a piece of your soul where he has access to it." Jounouchi's brows came together briefly, and then his face took on a somber look.
"I think I understand," he said. "It's like with these-" he patted his deck "-only in some ways closer, and some ways farther, right?" Bakura nodded, relieved. It was close enough. "I'll see you guys later then," Jounouchi said, stepping out the door of Yuugi's room. There was a chorus of goodbyes, and then it was only Yuugi and Honda who were in the room with Bakura.
"Do you have something for me then, Bakura-kun?" Yuugi asked, after a brief, slightly uncomfortable silence. Bakura nodded.
"Yes," he said. "I have this-" he handed over Yuugi's character sheet "and these," he added, producing the two shirts. Yuugi took the character sheet with some reluctance, and the shirts with slightly more enthusiasm.
"I remember loaning you this one," Yuugi said, holding up the tank top. "But when did you get this?" he asked, indicating the other shirt. Bakura shook his head.
"I don't know, Yuugi-kun," he replied. "I was hoping you would, but..." It seemed as if it had something to do with him after all. Bakura had hoped that it didn't, that his lack of memory of the shirt was just and ordinary lapse. He hated the fact that it wasn't. He hated the fact that that damned, damned, and thrice-damned spirit had made such a mess of his life. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore; I've returned the shirt." Yuugi nodded, and quietly put the things away.
"It is kind of creepy, though," Honda said, into the silence that had sprung up again. "That the other Bakura would take one of Yuugi's shirts. I wonder what he wanted with it."
"I don't know," Bakura said. "But... I still have some stuff of Anzu's to return. Do you know where she is?"
"She should be at work," Yuugi replied. "Why don't we go visit her? We can get some lunch there too."
"Sounds like a good idea," Honda replied with a grin. "Let's go!" And so Bakura was swept off to Burgerworld. He didn't know whether he was disappointed or relieved that they didn't take Honda's motorcycle; it was only a short walk from Yuugi's house, and the three of them wouldn't fit anyway. It took them all of fifteen minutes to get there, and a short time later, they were sitting in a booth at Anzu's Burgerworld. Sure enough, she wound up as their waitress.
"Hi, may I take your order?" she asked cheerfully, before hissing in an undertone, "What are you idiots doing here! Do you want to ruin this for me!" They all three shook their heads.
"Bakura just has some things he wanted to return to you," Yuugi said quietly, before stating his order in more normal tones.
"Really?" Anzu whispered. "And you two?" she added, more loudly. Bakura and Honda gave their orders. "Well, I'm on break in half an hour..." Anzu continued, quietly again. It was getting a little silly, Bakura thought. The attempt at subterfuge was ridiculous; he wasn't the subtlest person in the world himself, and even he knew it.
Although I think I have more subtlety than most people would give me credit for, he thought I wouldn't be a good game master if I weren't. He wondered absently if he could ever get his friends to try another RPG with him again. He really had never had a chance to show off his skills. Probably not he reflected. Even though they were his friends, they would probably never be comfortable with him running a game, even if it wasn't Monster World. It was a pity, too, because he knew exactly what sort of Dungeons & Dragons campaign he would run, too. Or maybe Exalted; I can just picture Jounouchi... He stopped that thought in its tracks. Maybe it was for the best that they would likely never play another RPG together; aside from Yuugi, the rest of his friends lacked the gaming sophistication to really get into an RPG.
Anzu arrived with their food, and the three of them dug in. They were just picking at the remains when Anzu returned, and slid into the spare seat, across from Bakura, and next to Yuugi.
"So what is it?" she asked. "Sorry for being so abrupt," she added. "But my break isn't long and I'd like to get some lunch myself." She smiled.
"That's okay," Bakura replied, smiling back. "It's just a couple of things..." he unzipped his bag again, and pulled out Anzu's stuff. "These, and this," he said, handing her the shoes and hat "And also… this." He extended her character sheet.
"What's that?" she asked, taking it. He eyes widened, and she paled slightly. "Oh " she said faintly. "I don't think..." she started to hand it back.
"You really should keep it, Anzu," Yuugi said, putting out a hand to stop her. "A character is kind of like a part of your soul, right Bakura-kun?" Bakura nodded, glad, but not really surprised that Yuugi understood.
"Yes," Bakura said aloud. "I would rather you have it; it's better that way."
"If it's really that important..." Bakura, Yuugi, and Honda all nodded simultaneously "I guess I'll keep it then," Anzu said, folding it up, and placing it in her pocket.
"We won't keep you from your break anymore," Bakura said, standing up. He had one more thing to drop off, and it was the most unwieldy.
"Oh no, it's all right," Anzu replied.
"No, Bakura-kun is right," Yuugi said with a smile. "We'll come visit you again though if you want."
"Well, as long as you don't get me caught." They all shared a laugh, and then the three young men left.
"You still have something in your bag, Bakura-kun?" Yuugi asked, as they were walking again surprise in his voice.
"Yes. You remember that group project in school, three months ago?" Yuugi and Honda nodded "Well, that girl who was in my group, the one with the braces and funny hair, insisted that the group meet at my place, since no one else lives with me... She brought this pan over." Bakura hefted the bag "It was filled with... something." He shuddered. "None of us ate it, and she left the pan at my place I intend to return it to her."
"So... you know where she lives?" Honda asked. Bakura just smiled, and led the way. It took a grand total of one half hour for them to reach the girl's home, drop off the pan, and make good their escape And the afternoon was still young.
"Now what?" Yuugi asked, some few minutes later, as they were loitering in a nearby park.
"Well, actually..." Honda began.
"You have an idea?" Yuugi asked. Bakura remained silent; his self-imposed mission for the day completed, he was somewhat at loose ends. His fingers twitched slightly; in spite of himself, he missed the feeling of dice in his hands, the satisfying clatter as they fell to the rolling surface, and that thrill of glee at rolling well.
"Not really," Honda continued, oblivious to Bakura's inner moping. He scratched his head in embarrassment. "I kind of have to baby-sit my cousin again... in an hour."
"Is everyone busy today!" Yuugi exclaimed.
"Sorry!" Honda called, as he ran off. Bakura and Yuugi stood in silence for a moment.
"Well, I'm not busy," Bakura said quietly. Yuugi turned to him abruptly, as if startled by his voice. "I don't know how far you can trust me," Bakura admitted with a kind of sad smile, "but you're welcome to come over to my place." Yuugi looked up at Bakura, and fingered his Puzzle nervously.
"Okay," Yuugi said finally. "I guess it'll be okay." All of his wandering during the day had brought Bakura back fairly close to his apartment; it wasn't long before he and Yuugi reached it again.
"Welcome to my home, Yuugi," Bakura said, with that sad smile again. "Hopefully this time under better circumstances." Yuugi smiled back, and toed off his shoes as Bakura closed the door. Bakura locked the door, and then shucked his own footwear. "Let me give you a better tour this time."
"Thanks," Yuugi replied. The tour was short; Bakura's apartment wasn't very big, and Yuugi had seen some of it the first time he had been there. They wound up in Bakura's living room, sitting on the couch. They were silent again for what seemed like a long time. It was mostly comfortable this time.
"What's it like?" Bakura asked suddenly.
"Like?" Yuugi replied, genuinely startled this time.
"Having an other self who... cares," Bakura said. He didn't look at Yuugi; his hands had been clasped on his lap, and now he had spread his fingers out, and was examining them minutely. He hadn't noticed that bit of dirt under his left thumbnail before; he dug it out.
"I... well, I'm not certain how to describe it," Yuugi said quietly after a while. "It's like having this... this warm net of safety in your soul, always ready to catch you if you fall, or hold you if you're sad..." Bakura glanced up then, and saw that Yuugi too was studying his hands intently. "It's more than that though. It's-"
"I know," Bakura said. "It's like a piece of your soul that doesn't precisely belong to you anymore, but somehow connects you to something... more than yourself."
"...Yeah," Yuugi agreed quietly. "A piece of your soul that also belongs to- oh." Yuugi fell silent. Bakura put a hand on his own chest, and unconsciously, it slid down to rest over the scars on his abdomen. Yuugi looked uncertain. Before he could say anything more, however, Bakura spoke.
"It's as if there's a part of me that's so cold inside... it's like there's a piece missing," he said, his eyes back on his hands again. "I guess there is a piece of me missing," he continued, more quietly. "But as long as it's missing, I know that I'm safe. I know that we're all safe." He looked up, and smiled at Yuugi. "I guess it's strange, but the only time I can really be close to happy is when I'm like this. Don't be sorry," he added, when he saw Yuugi open his mouth to say something. "I can't help it any more than you can; I can't be rid of him any more than you can." He nodded towards Yuugi's Puzzle.
"You mean you-" Yuugi cut off his own speech again, but his eyes had drifted toward Bakura's chest. Bakura shrugged, unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, and pulled his Ring out. Yuugi's eyes widened. "I thought Honda-kun had gotten rid of it." Bakura shook his head.
"It can't be gotten rid of," he said. "Not in any way that I know of." He paused. "I've tried."
"Bakura..." Yuugi said, and odd note in his voice.
"I told you, Yuugi-kun: don't pity me," Bakura said, his eyes firm. "I'm past the need for pity." His voice had a tone of resignation to it. "I've accepted that I can't get rid of him forever; all that's left is to fight him however I can, whenever I can." They fell into a sad, understanding silence then.
"Do you still have the miniatures?" Yuugi asked after a while. "From the Monster World game?" Bakura blinked in startlement; he hadn't even thought of them until Yuugi had mentioned them. He suppressed a shudder; he could probably guess why he hadn't thought of them.
"Yes, I do," he replied. "Thank you for reminding me." He unfolded himself from his seat on the couch, and headed over to the closet where he kept all of his gaming supplies. "They'll be over here." Yuugi followed him, curiously.
"Oh, wow," he said when Bakura opened the closet. "You must have every RPG book there is! Our game store doesn't even have some of these!" Bakura blushed slightly.
"Well, now you see my passion. Would you like to look at some of them?" Yuugi nodded wordlessly, and Bakura made room for him to select a few books. Once Yuugi was happily engrossed in them, Bakura returned to his task of finding the Monster World miniatures. Where did I put those? He thought they were in a box on the top shelf, but he wasn't sure. Standing on his toes (the closet was quite tall), he pulled down the several identical boxes up there.
Sitting down on the floor, not far from where Yuugi had seated himself, Bakura blew the dust off the tops, and opened them. The first one held miniatures from non-Monster World games. The second... he winced when he drew the lid off of the second, and carefully set it aside. I will figure out how to fix them, he swore. He opened the third, and, of course, the miniatures that were like tiny replicas of his friends sat inside.
"Here they are," he said, handing the box to Yuugi. "You'd better keep them all for now." Yuugi nodded in understanding, and took the box.
"I don't suppose..." He hesitated.
"What is it?" Bakura replied.
"Who actually made these?" Yuugi asked, hefting the box slightly. "I mean, they look like they took a long time to make, but..." Bakura nodded.
"They did. It's strange, really. I always used to make miniatures when I had spare time, when I was bored," he said. "I actually made those two years before I ever met you all." Yuugi's eyebrows had climbed up under his bangs.
"Two years?" he asked. Bakura nodded.
"It's not a comforting thought, is it?" he asked.
"No, it isn't," Yuugi replied. He put the lid back on the box, and Bakura put the other two away, taking extra care with the second one.
I'm really sorry, he thought at the inhabitants. Maybe Yuugi could help him. He didn't ask, though - it wouldn't do any good to know that he could if he didn't know where the souls belonged.
"This seems like a pretty fun game," Yuugi said, gesturing with the book he was reading. It was the second edition of Changeling, The Dreaming.
"It is," Bakura stated. "The whole system is a lot of fun, and there aren't that many hard-and-fast rules. It's great for a creative Storyteller and intelligent players. But..." he trailed off.
"But?" Yuugi prompted.
"I haven't played it in a while," Bakura said. "Any of the games in that system. They hit far too close to the truth sometimes for my comfort. Here, look at these," he continued, standing and selecting a small armful of books from the shelves. Wraith, Mage, Mummy... Definitely Mummy. "And you'll see what I mean."
"Anou..." Yuugi hesitated. Bakura waited. "Well, my English isn't really that good," Yuugi confessed. "I can read it well enough for little things, or to understand American Magic & Wizards cards. But a whole book like this is too much for me."
"Oh," Bakura replied. "Sorry, Yuugi-kun. I forget sometimes that not everyone is as dedicated to role-playing games as I am."
"You must have taken a lot of trouble to learn English just for the games!" Yuugi laughed. Bakura laughed with him.
"You're right, it is," he agreed. "But it comes in handy for other things as well, so it wasn't a waste of time." He paused, looking at Yuugi for a moment. "I could explain the basics of these, if you'd like." He hefted the books.
"If it would help me understand..." Yuugi said. The look in his eyes was a little odd then; Bakura couldn't quite analyze it. Bakura shrugged.
"Why don't we go back to the couch?" he asked.
"Good idea," Yuugi agreed, standing up and stretching. "It'll be a lot better than the floor." He popped his neck, retrieved the box of miniatures from the floor, and then lead the way back to the couch. Bakura sat next to him, and opened the first book.
"This is for a game called 'Mage: the Ascension,'" he said. Yuugi nodded.
"What does 'ah-sen-shon' mean?" he asked, pronouncing the word carefully. Bakura explained the English word "ascension."
"As for why the game is called that," he added, before Yuugi could ask, "well, it goes like this..."
-----
Several hours later, the light coming in the windows was growing dim and red, and Bakura had finally finished explaining the books to Yuugi.
"That's not completely it, of course," he said. "There's so much more, all the other books and supplements, but it covers the basics."
"It's very complicated, isn't it?" Yuugi said. "All of the games look like a lot of fun, but... I guess I can understand why you wouldn't want to play them." Bakura nodded.
"It's also a little difficult to play an RPG without anyone else to play it with," he said.
"What do you mean, without anyone else?" Yuugi asked. "We're your friends, aren't we? And who else could you play with, but your friends?" Bakura looked at Yuugi in startled amazement. He had never thought that Yuugi - that any of them, really - would say something like that, had always assumed that, after what his other had done, with the horrible danger that it was to play with him, that they would never want to play an RPG with him again. He felt a stinging in his eyes.
"You..." he blinked, his vision growing blurry. "Thank you, Yuugi-kun," he said quietly. Why was he having trouble seeing? He blinked again, and brought a hand up to rub his eyes, only to find his arm trapped, immobilized in the circle of Yuugi's arms. What? He thought. A moment later, it registered that Yuugi was hugging him - hugging him! The fact that someone was actually touching him - those girls in his class didn't count - was surprising. Most people, once they had been around him for a while, were afraid to touch him. Yuugi hugged him close.
"We're your friends, Bakura-kun," he said. "Even if the other you is frightening, and evil, we know that you're not." Bakura was silent again, for a long moment. A part of him wanted to return the hug, but he just couldn't.
What's wrong with me? He wondered bitterly. It was as if he couldn't move; his limbs were paralyzed, and it was difficult to breathe. His hands hurt, he realized. And his body was – shaking? I don't shake. Not even when he – No, Nothing's wrong. There can't be anything wrong. He's not here, so I have to be safe, I have to – Bakura choked; on what, he didn't know.
"Bakura-kun…" Yuugi said quietly. "It's okay to cry." Bakura choked again – on a sob, he realized.
I can't cry; if I cry, it'll make it real. If I cry, it'll be giving in to him. But Yuugi had said that it was okay to cry. Yuugi, who was in the same situation as he was, even if the spirit of the Puzzle wasn't nearly so malevolent as his own. Yuugi, who was his friend, who was willing to stand by him, even knowing – knowing – what lurked inside the Ring that he just couldn't get rid of. He shuddered, and choked back another sob.
"I can't," he whispered, suddenly, convulsively, clutching Yuugi's shirt. "I don't know why, but I just can't." Even as he spoke, he felt the unfamiliar stinging wetness in his eyes. "I – " his breath hitched. "I can't." His head fell against Yuugi's chest, and Yuugi's arms closed tightly around him.
Bakura shook silently. Tears leaked from his eyes despite the best efforts of his unconscious, but thankfully, Yuugi didn't say anything. Distantly, Bakura wondered if he was talking to his other half inside the Puzzle just then, and if he was, what he was saying.
Not that it mattered, in the end, as far as Bakura was concerned. Even this was only a temporary respite; he would be back, to haunt and torment Bakura again, no matter what happened, it seemed. Abruptly, a thought occurred to him. It was a wild thought, and crazy. He wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.
Because I didn't dare. That was the answer, he knew. Bakura took a deep breath, and drew away from Yuugi.
"Are you all right now, Bakura-kun?" Yuugi asked. Bakura nodded, and ten shook his head.
"Yes, well, no; as much as usual, I guess, but, ah, I have a question," Bakura replied. Yuugi nodded. "It's a little strange," Bakura started after a moment. "I'm not certain if I should even ask, but is there anything you can do? Either of you? To help—" He gestured helplessly at the Ring around his neck.
The thing felt like a leaden weight. Like a ball and chain weighing him down so that he could never escape. Or like a boomerang; something that always came back; no matter how many times Bakura threw it away. Or how far he threw it. Or, while he was on the metaphors, like the Sword of Damocles, hanging over his head. Bakura swallowed, and suppressed a hysterical giggle.
"I-- " Yuugi started. "We-- I don't know what we could do," he said. "The other me doesn't really know, either." He frowned slightly. "I don't think we could do anything without hurting you." Bakura deflated, sighing as his shoulders slumped. A hand fell on his shoulder. A familiar hand. But it wasn't Yuugi's. He looked up sharply.
"What-- " The other Yuugi smiled at him. It was grim, but genuine.
"We'll try to find a way," he said. "Be strong. In the meantime, we should probably get going; Grandpa will worry. And we should give these-" he hefted the box of miniatures "-back to the others."
Bakura nodded. "I understand," he said softly. "Can I come over tomorrow after school? To the game shop?" Abruptly – subtlely – it was Yuugi again. He smiled too, the bright, cheerful smile that was so often on his face.
"Of course! I'll see you in class then." Bakura waved a little, as Yuugi headed out of the apartment. Yuugi waved back, and then he was gone. The door shut with a heavy click, and Bakura was alone again. In the too-quiet dark. He shut his eyes, and breathed very softly.
Nothing. His head was still empty of everything but his own thoughts. Maybe tomorrow would still be all right. Bakura sighed. Strangely, he didn't feel quite so alone anymore. Even if it was still too quiet.