A/N: So this is Simm!Master, and it's an AU post Starlight* one-shot. I was just feeling full of holiday cheer and had no story to spread it to, so this is where it went! Happy holidays to everyone! Hope you enjoy it!

(*If you have no idea what this means, you should probably read my story 'Starlight'. Go ahead, I'll wait here. I promise it's good. Okay, well, 'good' is sort of vague and arbitrary. I promise you won't immediately hate it. You may grow to hate it four or five sentences in, but I feel pretty safe in saying you'll enjoy some of the nouns. Everyone loves nouns.)

It was clear from the scowl on his already generally unpleasant face, that he wasn't interested in joining us for ice-skating. Which kind of made me wonder why he didn't just decide to stay wherever he had been all morning, instead of tracking us down just to glare at us. But hey, whatever grinds your gears, Grinch.

It did occur to me, maybe an hour later, that perhaps he wanted to speak with me. That was probably made more difficult by me pretending I was some ice princess out in the middle of the frozen lake. So I decided it was time to investigate, even if I did enjoy making him wait. My ankles were starting to get pretty loose, and if I didn't stop soon, I'd probably experience some more permanent damage. You know, other than the bruises I had already accumulated.

There may have been some falling on my part. Like, a tiny bit. Most noticeably on my knees. And ass. But damn, if I didn't look good doing it. Plus it was nice to be injured in a completely normal and non life threatening manner. It was a fun change of pace.

My legs were instantly grateful to be back in their natural habitat of solid ground and sneakers. I congratulated myself on a job well done of escaping the ice rink without gouging myself with the blades. I don't know why, but it was always a secret fear of mine whenever I went skating. But my good mood dampened somewhat as I approached the Professor. He stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown etched into his forehead in the least subtle position of disapproval I had ever seen. Once he saw me coming, he relaxed a little, which I took as an optimistic sign.

"You look like you're having just oodles of fun." I raised my eyebrow at him as I leaned against the railing. "It's an entire city, dedicated to Christmas. Can't you at least pretend to be cheery?"

"I'm a time lord. We don't celebrate Christmas."

"Well that doesn't seem to slow the Doctor any." It was hard to miss the Doctor on the ice. He was wearing the world's longest, and most obnoxiously colored scarf I had ever seen in my life. And he'd found a partner to skate with. They both looked like they were training for the Olympics. We watched as the Doctor expertly tossed his partner, into the air, and then caught her as they both glided effortlessly across the ice.

It was actually infuriating, the way he could do that. He was clumsy, uncoordinated, and about as awkward as a baby giraffe. There was absolutely no way he should even be able to stand on solid ground, much less ice. Yet here he was, some kind of figure skating magician. It was impossible. And that was coming from someone who had seen several impossible things in the past few weeks.

"Well, he's had the great misfortune to have spent too much time amongst humans." He was teasing, but I shot him a glare anyway, just to let him know his sass wasn't appreciated. "He's got a bit of an edge as far as understanding your customs."

"Oh pfft." I waved my hand in the air. "You don't need an edge. It's easy. There's a tree, there's snow. Even if there isn't snow, there's snow. There's presents. There's eating an ungodly amount of food; if you don't make yourself sick, you're doing it wrong. And then you invite all the relatives you can't stand during the rest of the year, to come stay at your house. Because everyone is supposed to pretend to be happy about family. Blah blah. Oh, and eggnog." I pointed at him for dramatic effect. "Spiked eggnog. Otherwise, what's the point. And that's it. That's Christmas. Tadaa."

"Well, here I was thinking it was meant to be something important." He rolled his eyes at me. Jokes on him, that just meant he knew plenty about Christmas and he was deliberately refusing to have a good time here with us because he was some kind of a scrooge.

"Sure, there's something about a guy, no room at the inn. Peace on earth. Compassion. I don't bog myself down with that garbage. Presents is where it's at." I repeated for emphasis. "Oh! And Christmas lights. Lots and lots of Christmas lights."

"Presents?" He asked, almost sounding genuinely interested. I couldn't tell if it was a trick, but I decided to drown him in enthusiasm anyway.

"Yes! Presents! The second best part after lights. Well, and maybe tied with eggnog. But you pick gifts out for people, you keep it a secret, and then, bam! Christmas morning everyone unwraps the gifts and it's great and everyone feels awesome." If Santa was ever in need of a solid PR girl, I was all over that shit.

"Hm. Interesting." Yeah, pretty sure he was just mocking me. Well, phooey on him. Christmas was awesome, and if he couldn't see that, he was a big…dumb idiot. That I kind of liked. But still, the point stood. "So if someone were looking for a present for their girlfriend, what would you suggest getting them?" His amber eyes settled on my own and my stomach did a funny kind of twist over the word 'girlfriend'. I'd embarrassed myself a few weeks ago by using the term 'boyfriend' only to learn that time lords didn't really use that kind of terminology, and even if they did, the look the Professor had given me suggested I should never, under any circumstance, use it on him. Of course, it was a stupid reason to get excited, but here I was, giddy like an idiot anyway.

"A Ferrari."

"A what?" He asked with a frown. Dammit. There he went, ruining my perfectly delivered line. I sighed.

"It's a car. A really obnoxiously expensive car. That I probably can't drive. It's foreign, so it's probably on the wrong side anyway."

"It's Italian, and they actually drive on the same side of the road as I imagine you would, if I trusted you to drive at all."

It took a moment for me to fully form my fist. "You dirty lying-"

"Of course, you do realize, as a time lord, I have certain monetary privileges that would make acquiring something like that, despite it being ridiculous, quite easy."

I forgot about punching the Professor for a moment and remembered that the Doctor simply pulled handfuls of cash out of ATMs wherever we went. It was less funny to ask for a Ferrari if he could actually afford the damn thing.

"You're right," I nodded. "I have to think bigger…Oh! I know. A moon- No! A whole planet! Preferably, one that homes mermaids, and mountains made out of diamonds. And then etched onto the side, it can say 'Fitz is super rad'. Yeah. That would make an excellent present." I probably wasn't getting a present from the Professor this year. Or possibly any subsequent year. That was alright, annoying him would be my present to myself.

"Hm," he nodded thoughtfully. "I suppose that might work. Not sure why she'd want a planet mentioning how 'rad' you are, but perhaps if I alter the name-" This time I punched him solidly in the shoulder. How dare he imply that he was capable of having another girlfriend. I was a saint for putting up with his obnoxious behavior. It'd be a miracle if he could find someone else who was willing to do the same. A grin pulled up at the corner of his mouth and spread to the rest of his face. It was more difficult to be annoyed with him when he did that, and I was pretty sure he damn well knew it. The man had a sexy smile. Bastard. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small box. "Anyway, I got you this."

"But…" I stared at it, frowning. It was definitely a gift. It even had a bow on it and everything. "But this is a present." Even saying it out loud sounded strange. "How did you-"

"I've celebrated Christmas before you dolt." He rolled his eyes at me. "Do you want it or not?"

"Oi! Watch with the name calling, or I'll make you do the planet thing instead." I snatched the box out of his hand before he could change his mind.

"What makes you think I haven't already done that?" But I was too busy opening the box to listen to his snarky comment. Because, oh my god, he got me a present. If him calling me his 'girlfriend' had gotten me all swoony and flustered, this was pushing me even further over the edge. He had actually gone out and purchased something forme. The thought was making my face stretch into some kind of idiot grin.

The box was finally open and I found myself staring again. To be honest, my expectations had been set pretty low. A gun is where I had placed my bets. Or a weapon of some kind, something destructive and practical. But I was completely flabbergasted by what I saw.

"It's…beautiful." I whispered. From the girl who generally hated pretty things out of sheer spite, it was an impressive statement. He had gotten me jewelry. It was a locket, about the size of a half-dollar. Both the front and back were inlaid with midnight blue glass and there was a raised silver filigree pattern adorned on both sides. It was something in Gallifreyan, a language I was coming to recognize, but would never ever understand. It reminded me too much of math, and not in a good way. Not that there was a good way. The whole piece kind of reminded me of a star map. It was stunning.

"It's meant to be a ward," he explained when I continued to stand there, speechless. "This means 'safety' and 'protection'," he traced his fingers over the silver patterns. "Not that it will be any help against the kind of trouble you find yourself in. But I thought it was worth a shot." I had regained enough of my senses to shoot him a look, but then I was right back to admiring the locket. When I picked it up, a delicate looking chain poured like water from the box, dangling from my hand.

"Adantian. May I?" I nodded quickly as he took the necklace and looped it around my neck. "Lighter than air, stronger than tungsten carbide. It won't melt, break, or suddenly fuse together from a freak dose of radiation."

"I love it when you talk science." I smirked at him.

"And I've taken the liberty to check it for time lords. You're in the clear."

"My hero." I rolled my eyes, but we both knew I was secretly relieved this couldn't turn into another fiasco like my last experience with jewelry. "Where did you get it?" As soon as I said it, it seemed rude. But, where do you get jewelry with a language from a…well…dead planet?

"Get it?" He asked with a frown. "Don't be ridiculous. I made it."

"You made it?" I picked it up and began to inspect it even more carefully. The most impressive thing I'd ever made was a diorama in grade school for 'Lord of the Flies'. The clay pig head on a spike had been my magnum opus, but this…this was much more impressive. And he had made it for me. I take back every rotten thing I'd ever thought about him. Well. Most of them.

Some.

"Well, yes. Since you insist on carrying Rassilon with you everywhere," he hadn't exactly approved of that little detail, but if there was anything I had real talent for, it was being stubborn. "I thought it would be useful to have something you could actually keep track of."

"So I can put Rassilon in this?" Itty-bitty living space indeed, genie of the lamp. I had no problem making him suffer in that capacity, since he hadn't given a shit about my suffering. It did make me a little sad that I was going to sully the only pretty thing I owned with that scumbag, but at least I wouldn't have to constantly check my pockets to make sure the damn watch was still there.

"Yes. Or rather, you can carry him in that. I've put him in here." He held out his hand, where there was a small gray metal disc in his hand that reminded me of a watch battery.

I frowned, patting my jacket and feeling the reassuring lump in my pocket. "You can't have, because I've still got him here."

"Yes, well," he shrugged, not even pretending to feel guilty. In fact, he looked rather pleased with himself. "I managed to nick it off you the other night. You were sleeping rather deeply, I recall."

"You took-" My teeth were grinding together unconsciously. It was hard to stop when all I wanted to do was turn his bones into dust. "You stole it from me when I was sleeping?"

"Briefly." He said, as though it didn't matter at all. "And now I'm returning it. I took extra good care of him for you." He held the disc out between us. I glared at him, it really just looked like a battery, which made me suspicious that this was some elaborate trick so he could get his own way. I took the disc and stared at it.

Kill. Murder everything you love. Painful death. Agony.

The yellow glow that I had recognized in the watch swirled around the disc, but only when I moved it. The threatening voice in my head was also familiar from my time with the watch, when I risked looking at it anyway. It was good to see Rassilon was still just as charming as ever. Merry Christmas to you, asshole. It was childish, and I had no way of knowing if he could hear my reply, but it gave me a sense of satisfaction as I dropped the disc in my new locket and snapped it shut, silencing him.

Then I turned my glare to the Professor. I tried hard to be furious with him, really hard. He had stolen from me. Stolen something rather important. And he had called me his girlfriend. Given me a gift, a surprise gift, no less. A handmade surprise gift. Then, to top it off, he had returned the stolen artifact in a more convenient package. An artifact that he didn't actually want me carrying around at all.

"You are the worst boyfriend." Couldn't be mad at him, and he damn well knew it. Especially if that smug grin on his face was anything to go by.

"I know. So you like it, I take it?"

"I love it. But if you steal anything from me, ever again." I warned him with a stern finger. There was no reason to finish the threat, because he knew as well as I did that any doom I promised would ultimately be unfulfilled. Because I was weak. And he was adorable.

"Yes. The burning fury of a thousand white stars, I'm sure. Shall I give you some suggestions of what you should get me in return?"

"Um." It was unfortunate that he had decided he should be such a dramatically charming man two hours after I had already purchased his Christmas gift. "I sort of…already got you something."

"Oh?" He seemed genuinely surprised, maybe even a little pleased. Which was really too bad, because he was about to be incredibly disappointed. Whereas some people gave thoughtful, handcrafted, beautiful works of art for Christmas. I gave…dumb gifts.

"Yeah. Here's the thing. I didn't really think you were on board for the whole 'Christmas' bit, so I sort of got a present for you…that was also for me…" Oh he was going to be so disappointed. So so disappointed.

"Well now you've got my attention." His lip curled in a devious grin and it was obvious that his mind had gone straight to the gutter. Not that it ever left the gutter, mind you.

"Don't get your hopes up, perv. It's a hat."

That definitely threw him. "A hat?" He wasn't scowling yet, but I could tell he was preparing himself for it.

"Yep. Rudolph the Reindeer. It's got a glowing red nose on the front, button eyes, and little foam antlers that stick out the side."

There was a long ominous silence where he considered what to say next. If I had to guess, it was probably his 'we should see other people' speech.

"And you thought that a Rudolph hat is something I would have wanted as a gift?" The look he was giving me suggested he was not a fan of ugly Christmas hats. Which was really too bad, because it was a glorious hat.

"Well, no. But I thought you'd humor me for two seconds by wearing it. That would have been your present to me. And then, I was going to let you light it on fire. I even bought a mini candy cane blowtorch to do it. That was going to be my gift to you." Okay, it was really meant mostly as a gift to me. But I put up with a lot of shit, I think I deserved to see the Professor in a fabulously stupid hat. Hopefully the Doctor wouldn't find it, because I got the feeling he'd just ask me where I got it.

"Not bad," he admitted. "The bit with the destruction certainly appeals to me. I'm afraid it doesn't quite make us even though."

"Well no shit!" I threw my arms in the air. "How in the hell was I supposed to know that you'd go all ultra romantic on me and hand make this amazing piece of jewelry for me to keep the boogieman imprisoned in. That's hardly fair."

"You're right," he nodded thoughtfully. "I don't play fair." He stepped closer to me and brought his hand up to my waist, giving me shivers that had little to do with the snow that had started to fall. "How terribly thoughtless of me. Still, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you make up the difference."

"I think they had a matching set of mittens?" There was hardly any distance between us at all, which was making it hard to focus on anything other than his warm honeyed eyes.

"That's definitely something to consider." He slowly walked me backward until I bumped against the wall that separated us from the ice. "I thought I might make another suggestion." Instead of stopping, he pressed up against me, pinning me to the wall. With one hand on my waist, and the other flat against the wall behind me, there was nowhere to escape. Like I had any real desire to.

"Like what?" I swallowed, trying my very best to play hard to get. If only to try and prove a point that his gift, however wonderful, hadn't magically turned me into some simpering puddle of goo.

Who was I kidding, it totally had.

"Oh, you know," his voice murmured in my ear as his hot breath left a slow trail along my incredibly sensitive skin. "Nothing from a shop." His voice rumbled against my throat, his lips warming my exposed neck and starting to make my heart race. This was totally unfair, people shouldn't have these kinds of dangerous flirting powers. It should be illegal. "Something a little more…personal." His mouth dragged along my jaw, barely touching me and he stopped just short of my lips. My breath hitched in my throat. It was really hard to think when he was doing that. Really.

"Oi!" Donna's abrupt voice slowed my libido, but only just. "You two planning to put on a show?" I turned my head partly to see her, and partly just so I could breathe again. But looking at her reminded me that there were actually other people around. I had just sort of, forgotten that small fact. Of course, Donna was looking terrible pleased with herself.

"Maybe, if you're lucky." The Professor flashed a smile, but looked more annoyed at the interruption than anything. Apparently, the man had plans.

"I'm sure." Donna snorted. "Just don't get yourself arrested, alright? Think of the children." She smirked as she skated away, giving us our small bit of privacy again.

"So," I cleared my throat, trying to bring my temperature back down to normal. "You'll just jot down a list of suggestions for me? Should I expect that soon? I mean, I have no idea when actual Christmas is, since we're not technically in the same galaxy-" He cupped my face in his hand and pressed his warm lips against my own. There was a split second where I considered what Donna had said, but then I was melting against him. What was I saying about back to normal? That wasn't happening. His hand was sliding up my jacket now, bringing a fresh chill to my stomach, and his hungry mouth worked readily against my own. It was hard to think of anything other than 'more' and 'oh god yes' especially when I absolutely didn't want this to stop. He finally did pull away, watching me with his cheshire grin. I probably looked like someone who'd just been thrown from a train.

"You uh…really seem to know what you're doing…" I stammered. Breathe. Remember to breathe.

"Merry Christmas, Fitz." He said with a small smile as he brushed a strand of my hair back behind my ear. He caught my lips once more, this kiss gentler than the first, but no less invigorating.

"Merry Christmas to you, idiot." I said after I managed to catch my breath.

"See, now that I'm going to make you sorry for." He said very seriously. "Not sure we'll need an audience for that." His eyes held a dangerous promise and I shivered beneath his warm touch. I was going to get him an ugly hat every year.