AN: So I know I haven't been updating my other stories, but I've had a major lack of inspiration and a hell of a lot of depression. To make up for it, I bring to you all a DaveKat oneshot that I wrote at the beginning of this school year. Things like these seem to be the only things I write during school. *sigh*. I have several more DaveKat oneshots (most likely) in progress. Like, three. So I'll try to finish those and post them soon. More author's notes (you aren't obligated to read them, okay?) and the end of this because I know you want fanfic.
Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or the characters, they belong to Andrew Hussie.
"Hey Strider."
Karkat walks into your room, and flops himself on your bed. You don't spare him more than a glance from your spot at your desk, where you're dicking around with your computer.
"Sup Karkles?" you ask him, not seeing as he takes the blankets and pillows off your bed and throws them on the floor. You do, however, see when he takes clothes from your closet and adds them to the pile.
Karkat answers you with a grunt, deftly plopping himself into the makeshift pile. You sigh and swivel your chair around to face him, taking in the scene before you.
You quirk and eyebrow over your shades and ask, "Feelings jam?" You assume that's what he wants because the two of you have them often enough. Ever since Gamzee ended his and Karkat's moiraillegience, Karkat made you his sort-of-kinda moirail, but it wasn't official. You guys did moirail things, but he never referred to you as such.
"I want answers," he tells you, crossing his arms. You look at him blankly.
"Okay?"
"Get in the pile, dumbass!" Karkat demands, violently patting the area beside him.
You hold up your hands in mock surrender, standing up and out of your chair and sitting beside him.
"Why?" Karkat asks you immediately.
"Why what?"
"Fuck, why isn't a good question. How? How do you do it, Strider?"
"Sorry man, you're gonna need to elaborate. I don't know what you're talking about," you reply.
Karkat takes one of your pillows and buries his face in it, mumbling something.
"Speak up, bro," you tell him, leaning back on your hands. Suddenly, Karkat explodes, throwing the pillow to the side.
"I have spent all of my fucking pitiful life shutting people out and keeping to myself and doing everything I can to keep from falling for people. Terezi was my first failure, John was my second. I was bound determined to never fail like that again, but I did fail once again, this time with Gamzee," Karkat rants, barely pausing long enough to take a breath.
"I don't even like you, Strider. I have a rule. No one, no-fucking-one gets to just force themselves into my life and knock my walls down and grow on me if I don't want them to. And gog fucking knows I didn't want you to! But you, Dave, are the one goddamned exception to that rule. No one else has done it, but you did. You weren't supposed to be the only exception. My walls were unbreakable..." Karkat trails off, his voice lowering considerably. For once, you were left speechless. Karkat's voice is but a whisper now.
"So I guess I was wondering how you managed it, how you make me like you and hang off of your every word and trust you with my life when you come off as such a douche."
You hardly notice as your body unconsciously tenses up, your way of flinching at the words the troll beside you throws.
"Do you really think that little of me?" you ask, pronouncing your words slowly and carefully.
"Did you not just hear a word I said?"
"You think I'm a douche."
"Well you are!" Karkat huffs at you, covering his face with his hands. "Well, somewhat of one."
"Well it's not like you're the nicest guy either," you tell the troll, feeling insulted.
There's a long pause before Karkat speaks again, and when he does, it's quieter.
"This isn't getting through your thinkpan, is it?" he asks.
"What do you mean? I get that you're mad at me for trying to be your friend and you think I'm a douche so I'm pretty sure you got your point across," you snap at Karkat, sounding more exasperated than you would've liked.
Karkat sighs loudly, his voice growing to it's normal volume. "Yeah, you don't understand. I used to hate you, platonically of course," he adds.
"I never thought we would become friends and shit like we are now, and I was against that happening, but it did anyways."
"What's your point?" you ask shortly, wanting to be done with this. You aren't too keen about hearing Karkat's hatred for you.
"Point is, you go against everything I've ever lived by, but somehow, I don't hate it. It doesn't bother me," Karkat tells you. He pointedly looks away from you, staring at his feet and fiddling with his shoe lace.
"And?"
"And I want to know how you do it, why you're trying. Why the hell would you want to spend your time with me when you could be with Terezi?"
All of Karkat's questions are making your head spin, making you think, because you're finally understanding.
"Don't get me wrong, I like Terezi. She's pretty chill. But I think it's more worth my time to spend it with you because I know that Terezi would rather be with Gamzee than me. And I know... well, thought that by now, you appreciated my presence," you tell him. You did like spending time with Karkat, all your little spats or jams or storytime sessions. They were fun and entertaining and you didn't hate the troll, so you weren't opposed to the idea of doing such things. You never regretted a moment of it all.
"Are you doing it just to spite me and act like everything's okay until you abandon me for John?" Karkat asks you, his voice sounding bitter. You were kind of taken aback.
"What? I'm not going to abandon you, Vantas. When we meet up with the others, yes, I'm going to chill with him. But I won't abandon you," you reassure Karkat. He bites his lip, looking at you from behind his bangs.
"Promise?" he asks you, his face tinged with pink. You can't resist pulling the little guy into a hug.
"Yes, I promise."
You can feel Karkat relax into you, and he buries his face in your chest. You feel his arms wrap around your waist, and you pull him closer. Hugging between you and Karkat wasn't a new thing, but it only ever happened during your feelings jams. You thought that was kind of weird, but maybe trolls just weren't very affectionate at any given time. Terezi was the same way when you were with her.
Karkat mumbles something that you barely catch, "I don't want to be pale, Dave."
That's the second time he's used your first name in this ja,. He almost never uses your first name, so it caught your attention, but you don't say anything about it.
"Why not?"
"Reasons."
"Reasons?"
"Reasons."
"Care to explain these reasons?"
"No."
You frown, thought Karkat can't see it. His stubbornness could really get on your nerves sometimes.
"You think I don't think I would make a good moirail?"
"You are a good moirail, for a human. But I don't want us to be moirails."
"I never said we had to be moirails," you tell Karkat, pulling him away from you by his shoulders. "Now tell me what the fuck is going on with you."
You see something flicker in Karkat's eyes, and he sounds pained when he says, "I can't."
You huff, squeezing his shoudlers tighter.
"Why. Not?" You add emphasis to each word. "Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you, but it's not that simple!"
"Okay, if you can't tell me, then show me!" you demand.
Everything from there is slow motion. Karkat finally looks you in the eyes (or as well as he could through your shades), shrugs your hands off his shoulders, and then takes your shades off. You would've flipped, but the next moves of his catch you off guard. One of his hands goes to the nape of your neck, the other resting on your chest. The world spins as Karkat pushes you onto your back, and before you can react or move away, Karkat presses his lips against yours. Time seems to freeze just then, what with the way the moment is dragged out.
You don't know when you had closed your eyes, but as you felt Karkat pull away, they open. And what you see, the look on Karkat's face, it had some feeling surging through you, a feeling you couldn't immediately place. As the coolkid you are, you feel your stoic facade breaking. Karkat just looks so scared. And that scares you. It looks like he would give way if you did so much as breathe on him.
You feel like if you don't reassure the troll now, you'll never get the chance. He'll never know the truth, never know what you've been hiding for so long. Never now exactly how much he means to you. So you do just that, reassure him. Lean forward and lock your lips together again, this time, reciprocation from both sides.
You can feel a chance in Karkat too, he isn't so hesitant. No, instead, he puts a lot of passion into it, and you've never felt so good in your life. Or happy, for that matter. You feel so happy, like a lot of pressure has been lifted from your shoulders. After all, you're finally expressing all the feelings you've had for Karkat that have been covered up all this time.
When you finally part, feeling lightheaded from lack of air, you see the biggest , most truly hapy smile you've ever laid eyes on from the troll. But the smile falters as Karkat is filled with false doubt. You've always hated how much he's always doubted himself, and any happiness bestowed upon him. You're quick to use words to get that smile back.
"I fucking love you Karkat. I really do," you tell him, not able to keep a grin off of your own face.
His face, eyes most notably, are lit up with what you're sure is pure happiness.
"You do?" the way his eyes shine is just like one of his romcoms. It's so cheesy, you almost laugh.
"Yes Karkat, I do."
"You'd better commit to this and be my matesprit, fucker," he tells you with an actual giggle.
"Of course, I think we can arrange that," you tell him with a smirk. He snuggles against you, much out of his usual personality, but you appreciate it anyways. You like the cuddly fluffy side of him just as much as the one that argues. No, you love everything about Karkat Vantas.
"Good," Karkat says affirmatively. "I love you, Dave." That last part is softer, but if anything, one hundred more times sincere.
"I love you too, Kitkat."
More AN: I showed this to one of my friends, and she laughed a lot because it ended with the word 'Kitkat'.
So anyways, despite that, and also despite having like, a million fics in progress right now, I'll probably post the first chapter of my main focus one soon. I only have one other chapter besides the first one completed, so keeping that in mind, I have no idea how often I'll update it. I'll do my best to do at least one update a month though. Being a fanfiction writer in high school is hard, especially when you're taking classes like Japanese and Psychology. Bluh. Anyways, I'll stop complaining and ranting at you all. But I gotta do it somewhere, right? Heh...