Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Harry Potter stuff is J.K. Rowling's.
Harry in Las Vegas
Harry Potter awoke on a fine summer morning and reflected on all his previous adventures. He seemed to do that every summer. Just a month ago he had graduated with special wizard honors from Hogwarts School and had been instrumental in finally destroying the evil Lord Voldemort, whom no one was afraid to name any more. Unfortunately, during the battle several of Harry's associates were zapped by enemy fire. Here is the inventory of those people: Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, Cho Chang, and Cedric Diggory's younger brother. Nevertheless, he still had his two best friends, Ron and Hermione, and since today was his 18th birthday, he was more concerned with cake and presents than he was with grief for dead people.
Harry no longer lived with his aunt and uncle. They had been killed almost immediately after Voldemort rose to power again. His cousin Dudley had joined a circus and was proclaimed to be "equivalent to an adult killer whale" in weight and looks. At the moment Harry was at a hotel in Las Vegas, ready to go downstairs and use magic to win muggle money in the slot machines. It was an empty existence, but Harry hadn't yet thought of anything else to do with his life.
As Harry was getting out of the shower, Ron and Hermioen apparated into his room, carrying cake and presents. "Well, hello my friends!" said Harry, quickly putting on a towel.
"Sorry, Harry, we thought you'd be in the casino." Ron replied quickly.
"I was out at a party last night. Why would I be awake so early anyway. It's not like I have a quidditch match to go to." Harry responded annoyedly.
"We just came to surprise you for your birthday. Well, Hermione, I guess that's what we get for trying to be nice to 'famous Harry Potter'."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, calm down. Harry, happy birthday. I brought you these books of complicated spells to humiliate you into admitting yet again that I'm much smarter than you. Are you learning a lot this summer?"
"Plenty."
"Such as?"
"Muggles are stupid. They put their money in machines, knowing it will never come out again."
Hermione assumed a stern look. "Harry, I think what you're doing is wrong. What would the Minister of Magic say if he knew you were using your wizard powers to win money in muggle casinos?"
"Ron hasn't told him, has he?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Why does everyone talk about me in third person?" Ron asked, jumping into the conversation once again. "Of course I haven't told Percy about Harry's gambling problem. He wouldn't believe me anyway. He still thinks I purposely cursed him during the battle with Voldemort. Damn bastard!"
"Shut up, Ron!" Harry and Hermione said simultaneously before returning to their own conversation. But when Ron began to sulk, Harry tought it would be best to appease him before he threw a tantrum.
"Don't worry, Ron. We still respect you. And if Percy really bothers you, we can hire Malfoy to knock him off for you."
"Draco Malfoy?"
"The very same. He's gotten out of the pathetic resurrected Voldemort supporters group and started the wizard mafia."
Hermione suddenly had a very dreamy look which did not please Ron at all. Harry, sensing that his comment about Malfoy was triggering a fight, had a sudden idea. "Let's go down to the casino. I'll teach you the tricks of winning."
* * * * *
"Um...can I see your ID...sir?" The security guard had hardly finished speaking when Ron, Harry, and Hermione pulled out their wands in classic Western fashion and cast a stupidity spell on him. He spent the rest of his shift talking to inaminate objects, to the great delight of the three wizards.
"This machine," said Harry knowingly, "can be controlled by a simple spell."
"Oooh", responded Hermione, finally feeling as though her years of school had had a purpose.
Harry took a muggle coin out of his pocket and put it in the slot machine. Instead of pulling the lever at the side, he tapped the machine with his wand and muttered some words, "draco dormiens oogly boblioe."
"Harry, that wasn't a spell," Ron said angrily, "that's . . ." But what it was Harry did not find out at that time because a light flashed and a load of muggle money spewed forth to bury Ron.
"Awmff...helffff!" said Ron's squealy voice from under the mound of coins.
"Oh, Harry, you've transfigured Ron into money. That's very advanced and illegal magic. I'm surprised that you could do it without both Ron and I disparaging you," Hermione said in about one second. Once Harry deciphered what she had said, he responded.
"Oh, Hermione, you're worse than a muggle sometimes. Ron is merely trapped under the crushing weight of this money that I won."
Hermione gasped and started digging through the coins. "Where is he? Where is he? I'll kill you, Harry! I'll kill you!"
"Do you realize you're saying everything twice?"
"Damn you, Harry Potter! Damn you!"
"Yeah, I agree!" said Ron, having just emerged from the pile of coins. Hermione seemed relieved briefly, but quickly became stern and annoying again.
"That wasn't a very good idea. Supposing a teacher had caught you."
"For the last time, we're not in school any more!!!!!!!" Harry and Ron both yelled, but at slightly different times so that Hermione couldn't understand either of them.
Now if you've supposed that all of this happened without drawing the attention of anyone in the rather crowded casino, you're right. They are all unimportant background characters. But even backdrops cannot ignore wizards who take their wands out for the second time in five minutes, and this is what Harry, Ron, and Hermione did when they saw numerous darkly clad security guards walking toward them from every corner of the room. Even the brainwashed muggles at the slot machines could not avoid this scene.
"Congratulations, kids, you won the $100 million jackpot in addition to this immovable pile of money. Just have to make sure you're twenty-one."
"We're twenty-one" Harry said without being echoed by anyone. Ron and Hermione, though they had not been scared of the security guards before, suddenly had an odd premonition that something deeply strange was happening.
"Let's see your ID then, Harry," said the conceited security guard, conceited because he knew Harry's name was Harry and knew that Harry didn't know the origin of that knowledge.
Then Harry pulled out his wand, which was somehow back in his pocket and pointing it at the man in front of him, smirked and said, "Here's my ID, fool." Harry was astonished when the guard, whose name tag suggested that he was called Bob, pulled out his own wand and cast a paralyzing astonishment spell on Ron and Hermione. This had little additional effect. Harry realized he was alone, but he wouldn't let that scare him. "So, Bob, I guess it's down to you and me, and your many allies."
"That's right, Harry, you're just like your father."
"Everyone says that. What does it mean anyway?"
"We're just trying to give you a sense of identity." Bob looked as though he would say more but paused when a tall dark figure appeared behind him. Harry saw that this person, or whatever it was, was wearing a pinstriped cloak pulled down over his head. He also had a hat on, but that's insignificant.
"Oh no!" Harry said astonishedly, "It's the new Minister of Magic."
"It surely is," said Percy Weasley, throwing back the hood of his cloak and knocking the precariously placed hat to the floor. Eyeing Harry and his pile of money suspiciously, Percy took a notebook out of his pocket and began checking things off. "Well, Harry, you just earned yourself four weeks in Azkaban. Who's stupid now?"
Harry in Las Vegas
Harry Potter awoke on a fine summer morning and reflected on all his previous adventures. He seemed to do that every summer. Just a month ago he had graduated with special wizard honors from Hogwarts School and had been instrumental in finally destroying the evil Lord Voldemort, whom no one was afraid to name any more. Unfortunately, during the battle several of Harry's associates were zapped by enemy fire. Here is the inventory of those people: Sirius Black, Albus Dumbledore, Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, Cho Chang, and Cedric Diggory's younger brother. Nevertheless, he still had his two best friends, Ron and Hermione, and since today was his 18th birthday, he was more concerned with cake and presents than he was with grief for dead people.
Harry no longer lived with his aunt and uncle. They had been killed almost immediately after Voldemort rose to power again. His cousin Dudley had joined a circus and was proclaimed to be "equivalent to an adult killer whale" in weight and looks. At the moment Harry was at a hotel in Las Vegas, ready to go downstairs and use magic to win muggle money in the slot machines. It was an empty existence, but Harry hadn't yet thought of anything else to do with his life.
As Harry was getting out of the shower, Ron and Hermioen apparated into his room, carrying cake and presents. "Well, hello my friends!" said Harry, quickly putting on a towel.
"Sorry, Harry, we thought you'd be in the casino." Ron replied quickly.
"I was out at a party last night. Why would I be awake so early anyway. It's not like I have a quidditch match to go to." Harry responded annoyedly.
"We just came to surprise you for your birthday. Well, Hermione, I guess that's what we get for trying to be nice to 'famous Harry Potter'."
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, calm down. Harry, happy birthday. I brought you these books of complicated spells to humiliate you into admitting yet again that I'm much smarter than you. Are you learning a lot this summer?"
"Plenty."
"Such as?"
"Muggles are stupid. They put their money in machines, knowing it will never come out again."
Hermione assumed a stern look. "Harry, I think what you're doing is wrong. What would the Minister of Magic say if he knew you were using your wizard powers to win money in muggle casinos?"
"Ron hasn't told him, has he?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Why does everyone talk about me in third person?" Ron asked, jumping into the conversation once again. "Of course I haven't told Percy about Harry's gambling problem. He wouldn't believe me anyway. He still thinks I purposely cursed him during the battle with Voldemort. Damn bastard!"
"Shut up, Ron!" Harry and Hermione said simultaneously before returning to their own conversation. But when Ron began to sulk, Harry tought it would be best to appease him before he threw a tantrum.
"Don't worry, Ron. We still respect you. And if Percy really bothers you, we can hire Malfoy to knock him off for you."
"Draco Malfoy?"
"The very same. He's gotten out of the pathetic resurrected Voldemort supporters group and started the wizard mafia."
Hermione suddenly had a very dreamy look which did not please Ron at all. Harry, sensing that his comment about Malfoy was triggering a fight, had a sudden idea. "Let's go down to the casino. I'll teach you the tricks of winning."
* * * * *
"Um...can I see your ID...sir?" The security guard had hardly finished speaking when Ron, Harry, and Hermione pulled out their wands in classic Western fashion and cast a stupidity spell on him. He spent the rest of his shift talking to inaminate objects, to the great delight of the three wizards.
"This machine," said Harry knowingly, "can be controlled by a simple spell."
"Oooh", responded Hermione, finally feeling as though her years of school had had a purpose.
Harry took a muggle coin out of his pocket and put it in the slot machine. Instead of pulling the lever at the side, he tapped the machine with his wand and muttered some words, "draco dormiens oogly boblioe."
"Harry, that wasn't a spell," Ron said angrily, "that's . . ." But what it was Harry did not find out at that time because a light flashed and a load of muggle money spewed forth to bury Ron.
"Awmff...helffff!" said Ron's squealy voice from under the mound of coins.
"Oh, Harry, you've transfigured Ron into money. That's very advanced and illegal magic. I'm surprised that you could do it without both Ron and I disparaging you," Hermione said in about one second. Once Harry deciphered what she had said, he responded.
"Oh, Hermione, you're worse than a muggle sometimes. Ron is merely trapped under the crushing weight of this money that I won."
Hermione gasped and started digging through the coins. "Where is he? Where is he? I'll kill you, Harry! I'll kill you!"
"Do you realize you're saying everything twice?"
"Damn you, Harry Potter! Damn you!"
"Yeah, I agree!" said Ron, having just emerged from the pile of coins. Hermione seemed relieved briefly, but quickly became stern and annoying again.
"That wasn't a very good idea. Supposing a teacher had caught you."
"For the last time, we're not in school any more!!!!!!!" Harry and Ron both yelled, but at slightly different times so that Hermione couldn't understand either of them.
Now if you've supposed that all of this happened without drawing the attention of anyone in the rather crowded casino, you're right. They are all unimportant background characters. But even backdrops cannot ignore wizards who take their wands out for the second time in five minutes, and this is what Harry, Ron, and Hermione did when they saw numerous darkly clad security guards walking toward them from every corner of the room. Even the brainwashed muggles at the slot machines could not avoid this scene.
"Congratulations, kids, you won the $100 million jackpot in addition to this immovable pile of money. Just have to make sure you're twenty-one."
"We're twenty-one" Harry said without being echoed by anyone. Ron and Hermione, though they had not been scared of the security guards before, suddenly had an odd premonition that something deeply strange was happening.
"Let's see your ID then, Harry," said the conceited security guard, conceited because he knew Harry's name was Harry and knew that Harry didn't know the origin of that knowledge.
Then Harry pulled out his wand, which was somehow back in his pocket and pointing it at the man in front of him, smirked and said, "Here's my ID, fool." Harry was astonished when the guard, whose name tag suggested that he was called Bob, pulled out his own wand and cast a paralyzing astonishment spell on Ron and Hermione. This had little additional effect. Harry realized he was alone, but he wouldn't let that scare him. "So, Bob, I guess it's down to you and me, and your many allies."
"That's right, Harry, you're just like your father."
"Everyone says that. What does it mean anyway?"
"We're just trying to give you a sense of identity." Bob looked as though he would say more but paused when a tall dark figure appeared behind him. Harry saw that this person, or whatever it was, was wearing a pinstriped cloak pulled down over his head. He also had a hat on, but that's insignificant.
"Oh no!" Harry said astonishedly, "It's the new Minister of Magic."
"It surely is," said Percy Weasley, throwing back the hood of his cloak and knocking the precariously placed hat to the floor. Eyeing Harry and his pile of money suspiciously, Percy took a notebook out of his pocket and began checking things off. "Well, Harry, you just earned yourself four weeks in Azkaban. Who's stupid now?"