BVQA: This is a reposting of a section of Multiverse, which is a birthday fanfic for ZADRgir55. To spare you the details, I love vampires. I love them so much that I think every fandom deserves an excellent vampire AU. I don't mean a story where the characters get bitten and turned, I mean a story that takes place in a completely different universe.

A warning: this is, in fact, ZADR. I don't ship it, ZADRgir55 does, hence the name, and therefore I wrote some anyway. For non-shippers who're here because they like vampires, I can only say that if a non-shipper wrote it, a non-shipper can read it.

Dib's breathing was heavy as he slowly peeked around the doorframe. Nothing. The room on the other side was devoid of life, the few pieces of furniture covered with sheets that had long since been turned gray with dust. It looked as if the room hadn't been disturbed in a long, long time. Fine by him. Dib took a deep breath, calmed himself down, and quietly padded through the doorway. The many silver buckles on his nearly-floor-length black trench coat made tiny clinking noises as he walked, mirroring the belts wrapped around the tops of his boots. Black cargo pants and five or six black leather belts reached over his midriff and nearly covered his blue t-shirt, leaving only the eyes of the face printed across his chest to peak out timidly. To be honest, he was scared as heck too. . . but the fact that every single buckle or belt he wore also held a holster or sheathe for some sort of weapon boosted his courage considerably.

Think, Dib. You know he's in here. The only question is, where? This room doesn't show any signs of disturbance at all. . .

Dib shut his eyes briefly, tilting his head to one side and listening intently. Futile, he knew, but maybe he'd pick up on something, anything. He was a vampire slayer, for God's sake. He was supposed to have ridiculously enhanced senses, so he could track down the freaking parasites and do his job, but no. Instead he was stuck doing things the hard way, and the only thing he could hear was the old mansion creaking as it was battered by the wind.

At least, Dib thought it was because of the wind. He couldn't be sure though. What if those rhythmic creaks were actually bare feet padding over old wooden floorboards. . ? Dib quickly slipped further into the room, his heart picking up its pace, and turned to he could see both doors to the room. This way, if anyone was coming Dib would know immediately.

Don't say 'anyone', you know who it'll be.

Dib pursed his lips and popped the catch on one of the holsters slung around his waist, the one that contained the silver-tipped stake, readying himself for a quick draw if necessary. Just a precaution. He certainly wasn't scared of the sound of an old house creaking in the wind, even if he was after the oldest and most dangerous vampire he'd ever come across. No worries there. All Dib had to do was find him. He'd managed to track the vampire across continents, he could definitely search the single mansion he'd narrowed it down to.

Dib bit his lower lip as it dawned on him that maybe the vampire had escaped through the woods when Dib entered the house, then shook the thought off. He'd spent a lot of time profiling this one, and it would never run from a fight, even one it had no chance of winning.

Alright, I've checked every room in the house, and the vampire isn't here. Only it has to be. Think, stupid! What do I know about vampires?

They were crafty, first of all. Smart, clever, and good at manipulating people. He'd learned that much over a year ago, back when he'd just started tracking his current target. A girl named Tak had joined him in hunting down vampires, had gotten him in the same room with the vampire he was currently after. . . and was then revealed to be a vampire herself, trying to get some revenge on an old enemy. It was hard for Dib to get over that, the false friendship that was one of the first real person-to-person relationships he'd ever had, but when the night was over he'd walked away with Tak's blood on his hands and one less vampire to worry about.

Now he just had to slay the other one who'd been there that day.

Dib sighed, reattached the cover on his stake, and turned to leave the room. He'd do another sweep of the rooms, then figure out a plan from there. Dib hesitated at the doorway, glancing at his boots to make sure he didn't trip over the frame, and froze. His heart picked up the pace again, fighting against his ribcage. He'd been looking around the house, at the furniture, the walls, the ceilings, but not where he should have been looking. The sheets covering the furniture had been gray with dust, undisturbed, so why. . .

. . .why weren't his boots covered in dust as well?

"I take it by how fast your heart's skipping you just noticed why there aren't any footprints. Took you long enough."

Dib spun around at the sound of the young voice, frantically scanning the room. He knew that voice. He knew that strange, unplaceable accent. Where had it come from? He fumbled for his stake, groping blindly, but someone caught at his wrist. Someone with cold hands.

"You're. . . right behind me, aren't you," Dib said quietly, fear and annoyance taking equal turns in his tone.

"Maaaybe. . ." The word was breathed in Dib's ear, just above his throat, and he jerked away instinctively. The teen behind him didn't relinquish his grip on Dib's wrist and they wound up standing at arms length from each other, eyes locked and holding.

The vampire was wearing a confident, smug expression on his overly pale features, mismatched eyes slanted up at Dib. One eye was a beautiful emerald green and the other a dark red, like crushed rubies or maybe dried blood. His black hair had a shock of green dye running through it, a new development since Dib had last seen him, but the way it was cut was much the same- loose, long, and hanging in his eyes. He wouldn't stand out much in a goth club, or maybe in Emos R Us, since his current outfit was all chains, crosses, ripped black skinny jeans, combat boots laced to his knees, a t-shirt with a skull, and three hoops through his left ear. Vampires were rumored to be inhumanly attractive. Dib could definitely confirm that.

"Hi, Zim," Dib whispered. The other teen smirked, flashing a pair of fangs like pearly razors, and dropped his wrist. Dib wasted no time putting distance between them, but he realized the effort was basically useless since he was backing into a closed-off space anyway.

"Hi, Mr. Paranormal Investigator. Or are you going by 'vampire slayer' now? You never were too good with the research, just wanted to get your hands into another species' guts. . ."

Dib scowled. "That's not true!" He snapped, but Zim just shook his head.

"Stupid, stupid hyuman. . ." he mused. His accent came in heavy on the word 'human', one of his strange little quirks. Certainly made him easy to find, though.

"I'm not the one who got tracked down by a teenager," Dib slowly reached for his stake, trying to sneak the movement past Zim by hiding it behind words. No such luck. The next instant, Dib was slamming against the wall, wrists caught and held by Zim's hands. He could hear his stake clattering to the ground.

"Don't. Even. Think about it, Dib-filth," Zim hissed in his ear. Dib struggled to keep his breathing even, the backs of his hands and his shoulders stinging from colliding with the wall. Zim was usually like this- cool, calm and charming one minute, and the next charged with anger and violent impulses. Crazy? Yes. Whatever training new vampires had to go through had left Zim with only half his sanity intact, and barely that at times. That was why Dib was currently panicking. Zim could be planning anything from murder to a tea party at this point, and Dib couldn't do a thing about it. In every scenario of this meeting he'd envisioned, he'd had his stake at the ready and Zim had been on the receiving end of it.

"So, what've you been up to since we last saw each other?" Zim wondered absently, back in his semi-calm mood from earlier. Then he buried his nose in the crook of Dib's neck. Crap. Crap! Not good! Dib could already feel his heart starting to speed up from the unwanted contact, probably making Zim hungrier, and hearing the vampire taking in his scent was not helping him calm down. Feeling deathly cold flesh sliding over his own, warmer skin was. . .

Freaking distract him already! "Uh, not much, just tracking you down. How's Gir?"

Zim snorted, but pulled back slightly to answer. Dib let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He'd half expected Zim to skip the formalities and just sink his fangs into his neck.

"Gir is as annoying as ever, but what else is new? Serves me right for agreeing to travel with that stupid toddler zombie."

Ah, yes, Gir. Zim's assistant slash eternal pain in the butt. Dib had often known of vampires traveling with zombies as their 'minions', it was just kind of how things worked, but he'd never heard of any vampire teaming up with a zombie as. . . strange. . . as Gir. Silver hair, pale blue eyes, and skin that had decayed to a stomach-churning grayish color all added up to an acceptable zombie appearance, but the considerable youth of the corpse added up with his reluctance to hurt anyone and general insanity meant that Gir had been on his own until he bumped into Zim. Why Zim would put up with him was beyond Dib. Even though he got along well enough with the little zombie, much better than he got along with his master in fact, Dib couldn't imagine actually living with him. He'd probably kill himself after a few days.

Dib noticed Zim starting to slip back down to his throat so he hurriedly continued the 'conversation' they were having. If he could just hold out until Zim was distracted enough that he could break free. . .

"Where is Gir? Didn't see him around or anything. . ." Dib accompanied the statement with a nervous chuckle. Zim accompanied his with an annoyed sigh, pulling back and holding Dib at arms length. Much as he hated to say it, Dib had to admit this felt kind of. . . intimate. Zim caging him in with his arms, holding his wrists, staring at him with those weirdly intense eyes of his.

"He's off with Mimi. You know, Tak's zombie. Not my idea of course. . . Gir invited her along."

"And what Gir wants, Gir gets," Dib said, laughing softly. Zim grinned back, somewhat sheepish.

"Pretty much. Thank Irk he usually just wants tacos."

"Yeah," Dib and Zim looked at each other, smiling softly. Then Dib remembered who he was talking to and the absent friendship of the moment drained from the air between them. This was Zim. Zim. The vampire who was currently trying to kill him. Yeah, that guy. That being said, Dib could feel the grip on his wrists loosening slightly, the pressure diminishing as Zim stopped focusing. Dib took a deep breath. . .

. . .and twisted, yanking his wrists free and dropping to the floor. He rolled, ignoring Zim's shout of surprise, and grabbed for his stake. If he could get it while Zim was still distracted, he could-

Zim's combat boot landed on his wrist, rough sole digging into his skin. Dib gritted his teeth and refused to acknowledge the pain. He wasn't going to give Zim the satisfaction.

"Well you're putting up quite the fight, stinkbeast. It would be almost admirable if you weren't a filthy hyuman," Dib glared up at the vampire pinning him down, tugging at his wrist. It didn't budge. Dib hadn't expected it to.

Neither was he expecting it when Zim yanked him up by the collar of his shirt, holding him so their noses almost touched. "Don't try that again, or I swear I'll kill you," he growled. Psycho Zim was back, and Dib was probably a moron for saying what he said next.

"You're planning on killing me anyway, so I don't exactly have much to lose. Or were you just feeling snacky earlier?" The sarcasm was evident and not appreciated.

Zim's eyes narrowed. Ooh, he was pissed. "Maybe I'm feeling 'snacky' now. Or do you just want to die that much that you'd actually provoke me into doing it?"

Dib sucked in a breath to say sorry, but Zim shoved him, hard, and he went tumbling backwards over the sheet-covered couch. He landed with a thud, sending up a thick cloud of dirt, feeling himself choke on it. His hands slid over the sheets as he tried to push himself up, getting no grip on the slick layers of dust.

Then Zim was on top of him, growling deep in his throat. Dib froze, looking up, seeing the vampire's murderous expression. He scrambled for an apology.

"Sor-"

Too late. Zim was at his throat, inhaling the scent of Dib's blood. Dib struggled, trying to get away, but then Zim's fingers were digging into Dib's shoulders, holding him down. "Quit squirming," Zim spat, lips moving over Dib's skin. He nosed under the high collar of Dib's trench coat. Oh, God, Zim was really going to bite him. He actually was. This was happening. Zim was lapping at his throat, searching for a good spot and tasting Dib's skin. Ah, frick-

Dib flinched as Zim nuzzled into the hollow between his shoulder and neck, the place Dib was so desperately trying to shrug his shoulders up to hide. The vampire was slowing down, hesitating over a single spot, and Dib fought to get away. He knew what was coming next, and there it was, sharp enamel on skin, scraping shallow cuts and then-

Flirk, that frickin' hurts. Dib's hands clenched on the fabric beneath him and he bit his lip to keep from crying out, tasting blood and barely registering the irony. Zim's fangs had finally broken skin, ripping through and making Dib's blood spill from the wound. Why anyone thought that this was romantic, Dib had no idea. He was blinking tears out of his eyes and he felt like someone had stabbed him in the throat. Oh, wait, someone had. And getting stabbed in the throat hurts.

Dib sucked in a breath, feeling quick, sharp pulls at his neck as his blood was pulled forcefully into Zim's mouth. He could hear the vampire's gulps echoing in his ears, and as dark spots danced at the corners of his vision he wished Zim would slow the flirk down. Dib's head was swimming. His mind was starting to drift. He thought he heard himself telling Zim to stop, over and over again, but it was distant and fuzzy in his ears. The only thing he could hear clearly was the sound of Zim's repeated swallows.

When did it get so dark in here? Dib wondered absently. Maybe that's just me. . . oh well, at least I've finally gone numb. . . ow! Oh, flirk, that hurts. . . Zim had dug his fangs in deeper, seemingly still hungry. How much can that vampire drink, anyway? You'd think he'd be done by now. . .

Dib was slumping against the couch now, swallowed up by dizziness and blood loss. He couldn't remember trying to pull Zim away, but the fact that his fingers were tangled limply in Zim's hair would seem to support that assumption. When was the stupid fangboy going to stop? Dib felt he was about to pass ou. . .

. . .Dib woke with a start, trying and failing to bolt upright. The second his head came up black spots ate up his vision and he went right back down again. The first thing he thought was that there was too much dust. The next thing was a string of mental curses. The right side of his neck ached with the stiff burn of sore, punctured muscle and he could feel flakes of dry blood irritating his skin.

"Zim, you jerk," he muttered.

"I didn't take that much, you wimp."

Dib cracked one eye open, glaring up into the vampire's shadowy face. Apparently he was sprawled over Zim's lap. Lovely. "I can't feel my feet."

Zim shrugged. "I was hungry," he said noncommittally.

"How much, Zim?" Dib wasn't letting him off that easy. He was understandably pissed, and since Zim was out of maniac mode he could push this further than he would be able to otherwise.

"Uh. . . a pint or so?"

"Felt more like three." Dib opened both eyes and scowled. At least Zim had the decency to try to lie, although it would make Dib feel better if he seemed even slightly embarrassed. Who was he kidding, though? Zim was never embarrassed about anything, ever. Brash and to the point, that was Zim.

"Eh, whatever. You've got blood on your lip." Dib didn't register the implications of Zim's comment until the vampire's lips were hovering over his.

"Wha-" Dib began, then broke off. It's hard to talk when a vampire's trying to eat your mouth. No way was Dib admitting this was a kiss. Not even when Zim pulled back and Dib tried to yank him back down again.

"Ah ah ah, Dib-smell," Zim began, pulling back with a smirk. Stupid jerk of a vampire. "You want some more of this, you stop trying to run me through with a fence post. That simple."

Dib growled under his breath. "You owe me. You just drank, like, three pints of my blood."

"Three and a half," Zim absently corrected him, slim fingers gently toying with Dib's dark hair. "Give me a break, it's been months."

Dib could feel a headache starting up already as he pushed his annoyance down. Today had already proven that getting mad at Zim didn't get you anywhere at all. "Three and a half. . . no wonder I can't move. . ." He muttered. Zim cheered up immensely.

"You can't move?" He asked with a mischievous gleam in his mismatched eyes and a smile that was worthy of his fangs. Crud.

Dib drew breath to speak. "Zim, don't you dare-"

Too late. Zim had picked him up and was unceremoniously dumping him back on the couch. Dib had time to notice that both his and Zim's jackets were missing before Zim flopped down on top of him, wrapping his arms around Dib's waist and snuggling up against his chest. Dib blew out a loud, annoyed sigh, bringing his left hand down to cradle the back of Zim's head.

"I don't suppose we're going to be kissing or anything. . ." He muttered ruefully. He could feel Zim's cold breath through his tee shirt as the vampire replied.

"I won, food-beast, so I get to be happy and you have to deal with it. If you win, then we can 'kiss' or whatever it is you humans do."

Dib frowned. "If I win, you'll be dead."

"Exactly. Now go to sleep."

Dib opened his mouth to protest, but yawned instead. To flirk with stupid vampire powers of suggestion. He was well aware that when he woke up, Zim would be long gone and Dib would have to spend the next few months tracking him down again. Lather, rinse, repeat. That was their relationship in a nutshell.

Sill, as Dib drifted off, he couldn't help but hope this would be the time he woke up and Zim would still be there. . .

BVQA: Hey, here's a challenge for you people! Write a vampire AU, a real AU, where it's actually an alternate universe and the characters haven't just been bitten. Feel free to use my vampire Zim's appearance, if you want. Just get out there and infect some people!

There'll be another installment at some point in the near future. Stay tuned.