INSECURITIES

Just a short story…well, more of a drabble really….

I jus' wrote this so that if anyone visits my profile, they wouldn't think I'm a loser….if I wrote this, the they could see that I've published two stories…hahaha…I think lack of sleep is getting to my head….!

DISCLAIMER: what? This wasn't my theme of story in the first place! So how could I own KWMS? Don't be ridiculous!

Jus' read…though it may be a little lame…..

A lovely night, thought Misaki Ayuzawa as she stood on the terrace of the 22 floor building. She felt the cool air brush against her cheek. Nights are always the best. During the night, I can sleep and forget about everything. And I can even forget the fact that Usui is getting married.

Yeah, that was right. Usui was getting married…and that to another woman! How and why did this happen? Well, let me tell you the whole story.

It all began when Usui's family decided to reunite with him. Although Usui refused to make truce with a family which had ignored him for an entire 16 years, they threatened to make him drop out of school. Usui had to agree. There was no other way. A few days after all this happened; Usui didn't talk or make any contact with Misaki. She was puzzled and tried to talk to him only to stare at his retreating back. She finally decided to give him the cold shoulder and ignored him too. Then finally, Honoka (maid latte) informed her that Usui had been, and had told her to pass on to Misaki that he was getting married this November to a certain what's-her-name. The engagement ceremony was next week and she was invited. At first, she considered tearing up the invitation, but on second thought, she made up her mind; she would go. She would go and find out what had changed his behavior so drastically.

Here she was, on the engagement night, at the engagement hall building. She had greeted the would-be-wife with a brief smile and a small present and had come away to the terrace with a glass of red-something. She couldn't stand it. Seeing that what's-her-name being so mushy and gooey towards Usui…ugh! Sickening!

She took out a high school photo of the four of them at a camp; herself, Usui, Sakura and Shizuko. They were smiling happily…well, the others were. Misaki was scowling because Usui had made her sit on his back.

"Your entire fault". She blinked back tears. "Why did you do this? One minute we were laughing, and the next you walked away, not even looking back to see if I was following! Was it….was it…because you lost interest in teasing a girl who refused to confess to you? Oh, so you were just playing with me…all those times you said you loved me…I believed you too, you know! You are such a damn traitor! Black-faced, perverted, outer space alien! Idiot Usui! I hate you! And this time I mean it! Two timer! You-"

She broke off. She had run out of words. She blinked back more tears. Feeling like it, she began to sing:

Doushite? [why?]

Kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou? [why did I fall in love with you?]

Donna ni toki ga nagarete kimi wa zutto? [no matter how much time has passed]

Koko ni iru to, omotetta no ni [I thought that you would always be here]

Demo kimi ga eranda no, wa chigau michi [but you chose a different road]

Doushite? [why?]

Kimi ni nani mo tsutaerarenakattan darou? [why wasn't I able to convey to you?]

Mainichi maiban tsunotekku omoi [my feelings that were growing every day and every night]

Afuradesu kotoba, wakatetta noni [but I know what they won't reach you now]

Doko e iku noni mo issho de [wherever it was, we would be together]

kimi ga iru koto ga, touzen de [it was so natural for you to be with me]

Bokura wa futari de, otonani nate kita [we became adults together]

Demo kimi ga eranda no wa chigau michi [ but you chose a different road]

Doushite? [why?]

Kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou? [why did I fall in love with you?]

Donna ni toki ga nagarete kimi wa zutto? [no matter how much time has passed]

Koko ni iru to, omotetta noni [I thought that you would always be here]

Mou kanawanai [but not anymore]

She couldn't sing anymore. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She cried into the photo, gave it one last look through her teary eyes and flung it down. She watched the photo float down…

"You're a beautiful singer" a voice said.

Misaki turned around so fast that she tripped on her dress and fell.

She made a fast get-up and looked in front. What's-her-name stood there and smiled. She was really beautiful. Flaming red hair dangled round her shoulders and a light green spaghetti strap gown brought out the color of her brown eyes.

Maybe that's why he's marrying her. Misaki thought bitterly. She's definitely prettier than I ever can be.

What's-her-name held out her hand. "I never introduced myself, Ayuzawa-san. Usui's told me a lot about you. You were his best friend in high school?" her eyes twinkled.

Misaki widened her eyes. Usui had gone so far as to mention her to this…this...woman? And, 'best friend'? Ha! She didn't know ANYTHING! If she told this woman what all Usui did to her in high school, she would have a nosebleed! But I'm not so cheap and low, to do something like that.

So Misaki managed a subtle nod of the head and shook the other's outstretched hand. "Yeah, sure. His best friend."

"Hmmm. You must know a lot about him…tell me, sometime okay? I'm Hanabi Miura, by the way" she smiled again. The expression in her eyes softened. "That was a pretty sad song you were singing…your boyfriend?" she asked knowingly.

"Yeah…he treated me like he really loved me, but he went away and married someone else." Misaki lied. "That was last month. So when I came to your engagement, I just remembered it and tears started pouring…" her voice cracked. What a big, fat lie.

If only she knew. If only this Hanabi Miura Takumi knew who exactly I was crying because of…don't stand there and act as if you know and understand everything! You don't know that the Usui Takumi you're swooning over left me like a withered flower!

Go away and let me dry and fall off!

Hanabi nodded and her eyes seemed to say 'yeah, I know…it's happened to me too'. Ugh!

"Well, you better come inside, Ayuzawa-san. It's getting a bit chilly out here, and since you know Usui so well, I would like you to say a few words about him after the engagement to everyone. Are you fine with that? Or is it too much to ask?" Hanabi's eyes pleaded.

Misaki wasn't such a heartless person so as to refuse. She agreed and said, "Well, it's only just a few words…no trouble at all."

Back in the engagement room. It was a sight. Blue streamers and blue balloons and a white board announced "Wishing a Happy Engagement to you!"

Misaki didn't feel like mingling and laughing with Sakura, Shizuko, Suzuna and the others including Boss from maid latte. It all felt nauseatic. She just sat in a corner chair with what looked like 5 or 6 empty glasses. She was holding the 7th glass in her hands and was drinking the same red-liquid. It tasted good and seemed to clear her brain. Only problem; she was feeling a bit drowsy.

Maybe because last night, I didn't sleep well. I had that nightmare where Usui turned into a vampire and drank all my blood. Tch! Dang! If I fall asleep, I won't be able to do the 'say a few words about Usui Takumi mission'! I can go home and sleep once I do that.

They were still giving away gifts and presents to the couple on the stage. She had some time. She called Suzuna over and told her to wake her up after exactly 15 minutes. Suzuna agreed and walked back.

15 minutes ticked away. 20 minutes. 25 minutes. Now 30. Apparently, Suzuna had forgotten to wake her up. When she glanced at the grouchy sleeping face of her sister, she remembered. She promptly went and woke her up. Misaki was all groggy and she had drool on her mouth. After she had gone to the restroom and freshened up, she still felt sleepy.

Eh? That's funny. I'm still sleepy! This can't go on…I have to look fresh or at least 'okay' before I get on stage…why is everything a little blurry now?

As she walked out of the restroom, she heard the well-wishing section being announced.

Now. I should go when they call my name.

They called Usui's family first. Oh! What callous lies they told! At parts like, "I treated him like my own son" and "I loved him more than anything else" and "we were always there for him" Misaki's blood boiled. How untrue! They had never been there for him! Nor had they loved him! They had just disposed him off like some untreated blob of disease!

Next they called friends of family. Misaki felt bored and more and more groggy and found it hard to keep her eyes open. Finally they called friends.

As Suzuna went first (after Misaki had persuaded her to do so as to give her a little more time) Misaki realized she hadn't looked at Usui until now. As she gave him a brief sweep of the eyes, she took in a sharp breath. He looked so kawaii (cute)! Clad in a black tuxedo, he had his hair swept back with a few strands that refused to stay back and hung forward. But aside all that, he looked a lot tensed. He kept shifting his weight from one foot to another and kept rubbing his eyes.

"Now, we call on Misaki Ayuzawa, best friend and supporter of Usui's through all of high school." The mike announced.

At last. Misaki rubbed her own eyes. Now I can get this over with and go home.

As Misaki walked up the steps to her stage, she felt like everyone had multiplied into twos and threes. She tripped and nearly fell but managed to regain most of her sight and walked on. Again when she cleared her throat in front of the mike, she saw two Suzunas, three Shizukos and five Sakuras.

She opened her mouth to speak…

"I hate you, Usui Takumi" and she blacked out.

When she regained consciousness, it was in a white room with herself lying on a bed. She got up quickly only to find herself being pushed back on the bed.

"You shouldn't have drunk so much" Usui smiled.

"Wh-! Wh-where am I? What about the engagement? Where is everyone? What am I doing here?" Misaki looked at him puzzled.

"We're in my apartment. You passed out. Did you even realize what you had been drinking?" Usui's face was amused now.

"Ummmm…sake?"

"No. sweetened alcohol" Usui was laughing now. [Sweetened alcohol? Does something like that even exist? Oh man, I am going nuts…thanks to no sleep!]

"Huh? Anyways, what are you doing here? And where is your Hanabi Miura Takumi?"

"She's no longer my Hanabi Miura nor is she a Takumi" Usui smirked.

'Why? What do you mean?" now Misaki was really confused.

"Lie down, why don't I tell you a story?"

"Wait, wait a minute" they were both sitting in Usui's living room and eating biscuits. "You're telling me, that your family forced you to marry that Hanabi Miura for her money?" Misaki's eyes were wide with disbelief. "Why? But, then why did you agree to this dirty plan? If you didn't like it then…why did you do it?"

"I had to play along. I couldn't let them suspect anything."

"Wait, wait, so you mean, that after you found out your parents plan, you told Hanabi? And she knew? She played along like she was really going to marry you? What did she say?"

"She said, she didn't want to marry a person who's parents were after her money. So that's why she talked to you like that tonight. She was glad that I had told her this before she married me."

"But, why didn't you tell me? You let in everyone else on your plan, but me? Why? If you had told me, I would still have talked to you."

Usui held up two fingers. "Two reasons. One, my parents threatened me that if I talked to you or made contact with you in any way, they'd find a way to throw you out of your house. Two, you would have been uneasy if I told you. You wouldn't play your cards right. They'd suspect something. So you, see, Ayuzawa, I had no choice."

"Sokka [I see]." Misaki mumbled. "But what happened after I blacked out?"

"I made an announcement to my parents that I had found out their plan and would not go ahead with it. Hanabi also, refused openly the marriage plan. Hehe, my parents were dumbstruck. Everyone was shocked. After that, I just took you and came here." Usui grinned.

"Hmmm, what happens now?" Misaki looked up.

Usui rose off his seat and sat next to Misaki. "We get married." he whispered.

"Nani? [What?]" Misaki was so shocked she fell out of her chair. "What do you mean, damn Usui?" her face was a deep red.

Usui grabbed her waist and pulled her close. "Look at your hand."

When Misaki looked at her hand, she got a fright. A ring! An engagement ring! Silver with sapphire stones! Oh my god!

"Misaki," Usui's face was serious now. "Misaki, will you marry me?"

Misaki was dazed and speechless. She didn't know what to say. She still found it hard to swallow. All that was a game he played with his father. But it still hurt me…now that it's game over; he's going to marry me! What should I say?

Tears spilled out of her eyes she managed a weak nod at Usui. Usui hugged her close. When they pulled apart, Misaki walked over to the front of the apartment where there was a glass window stretching from top to bottom. She could see everything. The night was beautiful. Lights shone and cars whizzed by. She sat down on the polished wooden floor. Then she realized.

"USUI TAKUMI! What the hell is this?" she pointed at the oversize pajamas she was wearing.

"You realized just now?" Usui couldn't control his laughter.

"You did this! You pervert! You saw! You idio-!"

Usui had quickly covered her lips with his own. She opened her eyes wide and tried to push him off, but he wouldn't budge. He pressed her lips on his, forcefully and tried to make her respond. Finally, she lost herself and let Usui take control of her completely. Her hands snaked to the back of his neck and up toward his head. She unconsciously grabbed tufts of his hair and pulled him closer. The kiss began as a simple one and ended with what was more than a simple one.

They pulled apart and gazed into each others eyes. "We're going to do that someday, so it isn't a big deal that I saw now…" Usui murmured into her ear. It tickled her and she pushed him off and turned to face the other side, blushing madly.

"But still you're a damn pervert. Where's my other dress?" she demanded, facing him once again. He merely smirked and pushed her down on the floor.

"Why do you want that dress?"

"Be-b-because I have to go home! And I can't go in your pajamas!" her face was now beet red. Usui was leaning over her and she could feel him staring at her intensely. She wasn't looking at him, but she suddenly felt him fall back on the floor. When she opened her eyes, she saw Usui smothering his laughter and clutching his sides.

"Why're you laughing?" she scowled.

"You-you're too funny, Ayuzawa!" he spluttered. "You want to go home at 1 o'clock in the night?" he laughed, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"WHAT! 1 o'clock! Ack!" Misaki was shocked. Did I sleep for such for such a long time? How stupid of me!

Usui had stopped laughing and moved close to Misaki. "You'll stay here for the night, won't you?" his voice was husky.

If there was a color darker than what Misaki's face had turned into now, then you could say she was that.

"N-No way!"

"Ohhhh, Ayuzawa…." Usui moaned and looked at her with puppy dog eyes. Misaki gasped. She couldn't resist that look of his…she gave in.

"Fine then! You sleep on the bed; I'll sleep on the couch! And d-don't come near me! You understand, pervert?" she glared and walked over to the couch. But before she could sit down and settle herself, she was swept off her feet. She squeaked and looked up at Usui's smirking face. He was carrying her princess-hold and walking over to the bed

"Why- what? Let me down you perverted outer space alien!" she started banging his chest. But he just smirked and walked on. When he reached the bed, he put her down and lay down beside her.

"I'm not letting you go now, Ayuzawa…" he said in a sleepy voice and pulled the sheet over them. He tightened his grip on Misaki's waist. And pulled her close. Her face was by now a burning hot stove! He buried his face in the crook of her neck and murmured a sleepy goodnight. Misaki sighed and closed her very, very, very hot eyes.

Morning. It was a dreary day, by the looks of the sky. It was going to rain. Misaki yawned and recalled the events of last night. She immediately blushed when she thought of what happened with Usui. She turned her head to look at him. So kawaii…soft blonde hair…smooth complexion and pink lips…Ack! What was she thinking? And where was she looking? But she couldn't help poking out a finger and touching his hair…then his eyelashes and finally down to his lips. As she touched his lips…

"Kya!" Misaki winced in pain. Usui had opened his eyes and bitten her finger. "When did you wake up?"

"Long before you did. Ohayou Misaki…" he smiled sleepily. He took her finger and kissed it softly. He wrapped his arm around her and hugged her close.

"Hey, let go…I have to get going soon…" Misaki squirmed and slithered trying to get out of his grasp, and he let go.

Misaki was slightly disappointed. She had hoped that he would kiss her….oh, man… what had she become? She wanted Usui to kiss her! She couldn't believe it. But she sat on the edge of the bed for about 10 minutes without saying anything.

Usui was watching her, amused. Finally he asked her, "Why are you sitting like that Ayuzawa?"

"Oh n-nothing! I'll get going now…" and she got up only to be pulled back on the bed. Misaki lay next to Usui and asked him with an annoyed tone, "What?" But Usui was too quick. He smothered her lips by his. He wouldn't let go. He flipped her over and gave her a long kiss. Finally he pulled apart.

"You actually wanted me to kiss you, neh? I can read you like a book, Ayuzawa…" he was smirking.

"N-nothing like that! Get off, you idiot Usui!" Misaki blushed and threw him off her. She got up, brushed [by the way, where did she get the brush from?:] and did her hair which was a mess. Then she stood looking at herself in front of the mirror.

"What's wrong, Ayuzawa?" Usui leaned against the wardrobe.

"I-I have nothing to wear back home…" Misaki said with a pink face.

"Heh, Ayuzawa you're so cute when you blush like that…if you wanted to wear something back home why didn't you ask me with a straight face? Are you shy?" Usui smirked more.

"Just give me something that would fit me, already, Baka! [Idiot]"

Usui opened the wardrobe and took out a bright, flaming orange colored pair of glittering bell bottoms and a shimmering blue shirt.

"You could wear this…" he tried to keep a straight face.

"BAKA! Usui! Give me something decent, damn you!" Misaki had a vein popping out at her temple.

"Alright, alright…" Usui pulled out a black hoodie and a pair of white jeans and held it out. "These are too small for me, they'd fit you…but then you would look good in anything, Ayuzawa, oversize or small…" he gave her one of his killer smiles.

"Urusai [shut up] baka Usui…" Misaki turned away, blushing. After she changed she came out from the bathroom. A perfect fit. The dress wasn't anything expensive, neither was it designer or anything too showy. But still, Usui's eyes widened when he saw her. My clothes. She's wearing my clothes. His brain was screaming.

"Yosh, [okay] I'm going!" Misaki said. "I'll drop by and return the clothes later, Usui." She got going.

"You're not going anywhere without me." Usui chuckled.

"Matte, [wait] you don't have to walk me home, its' unnecessary, I'm perfectly fine-!"

Usui kissed her, a soft sweet kiss and whispered, "But, I want to walk you home, Misaki…please?" Usui widened his eyes and looked at her very solemnly.

Misaki gave in. They both walked, hand in hand, and talked about a lot of things. When they reached Misaki's home, she walked in and told her mom that she was back. Both her mom and Suzuna were in the kitchen and they grinned at the couple.

"Welcome back, Misaki. How was the night?" her mother had a sheepish grin on her face.

"Have you two planned the wedding yet?" Suzuna asked innocently.

Misaki stared in disbelief. "You knew? You knew everything until now and didn't tell me?"

Her mother grinned. Suzuna just stared nonchalantly. Now Usui knew he was in danger.

"USUI TAKUMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

How did you like it? Good? Bad? R&R, that's' all I can ask you to do…I'm reeeeeaaallly tired…*yawn*

'Night everybody…