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He bent down and kissed my cheek. While I knew he was saying goodbye, I felt like things were just beginning. As I looked up into his deep blue eyes for a moment it was like I could read every thought he ever had. He loved me. He was scared too.
The screeching of my alarm pulled me from my dream and I instantly felt the loss. It was the same dream I had every night but it was the best part of my day, the only thing that kept me going. I would get to see him again and in this world, in my dream world, he loved me too.
I kicked the covers off huffing at the thought of the day that awaited me. School – my serious lack of any real friends caused my days to drag on and each day my misery would weigh me down further and further. I used to enjoy school. Well I used to enjoy biology. It was the only class I had with him and everyday he would speak to me as though I was somebody. I mean, I'm not delusional, he didn't like me or anything, that's just how he was, he was well, amazing. He was kind to everyone. He was more than kind to me.
He must have thought I was crazy when he told me he was leaving town and I burst into tears in the middle of biology. But he didn't say anything at first. He just comforted me until class ended then held me in the hall until I stopped sobbing. I remember every word he said to me that day. Hell I replay it every single night in my head.
"Bella I don't understand, why are you crying? I'm seriously not that good at biology; I'm just dragging you down, besides this will free you up for Newton". His lame attempt at bringing humour to this very un-humorous and tremendously embarrassing situation just added to my sadness. I fucking hated Newton and I realised Edward was right, Mike would practically pounce on me on Monday morning. Shit. "I'm sorry Edward, it's not about you" I lied "I'm sorry you had to see this, I'm just kinda having a shitty week". Another lie my week had been fine, until now. Edward smiled at me and I felt my knees go weak. I braced myself against the wall. I had felt this many times before and the last time it happened I ended up on my ass in a mud puddle.
"I'll be lost without you Bella, who will bail me out when I forget to do my homework now?" He lent down and kissed my cheek, my head started to spin and the place on my cheek where his lips touched started to burn. "Be safe Bella". With that he was gone. And it felt like he took my heart with him.
Alright, enough reliving painful memories for now, off to school I told myself. After all it had been 6 months since Edward left and as predicted Mike had taken up residence as my practically illiterate lab partner and I hated him for it. It just reminded me every day exactly how much I missed Edward, he was so smart, so sweet, so hoooootttt! Mike was dirty. He couldn't even spell biology and spent most of each class staring at my boobs and looking for excuses to rub up against me. If it were Edward I would have ripped my shirt off and shaked my shit at him if that was what he wanted. Hell I would have given him a lap dance during class if he asked. But it wasn't Edward. It was Mike. Ugh.
To properly understand my obsession with Edward you must understand that this guy, this god like creature was like the dream. I mean THE DREAM guy. Appearing when you need him the most, making everything ok and then leaving you with the feeling like it never happened. He was too good to be true. He was an enigma of sorts.
I was in love with him from the first moment I saw him. One time I finally decided I was going to take a shot, you know, tell him I like him and I blew it. It was the night of Jessica's sweet sixteenth and I spent like hours dolling myself up, trying on outfits in a lame ass attempt to get him to look at me as more than a lab partner. When I arrived half the youth of Forks was there and they were all pissed, like completely shitfaced. So I decided since everyone else was doing it I would have a little 'liquid courage' to get things started. One hour later and I was a mess. I stumbled through the house practically tripping on myself when I saw him. I got all of two words out before my stomach decided it no longer wanted to be in my body. The only thing I really remember was Edwards cool hand brushing my hair out of my face while I destroyed Jessica's parents sitting room carpet. I was mortified. But Edward said nothing. I vaguely remember him cleaning me up, taking me home and giving Charlie some bullshit story about spiked punch. When I saw him at school the next week he asked if I was ok, when I said I was, thanked him and apologised profusely, that was it. He never brought it up again.
When I replay that night in my head I like to imagine that he took advantage of me a little while he was cleaning me up. It was almost like it really happened. Yeah right, like Edward Cullen would ever take advantage of someone like me, especially while I was covered in vomit. I imagine that his hands lingered a little too long and pressed a little too firmly against my breasts as he wiped my shirt down with a towel. I imagined his strong hands grabbing my hips and pulling me against him as he held me up and tried to smooth the disaster that was my hair. I imagine feeling him, you know, there, as he lifted me off the bathroom counter and I slid down his body to my shaky feet. In my imagination he was long and thick and he was excited.
Great, my morning of daydreaming has not only resulted in me needing to change my soaking panties but now I was going to be late for school.
I pulled on a fresh clean pair of underwear and yanked my skirt down. Stumbling on my way out as I attempted to descend the stairs, throw my bag on my shoulder and put my shoes on all at once. A task for any normal human person but for me it was like I was trying to commit suicide. Luckily I survived, only a minor bruise on my leg where I knocked it on the coffee table on the way out.
When I pulled up at school the parking lot was practically clear. I realised that the bell for first period must have already gone. Shit, Charlie was going to kill me if I got detention. I launched out of my car landing directly into a puddle. Great. Now my shoes were going to be soaking all day. Today was already a disaster and it was only 9.05.
Suddenly I had an odd feeling. Here in the parking lot, still standing in an icy cold puddle, I suddenly felt warm. I spun around thinking I may have been about to be eaten by a bear or something, and there he was. My dream. My Edward. And, if possible, he was even more beautiful than he was last time I saw him.
"Bella! It's so great to see you. I missed you. I am an idiot. Why didn't I get your phone number before I left? Never mind that now, we are back. We moved back, Bella. I never wanted to leave you in the first place and now we are back!" Ah, my dream Edward was rambling. I was beginning to worry for my own health. My fantasies were very vivid and realistic now.
Wake up Bella! You can't spend all day every day of your life dreaming of Edward Cullen, you will never get anything done and having constantly soaking panties is really unhealthy!
"You're not dreaming Bella. Wait...um...you dream about me?" A cheeky smile crept across those beautiful lips and my knees went weak.
It was then I realised that I was not dreaming, Edward was standing right in front of me, and I had just said that out loud.