Chapter 1: Longing
"Darn!" I yelled when Bella beat me again in an arm wrestling match. We had them every month now and I was waiting for her newborn strength to wear off so I could finally be the strongest again.
Edward was laughing. Obviously he'd heard my thoughts. I must sound vain I guess. Gosh, I think Rosalie's wearing off on me.
Edward laughed again.
Yeah? I thought at him, Remember the last time we arm wrestled?
That silenced him. Last time Edward and I had arm wrestled it'd been in a tree and I used too much force and poor little Eddy got thrown down to the ground at 80 miles per hour, causing him to crash into it with such a force that he went half a mile underground. It took him an hour to get out and we've never arm wrestled again.
Edward was furious now. The expression on his face was a mix of anger, embarrassment and revenge. If he was human he'd be more red than Bella when I mentioned innuendo's around her Dad.
Nessie and Jacob came back from the forest just then.
"Hi Mommy! Did you beat Uncle Emmie again?"
"Sure did!" Bella replied, sounding just a tad smug.
Nessie now looked like she was nine years old. Of course she was actually only about a year old, but her timeline is probably the weirdest thing I've seen. And I've seen Rosalie with a beard on.
Edward laughed again.
Speaking of Rose…where was she? I looked around and only saw Bella, Edward, Esme, Nessie and Jacob. She was here a minute ago…
I looked at Edward hoping he'd be able to tell me where she went.
"East." He muttered.
I started to run east, hoping to find her scent. I crossed it about two miles in from the house. It was stronger up in the trees so jumped up to follow it. When I'd gone about 20 miles I found her. She was sitting up in the tallest branch of a tree. I hesitated, wondering if she wanted to be alone or not. I couldn't tell so I climbed up to join her.
"Rose?" I asked about 5 branches from her. She jumped and looked around, relaxing when she saw me.
"Hi Em." she said.
"Mind if I join you?"
"Sure."
I climbed up through the leaves and sat next to her.
"I saw Bella beat you again." she said.
"Yeah…her strength will wear off one day and when that day comes I will be ready." I flexed my arm. Rose laughed but with slightly less enthusiasm than usual.
"Mind telling me why you came here?" I asked, wondering if she would answer.
"She's just so lucky." Rose sighed.
"Who?"
"Bella! She got everything: beauty, grace, Edward, Jacob, Charlie, us and…Nessie."
Ah, so this was what it was about. Rose had always wanted a human life, but she didn't want to give up being a vampire. She wanted what Bella had. She'd give anything, even me, just to be human again, but there was no way back.
"Rose…" she placed her head on my shoulder and sighed again. "Babe, you know it's no good hoping for it. You'll just cut yourself up more and it's not fair if you're mad at Bella."
"I know Emmett and I'm not mad at Bella. She's very lucky and we're lucky to share it for her. I love Nessie but…" She hesitated, knowing she would sound vain, "I wish it was me that got all of that."
I kissed her forehead and sat there with her, looking at the view. When it started to get dark we headed back.
I could see Esme cooking in the kitchen for Jacob.
Nessie was playing with Alice and Bella in the lounge room. Edward was playing his piano; the new piece he'd composed for Renesmee. Jacob was out, probably talking to his pack. I could hear Carlisle on the second level, in his office and Jasper was on the phone, asking about a gift for Alice, not bothering to conceal this fact because well, he's buying for Alice.
We entered the house and Alice nodded her head at Rose. I looked at her in confusion.
"Alice and I are going to go out tonight." She explained.
"Oh, okay." I said.
Alice told Bella and went to get changed.
Rose kissed me and went to get changed as well.
"You going too Bella?" I asked her.
"Nope. I'm going to have a fun night with Nessie."
"But I'm not allowed up later than 12:00. Mom said." Nessie put in.
"Yes, that's because it's a fun night, not morning."
"But you get to stay up later!"
"I don't need sleep and Grandpa is coming around tomorrow so you will need as much sleep as you can get missy!"
Their conversation drifted into the background and I went to talk to Edward.
I thought about my conversation with Rose, knowing that if she found out, she would kill me.
"Ah, yes. I got that in her thoughts as she ran off the morning."
It's not easing though. I thought with Nessie around she'd be happy.
Edward frowned. He'd never had a close connection with Rose but he'd known her longer than me.
What can I do?
"I'll talk to Carlisle." he said.
What about?
"I think there might be a way to go back to being a human. But it'll hurt. A lot."