Disclaimer: Do not own One Piece. A pity.
5 Things Lufy Hates About Sex
1) Luffy hates when Zoro asks stupid questions. "Are you all right? Does it hurt? What do you feel? Do you like it?" Of course, Luffy knows that Zoro asks because Zoro cares about him, but... at the moments like those Luffy wants to say: "Just shut up and fuck me already!" Fortunately, he doesn't have to: Zoro understands the call before Luffy pronounce it... Well, most of the times.
2) Luffy hates that Zoro does not take his shirt off. It's stupid to wear the unbuttoned shirt with no pants or anything, isn't it? Luffy tried to take it off himself, but Zoro always gave him dreadful glares, so the shirt was on... Stupid Zoro. So shy.
3) Luffy hates that there is no place to have sex. Somehow the crew is always somewhere around, and Zoro doesn't want them to know... well, about the relationship between the captain and his first mate. So having sex is not so often...
4) Luffy hates Sanji's smirks and envious sighs. Luffy thinks Sanji knows everything, perhaps because he is so perverted. They haven't talked about it, though. May be it's all Luffy's imagination, but when Sanji sees Luffy and Zoro together he smiles so understanding and turns away to find 'Nami-swaaaan' so fast... Luffy is almost sure that Sanji envies them.
5) Luffy hates to be quiet. Groaning, moaning, stuff like that - Luffy would be happy to let it be, but nobody should know! Even if all of the crew members had a hunch, to suspect and to have a proof is very different. Besides, Zoro wants to keep it secret... And, actually, Luffy too. Because it makes Zoro belongs only to him! Shishishi!
Sure, there are more things Luffy absolutely does hate about stupid Zoro, and sex, and everything... But there also are a lot of things he just love, and the second group of things is way bigger than first. If only Zoro was not so critical, dour, heavy-headed, square-toed... well, he wasn't Zoro then! And Luffy loves Zoro, so it doesn't really matter if there are things he hates.
A/N: My first story in English. I'm sorry if it turned out bad, I tried my best...