Just Another Dressed Up Heartbreak
Summary: She thought they'd have longer
They were supposed to have a month to six weeks left together. That was what the doctor had told them, what the test had showed. He wasn't supposed to collapse in the spot where they'd shared their first kiss. He wasn't supposed to be out of it this long. She could feel it in her very soul that he wasn't going to last through the night. Truthfully, she'd felt it all day today. Especially when he'd handed her the digital watch. It was in the way that he spoke and the way he looked at her as if it was going to be the last time. It was in the way he said that the Nurses' Ball wasn't for weeks. She knew he was getting weaker and it hurt. It hurt so much to know that she was going to lose him. Nothing could prepare her for it.
"If real life was a fairytale," Josslyn thought, staring blankly at the wall across from her. "Oscar would be saved by true love's kiss and we'd live happily ever after." She'd long ago stopped believing in fairytales, though, even back before she found out Oscar was sick or Morgan died. When she'd overheard her father talking about Franco and heard what he'd caused to happen to Michael, she'd known fairytales weren't real. She hadn't completely comprehended what had happened to Michael back then, but she'd known fairytales couldn't exist if that could happen to her kind, gentle brother.
There was a part of her, an ugly, angry part that hated God for letting these horrible things happen. How could he allow her brother to be raped or her other brother to die? How could he allow a teenage boy to slowly deteoriate? She wanted to punch something until her fists bled, she wanted to find a way to get rid of the pain and the anger. Not for the first time, Josslyn understood why her father had did what he did to get her a kidney. His methods had been illegal and immoral. But he'd just wanted to save his only daughter's life. Josslyn knew that if she could, she'd do the same to save Oscar's, consequences be damned.
When she'd first met Oscar, she'd never imagined their road would lead here to a heartbreaking ending. It hadn't seemed like a possibility. Maybe it was just being a teenager that made her foolishly believe that they were invinsible. Part of her wondered if she could, would she turn back time and stop herself from ever meeting Oscar, save herself from this heartbreak. It was a tiny, niggling thought that quickly escaped her mind. No. No, she wouldn't do that. Because while Oscar was going to break her heart, was already breaking it, she couldn't regret him. Not for her life.
"Josslyn, sweetie?" Her mother's voice interrupted her musings, hand gently petting her hair. "Come on, I'm going to take him home. We can come back in the morning."
She couldn't find it in herself to say anything. She felt weak. Instead, Josslyn just nodded and stood to her feet, leaning into her mother who led them out of the hospital and to their car. Her thoughts kept wondering to being back in the ambulance and the breathing tube being shoved down Oscar's throat. She knew she'd never be able to erase that terrifying image from her mind
When they got back home, Josslyn immediately hurried upstairs to get dressed into pajamas and then hesitated as she stared at her bed. She didn't want to be alone with only her nightmares of tonight's events to keep her company. She padded from her room and went to her mother's room and climbed into the bed, snuggling into her mother's side. It was something she hadn't done in years, probably since she was around six. She couldn't help it, though. She needed her mother's soothing words and comforting arms.
Her mother's hand ran through her hair comfortingly and her eyes fluttered shut at the touch, exhaustion overtaking her. Her last thought was that she hoped Oscar would still be alive when she woke up in the morning.