The cook was getting weaker.
It took a few days for Zoro to actually take notice. At first, during a fight against a marine vessel – an easy fight really. He had only needed to draw one of his swords, which was great since he still needed practice in wielding Shuusui – he saw the idiot react too slowly a couple of times and block hits with his legs he would normally dodge easily, earning a few cuts in the process. Zoro would have ignored it, one can't be in perfect shape every day; even he had had bad days where his strength was only at 98%. But this was suspicious. Even if the cook was hangover and recovering from injuries, which he was not at the time, the gap of strength between them never was this big before.
The second clue came the following day, when Sanji didn't call everyone to say dinner was ready. When Luffy and Usopp went to investigate due to hunger making itself known, they found the cook napping at the galley table and the food not ready yet. Dinner was late that day, the first time it happened since... Ever, Zoro thought. And they had to endure the idiot Love-cook apologizing to the ladies during the whole mealtime. The swordsman hoped it wouldn't happen again but the dark circles under Sanji's eyes weren't reassuring.
And then there were their fights, which the cook had been avoiding and that was beyond strange. He didn't come to him even once to finish that scuffle they had started a few days before, that had been interrupted by Nami (just when it was getting good too!). The cook usually didn't like leaving those unfinished, especially since that time he didn't get to land a single kick and Zoro had been able to make him bleed a little.
In a way, no fighting was suiting Zoro just fine. He was starting to finally really recover from that ordeal on Thriller Bark and his training had picked up again. Because of that Chopper had been all over him too, not wanting the swordsman to push himself too hard. All that didn't give him much time to wonder about the shitty cook.
And when Zoro did find a moment to confront him about it, well... Could he really be blamed if holding a civil conversation with the asshole was impossible?
***
More days passed and now it was becoming clear to everyone that something was wrong with the cook. He was looking permanently exhausted and taking naps more often than the swordsman. Chopper had even stopped worrying about him and his sudden good health and started hovering around Sanji instead. But he's not sick and the little doctor doesn't have any other explanation. Predictably, the blond was just shrugging it off, saying it'll pass, and has started doing everything possible to escape more examinations by the reindeer.
It's one afternoon, while Zoro was training and well on his way to breaking his personal record in one-handed push-ups (with weights on his back), that he realizes the cook's mysterious fatigue is closely linked to his recent astounding recovery.
One moment he was starting to feel the strain in his muscles and the next he was suddenly feeling good enough for a few thousand more reps, as if he was only starting his training session. Weird.
Before he could try to figure out what was happening with his body, Chopper's cries for a doctor sounded from below. Zoro looked through the crow's nest window to the deck and saw the cook sprawled on the lawn. He appeared to be unconscious; a food tray and snacks dropped carelessly next to him, Chopper on the other side.
***
Zoro entered the galley and the cook was there alone, preparing dinner. He was working very slowly compared to the other times Zoro had seen him cooking. It was no wonder, seeing how weak and fragile and tired he looked right now. How he managed to get the little doctor off his back after what happened a mere hour ago, the swordsman couldn't begin to imagine. He pushed away the ridiculous idea of asking tips from Sanji, of all people, and instead went for the real important matter.
"You look like shit."
The cook spun to face him, annoyance at his presence clear in his eye. Okay, maybe that hadn't been the best choice of words to start a conversation.
Sanji looked him up and down and smirked. "And you look better, marimo."
Now Zoro had expected something more along the lines of 'Get the fuck out', so this... Wait, what? "You mean you noticed what's happening? That you're getting weaker because I'm getting stronger?"
"Of course I noticed, dumbass! And it's the other way around. You're recovering because I'm losing my strength."
"How the hell is that different?!"
"It is!"
"So it's your fault?
"You think I'd give you my strength willingly?! Ah, shit..." The blond man suddenly leaned heavily on the counter behind him, his free hand coming up to press against his temple. His legs were shaky and he looked about to collapse. Again.
Zoro ignored the pleasant prickle in his body (such a wrong feeling when associated with the pain of a nakama) and crossed the distance between him and Sanji, ready to catch him if need be. "Oi. Stop that."
The cook flinched at the invasion of his personal space, making Zoro wonder if whatever was happening to them was worse when they were closer. It would explain why the cook had been avoiding him.
"I told you it's not my fault, idiot! I don't know what's causing it... Only that it started about a week ago." He raised tired mocking eyes to the swordsman. "I'm surprised you only just noticed."
"Chopper didn't make that big a deal out of my recovery, and he's the doctor." Zoro said in his defense, even if he knew it was a lame excuse.
"Obviously, since everyone on this ship expects you to be stupidly strong and recover in record time." Sanji pushed himself away from the counter and tried to step past Zoro, mumbling, "Shit, I gotta sit down a minute." Zoro caught him firmly by the arm, making the cook hiss in pain but he didn't try to struggle free.
Zoro's eyes widened a little at the blatant display of weakness that was so out of character for the cook, especially in front of him. "Why didn't you say anything before, idiot-cook?"
Sanji just shot him a look, his expression strained a little but his eyes clearly saying 'don't play dumb'. With no intent to free himself (Zoro's hand on his arm was probably the only thing holding him upright at the moment), he took out a cigarette from his pants' pocket and put it between his lips before patting his jacket for his lighter, not looking at Zoro.
An image of the idiot standing between him and Kuma on Thriller Bark came unbidden in his mind. Damn him and his sacrificial nature. "Tch. Stupid cook, I don't need your help."
"Well you had it anyway, you ungrateful bastard." His lighter found, he brought it up to light his cigarette and took a long drag. "If I knew how to take it back, I would." That was a lie and they both knew it.
"Just stop it then. I don't need your strength anymore, might even be more the other way around... now... Hey, what's up with your arm?" Zoro opened his hand, revealing that the cook's sleeve underneath was stained with fresh blood.
Sanji swayed a little, but was able to remain on his feet and looked at his arm. "Shit, it's opened again. Chopper's gonna be pissed."
The pleasant prickling sensation was back in Zoro's hand and he looked at it just in time to see Sanji's blood being absorbed into his palm.
Oh. Shit.
Suddenly, all the explanations they needed crashed into his mind at the same time, under one name. His eyes strayed a moment to the red sword at his hip.
"Kitetsu."
"Eh? What's with that face, marimo, looks like you saw a ghost."
"That wound, it's the scratch I gave you with Sandai Kitetsu when we last sparred, right?"
"Yeah, it is, but... Oi! Where're you going, shitty-marimo?!"
Zoro left the confused cook alone in the galley and headed for the crow's nest, but not before telling Chopper about Sanji's reopened wound. It may look small but there was no way the swordsman was going to take Kitetsu's curse lightly, especially since he wasn't the only one affected by it.
***
Despite Zoro's original plan of finding a solution all by himself (because it was his sword and he wanted to be certain he wouldn't endanger other crewmates), he found himself sitting at the galley table with all the others after dinner. All except the cook, who was now resting in the infirmary under doctor's orders.
The crew learned about the details of the situation fast enough, when Chopper proclaimed that the cook wasn't in condition to be cooking dinner and the captain had demanded an explanation.
Sandai Kitetsu was now at the center of the table, and also at the center of attention (and probably enjoying it, bastard that he was). The crew was babbling about various ways to fight a curse, mostly based on superstitions. Usopp had even taken out his garlic necklace and silver cross again. Nothing worth his attention for now.
Instead Zoro was still trying to figure out why the curse manifested itself so suddenly. It wasn't like it was the first time he'd touched the cook with this katana either... He stared at the blade silently, expecting it to give away its secret. Unfortunately, all he was feeling when he concentrated really hard, was waves of unsatisfied hunger for blood and that was nothing new when it came to Kitetsu... Except...
Zoro's eyebrows raised in realization.
Except it wasn't exactly the same as usual. It felt somewhat stronger than before. Before what exactly...?
"Zoro! Are you listening?!"
"What do you want now?!" Damn the witch for interrupting his thoughts when he was about to figure out something.
"This is about your stupid sword. Pay attention, idiot!"
"It's Sandai Kitetsu, not a stupid sword."
"As I was saying, we should dump it overboard."
"WHAT?! You can't throw it in the sea!"
"The further away it is from Sanji-kun and the rest of us, the better. Right, everyone?"
From the other side of the table, Usopp and Chopper nodded fervently. They looked positively scared. They probably wouldn't ever try to play with his swords anymore, which was a good thing. Luffy was looking like he was agreeing too but didn't look too enthusiastic about it. At least his captain knew that his swords, all of them and not only Wadou, were important to him.
Zoro tried to protest when it was suggested that distancing themselves from the cursed blade might not be enough, and that destroying it might be more effective. Franky declaring that he had just the thing in his workshop to melt metal, made Zoro grip his sword protectively and pull it closer to him. There HAD to be another way to save the stupid cook. He hoped. Wasn't there at least another person on his side?
As if on cue, Robin's calm voice silenced the others. "I don't think that getting rid of it is a good idea."
"Rooobiiiiiiin! You're supposed to be on my side!"
The archeologist ignored Nami's pleading and continued her argument. "Curses are delicate matters. There are many old stories where such objects were broken and those who did it got cursed afterward. Sometimes they even mysteriously died."
"AH! That's bad! No destroying the mysterious sword!"
Zoro sighed in relief, taking mental note to thank Robin later for saving Kitetsu.
"Alright Zoro," Nami huffed, "you can keep your stupid sword for now but if you can't stop it soon, we'll have to get rid of it." Then she smiled the kind of smile Zoro hated so very much and added in a too-sweet voice, "I'll even lend you money for a new one if you need it." Witch.
"I-I agree with Nami!" Everyone turned to the little doctor and he continued nervously. "I'm very worried for Sanji, if he keeps on getting weaker like that, in three or four days his life will really be in danger!"
That was just unfair! Zoro was weak to Chopper's puppy eyes! He grunted in agreement and the reindeer beamed. If it was what he had do to make everyone happy (and save the shitty-cook), then he'd do it.
"Oi, shithead."
Everyone's attention was drawn to the infirmary's open door, where the cook was leaning against the doorframe in what could only be called an imitation of casual.
"Sanji!" The small doctor ran to his patient, frowning disapprovingly. "You're supposed to rest!"
"It's alright Chopper, I'm not feeling too tired now." The cook smiled at him and patted his hat. The reindeer pouted slightly but didn't protest more.
The cook leveled a smirk at Zoro, the dark circles under his eyes barely ruining the effect. "You're not thinking of getting rid of Kitetsu, are you? You'd be useless with only two swords, marimo."
"Tch. Who's useless now, curly-brow?"
"Not for long. I won't loose to a shitty-sword, so don't you dare throw it overboard!"
Zoro smirked in return. Cook was strong (not that he'd admit it) so he couldn't be worried for him, but he'd find a way to beat the curse before Sanji found one himself.
***
The next day, in the late afternoon, Zoro still hadn't figured out anything new about the situation. Well, that wasn't exactly true. It had taken him hours of sitting with his swords in his lap, trying to tune in to Kitetsu's (more than usual) chaotic and bloodthirsty spirit, trying to find out why the sword could suddenly try to kill someone other than its wielder without resorting to slicing.
He'd have found it sooner without the crew breaking his concentration all the time. Chopper with his worries, the witch with her constant threats to his 'stupid sword' and Robin with interrogations, that made more or less sense to him. He tried his best to answer them but more often than not he had no idea what to tell her.
Sandai Kitetsu's cursed spirit hadn't actually become stronger in the last weeks, which relieved Zoro immensely. It was only that Shuusui, who he had not mastered the use of yet, wasn't balancing its negative energy like Yubashiri did. Now, at least, the swordsman knew to be careful until he could control the black blade perfectly and, as a result, could regain some sort of authority over Kitetsu.
Of course that wasn't all the explanation. There was still the mystery of why the shit-cook and not any other enemy. Zoro dearly hoped that it wasn't because the cursed sword had decided to make him suffer by harming nakama.
But now he was starting to get a headache trying to get into Kitetsu's psyche and he had yet to find anything resembling a solution. That meant it was time for some booze.
What he didn't expect to find was a certain cook in the galley, standing between him and his booze.
"What the hell are you doing here?! Aren't you supposed to be resting?" He was pretty sure Chopper had been clear with his 'no cooking' order yesterday.
"I already slept through breakfast and lunch. I can make dinner."
"You look like you're dying, love-cook." Zoro said, deadpanned.
"Shut up, I'm not." The swordsman thought that was seriously lacking in repartee coming from the chef and that really didn't help the image he was giving. Weak and fragile was bad enough, but if he was to lose his witty tongue too Zoro, would start to seriously doubt his boasting from the night before.
"Yeah, right. How did you get past Chopper anyway?"
The blond man faced him with a cocky smirk (that he was not relieved to see on his too-pale face). "Wouldn't you like to know~"
"Tch." Zoro grabbed a bottle of cheap sake from the wine rack, ignoring Sanji's usual protests, and uncorked it with his teeth before putting it to his lips, hiding a faint smile as he drank.
The cook returned to his work, trying to not pay attention to the swordsman standing a few feet from him and doing his best to pretend his presence wasn't affecting him. Seeing as his hands were betraying him by being unsteady, he was failing at it.
Zoro knew he should probably leave the galley now. He'd gotten his booze and he still had a curse to figure out. It would also be best to put more distance between Kitetsu and the already weak enough cook and to get Chopper to force the stubborn idiot to rest, instead of trying to start more banter but...
"I thought you weren't going to loose to my sword. Doesn't look like you're winning to me." He really couldn't help it.
Sanji sighed, setting aside the knife he was working with before answering with a snarl. "'S'not like I'm not trying. You're not the one having his strength sucked out of him by a dumbass swordsman."
Zoro opened his mouth to retort with more teasing, as was expected of him but instead: "What is it like?" Okay that was a weird thing to ask and the surprise in the cook's eyes was telling him the same thing. He shrugged. "Just want to know more about my katana's curse." It could help him fight it. Especially since it didn't seem likely that the cook would ever be able to save himself.
The blond probably understood that unsaid part too. "I can feel it feeding on me… kind of. It's a weird sensation but something I could have fought back easily one week ago." What he didn't say, was that he wasn't strong enough to drive back Kitetsu's strange assaults now. "Is it always hungry like that?" he asked as an afterthought.
"Hn." Stupid dartboard-eyebrow! Did he let the cursed blade feed itself on him just because it was hungry?! Because he's a cook and it's his job?! Even he couldn't be this idiotic. Right?
Except Sanji didn't know it was Kitetsu's fault before yesterday. He'd believed it was only Zoro taking his energy, assumed he'd been 'feeding' a nakama. But it had been unneeded help really, and the swordsman could feel the anger building inside him again at the thought that cook felt it necessary to suffer for his sake.
The cook had resumed making dinner, hands still trembling and attempting to ignore him. Did he really think he could do anything in this state?
Maybe it was time to leave the galley. A fight wouldn't be the best of ideas right now.
"You're a dumbass, cook." Since when did he listen to common sense though?
"What was that?"
"You obviously bit off more than you could chew, taking all this on yourself like that. Chopper was right, in a couple of days I'll probably have to get rid of Kitetsu because of you."
Sanji faced him, instantly pissed and eyes alight. "More than... You're one to talk, Mister I-Take-All-Of-Luffy's-Pain! 'Nothing happened' my ass! I could take it, no problem, but your shitty sharp stick decided it wouldn't fucking stop trying to suck me dry even after you were back on your feet!"
For a second, Zoro thought that anger made him look almost healthy. Maybe that was what the cook needed to overcome the curse? The beginning of a smirk tugged at Zoro's lips. If it was necessary then...
He didn't have the time to finish that thought. That prickle of vitality was suddenly coursing through his body and Sanji was collapsing and he had to rush forward to catch him.
"O-oi cook!" He awkwardly pulled the unconscious man upright against him, shaking him a little. "You better not die on me there!"
A soft groan escaped pale lips and the blond head lolled to the side.
So stupid! Both of them!
Sanji, for letting himself get this weak and willingly too. Never even asking Zoro if he was okay with it. And he wasn't! He was fine recovering on his own, thank you very much.
And Zoro too, for pissing off the cook like nothing was wrong. What was he thinking?! Of course Kitetsu would happily feed on the cook's bad temper and fighting spirit!
Also, he shouldn't have brought the cursed sword in the galley with him. He moved the cook a bit so he could support him with only his left arm, then took Kitetsu from its resting place at his hip with his free hand and threw it across the room. It hit the floor with a clatter but for once, he couldn't bring himself to care.
He gave one more shake to the limp body in his arms, not getting any answer. "At least you're resting now." Zoro muttered gruffly.
The sound of the galley door closing caught his attention and he turned his head to see who had entered without him noticing. Ah, Robin, of course. She was carrying one of her innumerable old books in her arms and wearing her eternal enigmatic smile. He hated it, almost as much as Nami's 'I'll-take-all-your-money' smile.
"Is it a bad moment?" She asked, and he could swear there was amusement in her voice as she looked at them.
The swordsman realized, a bit belatedly, that he was still holding onto the unresponsive cook, and that it probably looked like he was... hugging... Sanji... Oh. He tried his best to ignore the warm feeling in his face and act like nothing was out of the ordinary. "Stupid idiot passed out again." He explained lamely.
"Would you like me to get Chopper?"
"Nah, not really necessary, he just needs to lie down and rest. Chopper can check on him later." Zoro gave himself a metaphorical pat on the back for how casual he was able to sound.
"If you say so," she conceded, smile still lingering in her voice, before crossing her arms in front of her. "Let me help with this."
Before he had time to answer, a flurry of arms appeared and gently stole the cook from him and transported him to the couch on the other side of the galley. Robin followed and sat down, depositing her book at her side and taking the cook's head in her lap. Zoro hoped he wouldn't wake soon or else he'd pass out again from a bloody nose.
Robin motioned for the swordsman to come closer. "I believe I found some very interesting information about cursed swords in this book," she said, fingers brushing the cover of said book. "You said there was no other instance before where it happened, this draining of an opponent's life force, yes?"
Zoro moved to stand in front of the archeologist and the sleeping cook. "Hm." He nodded firmly. A short silence followed, her gaze fixed on him, as if she knew he had more to say about the matter. He exhaled. "I think it's because my other swords usually help me control it unconsciously." No use hiding anything from her, so after some hesitation he added, "I'll regain control over Sandai Kitetsu eventually. I just need time but we don't have it right now, so if you have an idea, say it."
"This control you lost, was it because of the injuries you sustained on Thriller Bark?"
"Wha– No! It's because of my sword!" Zoro clarified, bristling and putting a hand on Shuusui's hilt for emphasis. "I'm not completely used to this new sword yet," he finished, muttering.
"Understood, Zoro." And there was that smile again, making him wonder how much she really knew about the happenings in Thriller Bark. "Now about what I found out..." She continued, taking the book she had brought and handing it to the swordsman. He took it and immediately an arm sprouted from his chest, startling him, to open it and flip to the page she wanted before disappearing in a few petals. There was a drawing of a sword and writings in a language he didn't recognize.
"This book mentions many cursed swords but one in particular caught my attention. It's named Shodai Kitetsu. Perhaps you heard that name before?"
He nodded, still fixated on the page with the sword. Indeed the sword illustrated there was eerily similar to Sandai Kitetsu. "It's kind of my sword's big brother, I suppose..."
"It says that this sword fed on enemy blood: that people cut by it, and no matter the importance of the wound that was inflicted, always bled to death. Many of its wielders died of simple carelessness apparently. From what is happening to our cook, I believe your sword possesses a similar curse." Her fingers gently touched Sanji's right upper arm, drawing attention to the wound that wasn't healing properly. "It needs a certain quantity of blood from its opponents to be satisfied and it hasn't gotten it from him."
The cook flinched in his sleep and Zoro snapped the book shut, startling Robin in to removing her hand from Sanji's arm.
She recovered quickly, her little knowing smile curving her lips and her eyes looking much too amused for the situation.
Zoro cleared his throat. "So, if what you say is right, Kitetsu is draining the idiot-cook's strength from the scratch I gave him. Because it wants more of his blood?" The archeologist nodded. "And I'm getting that strength because...?"
A shrug. "A sword can only take so much of a human's life force. It's logical that any more than it can absorb, goes to you since you're its wielder."
And with how strong the cook usually was that made a lot of energy for him to have, Zoro completed in his mind. But...
"That... doesn't really make sense."
"Curses are mysterious matters."
"Oi." Who did she take him for, Luffy? He shook his head. "Anyway, knowing all that doesn't get us any closer to stopping the curse. Tch. I thought you had something; you're just wasting my time now."
"On the contrary, understanding the workings of a curse can help in fighting it. In the case that interests us, it is fairly simple."
"It is?"
"Feeding it enough blood to satisfy it temporarily should stop it from weakening Sanji. Anyone's would do."
Zoro's eyes strayed to Sanji, still seeming to be peacefully asleep. That he hadn't woken up for all of his conversation with Robin, was telling volumes on how exhausted he was. The cook wasn't that much of a deep sleeper usually. Maybe he was able to fool even Chopper but Zoro knew that time was running short and he had to do something soon. What the archeologist suggested was worth a try but... "Are you sure Kitetsu doesn't want his in particular?"
"It is a possibility, but wounding Sanji again in his present state might kill him. Would you risk it?"
It was a mystery to the swordsman how Robin could keep an emotionless tone while saying such things. He shook his head, then walked to the corner of the galley where he had thrown Sandai Kitetsu earlier.
"Let's hope that I am right then. Are you going to wait until an encounter with marines or pirates?"
He picked up the cursed blade, unsheathing it. "No time for that." He swapped the sword from one hand to the other a few times. "I'll just feed it now." Even if it irked him to the highest point that it meant he was giving in to Kitetsu's desires. Felt like losing.
Robin stood slowly, careful not to move the cook too much. "Are you certain about this?"
"You said anyone's. Blood is blood, so it better be happy with mine."
"I'll get Chopper then, I assume he'll be needed soon." She grabbed her book that Zoro had left on the table and then left the galley, closing the door behind her.
The swordsman stared at his sword for a moment, unmoving. It was all well and good that he'd feed it with his own blood but he didn't want any lasting injury if he could help it, and with Kitetsu that meant he should be extra-careful and there was no way he'd ask Chopper to do that. He let out a soft sigh; he should do it fast though, while he was still alone. Well, not exactly alone. "Oi, still sleeping, cook?"
No response. Zoro approached the sleeping man, observing him intently and cursing him again mentally. He found his eyes constantly drawn to Sanji's right upper arm, where an unhealing wound was hidden under a blue pinstriped shirt. Chopper had said that it would probably leave a scar because it stayed like a fresh wound for a too long time. Zoro figured it was just fair if he got a scar from this too. It would be there to remind him that he'd lost to Sandai Kitetsu once and that he mustn't let himself be this weak again.
His thoughts were interrupted by one more wave of the cook's stolen life force coursing through him. Shit, this had no right to feel so good! He noticed that Sanji's features had suddenly tensed too, his ridiculously curled eyebrow furrowed in pain. He should have acted minutes ago!
Zoro hastily untied his bandana from his left arm and pulled up his sleeve. The blade sliced his flesh easily and deeply and a ludicrous thought crossed his mind that Kitetsu could have taken his arm if he hadn't been holding it with an iron grip. He pressed the flat of the blade just below the cut, pulling it open wider and letting his blood run over the metal and down his arm. Some of it was bound to end up on the floor and he was glad the shit-cook was unconscious so he couldn't bitch about him soiling his precious galley.
He didn't flinch at first, at the sting of the cut; he could easily withstand much greater pains. Then he noticed that most of his blood didn't reach the floor but was instead absorbed directly by the blade, like when Sanji's blood was sucked into his hand. That made his right hand twitch and want to remove the sword from where it was touching his skin. He was still glad to have Kitetsu in his possession – the cursed sword was a formidable asset in battle – but it really was creepy.
Fortunately, it only took a few moments before Kitetsu apparently had had enough and most of his blood dripped to the floor instead of being absorbed. Predictably that was the moment the cook chose to wake up, too. He groaned, pushing himself up on his elbows and looked around, disoriented until his eyes landed on Zoro. And the blood. And the sword.
"W-what the hell are you doing, shitty-swordsman?!"
Zoro rolled his eyes and removed Kitetsu from his arm. "Tch, go back to sleep cook." Not like he expected him to listen...
As a matter of fact Sanji had his eyes fixated on the swordsman's self-inflicted wound. "Are you trying to chop off your arm?! Your feet weren't enough?!"
He dropped the sword carelessly to the floor – it may be petty but Kitetsu didn't deserve proper respect for as long as it was disobeying him – and clamped his hand on the wound to slow the bleeding. "That's not it, idiot. This is supposed to make you feel better."
"Better? Better?! By hurting yourself and undoing all I've done?! What kind of fucked up logic is that?!"
"I won't die from a scratch like that! Unlike you..."
Sanji's eye narrowed. Then he caught sight of something much more offensive than any insult to his strength and his gaze turned murderous. "YOU'RE DRIBBLING BLOOD ALL OVER MY FLOOR YOU SHITHEAD!"
And again Zoro thought he appeared healthier when angry. He hoped it wasn't a false assumption like earlier. He didn't want to have to catch the stupid cook if he yelled himself into unconsciousness again. "So are you feeling better now?" Zoro asked, ignoring Sanji's rage completely.
"Of course I am!"
"I mean, Kitetsu isn't feeding on you anymore?" Zoro pressed.
That made the cook pause for a moment and take the time to actually process the question. He glanced at the blade, scrutinizing it with a thoughtful eye and then nodding once. "You're right, it stopped..." He conceded reluctantly. "Whose stupid idea was it anyway?"
"Robin's." Well, maybe not exactly but there was no need to go into details anyway, and it was worth it for the idiot's face and his little "Oh." when he realized he couldn't complain about said idea anymore.
A short silence followed. Sanji was looking damn uncomfortable, like he was trying to gather up the guts to say something very unpleasant. The swordsman, well... He was feeling slightly lightheaded. Maybe it was more blood than he'd thought, that Sandai Kitetsu took to be satisfied, and without the usual adrenaline rush of a battle he was already feeling the effects of blood loss. Coupled with the fact that Chopper would be there any instant now, he didn't think it was time for any kind of talk and he tried to reflect this thought in his expression.
His frown must not have been persuasive enough though.
"Zoro–"
The rest was cut off because, as if on cue, the galley door slammed open to reveal the small doctor who looked like he'd already worked himself into a panic.
"ZORO! AAH! SANJI! What are you doing up?!"
The cook sat up straighter and smiled reassuringly. "I'm alright Chopper, really."
"It's true, I stopped the curse."
"You did, Zoro?!" He turned to the swordsman, eyes widening. "Why are you bleeding?!"
"Shithead did it to himself." The cook provided.
"What?! Really Zoro?"
"Bastard!" Now he was stuck with Chopper looking at him disapprovingly. Not that it was intimidating or anything. "I had a good reason; it was to save the cook's ass." Zoro grumbled. "And it worked. See? He's already back to his annoying self."
The small reindeer looked back and forth between the two for a moment, finally settling on Sanji for confirmation. The blond ran a hand through his hair and muttered something that may have sounded like an affirmation, that Zoro had saved his life by cutting himself. Chopper immediately turned back to Zoro with star-filled eyes.
"THAT'S SO COOL ZORO! I knew you wouldn't let Sanji die!"
Zoro smiled, patting the top of Chopper's hat, content that the little doctor now attached to his leg could stop worrying himself.
Of course idiot-brow had to interrupt. "Oi Chopper, shouldn't you tend to marimo's wound?" Zoro could hear the smugness dripping from his annoying voice.
"Oh! That's right! And I'm the doctor!" He remembered, and then started to push the protesting swordsman toward the infirmary. It was just a scratch, really! And didn't the cook need a doctor check up or something? He had been passed out only minutes ago after all. Not that his arguments were even taken into consideration, and he was hearing the traitor chuckling in the background. Seriously, Sanji must have a trick to keep the doctor at bay...
When the infirmary door was about to close on him and Chopper, he remembered about Kitetsu, which was still on the galley's floor. He leaned back through the opening, getting the attention of the asshole who was now standing, albeit a bit shakily (probably about to flee so Chopper couldn't get him after having finished with Zoro). "Oi cook." He pointed to the discarded sword, dripping some more blood on Sanji's precious floor in the process. Oops. "Could you pick it up? You know, just to make sure no one gets cut accidentally. And be careful not to cut yourself on it again too!"
Sanji nodded, slightly wide-eyed and then the door closed.
That... had sounded much more mocking in his head. Dammit.
***
The following day, everything was mostly back to normal. The cook was recovering fast, as if a good night's sleep had been all he'd needed. Chopper had explained that it was due to Sanji not sustaining any physical damage because of the curse, not counting the original scratch, of course. Which itself had started healing normally too but would leave a scar just as Chopper had predicted. As would Zoro's self-inflicted wound.
Usopp had tried once to call said scars 'matching'. He would not try again soon.
Both the cook and the swordsman were back to their usual routine. Or almost usual. Sanji was cooking like a fiend to make up for the missed meals, to the great joy of their captain and the small doctor wasn't even looking over him to make sure he didn't overexert himself. Not like Zoro should have been surprised of that, not anymore anyway, but he was still annoyed by this secret skill of Sanji's.
Especially since that meant Chopper was now looking over him instead, to make sure he wasn't training too hard. Seriously, he was fine now. He had to admit, even if only to himself, that all the damage he'd received on Thriller Bark, and maybe even some from before that, was now entirely and completely gone. He felt good. Great. Healthy.
And he had Sanji to thank for that. Even if curly-brow still insisted that he hadn't almost given his life for Zoro willingly – and the swordsman very much doubted that – he couldn't deny that with his recovery sped up like that, he now had less chance of dying in the next battle. Not that there was much chance of that in the first place! But... Maybe that would be the small significant difference he'd need to win next time.
Not going to think about those 'maybe permanent damages' that Chopper had been so worried about just after Thriller Bark, that had miraculously healed along with the rest of his injuries. Nope. Only a sped up recovery. No need for the cook to know about details like that.
Kitetsu was right now in the bunk room, in his locker more precisely. He almost felt stupid, punishing it like this but before the problem child could become a spoiled child, Zoro would have to get back his authority. He could almost feel it sulking now, at the idea of maybe missing the next chance to fight and this was amusing to no end to the swordsman. He would not let the cursed blade do as it pleased ever again.
Zoro set down the huge barbell he was training with, hoping he could get Chopper to leave him alone so he could continue his reps in peace but instead of seeing the small reindeer when he turned around, his eyes met those of the cook. Who was holding out a drink for him. That looked very refreshing.
"I'm not gonna tell you to go easy or whatever, shitty-swordsman, just... don't ever need miracle healing ever again."
Zoro thought the cook sucked immensely at hiding his worries. Same as him the day before.
"I won't." He answered sincerely, his eyes softening, and took the offered drink. "Thank you, Sanji."
The blond man shrugged, breaking eye contact.
"So..." Zoro continued, "How did you make Chopper go away?"
The End