Warning: Rated M. Spangel.
Disclaimer: No, I don't own BTVS or Angel.
A/N: Starts off during season 5 of Angel, then delves into season 8 comics a bit. I changed the dialogue too. Anyway, hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!
Once Spike was corporeal again, it seemed things had calmed down. As much as they could, anyhow. Angel was still heading Wolfram and Hart, which struck everyone as odd, but he felt determined to make a difference. His team was still suspicious about the whole thing, that much was clear to him. Eve was his personal assistant for now. If anything, she was the suspicious one and he felt she knew more about the senior partners than she was willing to admit. For example, he wasn't sure why they had wanted to bring him back as a ghost. That had obviously been their intention. It had been meant for him technically, not Spike. It seemed to revolve around this Shanshu prophecy. And apparently, he hadn't been the only one in the running.
The two vampires sat across from each other in his large office. Angel and Spike were both sipping on some bourbon in silence for a moment, before the older man sighed.
"You and me. This isn't working out."
"Are you sayin' that we should start annoying other people?"
"I mean it, Spike. I'll set you up, get you a car—!"
"The Viper."
"Not the Viper."
"I'll settle for the Viper and nothin' less." He lifted his chin at him.
Angel rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. "Fine, take it. I'll give you something to get started, there's other offices. Other locations. You could—!"
"What the bloody hell makes you think I'd want to work there?"
Angel looked up. "You're here. Right now."
"Because I'm helpin', aren't I? Helping the helpless, right?" Spike quirked a brow, folding his arms. "I'm here cause I don't mind it so much. I think this town's big enough for the both of us."
"I don't think it is." Angel disagreed.
"Right, then." Spike pursed his lips, "Yeah, I'm not leavin'."
The other vampire almost groaned but didn't. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"
"Can't stand not bein' special anymore? Not the only vamp with a soul?" Spike retorted.
Angel's eyes narrowed. "No. You're just irritating, that's all."
"And you're insufferable, what with all the brooding." Spike scoffed.
"How'd you manage it anyway? The soul thing."
"Africa." He mentioned vaguely. "Demons trials. It wasn't easy."
"I can imagine." Angel nodded. "So, then what? Spent a couple weeks losing your mind in a basement and you suddenly got better? I had to suffer for years!"
"That's not my problem." Spike replied casually.
"I guess not." Angel calmed down as he realized he was blaming him for something he didn't do. "Look, can you just leave? I'm asking nicely. Don't make me use force."
"Oh?" Spike cocked his head. "Try me. C'mon, then."
Angel felt a headache forming. "You know what? Forget it."
Spike frowned. "Whatever. Guess I'll head back home."
"You have an apartment?"
"Yeah. A studio. And don't ask me how I got it."
"Don't worry, I won't." Angel paused, before adding suddenly. "Does Buffy...does she know you're alive yet?"
Spike froze at the mention of her name. "No. I haven't seen her since that battle."
"You still haven't told me what happened between you two. Before the fight, I mean. If you ever hurt her..." Angel began threateningly.
"I did try to hurt her, on more than one occasion, but she didn't let me. Too tough for that. But she used me too. We were both bad to each other." Spike explained. "If you wanna beat me, kill me, do it then."
"Get out of my office."
"Gladly."
o
Not long after their world was turned upside down again by the demon-god that was Illyria. Now they had an ancient being on their hands that they had to deal with. And more importantly, they had to deal with losing Fred.
And it was all leading up to that moment, when they stood out in the rain staring at the countless demons before them, a dragon flying out of the portal. Wesley was gone and Lorne had skipped town, deciding he was done with this kind of work, but not before killing Lindsey as he left.
"Let's get to work." Angel said and they all charged.
o
The week after that was brutal. The fight they had won, it was the recovery that was difficult. After getting LA out of the hell dimension it was trapped in and reversing many of the things that had happened, including Angel becoming human and Connor dying, it seemed as though things were normal again. Well, as normal as they could be.
Spike came up to Angel and thought of placing a comforting hand on his shoulder but thought better of it. "You alright?"
"Yeah." He murmured. Sitting in the shadows, he watched people in the sunlight go about their merry way. "Do you think anyone even remembers?"
"I doubt it." Spike told him. "You saved 'em."
"We all saved them. I did most of the work, but you guys were good too." He admitted.
"I've helped out before even while soulless." Spike informed him.
"Good for you." Angel muttered. "It was for Buffy though, be honest."
"Okay, fine. Yeah. Still! I'd like to see Angelus do that." Spike grew quiet at the look on his face. "Sorry, mate."
"No, you're right. He wouldn't have helped." Angel replied. "You've always been an anomaly in that sense. Not fully a monster, not really a man."
"Hey, make no mistake. I was a monster, I still am."
"Still."
"Look, we've done a lot of bad and alot of good. That's what's led us here." Spike said suddenly.
Angel frowned, gazing over at him. "I suppose you're right." Standing up, he came over to him. "At the end of the day though, we're still damned. Still vampires."
"You're not gonna delve into that power speech again, are you? Don't need to get a stake?"
Angel smirked. "No. I'm fine. I just..."
"What?"
"Nothing."
He leaned towards him, planting a gentle kiss on his lips. Spike recoiled instantly, staring at him wide-eyed. "The bloody hell was that for?"
"Don't act like that was first time."
"Alright, so there was that one time..." Spike trailed off at the memory much like had when he had mentioned it to Illyria. "But that was a long time ago. It was a one-time situation, you ponce."
"Yeah, I know." Angel narrowed his eyes. "We should head back to Italy. Let Buffy know we're okay."
Spike nodded. "And then you'll, what, sweep her off her feet?"
Angel frowned. "We've had this conversation already. I don't think either of us are right for her. And you saw how she was with the Immortal! The Immortal." He spat disgustedly.
"Right? Can't stand him." Spike agreed, before he glowered his way. "You aren't just sayin' that so that you can have her all to yourself?"
"Look, we can't decide for her. Maybe she'll end up with one of us, maybe not." Angel told him. "We need to go see her though."
"Bloody hell. Fine." He replied shortly, shrugging.
o
Buffy walked to the gates of her apartment. The sun was setting currently, casting an orange and pink glow across the sky. She and Dawn had been living there for at least a year or so. She wasn't sure how long they'd stay in Italy.
"Oh my god, you're here...I've missed you!" She smiled warmly at Angel, before her heart nearly stopped at the sight of Spike standing next to him. "Spike..."
"Buffy..." He murmured.
o
Angel looked up as Spike came back to their hotel room looking a bit dazed. Shutting the door behind him, he stood there for a moment as his eyes flickered to the tv. The older vampire quirked a brow at him. "Well?"
"It went better than I expected." Spike glanced at him. "I dunno if I still have a chance with her, but she seemed happy to see me."
Angel remained silent, making him shift on his feet and peer over at him pointedly.
"Aren't you gonna say anythin'?"
"What's there to say?" Angel wondered. "You hurt Buffy, it sounds like she used you, basically it sounds like an unhealthy relationship."
"Sums it up." He nodded.
"Still, she does seem to..." Angel swallowed, finding it difficult to say, "...love you. And me. I guess we have to take Andrew's advice. Try to move on, but at the same time, allow her to choose who she wants."
"Right." Spike nodded.
"I gotta wait till she's done baking." Angel murmured pensively.
Spike sat down on the couch, stretching out his legs. He looked a bit confused, still not understanding what he meant by that. He supposed it was some thing between the two, some conversation they'd shared. His mind drifted back to the other blonde and he sighed a little.
His relationship with her had been unhealthy, although very sensual and even nice at some points.
It wasn't much more unhealthy than his and Angel's though. They were frenemies at this point, but they did have something in common. They were both vampires and they understood the darkness that came with that. The fact that unless sunlight burned them up or they got staked, they'd be around. Their eyes met awkwardly and they both looked away. Spike suddenly recalled that 'one time' he had told Illyria about, thankful he didn't have the circulation to blush.
It had been 1894, maybe shortly after the Immortal had taken both Darla and Drusilla. Concurrently, according the blonde. It had left them jealous, seething, and flabbergasted that their women would succumb to someone like him. So of course, they had went to the party that the Immortal was throwing, to give him a piece of their minds, only to be denied entry.
They had stormed back to their room and realized the girls must've finished their bath and gone out. They had both stared at each other for a moment, before sitting down together on the bed. Angelus had wanted to rip the Immortal's throat out and give him a good staking. William had felt the same way, wringing his wrists angrily.
"That...that bleedin' sod! That...wanker!" He had shouted, fury causing his voice to crack a bit. "Takin' our girls like that? And they just let him!"
Angelus had nodded, furrowing his brow. "We should go back. Hunt him down. Rip his spine out and drain him."
"Honestly!" William had agreed, elbowing him. "That'd show that ponce! He should be scared of you. You're Angelus."
"Damn right I am." He had murmured lowly. "He ought to know better than 'ta mess with me or William the bloody."
Placing a hand on the younger man's knee accidentally, he had stared down for a long moment. Too long, probably. He had run a hand up his thigh, William's breath had hitched. His blue eyes had narrowed curiously, but he hadn't stopped him. Not yet.
"Angelus?" His voice had been quiet for once.
He had looked up into blue orbs, feeling oddly possessive suddenly. Angelus would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about lying with William. As vampires, they were no labels. All the laws written by man and the church no longer applied to them. The very thought was freeing to him, it only made him move his hand further, rubbing against his crotch.
William had let out a sigh that had caused him to harden. He had cupped his face, ran a thumb along sharp cheekbones and smooth the curls back from his face. The younger man had responded in turn, holding onto his shoulders as he realized the atmosphere was shifting. Neither one had seemed to mind.
Mouths collided, their tongues meeting as they had fallen back onto the sheets.
"What are you thinking about?" Angel wondered, bringing him back to the present.
"Dinner. You fancy getting some pasta?"
"I was thinking blood, but, okay?"
"Ah, c'mon. Like you don't eat regular food too." Spike gave him a look. "We're in Italy. Not my favorite country, but you gotta admit the food's delicious."
"It is."
"I could go for a plate of rigatoni. Marinara sauce. Meatballs."
"Stop."
"What'd I do?"
"You're making me hungry. Let's go find a place."
"Right, then."
o
After dinner, which had been some of the best food they'd had in awhile, the two found themselves in their hotel room again. They were both sprawled onto the couch again, much too full to move. At least, for now. They sat watching television and silently enjoyed each other's company though they'd never admit it.
"How's your boy?"
Angel blinked. "Connor?" He smiled a little. "He's alive, that's all that matters. He's doing well last I heard from him."
"It's good you two had reconciled."
"Yeah."
The silence became awkward again and they both tried very hard to ignore each other, instead zeroing in on the show they were watching. It didn't take long for the quiet to be broken.
"Lot of channels here."
"Yep."
"They got any of those little bottles in the fridge?" Spike got up and was a little disappointed at the lack of options.
"We should go to the liquor store." Angel murmured absently.
"I'll go." Spike stood, cocking his head. "Want somethin'?"
"Uh, the usual."
"Got it."
o
A few rounds of drink later, they found themselves laid down on their respective beds. They weren't drunk, barely tipsy, as the vampire constitution they had made it difficult to get truly wasted like they wanted to. It reminded Angel of the first time they had flown to Italy together, when Spike had kept knocking back small bottle after bottle of alcohol in the hopes of getting drunk. Hadn't worked.
"You asleep yet?" Spike's voice made him look over.
"Do I look like I'm sleeping?" Angel replied sarcastically.
"More like dead, on account of you not breathin'." Spike bit back.
Angel noticed that Spike was breathing, even though he didn't need the air. It was a habit he hadn't been able to break, probably.
"We should get some rest."
"I guess. We don't really need it."
"Quiet, please."
"Fine." Spike could only handle the silence for a couple minutes, before turning to him again. "Do you think—?"
"Good night, Spike." Angel said loudly with a hint of irritation.
"Well, damn. Good night, then."
Spike stood up to remove his duster, tossing it onto the chair nearby. They'd forgotten to bring pajamas, but he supposed it wouldn't be a problem. He'd get some later. In the meantime, he stripped from his shirt and pants too, tossing them aside.
Angel watched with wide, confused eyes. "What the hell, Spike?"
"I'm not gonna sleep in my bloody clothes!" He spat.
"Right." Angel nodded, laying back down. His dark eyes flickered over to the other man though, sweeping over pale skin and lean muscle. He cursed himself as the thought of that night came back to him suddenly, making him awkwardly clear his throat and turn the other way as he tried to sleep.
Spike caught him looking though. "What-?"
"Don't make me throw you out. You can sleep on the couch." Angel snapped.
Almost flinching at the venom in his voice, he stood and stormed over to his bed. Turning him around forcibly, he scowled down at him. In the pale glow of the moonlight streaming in the window, his blue eyes stood out even more.
Spike seemed to notice the curtains were open suddenly, going over to shut them. He walked back over to Angel's bed, eyeing him pointedly.
"Bugger that! You sleep on the soddin' couch."
"Who's paying for this room?"
"I hate you."
"Yeah, hate you too."
It was very quiet for several moments and Angel sat up suddenly. "What are you doing, Spike? Go lay down."
"Don't tell me what to do." He growled.
"It was a suggestion. Relax." The older vampire sighed. "Don't make things difficult."
"Oh, right. It's always me makin' things go bad."
Angel's eyes narrowed confusedly. "What do you mean?"
"Buffy, Dru, Harm!" He spat heatedly. "Cecily, oh Cecily. It all ends the same way! It always does."
"Have you lost it?" Angel wondered seriously, looking genuinely concerned for him.
"Is it me?"
The older man finally seemed to get it, realization lighting his eyes. "No. It works both ways. You're just...no offense, kinda...a little sensitive."
"I'm sensitive?" He repeated in an almost monotone, deadbeat voice.
"Well, yeah."
"Says the king of brooding."
Angel rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "No, in a different way. Like, I brood. Then I get over it. You hold onto things. You hold grudges. You take stuff personally, even when it's not always about you."
He knew it was some part of William the poet left in him. The sensitive romantic. It was the trace of humanity that never seemed to wash away, even in the midst of his most evil days. Angel had known he was a bit of an anomaly for a vampire, hence why'd he had been so hard on him as Angelus. He had wanted to toughen him up, make him stronger. Yet upon getting his soul back, all he had felt was regret.
Regret for turning such a gentle soul into a ruthless demon. Spike had been one of his mistakes in his eyes for the longest time, something he had regretted deeply even though he technically hadn't sired him. But he had sired Drusilla. That made him his grandsire and even now he felt that blood connection to him. Perhaps that had been why he hadn't been able to kill him yet or why he felt generous at times in regards to him.
Spike grew silent. People usually never checked him like this. Buffy had tried, but it normally ended up with her telling him to 'shut up' or 'go away'. It made him angry but also intrigued.
"Oh?"
"Spike, people break up all the time. Some people have bad luck and they get broken up with a lot. Or sometimes people have good luck and they find that person that's right for them the first or second time around." Angel explained.
"So I'm unlucky."
"Not exactly." Angel disagreed. "Maybe in love, but not in everything else. C'mon, you're a strong fighter. You're smart. You're not the worst-looking person I've laid eyes on. It could be worse, Spike."
The younger vampire swallowed thickly. "That's the first time you've ever been this nice to me."
"Well, you're so pathetic right now, I feel inclined to be." Angel smirked. "Also, soul now. It helps. Angelus would've...laughed at you and probably beat the sensitivity out of you."
"And worse."
Angel frowned, looking away. "Yeah."
They didn't know who leaned in first, who instigated it, but suddenly their lips were pressed together. Things got heavy and hot quickly as they became lost in the sensation, nearly forgetting just who it was they were kissing.
"What are we doing?" Angel breathed moments later despite himself, despite the swelling in his pants.
"Dunno. Don't really care." Spike replied honestly, pushing him down onto the bed.
"Well, I do." Grabbing his shoulders to effectively halt him, his dark eyes searched blue ones. "We can't."
"Angel..." There was something about the way he said it, that made his resolve weaken very quickly. Grabbing his hips, he stared at the topless man above him and admired the slim, lithe body, the planes of his muscles.
"...damn it." The older man whispered, leaning up to kiss him roughly. He nipped at his jawline, his neck, while trailing his other hand onto his chest. Rubbing his finger across a pink nipple, he watched as Spike froze, moaning lowly from the pleasure he felt. He continued doing that, enjoying the reaction he was getting.
Angel groaned and arched his back suddenly as Spike moved to straddle him, splaying his fingers over Angel's chest. He lifted himself up on his knees, and guiding with one hand impaled himself on Angel's cock slowly. Spike's breath hitched as he tried to relax his muscles, wishing they had some lube on them or something, but neither had prepared for this. Carefully, he shifted his hips a little and lowered himself down a bit more, wincing at the pain but it wasn't like he was unused to discomfort so he continued until the older man was fully sheathed in him. His own cock was now fully hard, leaking from the tip as he placed both hands on Angel's shoulders. Raising a brow, he gave him a look that should've been illegal as he smirked down at him. Angel groaned in response, not able to hold back anymore. He was trying to be gentle, but that look only served to make him thrust into him hard. Spike grit his teeth from the pain and pleasure, rolling his head back.
"God-!" He moaned. "Yes-!"
The two gave drawn-out sighs of pleasure, and after a moment Spike began to raise and lower himself. Angel looked up at him, Spike's pale skin reflecting the light from the streetlamps below, his eyelashes dark against his cheeks. Angel rested his hands on Spike's thighs, felt the muscles shift under his palms.
"Ah-!" Angel's head tipped back and he moaned loudly as he came.
The next morning, he awoke to cold skin pressed against his. Even though no warmth emanated from either of them, the body next to him felt warm. Spike shifted a little, turning around to face him.
"Mornin'." He mumbled sleepily.
"Hey."
It wasn't as awkward as they had thought to face each other after that. Angel was pleasantly surprised when they spent the morning getting breakfast and watching tv together as though nothing had changed much between them. He knew there had to be some future discussion of what had happened, but for now he enjoyed the peace. Going back to America could wait, seeing Illyria and the others, and the future battles that would pop up soon no doubt.
Time seemed to bring them back together, no matter what.