I'm still working on this story so I may not be able to publish as often as some might like, but I will try my hardest to post at least a chapter each week, and hopefully I'll be able to stick to that. I'm just barely into the story now, and don't honestly have a lot of time to write. So on that note I will apologize in advance for being slow to update. Though as with everyone reviews generally spur me forward and right into the writing mood to make everyone happy and give them their next chapter, so feel free to review with both constructive criticism and any thoughts you have. All remarks are welcome. And thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you in advance to all those who take the time to review and give their thoughts. They mean a lot, as every writer knows. I hope you enjoy this tale, which should in fact be tumultuous, a roller coaster through and through, with good times as well as bad.

Thank you

Chapter One

Brennan had been having an average day at the lab. She had no open FBI cases and finished up with the paperwork from her last few modular skeletal storage, or Limbo as most in the lab referred to them, remains. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was only seven P.M. and she decided rather than starting on a new set of remains, that would end up keeping her in the lab well past midnight, she would settle for writing on her book. She was idly opening the file on her computer when it happened.

The ringing of her office phone. Of course she didn't think anything of it at the moment, why would she? She often received calls to her direct line at the lab. She never even thought twice answering it. This phone call however turned her world upside down in mere seconds. "Brennan," She spoke in her usual dismissive manner into the phone.

Her demeanor didn't change when the voice first spoke; she simply held the phone to her ear slightly irritated at the interruption. As the voice continued to speak however her spine stiffened and her heart raced as her eyes grew wide in disbelief. She felt as though she was going to actually have a heart attack as panic began to set in. This can't be happening.

Trying to calm herself enough to speak she began taking deep breaths as the voice continued relaying information. "Where did you say?" Her voice was shaking as she spoke and she mentally chided herself. Her hand was also shaking as she reached out for a pen to write the information down. What she managed to scribble down on the paper was barely legible, but as she was unable to control the tremor running through her body at the moment she figured it would have to do. She could at least understand what she wrote, having heard it.

After abruptly hanging up her desk phone she shut off her computer, still trembling violently, as she tried to calm herself, mentally she went over all the things she would have to do. Once she had regained most of her decorum she stood gingerly, almost afraid that the tremors she had experienced would once again course through her limbs. Luckily they did not, and she was able to go about her office rounding up her things. As she finally had her jacket on and her laptop bag dangling from her shoulder she set out to see Dr. Saroyan, hoping that she would still be in the office at this late hour, as she noted her watch stated it was now 8:30 P.M.

As she walked she pondered how long she must have sat trying to regain control of her body. She was appalled that she lacked the self control in this situation that she usually prided herself on. Still she could feel the unbridled panic beginning to edge its way towards the surface again as she reached Cam's office. She reached out to knock however noting how dark it was inside the office she let out a long sigh. Cam had left and Brennan needed to speak with her immediately to let her know she wouldn't be available for the next few days at least.

As she continued walking towards the exit she managed to pull out her cell phone and surreptitiously dialed Cam's cell number. Once she heard the click indicating that Cam had picked up her phone Brennan didn't even give her a chance to speak, "Cam, I apologize for the short notice but I have an important issue that I have to deal with right away and will be unable to report to the lab for the next few days at least."

Brennan had thought she was being blunt, that there would be no questions, however Cam's response told her otherwise, concern evident in her voice, "Dr. Brennan, is everything okay? Is this a work related issue or one of a more personal nature?"

"Dr. Saroyan it is of a personal nature which I would prefer not to discuss. Although if you are looking for specific reasoning for my prolonged absence from the lab I suppose you could state that it is a family emergency of sorts." Brennan rattled off before giving herself time to adequately think through her answer. She was now in her car turning the engine over as more important thoughts flew through her brain, thoughts of packing and booking flights.

"Dr. Brennan," Cam sounded even more concerned now and Brennan was getting frustrated as she pulled out of her parking spot and drove toward the exit after putting her phone through the car so that she didn't need to hold it and could concentrate on driving. "Is it Russ? Or your father?"

"No Cam really it's nothing for you to be concerned with. I'm sure I'll be back in a few days and everything will be fine." Brennan stated firmly.

"Alright Dr. Brennan," Cam sounded exasperated now, "I suppose I'll be waiting to hear from you when you are able to determine for how many days you'll be out of the lab."

"Thank you Dr. Saroyan." Brennan's voice had calmed slightly now that she no longer had to make explanations for things she wasn't really certain she understood herself. "Please do me the courtesy of keeping the fact that I am away on a family emergency to yourself as the last thing I need in the midst of this mess is Angela or Booth giving me grief over this."

"Dr. Brennan," Cam sounded shocked now, "You mean, Booth and Angela don't know you are…"

"No Dr. Saroyan," Brennan hastily interrupted her, agitation now evident in her voice, "This is a personal matter to which they have no business being privy." To anyone who didn't know Dr. Brennan she would have come off as cold at this point, but Cam knew better. Brennan didn't realize that had either of those two people heard that comment it would have stung them. She simply believed she was capable of handling things for herself, and generally, Cam had to acknowledge, she was right.

"Alright Dr. Brennan," Cam let out through a sigh as she tried to figure out how she would explain the doctor's sudden absence to her overprotective FBI partner, not to mention her prone to freak outs best friend without spilling the proverbial beans, "I won't tell them that you are out on family business, however they will surely realize something is wrong if you haven't contacted them."

"That's fine Cam, I'm…" Brennan's voice was now shaky, Cam realized for the first time it had had a slight tremble throughout more of the conversation, "I'll deal with it when I get back. Thank you."

"Let me know if you need anything Dr. Brennan." Cam stated, though Brennan barely heard as she was already disconnecting her phone as she pulled into her parking spot at her apartment. Rushing out of the car and up to the apartment she placed a call to the airport and secured a first class ticket, one way as she wasn't certain how long she would be staying, to Portland, Oregon.

While she had been securing her flight she had made it into the apartment and into her bedroom. After ending the call she tossed the phone haphazardly onto her bed, and proceeded to pull out her suitcase and lay it atop her bed as well. Splaying it open, she grabbed articles of clothing out of her drawers and tossed them into the suitcase. Brennan was normally a meticulous person, organizing her articles and laying them neatly into her suitcase, this time however she felt her heart rate speed rapidly as she packed and all she could force herself to think was that she would need clothes. She couldn't bring herself to take the time to lay them neatly in her suitcase as her anxiety rose once again. How could this happen. I never…never even considered something like this might…

Her thoughts trailed as she went to her bathroom to pack her toiletries into a smaller bag. Shoving everything she would need into the small bag she then stuffed it into her overflowing suitcase as well before slamming it shut and zipping it. She then reached across her bed for her phone and pocketed it, glancing at the clock she saw she had two hours until her flight, which immediately flooded her with an irrevocable sensation to regurgitate. She fought the urge as she acknowledged that she had to get to the airport soon or they wouldn't allow her to board.

She locked up as she left her apartment, her mind was centered around one thing alone, what was she going to do when she got there? All her fears came rushing in on her as she drove to the airport. When she arrived and acquired her ticket to the outside observer she would have appeared calm and collected, as most usually would describe her. However on the inside her mind couldn't stop racing with 'what ifs'. What if I hadn't ever? No that was wrong to think. What if I get there only to be rebuffed? What if I'm truly hated? What if this is all a misunderstanding and I get there only to have to turn around before I even get to see… Disappointment flooded her as she thought of that possibility, while her fear seemed to heighten at the rest of her quandaries.

After finally boarding she attempted to calm herself, but to no avail. She just couldn't believe this was happening now. Her life had finally been in a comfortable place, she loved what she did, and she had complete confidence in her abilities. That is, until that phone call. Although amidst all the panic lay another sensation she was having trouble identifying. A feeling she could only describe as pleasant, that is until a plethora of other emotions began to take hold, she was flooded with feelings of guilt and remorse, anticipation and joy, which sadly led her right back to panic as she tried to compartmentalize all of these feelings and found that she could not.