AN: Hey guys, so I heard the song 'Slow Dancing in a Burning Room' by John Mayer quite a while ago and I absolutely loved it. Then, I went to see a local musician and he played this song and throughout the whole thing, all I could think was 'wow, this would be the perfect opportunity to practice writing some Niff angst!' so yeah, this idea popped into my head. I'm pretty awful at writing angst so I apologise if this sucks, but hey, practice makes perfect I guess! Hope you enjoy
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned, or the song used in this story
It's one thing having your heart crushed by unrequited love. It's one thing to have someone, and then have them leave. However, Nick's heartbreak was different.
He was so sure that Jeff felt the same. He'd seen the flirty looks, the blush on his cheeks when they were alone together. He'd felt that rush when their hands accidentally touched. And that kiss… that drunken kiss at The Warbler's Christmas party… there was something there. Nick refused to believe there wasn't. However, he must have been mistaken. He must have been because one Sunday afternoon he walked into his and Jeff's shared dorm room and was met with the sight of the blonde lying underneath Sebastian, their lips connected as they kissed passionately. Nick's eyes widened and a choked sob bubbled up in the back of his throat. Upon hearing the door open, Jeff has disconnected his lips from Sebastian's and looked over at where Nick was standing frozen.
"Oh god Nick… I'm so-" Was all Nick heard before he turned and fled the room, running down the corridors of Dalton, looking for somewhere to hide.
He made his way to the common room, empty at the weekends due to most people either going home or being out with friends… or making out with Sebastian. Nick's face crumpled at the memory of what he had just seen. Jeff. His Jeff. The boy he loved, lying there with Sebastian.
"Stupid. Stupid stupid idiot" Nick screamed to himself, his fist connecting with the wall next to him, slumping in the corner of the room, hidden from view through the doors by a large book case. Why had he ever even considered that someone like Jeff would be interested in him? Someone so beautiful and perfect would never eve look at him that way. But Sebastian? Really? Sure, he was attractive, but Jeff deserved so much better than someone who would just use him and then move on.
Nick's heart hurt. It physically hurt to breathe, his breaths coming out in shaking sobs that wracked through his whole body, his hands shaking as he moved them to run through his hair, moving it out of his tear stained face. He didn't know what to do, who to go to. Jeff was his best friend, any time something was wrong he'd turn to the blonde… now that Jeff was the one causing the problem, what was he going to do?
After 10 minutes or so, he heard footsteps echoing down the hall. He quickly stood up, straightening his shirt before turning to look out of the window so anyone passing wouldn't see the tears still running down his cheeks
"don't be Jeff. Don't be Jeff. Don't be Jeff" His thought to himself when the footsteps passed the door before doubling back and stopping outside. He heard the door creak open slightly.
"Nick…" Blaine mumbled, moving into the room, walking over to the brunette by the window. Nick didn't reply. "Nick, talk to me. Jeff texted me… he's worried about you". Nick's body began to shake again at the mention of the blonde's name, his sobs now silent as he bit down hard on his lip. "Nick what happened?" Blaine asked, his hand on Nick's shoulder. The brunette turned towards his friend, looking so broken down.
"He… I thought he… and then Sebastian… and him… oh god" Nick whispered, crumpling into Blaine's arms, the shorter male hugging Nick as he cried.
"Nick I'm so sorry… you want to stay in me and Kurt's dorm tonight?" He asked, feeling Nick nod against his shoulder. He gave the distressed boy a sympathetic look before reaching for his phone, texting Kurt to let him know what happened. Kurt was not pleased with Jeff at all. It took all Blaine had to persuade Kurt not to go over to where the blonde was and give him a piece of his mind. Luckily, when Blaine and Nick got to the room, Kurt busied himself with looking after Nick, sitting with him as he cried
"I thought he loved me" Nick sobbed, sitting in a pair of Blaine's old sweatpants and a Dalton sweatshirt Kurt had been given on his first day
"Shh Shh, I know Nick. We all did too" Kurt said, his arm around the crying boys shoulder, "We were all so convinced, I still can't believe what he's done to be honest"
"I was going to tell him. Tonight. I was going to tell him how I felt. I was so sure that he felt the same; I thought it'd be so perfect and romantic" Nick whispered. Kurt gave Nick a sympathetic hug, knowing the next few weeks were going to be extremely hard on Nick.
He managed to avoid Jeff for the whole of Monday's lesson, taking different routes through the school, even skipping French to avoid the blonde. However, when Warbler rehearsals rolled around, there was nothing he could do. When he walked through the door and saw Jeff sat on a couch next to Sebastian, he nearly turned and ran. However, Jeff quickly looked up and met Nick's eye, the blonde looking so broken, and his face dropping when he saw Nick. He was about to stand up and say something when Wes banged his gavel on the desk, bringing the meeting to order.
"Okay, does anyone have anything they'd like to share?" David asked, looking around the room. Nick stood, shooting a quick glance over at Jeff before turning back to the council.
"Yes, there's a song I'd like to perform" Nick said. Everyone had heard about what had happened at the weekend, and before Nick had even spoken, they knew there was something he needed to get off his chest. Wes extended a hand, indicating to Nick that he should begin. The brunette picked up a guitar that had been sitting resting again a wall, sitting down so he could clearly see Jeff. Everyone knew who the song was intended for, why be subtle about it?
He began playing, the sound of the guitar filling the hall, a few people faces lighting up with recognition of the song, and Jeff himself sitting forward to listen as Nick began to sing
"It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm,
This is the deep and dying breath of,
This love that we've been working on"
The heartbreak was evident in his voice; however a new emotion rang through: Anger.
"Can't seem to hold like I want to,
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobodies gonna come and save you,
We've pulled too many false alarms"
As Nick moved into the chorus, some of the Warblers in the room began to join in quietly, harmonising with Nick, creating a beautifully heart-breaking sound. Nick looked up; his eye's connecting with Jeff's, who held his gaze as he continued to sing
"We're going down, and you can see it too,
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed, my dear
We're slow dancing in a burning room"
Nick had to look away when he saw a tear roll down Jeff's cheek. Part of him was glad that the blonde was realising how much he'd hurt Nick, however his heart still wrenched at the sight of Jeff crying. However, as he continued to sing, the anger he felt started rising, showing through in his face and in his voice
"I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby you're the only light I ever saw.
I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can"
Nick almost growled out the words, wanting nothing more than to show the blonde how this wasn't something they could just pull through easily. This was probably it, the end of whatever it was they had been
"You try to hit me just to hurt me,
So you leave me feeling dirty,
'cause you can't understand.
We're going down, and you can see it to,
we're going down,
and you know that we're doomed, my dear,
we're slow dancing in a burning room"
The tension in the room was shocking, the warblers still harmonising along with Nick to try and distract themselves from the intensity of the emotions flying between the two boys. Sebastian and Jeff were the only ones not singing, the brunette sitting with his arms folded, looking unimpressed
"Go cry about it, why don't you?
Go cry about it, why don't you?
Go cry about it, why don't you, my dear
we're slow dancing in a burning room"
Nick's eyes connected with the crying blonde's once more, Jeff biting his lip, his chest rising and falling with silent sobs. He couldn't believe he'd made Nick feel like this. He never wanted this to happen.
"Don't you think we ought to know by now?
Don't you think we should've learned somehow?
Don't you think we ought to know by now?
Don't you think we should've learned
my dear we're, slow dancing in a burning room"
The hall was silent once Nick had finished no one even breathing. Suddenly, Jeff let out a slightly choked sob. At this, Nick stood up, giving a nod to the counsel in thanks before swiftly leaving the room. He walked down the hall, managing to hold himself together better than he would have expected. However, when he made it to his and Jeff's dorm, he finally let the tears fall. He quickly got out his suitcase and started to pack up all of his stuff into it. It wasn't long before he heard the door open.
"Nick…" Jeff breathed, voice weak from crying, his eyes red and his hair messed from running his hand through it. "Nick talk to me… we can't fix this if you won't talk to me"
"Were you not listening at all?" Nick said, turning around to look at the blonde, hating the way his heart still fluttered at the sight of him. "We're doomed Jeff. Okay? I love you. God, I love you so fucking much. But it will never be enough. It doesn't matter how much I want to forget about this and go back to thinking you felt even an ounce of what I feel. I thought you loved me Jeff. But I guess it all meant nothing to you. And if that's the case, this is never going to work. You can't just apologise, and then hope that we can just move on from this like nothing happened. I was going to tell you I loved you, but instead I found with someone else. If that's the way it is then fine. But I won't be messed around anymore."
"Nicky… I'm sorry" Jeff sobbed, his voice cracking in the middle. Nick shut the lid of his suitcase, picking it up with one hand. He moved over to the blonde and gently pressed his lips to Jeff's forehead, letting them linger there as a tear slipped down his cheek.
"Me too…" He whispered before turning and walking out of the dorm, and out of Jeff's life.
AN: Wow. So that was the most angsty thing I've ever written. I was considering having them work things out at the end, because I'm a sucker for happy stories, but I think this just fits better tbh. So yeah, hope my first angst as too horrible; please tell me what you think!