New Year's Resolution, a glee fanfic

Title: New Year's Resolution

Pairing: Quinn/Santana – Quinntana

Summary: Part of the Season's Greetings saga. Rachel is having a New Year's party at her flat in the city and invites everyone from her old high school days. Quinn and Santana reunite after being separated in their marriage for a few months, can they get things back to the way they were on this last day of the year?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING BUT THE WRITING

Final part of the saga. Happy New Year's Day, enjoy and review. Follow the Tumblr and I'll let you guys in on some new writing I'm planning. Thanks guys! (lacksubstance . tumblr . com)

…

Arriving early to Rachel Berry's flat in Manhattan seemed like a good idea at the time, Quinn thought, so she could avoid any potential hazards, like traffic and her soon to be ex-wife. She made the right choice because some people she didn't know and some people she did were among the other early arrivers, but no sign of Santana.

Rachel smiled widely at her and instantly took her coat, like a true host would. She shared the flat with Brittany…yes both Santana and Quinn were as shocked as anyone else are, but don't be alarmed they swear they're just friends and Brittany is paying rent. She goes on tour so frequently that it'd seem ridiculous to just keep crashing at one of her friend's places for days and weeks at a time. Rachel just offered her place up and it was really well tamed, but of course, why wouldn't it be when Rachel is the one living in it?

"Quinn it's so nice of you to come. I know it was probably extremely difficult to find a babysitter for the little ones on such short notice, but I really am elated you decided to show," Rachel rants as she places her coat in the closet.

"It's alright. I'm glad you invited me and since Santana's parents moved out here and Juliana is already fourteen, it's really just Nick that they have to keep an eye on," Quinn explained. Santana and she moved out on the island, Long Island not too soon after that Christmas that Santana nearly missed. Santana also knew it was much safer for them to raise their children there, rather than the city.

So for work, they would both commute through the subway to get to their respective offices. It wasn't a stretch and it was definitely better than driving, but their house was well kept and the neighborhood was magnificent to both their standards.

"Oh and Santana isn't here yet, but I told Kurt that we'll make sure you two aren't near each other at all throughout the night," Rachel gossips to Quinn in a hush tone. Quinn nods with a sigh; it was evident Brittany's roommate would know about their separation—quite frankly she wasn't surprised that their entire old high school crew knew about it.

Quinn wasn't sure when the turning point was for their marriage, perhaps it was always evident they were just never going to remain together for the rest of their lives. She swore it wasn't her that caused any of this tension, but she knew Santana would believe the same thing.

But she believed it was most definitely her wife that caused all of these problems; more like her occupation. Perhaps it was that fair Christmas when Juliana was four and Nick was just a baby. She nearly missed it because of the contract and the weather. They've lived further north their entire lives, it should've been obvious to Santana that weather would become a factor, but her wife didn't seem to care; she just wanted that contract.

There were times where she'd miss dinner to stay late at the office or not even come home and just sleep on the couch that was planted in her enclosed office because she was working so long because it was unsafe and impossible to get home. Quinn, at the time, didn't mind that, until it grew so frequent that she just couldn't avoid it any longer.

For a long time, she assumed Santana was just cheating on her, but if she knew anything from movies and television it was that when there was a cheating spouse they'd have some signs pointing to the infidelity. Like another girl's panties, unknown scents, numbers they've never seen in their spouse's phone, unknown charges on their account, but none of that clicked to Quinn. There was no evidence pointing to her cheating on her.

No doubt she was thankful for that, but she just couldn't handle it anymore. So when Santana came home late from work one night, she saw Quinn sitting on the couch, she kissed her on the cheek and walked into their room. She began taking her work clothes off and saw a simple note on her pillow with only four words written neatly on it.

I want a divorce.

Santana had never been so blindsided before in her entire life.

But Santana loved her wife and her family, therefore she gave her what she wanted. Only they have yet to sign any divorce papers; just separated.

…

Santana arrived an hour after Quinn and was instantly greeted by Rachel. Needless to say, she wasn't thrilled to be here, but she knew Quinn would be; her parents told her so she made sure she was going to show up. She had only one New Year's resolution and that was to get her wife back, one way or another she wanted her back.

She no longer lived in the house they shared in Long Island, but a two bedroom apartment for when her kids decided to visit. It wasn't much, but when she didn't live with her family anymore and it's usually just her, so it was enough.

It's not the same though. Not being able to fall asleep next to Quinn and hold her in the night. Wake up to her in the wee hours of the morning; she missed that—where did it all go?

"Ah Santana, thank you for coming," Rachel states grabbing her coat and tossing it in the closet, which was now full to the bone. Santana flashed her a small smile in an awkward fashion, as it should be since her best friend wasn't even going to be here to help her through this mess.

"Thanks for inviting me, is…uh Quinn here yet?" Santana asked, placing her hands in her pockets as she scanned the open room for her wife. She didn't see her, but she knew it wasn't just because the place was packed because she knew that didn't stop her from spotting her.

Santana looked at Rachel for a moment waiting for her to respond to her question, but Rachel just looked like a deer in headlights—she's here, Santana thought. So she walked away from the shorter girl, tired of her silence. She wanted to find her wife and get their marriage back, but it's kind of difficult when you're not sure of exactly all you've done.

She never cheated on her and she thought their relationship was perfect or so she thought. When Quinn asked for a divorce, she was devastated and she tried saying she'd change, but Quinn wouldn't have it, so she took the day off from work to move her stuff out into an apartment—any apartment she could find because standards didn't matter; she just wanted to respect Quinn's wishes.

She scanned the area full of people and instantly spotted Quinn by Kurt. She had a drink in hand and was laughing loudly at something he had said. Her head was thrown back in hysterics—she looked happy and it broke Santana's heart, because it wasn't her who was doing that.

So much has gone wrong and she wanted it all to be fixed. What's one thing Quinn always wanted? Quinn wanted a lot; she wanted to be settled down, married, with children (two minimum), with a good career; she had all of that and it still wasn't enough. She sighed in defeat, she obviously wasn't a good enough wife for her, so she walked out on the balcony to hide away from the guest—she just wanted to be alone.

…

Santana stood leaning forward on the railing with a drink in hand, overlooking the brightly lit city. This has been a dream, to escape the little town of Lima and embark on bigger and better things—New York seemed like the place. From here, she could see the ball lit over Time Square and all the traffic below trying to get to it or just simply get where they need to.

It was a beautiful sight and completely surreal, but she's here with her friends and her soon to be ex-wife. She wanted to be with her wife and not have to keep thinking in her head she'll be her ex soon. Everything was just happening in fast motion. It felt like just the other day that they were in Lima and Santana was getting scared half to death because of a low budgeted Halloween attraction, and they shared their first kiss together—it's amazing how things change.

She sighed sadly and placed her head down on the rail, closing her eyes to take in the cold—she didn't even have her coat on; she just let it consume her.

The balcony door opened and Santana turned around to see Quinn sliding out of it with a drink in hand. Santana's breath hitched her throat, taking her beauty in. She still looked as amazing as ever, not that it's been long since she's seen her, but to have her standing before her she just couldn't react any other way.

"It's cold out here. You should be inside, so you don't get sick," Quinn spoke. Santana looked down and breathed out a chuckle, shaking her head at the gesture. "What?" She asked with a small smile.

Santana looked back up at her lovingly, taking small steps towards her so she knows not to overstep any boundaries. "You've always been so worried about my health," Santana says and Quinn looks down to hide the blush that crept upon her cheeks.

"You look beautiful tonight Quinn," Quinn's eyes shoot up at Santana to see her still staring at her, taking a sip of her drink. "You really do," she mumbles into her cup.

Quinn is silent at this point. She sees the guilt that's plastered in full view on Santana's face, but she doesn't know what to do. She's hurt, but not broken. She wished she could say the same about her wife. They haven't really spoken since the evening when she left that note on her pillow. All their conversations were about the kids and who had them on which day and when Santana could come and grab the rest of her belongings.

This has really been the first civil time they've had together with just them and Santana was looking split between sadness and regret while Quinn looked lost and desperate. In all honesty, Quinn loves Santana whole heartedly—still does, but in her heart she believes this is the right decision for her and her children.

"I miss you," she hears Santana whisper and she has no choice, but to close her eyes at the words—they sounded pleading and needy. She knows she probably has tears in her eyes—both of them most likely do and she knows Santana's is not from the alcohol.

"Santana," she breaths out, turning her head away from her. She hears the clicking of her heels, but never dares to look in her brown eyes because she knows once she does; she'll give in to everything.

"No…please," Santana begs, grabbing her free hand. When Santana gets in view of Quinn's face, spotting the tightly sealed hazel eyes she misses so terribly, she notices the tears seeping out of them. "Baby please…I need you," she begs once more and Quinn rips her hand out of her grasp.

"No Santana just stop. Just stop all of it!" She's frustrated; taking multiple steps back and finally looking at her. She sees the tears making their journey down her wife's cheeks and she shakes her head, not so much out of spite but secret sympathy. Regardless of this being Santana's fault, she hates that she's hurting so badly.

"But—,"

"No! You care about us now? Now that you don't have your family, you suddenly care? Who the hell do you think you are Santana?" Santana stands there in disbelief and it suddenly all makes sense. She may not have cheated with another female, but she knew there was one thing she spent most of her time doing when she should've been at home at a reasonable hour—her job.

It truly was her fault. She realizes that now. Maybe she did deserve this—not having her family there to wake up to. Maybe she deserved it.

"Quinn, I can change that. I can be home at a reasonable hour, I will never crash at the office again, I'll even try and be home early. I can be everything you need me to be, just please…" Santana sobs, taking steps towards her only to have Quinn step back and shake her head.

"You know Santana, it's empty promises because how do I know you won't go back to your old ways?" Quinn challenges, placing her hand on her hip as Santana advances towards her.

Santana sighs and stares deep into her eyes. "You just have to trust me," she tells her as Quinn casts her eyes down to the ground.

"I can't," she answers, not even bothering to look back up.

"Quinn I didn't cheat on you!" Santana yells in irritation. She just spent long hours at work. Sure she's had other women approach her in the office and ask if she needs anything in a suggestive tone—she knows when it's suggestive, she fucking invented it! But she always brushed it off. It's always been about Quinn and their two beautiful children, providing for them so when they get older they can go to any college they want to. It's always been about them, but perhaps she went about it the wrong way.

Quinn looks back up when Santana used that tone on her and she just stands there, looking at her with such wretchedness. "It would've hurt a lot less. At least if I knew you were missing all those anniversaries, family dinners, and holidays because of another woman, it would've just meant I wasn't good enough for you. But missing it all for work, that just means we know what's more important," she tells her, before walking around her and back into Rachel and Brittany's flat.

Santana stands there with her mouth slightly gapped in defeat. She was right though. She made work her number one priority. It was bound to happen after that Christmas. She screwed up and she knows this, so maybe she just doesn't deserve anyone. Not Quinn, not her kids, not even Brittany who is still her best friend—she didn't deserve happiness.

Santana chugged the last of her drink and went inside. She threw the cup in the trash and grabbed her coat in the closet, before leaving. She didn't say goodbye to Rachel or anyone else—she just left. Unbeknownst to her though, someone spotted her and with the sadness plastered upon her face, she stayed and watched the closed door for a moment, hoping that Santana would return. After about twenty minutes, she didn't and she knew at this point she wasn't going to—she missed her already.

Her pocket started buzzing and instantly she was snapped out of her trance, and pulled the phone out.

Mi Amor:

I've realized all that I've done. I'll admit I didn't right away, but I see it clearly now. I don't deserve you, Juliana or Nick, but I love you three so much. You guys are my world and my heart, but this is me apologizing. I don't expect your forgiveness, I don't deserve that either. But if you do decide you can and we can work this out, please meet me in Central Park before midnight.

I'll love you always Quinn.

Quinn exited the text message after reading it over multiple times, before sighing. She was conflicted between making things right with Santana and standing her ground. She checked her phone; it was a little after eleven and she really was unsure if she should go to Central Park or not.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She looked up and saw Rachel standing next to her—she was positive she wasn't there for long though, otherwise that would've really scared her.

She breathed out. "Something like that," she mumbles, plopping down on the couch, holding her phone in plain sight. Though the text was no longer on the screen, it was still fresh in her mind.

"Did you see Santana?" The couch shifted and she knew Rachel has sat down next to her. Quinn nodded slowly not making eye contact with Rachel because she still had to decide if she was going to go or not.

"We talked but briefly. She sent me a text after she left and asked me to meet her in Central Park before midnight, that is if I decide to forgive her," Quinn explained to Rachel, who was taking a sip of her drink and nodding to every word.

"Sounds like a predicament. Evidently you still love her, otherwise you would've decided long ago when she sent it that you weren't going to meet her. But you're sitting here, thinking about whether you should or not," Rachel elaborates and Quinn looks up at this, hoping that she could give her better guidance than herself. Sure, she would never ask for Rachel's advice in a million years, but she was desperate.

"Tell me what to do," Quinn whispers to her and Rachel looks at her with disbelief, which instantly changes to a small sympathetic smile.

"I think you already know what you want to do. You don't need me to guide you in that direction. Whether it's right or wrong is for you to decide, but as long as you're happy with your decision in the end is when you know it's right…if that makes any sense at all. I've had a lot to drink so I'm not nearly as wise as I could be," Rachel explains, making Quinn laugh slightly but nod nevertheless. She knew what she meant and she was pretty sure on what she was going to do.

…

Santana paced back and forth by the fountain. It was lit beautifully and she could hear the crowds of people all around her, but she tried to mostly ignore it. It was ten minutes till midnight and she was beginning to worry that Quinn wouldn't show.

"Maybe I do deserve this," she whispers to herself, staring down at her feet. She sighs sadly and was about to leave, when she sees Quinn standing behind her.

She was breathing heavily and stalking towards her at a slow pace. Santana's breath caught into her throat again. It seems as though Quinn had a way of doing these things to her—leaving her breathless. That's when you know you're truly in love with someone—when they take your breath away at the mere sight of them.

"You came?" Santana breathed out in confusion and Quinn just stood there, taking deep breaths and letting them out uneasily.

"I want you…" Quinn drags out and Santana stands there waiting for her to continue, and Quinn catches on to that. "That's it. I just want you, but I can't bring myself to trust that you'll want me and your family back. After a week, a month, what happens if you decide you're comfortable and care less about us and more about advancing in your career?"

Santana walks closer when Quinn begins her rant and cups her cheek with her hands. Tears begin to brim Quinn's eyes with each word spoken as she stares back in Santana's eyes.

"I'll never do that again. I didn't even realize how badly it was affecting you three until recently. I know I invested more time in work than my family, but I thought since I was providing for us that it meant I was doing the right thing. My dad was never really around much because he was too busy working. My mom didn't care because she didn't have to work—she had money coming in. I should've realized all I was doing because I lived through it—you lived through it. We understand each other and I'm so sorry about that. I shouldn't have made you relive that sort of thing again. I love you and the kids so much. I just want to go back to the way things were—better than they were," Santana expresses with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her words came out more like pleads and Quinn melted into them instantly. Santana just wanted her family back and deep down Quinn wanted the same.

"San," Quinn asks, wiping her wife's tears away with the pad of her thumb. Santana looks deep into her eyes.

"Yeah?" She chokes out through untamed sobs. Quinn truly saw that Santana was in fact hurting, possibly worse than she. Of course, Quinn is the one who has the final call and ultimate power in this situation.

"Can we be in love again?" Quinn whispers to her, licking her lips. Santana breaths out a small chuckle not being able to control the overwhelming feeling that she's feeling in this moment. They may not be exactly the words she was searching for, but she needed to hear something of the sort.

"When did we ever stop?" Santana tells her, before leaning down and taking her lips into her own. Crowds of people are screaming and hollering all over Central Park and Time Square. But that didn't matter to neither women; it was just them and no chants of Happy New Years'.

Santana held Quinn closer to her by the waist as Quinn wrapped her arms around her wife's neck. Both of their tears mixed with each other's, but they didn't care. They missed the feeling of each other's lips on the other. They craved for it—and they've received it. Now neither one will ever let go of it or they'll have to make another New Year's resolution.

"I love you," Santana breaths into the kiss and Quinn smiles into it, taking Santana's bottom lip between her teeth—Santana loved when she did that.

"I love you too," Quinn replied, stroking her cheek with her knuckles gently.

…

Later that early morning, Santana and Quinn laid in bed—their old bed in Long Island cuddled up after making up for lost time. Santana kissed Quinn's bare shoulder as Quinn traced the outline of the tattoo Santana got that was dedicated to her.

Love is powerful. Love is grand. It beats the odds through the sands. It holds us together like a knot. That neither man nor woman can break it apart.

It was one of the first things Quinn ever wrote and Santana remembered loving it, so she decided to get it tattooed on her side, so her words will always be with her.

"Through hearts and minds we intertwined. Never will we part," Quinn whispers to her, kissing the ink gently up to Santana's face to stare up at Santana, who smiles and leans in, kissing her deeply as Quinn laces her hands around her wife's back, ready to make up some more for lost time.