I do not own Wario, Waluigi, or Mario Kart: Double Dash. They belong to Nintendo. This was written purely for fun.
This is a true story; my brother was playing as Wario and I was playing as Waluigi.
Double Dash Disaster
"Alright, Waluigi, just go nice and easy."
Wario was still trying to figure out just what possessed him to allow his brother into the driver's seat to his large expensive purple car. Still more curious was the fact that he had allowed his brother take the wheel on Toad's Turnpike, of all places. Not only was Wario concerned about the other seven cars present for the race, but there was going to be actual traffic on the road. Hell, they were going to be driving by bombs on wheels… 'Only in the Mushroom Kingdom…' Wario thought to himself.
Waluigi scoffed as he slipped his stick-thin body into the driver's seat. "What are you talking about? I'm a good driver."
The noise that escaped from the round man was a mix between a forced laugh and a pained sound. Still, Wario reluctantly walked around to the back of the car and readied himself for the race. The man in yellow and purple tore his eyes away from his brother in purple and black to look at the other racers present. Why they always started in eighth place was beyond him. At the front of the lined up racers was Baby Mario and Baby Luigi, in their (laugh) baby carriage car.
The regular traffic drove by the group of racers without hesitation, driving along as if they weren't even there.
'What a stupid place for a race…' Wario grumbled in his head. 'What got into that bloated little mushroom's head to select this location as his track?'
The plump man was broken from his thoughts when Lakitu appeared at the front of the racers, holding the lights to signify the beginning of the race. Wario nervously drummed his fingers on the trunk of his car.
"Are you sure you want to drive, Waluigi?" he asked again. "When was the last time you've even driven?" It was always customary for Wario to drive; Waluigi had incredible aim when it came to using weapons.
When Waluigi responded by revving the engine, Wario's eyes drifted to Lakitu. "Okay, Waluigi…just…" Red. "…nice and easy…" Red. "…just go nice and easy."
Green.
Wario pushed off with a determined grunt as Waluigi floored it, giving them the all-famous Double Dash booster.
It was too much for Waluigi to handle. He let out a surprised yell as the car immediately flew forward and he twisted the wheel to the left in a panic. The car instantly veered into the mass of accelerating racers.
Baby Mario and Baby Luigi never saw it coming. One second, they are happily starting the race; the next, a giant purple car was bulldozing into their baby carriage and plowing them straight into a truck driving by.
Their screams were nothing in comparison to Wario and Waluigi's. After hitting the guardrail, Waluigi over-corrected and flew into the left side of the truck. The car flipped several times, Wario hanging on for dear life. The truck driver just kept on trucking.
The car somehow managed to land on its tires with little damage. They sat motionless for a moment, both too stunned to do anything. Wario let out a pained groan and began to pull himself back up onto the back of his car when Waluigi began laughing maniacally.
Wario gave his brother a mortified look, one that questioned his sanity. Before Wario could say something, Waluigi took off, the car shooting forward.
"What are you laughing at?" Wario shouted once they passed the truck that had run both them and a pair of babies over. "What is wrong with you? You could have killed us! You are the worst driver in the history of drivers!"
Waluigi stifled his laughter long enough to turn and give his brother a brief eye. "At least we're not in last…"
Wario cocked an eyebrow and stole a look over his shoulder. Sure enough, there were two racers behind them.
The man in the driver's seat grinned when an incredulous bark of laughter escaped from Wario. The brother on the back of the car leaned forward, a smirk on his face. "Alright, Waluigi, keep going, but if you pull another one of those, I'll see to it personally that you are thrown under the wheels of that truck."
A/N: Wow, I have finally stepped away from the Batman fandom to write something entirely new for me, but this was just begging to be written. My brother and I were playing the game over the weekend, and he is always the driver and I am always the weapons person. Well, we decided to switch it up...I have never been good at driving games, but I am at a whole new level of "SUCK" when it comes to Mario Kart games.
This little event had my brother and I in tears with how hard we were laughing at my horrific driving. We must have watched the beginning of the replay at least five times.