Pure Pure Crack
Summary; Woot woot! Okay so this is a CRACK story. It's only about 500 words per chap at least. Maybe more. But the pairings in this are just WTF pairings. Not all the pairings are in the Naruto world. About half are with real people. It just makes sense on some…and some with make you wanna throw up or cry from how twisted it is. Enjoy
"Oi!! You missed a spot!"
"Yes dear."
Standing over her cleaning husband, the blonde girl gave a evil smirk. She loved doing this to her poor poor man. When she had first fallen in love with him it…caused a scene. His 'family' was trying to talk him out of it by threatening to kill him. And her own two brothers…they ended up throwing up from the thought of the couple. Oh well. Eight months after their first date at the beach, they were married. They had Tsunade from the leaf village be their priest since Temari's brother refused to do it when it was Kisame. He couldn't stop gagging long enough to do it anyways.
That was a year ago. Now, they lived happily in a large three story house in the Sand Village with a indoor pond for her husband and his obsession with fish. No, they had no children, they tried of course but to no avail. It seemed Kisame was sterile. And the thought of that made Gaara and Kankuro fall over laughing. Only…Temari had some news. And with her insecure husband he would end up jumping to conclusions until she hit him.
"Hey Kisame."
"Yes dear?" Temari smiled at the pet name.
"I have some news." Kisame returned the smile as he stood up and took the blonde girls hand, leading her to the living room. Sitting down on the large over stuffed chair, he pulled Temari to his lap.
"Now what is it?"
"Well…" Temari bit on her lower lip. "I'm pregnant…"
Kisame blinked a couple of times at his wife before gasping with tears in his eyes.
"YOU CHEATED ON ME!!"
"What?! NO!"
"Yes you did! You don't love me anymore!!" Temari stared at her sobbing husband as he rambled on. He sounded like a woman.
"-Why is it you never take me out anymore? You have been with another man haven't you?! It's why your pregnant! Waahhhh What about the vows you made to Love me endlessly unless the you got the chance with a hot kinky Baywatch boy?!" Temari rolled her eyes. She hadn't said that….She had said Hot kinky Bondage Baywatch boy. Sighing and placing her hand on her husbands head she gave a smile.
"I did not cheat on you. Where else would I find someone like you?"
"….Target?" SMACK!
"I'm trying to be nice!! But really…It's your baby."
Kisame gave a grin as his mood swings made him to jump up and dance with Temari. "We're gonna be parents!! Suck on that Itachi!" Temari smirked.
"Oh and if the baby is blue, I will kill you."
o-o No not ask!!! It just came to me along with a million other crack pairings. XD I think this one is one of the more WTF pairings though. Anyways, the next one is Orochimaru. If anyone can guess who he's with I'll write them their own one-shot with any pairing. Crack or not. ;P So until the next Pure Pure Crack!!