I feel the inexplicable need to contribute to this fandom once more.
Anomie
"Well, that did nothing for me."
...
The streetlights did not shine of Johnny's street—or rather, they did not shine in front of his home. Johnny could see out of his window the light that coated the road and Squee's house.
Like a black hole... Johnny thought, miserably. This place sucks in... "all the light" from everywhere. "More like... a supernova..." don't get close to this house... Don't get "close" to me...
...
Johnny hated Devi. That's all he could remember in terms of emotion toward her. There was nothing before; back when he was so simply pleased to watch her in the bookstore, the beginning of the date, in fact, much of the date—All of this was forgotten. All Johnny could feel was burning fury and piercing melancholy.
...
Things never went right. Johnny found this out early in life, but found there was a reminder of this every single day. Brain Freezies were one of the few things that made Johnny happy—but when the whole trip turns sour, too sour for even Johnny's tastes, is when the real problems begin.
The store should know him by now. They should know what he likes. He's always there. Always getting the same thing, or at least a variation of the same thing. They should know.
...
"You hear that? Only pussies don't smoke."
Johnny saw red. He did not remember what happened next (that happened sometimes), until he was shoving far too many knives into one woman's mouth. Johnny didn't stop. He finished the massacre, before returning home. Johnny was unable to recall why he'd gone out in the first place.
...
Squee was a symbol of innocence and purity—at least in Johnny's eyes. God know why Johnny was even at the mall, but when he saw Squee all by himself, Johnny felt something akin to caring. For the first time in a long time. Johnny relished in this feeling—a moment too long though.
Shit, where the fuck did he go?
Johnny only caught sight of Squee's back as he was being lead out of a back entrance to the mall. Johnny automatically knew what he had to do.
Educate Squee on strangers.
...
This movie is "so beautiful..."
Small whispers slowly interrupted Johnny's appreciative thoughts, as well as his undivided attention to the film.
I wish I could... even... fathom... My life "is nothing but" despair.
The whispers grew into light chatter. This distracted Johnny completely from the film, his mind spiralling downward into a loop of self pity and self depreciative thoughts.
...
The thoughts from the movie caught up with him days later. Johnny was moping, and in limbo about listening to the DoughBoys. It was never an easy choice listening to one of them. Their decisions usually seemed fine at the time, but often led to some less than opportune consequences.
A tazer straight to the brain was not one of them.
Johnny was invincible.
...
There was nothing Johnny disliked more than being controlled. Of course, it is human nature to resist being controlled, yet Johnny considered himself not quite human since he was found to be unable to die. So, simply, it was a Johnny-quirk.
The DoughBoys, the Wall-thing, even Nail-Bunny sometimes attempted to control Johnny and his actions. The ultimate rebellion to the control would have been to murder senselessly, and yet, when half of those controlling you seemed to want you to do that, it was hard to follow. Unfortunately, it was one thing Johnny was good at.
It was as he told Nail-Bunny; he was not happy.
...
Ffffuck. FUCK. Why am I saying this to her?
"Your friend should suffice for a new coat...
"I haven't painted it in over a week, you know. It's started eating the dried blood now. I can feel it there, smoldering. Furious at my disobedience."
She doesn't need to know... all this shit. Let her die in peace. Fuck.
"Furious at it's little disobedient slave. Some people get genies, I get this.
"Well, fuck you! You listen to me! If I'm gonna kill anybody it's because I want to! Not because you tell me to, you... you... WALL!"
Fuck. Why did I have to say... that?
"You... You're..."
And now she knows.
...
Johnny liked to pretend he did not know what would possess him to build such a contraption. Oh, how he would pretend. Unfortunately, the truth was always close to the tip of his tongue; on the top of his mind. Thoughts of self hatred consumed him, as well as the feeling of being used. It was all too much. Far too much.
It had nothing to do with Psycho DoughBoy or Mr. Eff—Johnny knew it had to be done in order to escape his current reality. There was no other option.
The only thing that surprised him was when the phone actually rang.
...
Fucking... potato.
Fucking reject jelly beans.
Well, um, multi-chaptered.
This one was only a quick over-view of the comic up until the point I would like to go from.
I never update constantly. :C
-Taryn
Apparently ff dot net does not like my hyphen page breaks.
Have to deal with the ellipsis for now :c