Still a living Innocent by ThePen23/Shea
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel mentioned Castiel/Dean
Warnings: hinted slash, hinted suicide, Dean bashing
Words(no ans): 1,106
Summary: Four times Gabriel trys to show Sam he's still innocent, no matter that he started the Apocalypse, and the one time Sam believed. Prequel to Please Gabriel?
ONE
Sam glared. How dare he stop him! He didn't understand! Sam wanted, no needed, it.
Gabriel stared at the man in front of him with sorrow, and pain filled eyes, as if the thought of what Sam was doing physicaly hurt him. And it did. It hurt worse then Dean's stake to the heart did.
"Give it back, bird brain!" Sam snarled. Gabriel shook his head. The bloody knife sat limply in his hand, looking innocent, as if it hadn't been cutting in to the soft flesh of it's master's wrists.
"Now!"
"No Samual. Dean would be disapointed." It was a low card, Gabriel knew, but hopfully it would get through to the man. Sam's face twisted, reminding him of some of the demons he had seen.
He closed his eyes brifly, trying to remember the man Sam was before. Before Dean had died, before Jess was killed, before the Winchester clan broke, broke into millions of peices.
"Why not?" He looked at him.
Sam hated the pitying glance on the angel's face, wanting to just rip it off, to rip his baby away from his hand, to feel the bissfull pain.
They stared at each other. A few frusterated tears escaped Sam's eyes, starting what seemed like a flood of them.
Remembering his powers, Gabriel vanished the knife, and pulled Sam into his arms.
"Because I care." Was the simple answer Gabriel gave, placing a kiss on the top of Sam's head. Sam pushed away, angery. What gave him the right to care, after all the pain he had caused?
"Leave Gabriel!" Gabriel flew away.
TWO
"Why do you do this kiddo?" Gabriel twirled the knife in his hand. It was a week since Sam's first attemp, and now they were in the same position. Sam angery, blood dripping, and a sorrow filled angel across from him, with a bloody knife in his hand.
"Because." He had never sounded so childish since he was a child, and that had stopped by the time he was ten.
"That's not an answer Sam-I-Am" Gabriel frowned, crossing his arms, knife vanished, back with the first. In the trunk of Impala. Personly he blamed Dean, really, who leaves their brother, on the verge of a mental breakdown, with so much pain, saying you can't trust them, when that's what they need, is trust. Who? A Winchester.
"It's none of your business feathers" Sam's face wasn't as demonic as before, but not quite human.
"I think it is. You see I have more interest it you, then my dear elder brothers. Everyone has a soul mate. We bird brains usally have another bird brain, but me and Castiel, always had shitty asss luck. We both got stuck with damn Winchesters." Gabriel smirked at Sam's shocked face. Then it grew ten times angnier then at the at the Mystery Spot, where he had kept murdering his brother.
"Yeah well when you've been lost, left in the dark, kicked when down, hurt, stabbed in the back by friends, family, lovers, everyone, to have no one, then come fine me" Sam punched the empty air where Gabriel's face had been.
THREE
The scence was getting too familar for both of them.
They were in the same poistion they been the past two times they had met.
"You forgot that I ran. You know before I left home, I watch over half the little ones, Castiel included. They all looked up to me. When I left, I remembered getting their prayers, all addressed to me. They pled with me not to be dead like Michael said, to be hiding. A few hundred years ago Castiel, Chamuel, Anael, Yofiel stopped. Anael fell, Castiel's falling, Chamuel's hiding from everyone, trying to find dad, and Yofiel... He was killed. Last prayer I got was from him, asking for my help as Michael and Raphael killed him. I was too slow. So while I haven't been through everything you have, I have been through just as much pain." Gabriel's eyes never left Sam's.
"I-I didn't know." There was a pause.
"My dad, we tell everyone that he was so mad because I wanted to leave... Anyone who was around could tell it was a lie, he always wanted us to go to collage, he couldn't handled that I had fell in love with a guy from school. That I was bi. He told me that if I really loved Sean, to get out and never come back. We were together for a year after before the gulit and resentment destoryed what was ever there." No one spoke, not wanting to break the bissfull silince.
"No more" Gabriel muttered againest Sam's lips, pressing a kiss, and then, he flew.
FOUR
Gabriel was disapointed in his mate. Here they were, same place, knife in his hand , blood dripping off Sam's. The only upside was instead of the ussall week, it was almost two.
"Why?" Sam just snarled. Gabriel should have visted, the voices, the voices that told Sam to end it, had spoken to to him, broke through any barriar Gabriel might have created for him.
"Give it back." And a step back. The last time, with their heart to heart Sam hadn't asked, resieted, even when he wanted to, simpley because he knew Gabriel would cave.
"No Sam. Remember, you will be missed, even if it's just by me, and whoever you would have save. Even if it's just us" He hugged Sam, the knife already in the Impala, ignoring his struggles. That night he stayed as Sam slept but was gone before moring.
one
Sam had already flung the knife away, hugging his knees to his chest when Gabriel arivved. Gabriel knew that this time, it would work, because Sam wanted it to. He didn't want to cut anymore.
Gabriel held him as Sam cried, he cried for his mom, and his dad, and Jess, and Dean, and Sean, and Maddison, and everyone he had ever known, and loss, and been betrayed by, or hurt by, he cried for the sorrows of the world, because he had that weight on his shoulders.
But he told Gabriel stories. He told him of Dean freaking out one time because he gave Sam to much candy and he got sick, and of his dad teaching him to shoot, he told of happier times.
Gabriel just held his broken mate, slowly helping him back together.
That night the bond was seal, because Sam needed to know that Gabriel would always be there even if only in the shadows.
When Dean called him back less then a week later, Gabriel followed.