Did you ever have that feeling , the feeling that made you sick , that pit in your stomach that you just cant make go away. That you would do anything to make it go away , anything to feel better. Well that's how I felt everyday, everyday I was home, that feeling of being helpless , the only time I did not feel that was when I was out and I could be someone else, not many people knew about my real life. The one and only person who lives the same life I do it my older brother Toby. He deals with it in another way, he just deals with it, he tries to please the one person that treats us like shit, that is never there for us and I don't understand why he does that. He always told me it was because he wanted our family back, back to the way it was when we were little. I had told him a million times that, it would never happen our family had changed so much , that it could never go back to the way it was. I was a lot different them him in that way, I would do other things to forget about things that went on in our family. Running was a big part of me and it's what I did almost everyday. I ran up the three steps to my house and I open the door and that's when that pain in the pit of my stomach hit. I walked into my house and put my hands on my knees and started breathing kind of heavy and I tried to catch my breath. Just then I heard Toby from the kitchen
"Mike that you?"
I took my hands off of my knees and started walking towards the kitchen. Toby was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book on cars. Ever since he got that dam book three days ago he has not put it down.
"yeah it's me"
He did not look up from his book, to answer me he just started talking as he turned the page
" How was the run?"
I walked passed him and walked towards the refrigerator, I opened it and looked around not much food but it was enough for my brother and I. I grabbed a water bottle and twisted off the cap and started chugging the water in-between chugs I started to talk.
" the run was good"
" that's good"
" yeah Tob timing is great eight minutes for a mile"
" that's nice , but can you do it and be able to breath at the same time" he laughed but that was not really funny.
" you know I would be able to run better if I did not have asthma"
That was one thing about me, I loved to run but sometimes I just could not push myself because I really could not catch my breath.
I finished the rest of the water bottle and held it in my hand. I sat agents the counter I took my left hand and wiped the sweat from my far head.
" dam it is hot"
" it's the end of August M ike " I just rolled my eyes but it's not like he looked up from that book to notice. Then I looked at the water bottle in my hand and looked at Toby's head, I took the water bottle and fling it at the back of his head. He turned around in his chair and made a fist.
" shit Mike, grow up"
" grow up? What I am only a year younger then you"
" see you are wrong already"
"what?"
I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, maybe that book was taking over his whole brain.
" you are a year and five months younger"
" good for you , you can do math" he looked at me again and laughed " yeah maybe I can teach you "
" haha your so funny"
In a way he was right , I knew I had some growing up to do, but I was stuck in my own world with my music and hanging out with my best friend Jack, and school and growing up was just not part of my plans at this point in time. My main focus was to learn how to drive , I had just turned sixteen last month and Toby had taking me driving. You would have though my own father would take his younger son out driving on his sixteen birthday but our father has not been around for ten years. Toby and I had gotten a few birthday cards but that was about it. I guess getting a car from my father was crazy thinking, but when Toby let me drive his car it was sweet and all I could think about was getting a job and being able to buy my own car and just taking off whenever I wanted to. So maybe in some kind of way I was growing up, just not the way Toby had to grow up. Toby had to be a father figure as well as an older brother and I knew that was hard for him at times.
Just then the phone rang Toby went to get up but I pushed him out of the way and grabbed the phone .
" Mike!"
I laughed to myself and picked up the phone
" Hello" I sat and listened to this women's voice on the phone, she sounded like some slut and I knew who this was.
" Mom what do you want?" she talked in slurred words and I just listened and rolled my eyes, when in the hell was she going to shut up, so I could just hang up.
" yeah mom whatever you say bye"
I hung up the phone and turned around to face my brother
" that was mom?"
" yeah Tob she said she is not coming home tonight, said she is at some friends house, I don't know"
" alright whatever" I could tell It bothered him a lot but he played cool , like he did not care. The truth it was me who did not care, she was hardly ever home and when she was our lives were drama. So sometimes it would just work out better if she stayed out.
My cell phone started to go off in my pocket, I took it out and flipped it open. It was a text message from Jack. I started to read it and then I looked up , I had promised him I would be over at 6 to hang out.
" Tob what time is it"
"630 why you can't tell time either?"
" shut up"
I was just about to leave and walk to Jacks but then I turned around to Toby
" want to give me a ride?"
He shook his head no
" come on Tob please"
" why you can walk three blocks it's not going to kill you , hell Mike you just finished running two miles"
" yeah and I am tired"
" Mike"
He closed the book and looked at me then he started to get up and as he did he grabbed his car keys off of the kitchen table.
" Come on Tob you know , if I could drive I would drive myself and I am your little brother you know you love me"
I must have used those lines four times a day and I think those two lines always worked it always got him to say yes. We walked out to Toby's 1997 green blazer and as Toby and I got into the car he looked at me.
"you're a big pain in the ass"
"Come on you know you love"
" never said I did not love you , your just a big pain in the ass"
I shook my head " fair enough"
" so what are you and Jack going to do tonight"
Then he stopped me as I went to answer him " shit man you guys hang out almost everyday, what the hell can you do?"
That was true Jack and I hung out a lot , we had been best friends since we were babies and we told each other everything. There were things that Jack knew about my family that only Toby knew and there were things I knew about Jack's family that only Jack and I knew.
We pulled up in front of Jacks house and I looked at it for a minute it was falling apart the white paint was chipping and the black shudders were falling off of the windows the trees and bushes around the walk way needed to be cut and the grass was almost knee high. I felt bad for Jack his family had falling apart three years ago when something tragic happened. Jack came walking towards the car his blonde hair dangled in front of his left eye and he always had on a white tea shit and blue jeans. I started to get out of the car and Toby grabbed my arm " Be home by ten"
" Ten are you nuts" it was summer why in the hell did he want me home at ten that was crazy talk
" Come on Mike, school is in two weeks and your not really a morning person" how the hell did me coming home by ten relate to school in two weeks.
"Tob I -"
" Mike come on"
" alright ten is it bro"
I wanted to fight with him but something told me not to, deep down I was kind of glad someone cared about me and was looking out for me. I got out of the car and put my hand on the side of the door and leaned in to talk to Toby again.
" Thanks for the ride"
" No problem"
" you need a ride home"
I shook my head , no I will be alright I can walk"
" are you sure"
" yup no worries" I shut the door and Toby drove off and left Jack and I standing there.
Jack looked at me and slapped me in the head with his hand and laughed.
"ready to have some fun tonight Mikey boy" I smiled at him
" hell yeah man, what movie we going to see?"
He looked at me and laughed , and I just looked at him back and gave him a confused looked why the hell was he laughing that's what we where going to do tonight.
"Mike I had something else in mind"
" like what?"
"just come on, lets start walking" then he turned around and started walking to the side of his house. I followed him and watched as he opened a red cooler and pulled out a beer bottle.
"what are you doing?" he grabbed another one " here take one" I shook my head " I don't want one" he popped open the cap and started walking back to the side walk.
" you coming?"
I ran up to him and tried to get the beer out of his hand
" Jack why are you drinking that?"
He took a swig and then looked at me "it makes you relaxed , it's not bad"
"does the word illegal mean anything to you?"
"Beers not illegal"
" when your sixteen it is"
He shook his head " stop" I could see I was not going to get any where with him and it was only one beer, so I kind of let it go. " where are we going anyway?"
"into town"
That was a dumb answer because town was big, It was within a mile from our houses but town itself was about two miles long.
" where in town are we going?"
"Chester's pub"
I stopped walking and just pulled Jack by the sleeve.
"what?""
"yeah it will be fun, shoot some pool hang with the boys have a few drinks"
He was making me crazy " Sixteen mean anything?"
And plus what boys did he know, Jack did not have much friends after the death of his older brother Kenny. He kind of shut down three years ago and the only person he would talk to was me. I felt bad for him, I knew it hurt him everyday because when his brother died his family also did. All he has left was his dad and his dad did not think twice about Jack.
"come on Mike it's not a big deal, people let me in the last two times, I was here"
"what two times?"
" remember last week, Toby was teaching you how to drive, well I had nothing to do"
" not fair , I asked you to come"
" There's not point in learning how to drive , I will never have a car and plus the only two teachers I would want would have been Kenny or my dad and you know that's not happening"
"dude"
I hated when Jack had a point but just used it so he would not have to start to grow up. He only wanted to grow up when it came to the things he wanted to do. I blew my mind away that he did not want to learn how to drive. That was mad ass cool and I loved getting in the car and just driving. When I turned sixteen last month , the day of my birthday Toby took me out.
" Mike listen I came down here with some people and they got me some drinks, they got me into the pub, it's cool they no people. The people they know don't ask questions on age"
He gave a big smile and started walking faster " come on man we are almost there" He took another swig from the bottle and then handed me the bottle " I still don't want any" he just shook his head and held the bottle in his hand. Then we came up to this building with big blue neon lights that blinked the word Chester in the window. People where standing outside and looking at us , looking at the pub. They knew we were not older enough and I knew this was not going to work. Know what Jack has said about people letting him in the other night and not caring about his age.
" Jack come on lets just go home"
"Mikey just chill out, think of older women"
Just then this tall white skinny guy came over to us, he was holding a beer bottle in one hand and a cig in the other. His hair was so dark that it blended in with the night sky. He walked over to Jack and slapped him on the back. " Jackie what's going on man?" Jack smiled " hey Tim , what's good" Tim smiled and then looked at me " who's this?"
" this Is my buddy Mike"
" That's cool , you boys want to go inside"
" No shit" Jack answered and I followed Jack and Tim into the pub. The pub was painted brown and yellow and the lights where dim and in the middle of the room and this bar, people sitting around. Some where screaming and some laughing and talking. Jack slapped me on the back " come on isn't this cool" I shook my head yes. I could not lie this was mad cool and I just wanted to go play some pool. Jack followed Tim to the bar and order three drinks, one he handed me the drink I turned it down. It was fun to be here under age but still the idea of drinking did not fly with me. Jack took the one shot and Tim drank the other two. Just then this other guy who was a little shorter then Tim walked over to us. His hair was dark brown and his cloths made him look slim with his black sweat shirt and black jeans. I know this guy, his name was Kenny Tamer , he was part of Jerry's gang or the people that acted tuff in our small town of Bellmore. He was not a bad kid but Jerry could make anyone do bad things.
" Mike? , Mikey as in Toby's little brother?" that was the one thing everyone from Jerry's ganged knew my brother because he was the only person who was not scared of them and would knocked them on there ass or put up a real good fight.
" yeah it's me"
Kenny just shook his head " shit kid you have no idea what you are in for tonight" Then he walked over to Jack " please tell me you have his money" " what money?"
" shit Jack don't play dumb that's the worst thing you can do"
" No I don't have all of it not yet"
" how much do you have?"
" 50 bucks"
He looked at Jack and laughed " what?"
" man that's all I have"
" so why the hell would you show your face, around here?"
I looked at Jack and there was something I did not know and something he wanted to keep from me and I was mad. What the hell was going on and why did he need to pay Jerry money.
" how much Jack?"
Jack looked at me " just quite Mike"
I started to take money out of my back pocket all I had was 20 bucks but he could not owe that much more what the hell did he need to buy.
" Kenny I have 20 more does that cover it" he smiled at me and laughed " hell no kid"
" Jack how much dam money did you barrow from Jerry?"
" Jack what the hell is going on?"
" Mike just shut up please"
Then Kenny and Tim looked at the both of us , Kenny started to talk " Come on man, I got to take you to him, last time he told you not to show up with out the money and what do you do, you show up without the money. Kid come on do you even think?"
We followed Kenny and Tim to the back of the bar, there was this small little room with empty beer can and beer bottles on the floor. There was one chair on the left side of the wall and sitting in the chair was this guy with short light brown hair he was a pretty big guy and he was looking right up at Jack and I as we walked into the room. He was holding a glass beer bottle in one hand and he took a swig and then he stood up. I know this guy this we Jerry and I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. This guy may not have scared Toby, but he scared the hell out of me. He was someone who did not care what he did or when he did it. As long as he was getting something out of the deal he was open to any idea. He was in jail six times in the past year. The only reason his ass was allowed in this bar was because his dad knew people and did not care what Jerry did with his life. I looked around the room some more trying to look for an escape because for one things Jerry was pissed at Jack and he was also drunk I could smell it on his breath. There was an exit door but Tim was blocking it and I had to be dammed if I though I could get passed him.
" Jack, Jackie you have my money?"
" I have 50 bucks and Mike here has 20"
" That is not going to cover anything man!" he was mad and I backed away from him and pulled Jack by the arm.
" listen Jerry I know, I need to give you a lot more , but I am working on it , I just don't have it right now"
" a lot more?"
"yeah Jerry I know that"
" Jack $600.00 bucks man I need that money"
I just looked at Jack, what the hell could he use $600.00 bucks for I was confused and I could not help myself.
" what the hell you need that much money for?"
Jerry smiled at me " oh he did not tell you?" I shook my head no and tried to stay clam
" your friend needed money for some beer , well lots of it, he also lost some of my money in a pool game and lets not forget some of the pot he got the other night"
I was ready to kill Jack myself what kind of mess was he getting himself into, I just did not understand. Jack looked at me and then looked at the ground. I did not have pity on him anymore, this was his fault and I was not going to help him dig himself out. This was his crazy ass mess and I was just stuck in the middle of everything.
" Jack what the hell were you thinking"
" Um I don't know"
Jerry then looked at Jack " why did you come here without my money, didn't I tell you not to show your face here until you had my money?"
" Yeah but-"
" No kid there is no but"
Jack just looked at me and I knew he did not know what to do, hell I had no idea what I got myself into. I should have told Jack not to come but I went along with him like I always did, and I always had to save his ass but this time was different. Something was going to go down and we both knew that.
Jerry pushed Jack to the ground "what the hell man" he kicked Jack in the side and I could not take it anymore, I was scared of Jerry , but he was not going to beat the shit out of my best friend. I tackled Jerry as he was kicking Jack in the side and knocked Jerry to the ground. I got in a few good punches but then it took a turn for the worst. Jerry had me on my side and was punching me in the face. One of the rings he had on his finger sliced the side of my neck. I tried to cover my face, but then he just started punching my stomach. I rolled over on my side . I though maybe he was going to stop since I was not fighting back, but he took his foot and kicked me in the side.
"Jerry stop the kid did not do anything to you" Jerry stopped for a second to look at his friend Kenny
" he did not do anything , he tackled me to the ground" he said in a pissed off voice and I could tell Kenny just pissed him off twice as much. I tried to get up as he was talking to Kenny but I was to weak everything stung and the gash on my neck was bleeding I could feel the warm blood drip down onto my chest. Then Jerry turned back to Jack and I. " Get up punks now!" he yelled but I just closed my eyes and did not move, I could not move. " get up now punks!" I still did not move but I could hear Jack start to get up "we are getting up just chill" I did not know what the hell he was talking about , maybe he was getting up but for me I was fine right there and I was not moving. Jack came over to me " Come on Mike get up" I did not answer him at first and then I heard Jerry's voice "come on get your punk friend up before I get him up myself"
"Come on Mike get up" I could hear it in Jack's voice that he was getting scared but to get up was just going to kill me. I opened my eyes and looked at Jack and shook my head no. " what do you mean no, come on man get up" he pulled my arm and I rolled over onto my back and he grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I was leaning on Jack as I looked at Jerry through one of my bashed up eye. " get out of here punks before I do more damage" Jack and I walked out from the back door and the outside air was hot and sticky , but I could not walk right and I was staring to fall. Jack was a big boy but I knew he could not hold me up the whole way home. I started to fall and Jack held me up, " hey look at me man" I lifted up my head a little and even that was painful.
"what?"
" man look at you , you took a real beaten" I shook my head yes
" can you walk home?"
I though about that question and I also though about the pain I was in and I knew it was not a long walk but I was in so much pain and I just wanted to sit down and not move.
I looked at Jack right in the eyes and shook my head no
"Mike what do you mean no?"
Was he on crack or was he just stupid, I felt like crape and I knew I looked like it to.
"alright man sit down" he helped me sit down on a bench down the block from the bar, I laid my head back on the cold meddle backing on the bench.
"Mike should I call Toby"
I looked at him and then I though for a second , Toby , shit what time was it , I reached into my pocket and the pain that went from my head to my back was crazy. I flipped open my cell phone and looked at the time. 11:30 he was going to flip but I had to call him and ask him to come get Jack and I. Jack sat down next to me " do you want me to call him?" I shook my head no and I started to dial my house. I put the phone up to my ear and all I could hear was ringing.
Why the hell wasn't he picking up the phone , I was just about to flip my phone shut when I heard Toby's voice, I put the phone on speaker because to hold it to my head was giving me a headache.
"Hello?"
"Tob it's Mike"
There was a pause on the phone " where the hell are you?" if only he knew what Jack and I had got ourselves into he would flip even more.
"In town"
" do you know what time it is?"
" yeah" I was not going to fight with him , I was wrong but Jack and I had got beaten up pretty bad, so I had a good reason for not being home when he told me to.
"Mike you alright?" I think he had picked up on something , and I think he knew something was wrong.
" Tob can you just come get Jack and I"
" where are you?"
"Town" was he not listening to me
" where in town Mike" if I told him where Jack and I was close to he would know what was going on and what we had done tonight, even though I did nothing and still go my ass kicked but he was never going to believe that, so I guess I had nothing to lose , once he saw my face he would know something went down.
" The Winchesters pub"
" the what?"
" come on Tob , just come get us please"
" alright be there in five"
"Thanks"
He hung up the phone and I knew he was not happy but I felt like crape and I could care less what he was thinking right now. I put my phone back in my pocket and looked over at Jack, Jack looked down for a second and then looked back at me.
" I am sorry" I shook my head I was mad at him , he was not telling me the truth but most of all he was digging a whole he could not get himself out of.
" what happened man?" I asked and I was not sure what he was going to come back with but I was hoping it would be the truth.
"Mike I just barrowed some money from Jerry"
" Jack some money is like 50 bucks not $600.00 bucks"
" yeah I know-" he was still talking but I was getting pissed as I started to replay the events of the night.
" why didn't you just asked Tob and I for the money" then I just looked at him and rolled my eyes
" Oh yeah because you used it for all that shit, come on man beer , drugs and pool games , what the hell were you thinking"
"I was not thinking"
" Dam straight man, now what are you going to do about it" there was a pause and I knew Jack was at a loss of words, he always had something to say and now he just looked at me and just put his head in his hands.
" why would you even start?" I tried to raise my voice but my head got this sharp pain in it , Jack faced me
" do you want the truth?"
" yeah that would be nice"
" the other night my dad started talking about Kenny , how he wished he was s still alive and just all this shit, and I knew he was drunk but he said me and him had nothing in common and I though maybe if I could hold down my liquor like he does , we could hang out and just chill and maybe my dad would like me and I could make him proud of me , like he was of Kenny"
How could Jack want to impress his dad , he hated his dad and he was nothing like his dad.
" Jack that is crazy , you want to go down the same path Kenny did, look where that got him, man he is dead because of all the drugs and shit"
" I know but I can handle myself Mike"
"you can, because tonight you were not in control"
" I know and I am sorry, and it wont happen again"
I knew he wanted to mean what he said, but for some reason I knew it was going to be real hard for him. I felt the side of my neck and some blood came off onto my fingers. I tried to wipe it off but the more I did that, the more it started to bleed. Right before I closed my eyes again I saw Toby green blazer pulling up, Jack hit my arm.
" Come on man Toby is here"
I just did not want to get up, so I just shook my head " that's nice" I heard Jack get up and walk over to Toby's car, I could here him talking and then I could hear Toby turn of the car and pretty soon I heard two people walking over to me. Just then I heard Toby's voce
" Come on Mike get up"
I did not even open my eyes it hurt to much "No"
"Mike now!" I was not sure if he knew I got the crape kicked out of me because it was real dark out and I knew he could not see my face. I opened my eyes and looked at Toby , he looked pissed, but he put his hand out and helped me up. It was real hard for me to walk back to the car and as he was helping me he started to question me "Mike are you drunk?" drunk that was crazy maybe he should be asking Jack that, because Jack was the one who had drank.
"Toby Mike's not drunk , he just got beaten up pretty bad" as Toby open the car door and the light went on he looked at me" holey shit bro" I looked at him but I did not say anything I really did not want to talk about it. Jack got into the backset and Toby got into the drivers set and looked over at me " who the hell did this" I was not going to answer him but Jack jumped in " Jerry" Toby just shook his head " That son of a bitch , I am going to kill him" I wish Jack would have just shut his mouth , I did not want Toby doing anything stupid.
Toby was stopped at a red light and looked over at me "Man your bleeding" I shook my head " I am fine"
"Jack give me the shirt I have in the backset" Jack handed him the shirt and Toby put it on the side of my neck. " Hold it there Mike" I did as he told and I just laid there and thought about everything , how the hell was Jack going to pay Jerry the money, I wanted to help Jack, but Toby and I did not have the money. I did not have a job and Toby had to pay the bills.
" Jack you spending the night?"
" Oh no Tob I can't"
"alright , so I will drop you home"
"Thanks"
We pulled up in front of Jacks house and Jack got out of the car "Thanks for the ride, and Mike I will text you tomorrow" I did not feel like speaking so I just gave him a wave and Toby shook his head. Toby did not say anything the few blocks back to our house and I knew he was saving it for when we got into the house and he could really take a look at my face. He pulled the car into the drive way and I got out, trying not to kill myself , as we walked up to the front door. He opened the door and I headed for the coach. "Kitchen now Mike"
"why"
" cause I want to take a look at your face"
" I am fine" I just wanted to go lay down and go to sleep why was he driving me crazy.
" I want to make sure nothing is broken"
I walked into the kitchen and sat down on the chair, he opened the light, and the light bothered my eyes, as I blinked them. He touched the side of my check and I moved in pain, "Dude" he rolled his eyes
" stop being a baby"
He walked over to the kitchen sink and took a paper towel and I watched as he put soap and water on it. He then came back over to me and handed me the towel " here put this on your neck and clean it off" I did as he told me and as I touched the towel with the open gash on my neck it stung . Toby then handed me an ice pack " put this on your eye"
" Come on Tob I am fine"
" put it on your eye" I put the paper towel down on the kitchen table and grabbed the ice pack from his hand and put it on my eye. He was treating me like a little kid and I was getting annoyed.
"Man they did a number on your face"
"Thanks Tob, way to make me feel better"
" Mike I am going to kill those sons of a bitches"
I shook my head no " what do you mean? No!" he asked and I knew he was pissed cause he wanted me to say go for it Tob , but the truth I wanted to leave well enough alone. I was a pretty much laid back kid, I did not like fights, the only two people I would start a fight with if they messed with me would be my mom or dad and hell my dad was never around, so I did not have to worry about him.
"Mike take a look at what they did to you"
" I know Tob , but it was not directed at me , it was Jack he just screwed up big time"
" I don't care Mike, he still beat the shit out of you"
" Tob leave it alone"
He shook his head no " what did Jack do so bad man?"
I sat there for a second and I knew if I told Toby the truth he would kill Jack, he kind of treated Jack like a kid brother, through the good and bad times. I knew if I did not tell him , he was going to find out on his own and then kill me for keeping a secret, so it was a real catch 22 for me.
I took a deep breath and started talking " Jack owes Jerry some money"
"How much money Mike?"
"a lot"
"how much is a lot?"
" Let's just say Jack does not have the money to pay him Tob"
" well maybe we can help him out"
I shook my head no " Tob man it's not that simple"
" why not?"
" Because he owes Jerry $600.00 bucks and I know we don't have that kind of money"
" dam straight little brother we don't , and what the hell does he needed that kind of money for, hell you two don't do anything all day but sit on your ass or get beat up"
What the hell was he talking about Jack and I did a lot of things and this was the first time I had been beaten up real bad.
" Mike why did he need that much money" This was the question I did not want him to ask this was the part I did not want to tell him because I knew he was going to flip out. He did his best to keep me away from people like Jerry and here I was following my best friend down a real dangerous path.
" Um some things"
" Mike this is not a joke, what was it for?"
I was just about to talk more when the phone went off , wow what a lucky timing but who the hell could be calling at this hour it was 1:30 in the morning. Then another though crossed my mind what if something happen to Jack, what if Jerry had paid a little surprise visit to his house.
Toby answered the phone , I stood and listen to the conversation.
" Oh is she , is she alright?"
He spoke in a caring voice but as soon as he said she , I knew he was talking about our mom and I did not care anymore.
"Tomorrow around 9 ok I will be there"
He hung up the phone and I just looked at him " what's going on?"
He did not say anything to me at first , he just put his hands to his face and shook his head
"Care to share Tob?"
" Yeah, Mike that was the county Jail, they are holding mom over night for drunk driving"
How the hell was she able to drink and drive she did not even own a car.
"Who's car Tob?"
" I have no clue , a friends I guess"
" so what's going on at 9 tomorrow?"
" Tomorrow morning I have to go pick her up'
I rolled my eyes " why can't we just leave her there?"
" Mike!" I did not understand why he was getting upset with me , he was the child not the parent and it was not his responsibility to take care of her at his age. It was her responsibility to take care of us , we needed her and she was never there for us.
" Come on Tob why do you have to go , it's not right"
" I don't care about right or wrong Mike , I am still her son, I have to get her tomorrow , you don't have to come"
I did not want to go , but it would not be fair to him to go by himself when I was going to be home all day. " No it's alright I will go with you"
"Thank Mike" I shook my head and gave him a smile and he slapped the back of my had
" Mike we should get to bed"
He was already for bed , as for me I was still in these dirty cloths, he went up to our room and I walked into the bath room, the white tile floors covered with our dirty cloths and the blue and white walls were starting to peal, I looked into the mirror on the wall and looked at my face, it was red and my left eye was already starting to turn black and blue, the gash on my neck was not bleeding anymore but it was still burning. I got into my black shorts and white tang top and brushed my teeth and walked into our room. I climbed onto the top bunk and laid my head down on the pillow. We had bunk beds ever since I was real little. I can still remember the night Toby and I started sharing a room, I started to close my eyes and drift into a dream state.
" Mikey get out of my way , I am trying to brush my teeth"
" Toby I want to go first"
" No I was here first"
" Toby I am telling Mommy "
" I don't care baby"
I ran out of the bathroom and into my mommy's room ," Mommy, Mommy Toby Is being mean" she followed me to the bathroom. " Toby are you being mean to your brother?"
" No mommy , Mikey just came in here and pushed me out of the way, and I was brushing my teeth"
" Mommy Toby called me a baby"
" is this true son?"
" yeah Mommy but he is being one "
" Toby you should not have called your brother that, and Mikey Toby was here first"
" Mommy why do we have to share a room , I like having my own room"
" I know Toby, but you know what we are going to use Mikey's room for , don't you?
"Mommy , Mommy I know"
" our baby sister"
" Very good Mikey"
" Toby you and your brother will have bunk beds"
" yeah I guess mommy that can be cool"
" Mommy can I have the top bunk?"
" Mikey I though you and Toby where going to switch every other night"
"No Mommy it's alright Mikey can have it"
" come here boys" she put our her arms out and Toby and I both ran into them
" I love you boys so much" she kissed both of on the head and then she smiled.
" can you feel that?" Toby smiled
" was that the baby ?" she smiled at the both of us
" put your hand on mommy's stomach boys "
" wow mommy is the baby going to come out now?"
" No Mikey she is just saying hi"
" come on boys to bed"
I ran into our room and climbed onto the top bunk , she kissed me goodnight and then she kissed Toby goodnight. "Love you boys"
" wait mommy when is daddy coming home?"
" later"
" what time?"
" yeah mommy can we wait up for him please"
" No boys , but when he comes home , I will have him kiss you goodnight"
" ok love you mom"
" yeah mommy love you"
"goodnight boys" she shut the light and shut the door half way
"Toby when is Mommy going to have the baby?"
" I don't know Mikey I guess in a few months , go to sleep"
"ok goodnight big brother"
" goodnight Mikey"
"Mike you getting up?" I opened my eyes and the sun was right in my face , I rolled over and put my head in the pillow. "For what?" I mumbled to Toby, I was tired my eyes hurt and I just wanted to stay in bed. I did not understand why the night would go so fast, and the day time would drag by when all you wanted to do was get back into bed . "Mike we need to get mom" I did not take my head out of the pillow as I talked " why, can't we just leave her there?" I heard him get up off of the bed and start to take him cloths our of the draw "come on Mike you coming or not?" I rolled over in bed and rubbed my eyes and it burned , I sat up in bed and Toby looked at me " you look like crap" I shook my head " yeah I feel like it too"
I was in more pain then last night, and every part of my body ached , I jump down from the bunk and looked at Toby "are you sure we can't leave her there" he shook his head " come on get dressed then we are going" he left the room and I changed my cloths , I got into my dark blue shorts and black tang top , I grabbed some socks and my shoes and walked out of my room, as I made my way down the stairs I started to put on my socks and as I reached the bottom of the stairs I sat down and put on my shoes. Toby walked out of the kitchen " you ready?" I shook my head yes and we walked out of the house , the sun had not even warmed up air, and the chilly air gave me an uneasy feeling. I sat in Toby's car and put my head back on the seat , I closed my eyes as he drove. The county jail was not that far maybe about 20 minutes away , but maybe I could sleep a little.
" are you alive Mike"
I shook my head yes hoping he would leave me alone and I could sleep just a little. Toby was stop at a red light and he hit my arm.
" how's your face?"
I sat up in the seat, knowing he would not let me sleep on the way there , then I touched my eye and my neck and I was still in a lot of pain.
" it's alright I guess"
He looked over at me " it does not look that bad , I guess"
" you guess?" what did that mean , did it really look ugly , not that I cared, having a black eye looked cool, it made you seem tuff.
" yeah I mean, I though it was going to be worse"
" hah thanks"
Then I looked out the window , there was two kids and an older women standing on the side walk. The two boys looked to be about five and seven and each boy was holding one of the women's hand. One of the boys were holding a baseball and that made my wonder if they were going down to the park to play baseball. Mom used to take Toby and I down there, and most of the time I just ran around the bases and she tried to catch me.
"Tob what is this like the fourth time in two months be are picking her up" he took his eyes off of the road for a second " yeah I guess"
" aren't you getting sick of it Tob?"
He id not say anything at first and then shook his head " yeah I guess but what am I going to do about it" I could give him an answer but I knew he was not going to like it so I did not say anything. He pulled into the parking lot and parked the car. He got out of the car, but I took longer to get out . " Mike you coming?"
" yeah , yeah"
We walked into the jail and this was not like the jails you see on TV, were the people are yelling and screaming and hanging out of the cells, this was a place were people came to sober up, or stayed until they were transported to the state jail. Toby walked over to the desk were a man sat , he had dark black hair and had on these big round glasses. He came out from the desk and looked at us "" long time no see boys"
We both shook our heads and then Toby looked at him " Jeff were is she?" we saw Jeff every time we came in to pick her up, he always made sure we did not have to pay anything when we came, he knew our situation but he also knew if he said something it would be bad for Tob and I and Toby turned 18 in less then a year so Jeff never said a word. He took out his key and opened a big white and black door
"she is straight down the hall boys"
Toby and I walked down this narrow hallway and one of the guards were standing by our moms cell.
"you boys come to get her?" he pointed to my mom as Toby and I shook our heads yes and walked closer, our mom came up to the cell and looked at us and then at the guard. She looked like shirt her hair blonde hair was sticking up out of her pony tail and her face was covered in dirt. As we got closer I smelt that smell the smell of alcohol. The guard open the door and our mom came stumbling out, she walked over to Toby and poked him. " how dare you , making me stay here all night" Toby looked down at the floor and I am the one who stood up for our mom " what the hell is wrong with you?" Toby glanced at me and I said nothing to him , she was being a bitch and I wanted her to know that. We walked back outside into the sun light and my eyes blinked a few times as they adjusted. I got into the front set of Toby's car and our mom got into the back set, there was no way in hell I would ever let her sit in the front, she was lucky Toby was the nice one and did not make her sorry ass walk home. I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes as Toby started to drive home, a few minutes into the ride I felt kicking on the back of my chair. "stop " I said it in a normal tone while my eyes were still closed. Nothing stopped and the kicking of more and more annoying. I turned around to face her. " stop it now!" I raised my voice and she just looked at me " move your set up" I turned back in my set and rolled my eyes and then I glanced over at Toby and he shook his head yes and I did as she said. The kicking stopped for a while , but I felt like we were hitting every red light there was to hit. It was at the third red light we were stopped at that the kicking started again , I turned around and screamed at her I could not take it anymore. "what the hell stop it !" and I knew she was the not the best person in the world but to curse at your own mother that was wrong , but I did not care anymore, she was the one that was wrong. She looked at me for a few seconds like she was confessed on what just happened . She was always the one cursing and yelling. She then raised her hand so fast that I did not have enough time to block it and she hit my smack on the side of my head. " don't you ever speak to me like that again" I went to raise my left hand , but I stopped myself , even I could not go to that extreme it would just be wrong. I turned around it my set and rubbed the side of my head , Toby glanced over at me " you good?" I shook my head no , how the hell could I be good , our mom was in the back set wasted and completely out of her mind and she just hit my across the head and Toby did not say a word. What the hell was w wrong with him. We pulled up in front of our house and with out even a simple thank you , our mom walked out of the car and stumbled onto our porch , she opened the door and I was surprised she even knew how to still use her keys. Just before I got out of the car , Toby grabbed my arm " wait" I tried to shake him lose because I was not really in the mood for the whole brother to brother talk.
"Come on Mike"
"what man"
"Listen I am sorry mom hit you" that part was not his fault and he was not understanding why I was so mad, I was so mad because he did everything to please her and she did everything to hurt us.
"Don't be sorry because she is a bitch"
" Mike she is still mom"
" NO Tob she is not , she used to be but no more"
" Come on Mike stop it"
I looked at him confused stop what , I was just telling the truth and he knew that , could he not handle the truth was it to much for him.
" Tob man face it she changed our whole family has changed and it is never going to be the same again" he shook his head no and then looked at me " don't say that Mike" I was only saying the truth and he had to understand that, that was one thing he could not understand and I did not know why.
" Man she hit my across the head"
' I no and that was wrong but you no she has her issues" I rolled my eyes and just got out of the car, I needed to go for a run to clear my head he was making me crazy, how could he say all this when all she did was fuck around and not take care of us. I heard Toby get out of the car as I started to run down the block
"where are you going?"
" for a run" I turned around to face him as I yelled back , then I turned back and I let the wind hit my face as I ran down to the park. The park was not far from our house it was a pretty easy run, when I got the park I looked around , there was not many people , I ran up this big grass hill and sat at the top of it , I looked up at the sky it was starting to get gray, but it had not start raining so I sat there. Our parents used to take us to this same hill when it snowed and we would play for hours sliding down it and racing.
" Toby that's not fair you and Mick are bigger"
" Mikey I don't want to go down with you , I want to go down with Micky"
" Big brother I want to go with you"
"No go down with Jack"
I ran over to our mommy ,"Mommy Toby wont let me play with him"
"Toby is this true?"
"No mommy , I told Mikey to race with Jack , so I can race with Micky:"
My mommy looked at me " son Toby just wants to be with Micky right now , you have Jackie" Toby ran off to be with Micky and I looked at my mommy "Mommy I just wanted to be with my big brother" she knelt down besides me " I know Mikey , but don't you want to beat him , in your race?" I shook my head yes
"Ok and you and Jackie can because you two are smaller you guys will go faster"
"really mommy really?"
"yes Mikey"
She kissed me on the top of my head and I ran off to find Jack
I blinked as something cold hit my face, I looked up and looked at the sky , it was so dark that it was almost black, and rain was coming down like crazy. I got up off of the hill and started to run down it. The rain and wind started to hit my face and I could not believe I was still in the same day, it went from beautiful out to gross and crummy out. As the wind blew in my face , I found it harder and harder to breath , I tired to push past that, but after a few more minutes of running I just could not. I slowed down and took my inhaler out of my pocket and took two puffs. The rest of the way I just walked and got soaked , and I was kind of annoyed at myself because I could not run. I walked into my house and lend agents the wall to try and catch my breath. I looked to my left and saw my mom sleeping on the coach , well she was more liked passed out.
"Mike is that you?"
"yeah" I answered him in-between breaths
I was still a little annoyed at him for sticking up for our mom. He was wrong and I knew he knew that. So I walked up the stairs and into our room, I walked over to the closet and changed my shirt then I sat on the bottom bunk and text Jack. All of a sudden there was this big bang and the lights flashed and just went out. I looked at my phone and flipped it shut this sucked I toughed to myself and got off of the bed , I started to walk out of the bed room when I saw Toby coming up the stairs. I let him pass me and then I followed him back into our room.