Saint Seiya: Satan, Chapter–Purgatory! The Manga: The OVA: The Musical

by Aayla Security

A parody of the controversial Saint Seiya season, updated every Sunday. In "Over the River" and "We are always, always, getting back together", Seiya and Shun rob a vehicle and are prosecuted. In revenge, they kill the driver, kill the judge, vandalize the tourist attraction, and try to kill the CEO. Against the back drop of Orphee's clingy country music.

1. Trailer

EXT. MONTAGE OF FAMOUS LANDMARKS AROUND THE WORLD SHROUDED IN DARKNESS

HADES: Ahem. Inhabitants of the Earth,
(sings)
Your world's about to be destroyed
There's no point getting all annoyed
Lie back and let the planet dissooooollllllllve

EVIL ARISES

EXT. UNDERWORLD

ALDEBARAN: That's impossible!

HADES: We're Gods. Trying to do impossible things is what we do.

THE LAST HOPE OF HUMANITY

EXT. FLOWERY MEADOW

ORPHEE: Who the fuck are you and what do you want?

SEIYA: Huzahhhhhhhhh! We are Athena's Saints!

SHUN: Yeah, he can be quite embarrassing.

AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

INT. WALL OF WALING

SHAKA: Elysium. A land without endless torture and anguish. According to the myths, it is where the good mortals will spend their afterlife. It is actually obstructed by a Wall that can only be passed by Gods. (pause) This is kind of hilarious, actually, You lying Motherfuckers.

THEY MUST FACE

SHIRYU makes a HORRIFIED face.

LAWYERS

INT. FIRST PRISON

LUNE: We must follow the precedents. (looks through record) In all precedents, without exception the defendant suffered eternal and everlasting punishment such as boiling oil and slow slicing. Well, to maintain legal integrity, off to the chopping block you go!

CONSULTANTS

EXT. BRIDGE TO SECOND PRISON

KANON: I eat lawyers for breakfast. Fear my misplaced comma!

MUSICIANS

INT. SECOND PRISON

PHARAOH: (sings to the tune of "I know It's Today") And my show

Will soon air

'Cause there is boo and there is laughter

I believe the textbooks I study

And then recite

EXTRAS

EXT. COCYTUS

YET-TO-DIE SPECTRE #1 (sighs) I have "Murder for Demonstration" written all over my forehead.

GODS

THANATOS (screams) You can't kill Me! I'm very important! If you kill Me, THE UNIVERSE WILL EXPLODE!

ENTER THE WORLD FLOWING WITH LIGHT WITH SEIYA

SPECIAL IMMORTAL UNIT rushes into some hole.

FOR GODDESS

INT. HOUSE OF HADES

SHAKA prepares to kill HADES!

ATHENA: Refrain yourself, My docile, immigrant minion.

FOR LOVE

INT. HADES' THRONE ROOM

ORPHEE plays his harp in front of HADES, day and night.

HADES: Oh, so I'm supposed to accept the sacrificial offering of your soul just so a woman who was supposed to die can live the rest of her unnaturally-regained life in crushing black depression that will kill her in the next year or so anyway? Absolutely!

FOR FRIENDSHIP

INT. HOUSE OF HADES

DOHKO takes hold of SHAKA'S SHOULDER in manly camaraderie.

DOHKO: Hey dipshit, instead of you do it, fail, then die for no reason, how about we do it, fail then die for no reason?

FOR FAMILY

EXT. SOMEWHERE IN HELL

Suddenly, IKKI comes crashing down from the heavens!

KANON: This is Ikki, the most powerful of all the Bronze Saints and possibly of all the Saints, probably because he really IS immortal and is even more overpowered every time he recovers. Like flu viruses and cockroaches.

FOR LOYALTY

INT. WALL OF WAILING

SHURA: AIEEE, IT'S AIOLOS' GHOST HERE TO EXACT VENGEANCE ON ME!

AIOLIA: How many times do I have to tell you?! See? My hair is BLOND. Therefore, we are NOT that alike!

AIOLOS: Hello, imbeciles.

AIOLIA: Oh.

SAINT SEIYA: SATAN, CHAPTER – PURGATORY! THE GAME: THE MANGA: THE OVA: THE MUSICAL

INT. HOUSE OF HADES

IKKI: What was the reason you wanted to destroy the world again?

HADES: Er, I don't know…I sorta decided that when I woke up this morning.

COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU

ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK NOW AVAILABLE ON ITUNES, AMAZON AND TARGET