Fault

By Flying Star

Disclaimer: I don't own France, so I don't own Code Lyoko. In other words, no.

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This is a short one-shot reflection fic. After Odd was divirtualized by XANA in " The Enemy Within", we really didn't get to see what he did and thought while he was in the scanner room. This answers that question, though Odd does seem somewhat OOC, he isn't. He's feeling the pressure. It's best to read, "The Enemy Within" before reading this, or else it'll be rather confusing.

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' This can't be happening...This CANNOT be happening!' I thought angrily as awareness flooded through my being, my return trip from Lyoko complete.

The doors to my pod slid open, the rapidly expanding column of light temporarily blinding me as I collapsed to the ground. My breath came in harsh gasps as I stared at the floor.

" Uh...idiot!" Anger overwhelmed me as my fist struck the hard concrete, the pain doing nothing to take away the bitter emotions rising in me.

" Easy, you'll be okay."

I looked up into Ulrich's worried face, feeling my own face twist in rage and guilt as I yelled. " No! I won't, I won't be! You don't understand, I screwed up!" Refusing his offered hand, I pushed myself up, watching him recoil as if struck. I don't blame him, this isn't like me.

I can't be bitter, I can't be angry. I'm Odd, the comic relief, the carefree guy who breezes through life without thinking about the dangers present. I'm supposed to lighten the mood.

But how can I? This wasn't supposed to happen. Normally XANA attacks, we enter Lyoko and kick some monster butt while getting Aelita to the tower. Then after a quick 'return to the past', everything returns to normal, with our world being none the wiser.

But this time was different. XANA learned from his mistakes, he took control of our go-to guy, Jeremie, and used him against us. Disarming my weapons and toying with us, revealing his plans for our destruction before casually defeating us.

Vaguely I heard Ulrich ask if I was coming. I guess he wanted me to come to the main room. But I couldn't face Yumi, she was injured by XANA first, while I didn't have a scratch on me.

I sat down on a crate, and muttered some lame excuse about checking the room for anymore sabotage. I guess it worked because Ulrich boarded the elevator without a second glance.

So now it was just me. I stared down at my hands, no longer concealed by the virtual clawed gloves of my Lyoko avatar, as they clenched into fists.

It's my fault, I let her down. I let everyone down. My teeth ground together as my glare landed on the circle of scanners. My scanner was of course open, mocking me, telling me that without life points I couldn't return to help.

And it's my fault. With Yumi incapacitated and Ulrich devirtualized, I was the last line of defense, the final barrier between XANA and Aelita, and I failed. I left her alone, with a monster considered both friend and enemy.

I stood up, unable to sit still, my mind racing. 'God, Jeremie's going to kill me for abandoning Aelita.......that is, if he wasn't already killing her himself.' I winced, feeling even worse as I walked to the middle of the scanner circle.

I'm not saying that Aelita isn't resourceful, that she can't take care of herself. But this isn't one of XANA's minions that she's facing, it's XANA himself. A being of pure evil that wouldn't hesitate to kill her...and was probably doing so right now. I bit back an angry cry of frustration as I looked at the scanners.

Two were plugged, but the third wasn't, though it's doors were closed. I had one guess as to who occupied the closed scanner, it had to be how he took Jeremie into Lyoko. Running my hand along the polished metal, and then to my chest, I winced.

I could still feel it, the deep throbbing pain from XANA's tendrils burning in my chest. I knew it couldn't be possible, we can't get 'injured' in Lyoko, and the 'wounds' don't follow us back to the real world. But somehow it was there, a feeling, a reminder of my failure.

All at once, a fresh surge of anger rolled over me as I slammed my hand against the sealed cylander.

"XANA." The name dripped from my lips like poison. He was one step ahead of us, throwing us in different directions as he set his plans into motion. Gloating over his victory as he felled us all in one swoop. Distantly I wondered how long we had left, before the world would erupt in firey destruction. The clock still had to be counting down the minutes toward our ultimate demise.

The though only seemed to fuel my rage as I started banging my fists against the scanner, willing it to open, wanting to rip the creature out and....and what? Even if I did manage to open the scanner, I'd only succeed in killing Jeremie. Like I need any more blood, digital or otherwise, on my hands.

My hands lowered as I stared at my reflection on the gray shiny surface. I really didn't look like myself, my eyes held a wild look that reminded me of Kiwi when a sudden noise scared him, and sweat poured down my face, as I continued to breath heavily.

And then there was the blood, faint though it was, it streaked across the metal doors, painting scarlet streaks across my image. My eyes traveled to the source of the crimson droplets, the knuckles of my hands throbbed as the red liquid slowly fell from the small cuts that crisscrossed my bare flesh. A result of my pounding the scanner too much.

" Odd, I think you should come up here." Yumi's voice crackled over the intercom.

I turned away from the scanner, my face blank, my mind going back to the matter at hand. Time to pull on my mask, for I'm Odd, I'm happy, I'm carefree, I can't be angry. I used a discarded piece of paper to wipe the liquid away from my hands. Can't let the others see this.

I walked to the elevator, stepping inside as the doors closed behind me. I sighed, taking a deep breath to calm my nerves as the elevator neared it's destination.

It's my fault. I'm guilty of failing my friends, of failing everyone.

But if we somehow survive this, they will never know.

For I'm Odd, I can't be anything but what they expect.

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A serious Odd, now that's a strange thought. But it made sense, sometimes when you're all alone, you can drop your disguise. The veil that covers you, what your friends think of you, expect of you. Ulrich saw a hint of it, but didn't press since Yumi needed his help. Again, this will be very confusing to read unless you read " The Enemy Within", though it is still possible to read it and get the gyst of it. And of course, people who did read it know what happens. As usual, if you read, please review. I like people's thoughts.