A/N: Hello everyone! My current multi-chapter story is going to be very dark and angst ridden so to counter this, I thought I'd write a little funny one shot. Enjoy!
Rose Gardens for Star Apples
"Mama! Play with us, Mama!"
"Yeah, yeah, play with us!"
Star Pomme and Rose Lillyfruit Harkinian were running through the main hall of Princess Peach's castle in the Mushroom Kingdom, grabbing a hold of their mother's skirts a tugging her in every which way. Star and Rose were the two twin daughters of Princess Peach.
"Calm yourselves, my little angels. Mama can't keep up with you two!" Princess Peach said to her children.
She snuck quietly out of the main hall into the sitting room next door. With an undignified flop, she sat on the couch next to her husband.
"I see you've hid away from our bundles of joy." He said humorously to Peach.
"Bundles of energy, more like. I love our little dears so much but they are wearing me out!" Peach replied with an exasperated tone.
It had been only 3 years since they were born, and it seemed as if as soon as they touched the ground, they'd been running. Smart little girls started walking only a week and a half after they'd been brought home. Even though they exhausted Peach, she loved them more than anything in the world. Her two precious angels, they were.
Star Pomme and Rose Lillyfruit were twins, but in no way identical. Star took after her mother, light skin, bright, wide blue eyes, a rounded little nose, and yellow blonde hair. She carried herself more like a lady than her sister Rose, and loved girly things and dressing up. Rose on the other hand was a female version of her father. Her eyes were a dark blue; she had pointed ears and a pointed nose, tan skin, and dark blond hair. She could brandish a sword better than men ten times her age, and was all about adventures. Though they were so different, Rose and Star were the best of friends, never leaving a room without the other.
"And to think we'd have never had them if it wasn't for that tournament" Peach's husband replied nostalgically
"Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Smash Mansion was such a crazy place" Peach thought aloud, "I can remember it like it was just yesterday…"
"Bowser, you crazy bastard, if you don't give me my bow, I'll find a beam sword to jam up your shell!" Pit yelled across the living room.
"Make me fairy-boy! Why don't you tell your precious fairy queen to–"
Just then a high pitch scream that rivaled Nana's filled the mansion. Bowser had just got a beam sword rammed up is ass.
"Don't you ever talk about Lady Palutena like that again, you goddamn worthless shitty little turtle!" Pit screamed in Bowser's face with a murderous glint in his eye.
Peach was talking to Zelda and Samus at the moment when this occurred. They looked at each other, slightly frightened at the strength the angel possessed when he was angry.
"And I thought angels weren't supposed to curse…" Samus said slowly, still watching Pit beat the living hell out of Bowser.
"I almost feel bad for Bowser." Peach replied.
Zelda, Peach, and Samus had become a trio of best friends in Super Smash Brothers Brawl. They were the three women of the game and of course gravitated towards each other. Zelda and Peach were the objects of almost every guy's affection. Samus wasn't after she beat the shit out of Captain Falcon for touching her boob when she was in zero suit form. But that was okay, since she was with Snake. (She has a thing for explosives, if you know what I mean). The two princesses were very single and both had a man in mind to rectify that relationship status.
Samus had just left to go hang out with Snake when from the corner of her eye; Peach could see the green clad hero of her dreams. But oh no! He was coming straight for her and she didn't know what to do! Peach gave Zelda a frantic look as she mimed over to the man. Zelda shrugged and offered no help. She was so gonna get an earful later.
Peach turned around right as Link began to speak.
"Hey Peach, hey Zelda, how's it going?" Link greeted them.
"H-hi Link…I'm f-f-fine. Ho-how are y-you?" Peach stuttered helplessly.
"I'm pretty good. You're stuttering a lot. Are you cold?" Link asked as he cocked he head to the side.
"Uhhh yeah, t-that's it! I-I'm cold!" Peach said, eager to jump on any excuse she could find.
"Oh okay. Here's my Zora tunic. It kept me warm leagues under a lake, so I'm sure if you wear it, you'll feel much better."
Link handed her the blue elaborately embroidered tunic and waved goodbye after he was called by Ike. Peach waved dumbly back at him, holding the fabric gingerly in her hand. As soon as Link was out of earshot, Zelda and Peach turned to each other and screamed a high pitch girly scream that would startle even a Boo.
"Oh my goddesses he gave you his Zora tunic!" Zelda exclaimed.
"I know, I know, I know!! No thanks to you, by the way. Triforce of wisdom, my ass, you should have known I needed help!" Peach snapped back.
"Well obviously, you didn't because this worked perfectly! He loves that tunic. The Zoras of our world gave it to him and he cherishes it. He'd only give it to someone special!"
"Really? Maybe he does like me…"
"So how'd talking to Peach go, oh courageous one?" Ike asked playfully.
"Shut up pretty-boy before you find that two handed sword of yours where the sun don't shine." Link said back.
"Oh come on, tell me what happened."
"She stuttered a lot and looked at me like she was surprised I was there. Oh, and I gave her my Zora tunic."
"Gift-giving already? That must at least get you to third base."
"I'm not a man whore like you, assface. I really like Peach…"
"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever lover-boy. You and your feelings are so gay."
"Actually since my feelings are for a woman that makes them pretty heterosexual." Link quipped with a smile on his face.
"…whatever." Ike mumbled
Link and Ike were roommates at Smash Mansion along with Pit and Marth. They usually tried to keep people from the same worlds together, but after the first week with Ganondorf in Link's room during Melee, they decided to change it up.
Pit and Marth had just arrived back in the room. Marth looked like absolute shit after spending about half an hour prying the loose cannon of an angel off the screaming bloody pulp that was now Bowser. They had to get Cleffairy to come down to the living room with her eggs, two heart containers, a maxim tomato, and a team healer just so Bowser could walk again. It was a sad sight, but also really hilarious. Pit was now in a fabulous mood, skipping and humming wherever he went. Marth on the other hand, was not.
"That crazy… -huff- angel… -gasp- … just gave me the worst workout I've ever had" Marth gasped as he flopped on his bed.
"Maybe little Marthy-kins should spend more time in the gym, and less in the bathroom, preening his little feathers." laughed Link.
"Shut the fuck up!" Marth yelled into his pillow.
Peach, Zelda, and Samus were all getting ready for bed in their room. Peach opted to sleep in Link's tunic that night since she was obsessed with what he smelled like. Samus laughed at the situation from earlier that day described to her by Zelda and continued to make fun of Peach at every possible moment.
"What do you have planned for tomorrow, Peach?" Zelda asked from her bed.
"Maybe a double date. You, Ike, me and Link?" Peach pondered.
"Sounds like fun, how do plan on getting them to go?" Zelda asked curiously.
"I'll think of something…" Peach said unsure "You wanna come too Sam?"
The only response they got was snoring.
"Hahaha, good old Samus…"
Link and Ike woke up early the next morning to a faint knock on the door. Ike opened it and saw no one. He was about to close it when a bright pink note taped to the door caught his attention. He ripped it off the door and walked back inside, shutting the door with his foot.
"Who was that?" Link asked groggily
"Don't know. They left a note on our door though."
"Well what's it say?"
"It says, 'To Link and Ike: Meet us in the rose garden out side of the mansion at noon. We'll be waiting for you! XOXO, the DoubleCrowns'"
"Hmm," Link pondered "I wonder who they are…"
"I hope they're hot." Ike said bluntly.
"Shut up, you horny bastard."
Peach and Zelda fussed about their hair and dresses in their rooms around eleven o'clock. Peach had traded her usual pink and white ballroom gown for a pink and blue low cut knee length dress with white lace and a blue petticoat to fluff it out. Her gloves were pink and only went up to her wrists, and her crown was silver with blue and pink gems encrusted into it. The yellow blond hair she usually wore down was put into a high ponytail with her bangs framing her face.
Zelda had changed up her wardrobe as well, wearing a very short white dress with purple accents and her royal crest shortened and worn with a gold belt. The rest of her stayed the same since she was so used to her headdress and gloves.
"Well jeez, Zelda do you want him to like you, or your panties?" Peach asked playfully.
"This dress isn't that short, Peachy. Plus guys need to see as much as you can show them since their minds aren't too sharp" Zelda said with a wink.
"Whoa, its 11:55, we're going to be late!
"Oh no! Let's go!"
Zelda and Peach ran out of their room as fast as their heeled feet could carry them towards the rose garden. The tables and food had already been set up by Toadsworth and his friends, but they wanted to arrive before the boys. Sadly, they were late and Link and Ike were standing by the two tables a bit confused.
"Oh shit, Peach, what are we going to do?!" Zelda whispered to Peach from behind a bush.
"Follow my lead!" Peach replied.
Peach pulled a blue parasol with pink lace out of whatever mysterious place she usually gets it from and handed a purple one Zelda. She covered her face with the parasol and bid Zelda to do the same. They both sauntered towards the boys to gauge they're reaction. Ike was visibly excited for whatever was going on as soon as he saw short dresses and legs. Link on the other hand was kind of sad looking. As if he expected something else…something in a pink dress.
Peach and Zelda stood in front of Link and Ike respectively and slowly lowered their parasols. Link looked at Peach's face and immediately started to smile. She stood on her tip toes and placed a chaste kiss on Link's cheek.
"I really like you, Link" she whispered
Link let a huge smile out and picked Peach up bridal style and spun her around. It was the perfect fluffy moment of fluff and happiness. They laughed and kissed and then laid down in the garden in the grass holding hands.
Now to Ike and Zelda…
Zelda slowly moved her parasol down and looked Ike square in the eyes. She turned to the side and whispered in his ear.
"Wanna have sex?"
Ike picked Zelda up, slung her over his shoulder in a position that clearly bared her nether regions to the world, and they disappeared behind a row of rosebushes making all sorts of noises that were clearly sexual in nature.
Link and Peach laughed at their friends' antics and proceeded to become hypocrites.
Five months later, a rather round Peach waddled down the aisle of the Temple of Time in Hyrule. People from her world and Link's were gathered together to celebrate the glorious wedding of Link Harkinian to Princess Peach Toadstool. It was a magical occasion that seemed blessed by Nayru herself because of its magnificence. Everyone was having a wonderful time at the ceremony and reception, besides a particularly surly koopa king.
"My wedding with her in Super Paper Mario was so much better than this shit…." Bowser grumbled quietly.
A sharp stab was delivered to his dragon balls by what seemed to be nothing. Little did he know it was Farore's power that did it.
-That'll teach him not to insult my blessed chosen child and his bride. Little spiky bastard.-
"All this happened only 4 years ago, Link." Link said to his wife.
"I know. It seems like we've been together forever." Peach replied
"We will be, I promise." Link whispered.
They leaned in for a kiss. As soon as they're lips touched, they both felt extra weight on their laps.
"Ewww! Mama and Daddy are kissing!" Rose yelled making a disgusted face.
"I think it's romantic!" Star said dreamily.
"Nuh uh! Wait… Mama, what's romentack mean?"
Link and Peach looked at each other and smiled.
"Don't worry about it Rose, my dear." Peach said tapping her nose.
Peach turned to Link and said, "Together forever, with our little bundles of joy."
-Fin-
A/N: Did anyone like that little bunch of fluff and laughs? I hope so. The names for Peach and Link's kids came from how Peach and Daisy are named after fruit and flowers. Pomme means apple in French, so the first girl's name is Star Apple, which is a real fruit and the second one is Rose Lillyfruit which is pretty obvious. This story is just a spot of fluff for the world. Reviews would be nice and appreciated. Thanks! Peace and love, Octo.