A/N-This story is dedicated to Pantlesshero, I hope this is what you were looking for, and thank you so much for all of the inspiration you have given me! 3
To an outsider looking in, it would be easy to believe that Kurt Hummel really did have it all; after breaking into the world of fashion as a model at the tender age of sixteen, he'd spent twelve years representing the biggest names in the business on catwalks all over the world. He'd managed to do what some considered the impossible by keeping up his career and his grades, graduating from college and launching his own line of clothing at the age of twenty-four, doing what so many before him had dreamed of by not only putting together the show that launched his line but also walking in it. When the announcement was made that Kurt would retire from fulltime modeling at the age of twenty-eight, rumors had run rampant. People in the industry heard that he was finally settling down with that hot little piece of arm candy he'd been parading around for years, and others heard how designers and agencies alike had begged and pleaded for him to reconsider.
It quickly became apparent that the first rumor was false at least; when just a month after the announcement of his retirement came he stepped out for the first time in nearly ten years without Jesse St. James on his arm. He'd said very little to the press when questioned, only stating that the pressures in both his career and personal life had become too much and that after focusing on what everyone else wanted for such a long time, he thought it was time to focus on himself. In the weeks and months that followed it seemed that he was doing just that, there were very few public appearances and even the late-night club hopping that was expected of a young, successful, and single male never came. It looked as though the young star was once again doing the impossible, slipping seamlessly back into a semi-normal life without so much as a hitch.
Kurt groaned as he rolled out of bed, hitting the off button on his alarm and silencing the annoying rhythm it was beeping out, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and running a hand through his hair as he started his morning routine. It was the same every day; coffee, gym for two hours, shower, morning moisturizing, meeting with his stylist, meeting with his manager, and then he was off to his clothing lines offices. It felt like he spent just a few extra minutes at the office every day and he absently wondered how long it would be until he just moved in and gave up on the façade that he actually had a social life or actually slept for more than a couple of hours a night. Things had been like this for years though and he was grateful for that, because the idea of the alternative, the idea of living in Ohio and working a dead end job like the rest of his friends and family still gave him nightmares occasionally.
He had just finished his moisturizing and was picking through his expansive wardrobe with his stylist, wrapped up tight in a fluffy white robe when he remembered that today in fact wasn't just like every other day. Today there would be no meeting with his manager, because Kurt Hummel no longer had one; retiring from modeling meant that there was nothing for Jamie, the lady who had discovered him all those years ago, to manage. He floundered momentarily, unsure of what to do with the one hour gap that now existed in his daily routine, fixing his stylist with his patented glare when the girl suggested he get lunch then. He'd never stopped for lunch before and he sure as hell wasn't going to start now, no, not when the press was digging for things to report about him. It would be just his luck that he'd be spotted and tomorrow morning it'd be all over the internet that he was well on his way to entering the ranks of Tyra and super-sizing in his retirement. He'd just go into the office an hour early, there was always so much to be done and maybe, just maybe, the extra hour earlier in the day would give him the incentive to leave an hour early in the evening.
It didn't though, and he quickly formed a new routine in the weeks that followed and couldn't help but be disappointed when he realized the pressure he'd been trying to escape, the pressure that had lead to him leaving modeling and his boyfriend, had only seemed to increase. With his fashion line being his main point of success now, Kurt felt compelled to put just as much of the energy that he'd put into his modeling into his designs; the dreams he'd had of day's off at the spa and nights on the town with the many men who had shown interest quickly faded. The day's and week's ran together until Kurt found himself wondering if the apple and coffee he'd had was at breakfast that morning or the morning before and looking at his clock, unable to tell if it was seven am or seven pm. He still went to the gym everyday though, he made sure of that, there was no way that Kurt Hummel was going to become a fat ass, so when his employees began to file out for lunch each day, he'd follow them out and head to the gym and then home for a quick shower.
He brushed off those who told him that he was working too hard, if he didn't then who would and how would his line stay on top? He ignored the exhaustion when it began to set it, claiming each day that he would leave earlier tomorrow, he'd get a few more hours sleep and be fine but that never happened. He smiled to himself the first time he found that his jeans were just a little too big but found himself promising his stylist that he'd remember to eat dinner from now on when most of his new wardrobe was found to be ill fitting. Kurt knew that things were getting out of control when he started having dizzy spells and each time he found himself clutching at the edges of his desk, waiting for his vision to clear, he told himself that this was the last time, that he'd get help. It had nearly been a year since his retirement when everything finally crashed down around him; he couldn't remember the last time he slept or the last time he'd eaten for that matter but he knew it was lunchtime from the way that everyone was hurrying towards the door. He honestly doesn't remember standing up from behind his desk and he most certainly doesn't remember hitting the floor, he only remembers bits and pieces of the ride to the hospital but he knows that he won't ever be able to forget when he woke up to the most amazing pair of honey-brown eye's he's ever seen.