Disclaimer: no own sonic and co. and no own Yuji Naka and Sonic Team. (and no own McDonalds)

OMFGGGG! Rewritten :D

Sonic and Knuckles ran into the empty lab. The ground was shaking uncontrollably.

"What's that...that vibration?" Knuckles shouted.

"Hey, wait... somebody's coming!" Sonic shouted.

Just then Rouge dropped down from the ceiling and faced the boys with a miserable look.

"You...? You haven't given up yet?" Knuckles demanded.

"It's all over for us..." Rouge said, ignoring Knuckles.

"What do you mean?" Knuckles asked.

"I just received a message from my boss..." Rouge said, "The Space Colony ARK is currently approaching Earth at an incredible velocity. It, probably... will impact Earth..."

Knuckles stared at her for a moment, "OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" he screamed.

Then Professor Gerald flashed across the nearby computer screen. Knuckles turned to see, "What's that on the screen?" he asked through his hysterical sobs.

'This is a death sentence for every human being on Earth. If my calculations are correct, the Space Colony ARK will impact the Earth in twenty-seven minutes, twenty-three seconds. All of you will be destroyed, along with your beloved planet Earth.' The professor said.

'I plan to give you a taste of my revenge, once all the seven Chaos Emeralds are coll-'

"Blah blah blah, what else is on?" Sonic asked holding a TV remote.

Rouge snatched the clicker from him and changed it back. '-it cannot be disabled. All of you ungrateful humans, who took everything away from me... will feel my loss, and despair!'

Amy rushed into the room, "What's going on here? Who is that?" she demanded.

"Professor Gerald Robotnik!" Everyone turned to see Eggman standing in the door, "One of the greatest scientific minds in the world, and my grandfather!"

"What?" Knuckles shouted, "I knew you were behind all this! Stop it right now, or else-"

"What? You'll cry?" Eggman teased.

"Leave him alone. It's not his fault he has a weak constitution." Sonic argued.

"Well, I'd have done this a long time ago if I had the chance anyway." Eggman said.

"What do you mean?" Sonic asked.

Eggman paused and stared at Sonic, "How are you still alive? We saw that capsule blow up you damn hedgehog!"

"Hey, loose the language, this game is rated E!" Sonic shouted.

"Well, whatever. Here take this." Eggman said handing Rouge a data disk.

"What's this?" Rouge asked examining it.

"This is my grandfather's diary." Eggman said.

"Whatever happened to just a simple book?" Amy wondered, "Everything is computerized nowadays."

Rouge ignored her and put the disk into a console and the contents were displayed across the screen.

Rouge began to read it to herself.

"Hello! We wanna hear it too!" Sonic shouted.

"Oh stop whining. It basically just says he's upset because he wanted the Ultimate Life Form to benefit mankind but the military came and wanted to destroy it… blah blah blah… colony shut down, Maria killed, fake accident, went crazy… made program on Earth so that when Shadow was released he activate it and take revenge on Earth. Oh, so that's why you released Shadow!" Rouge said.

"Why didn't you read it aloud? It was really cool!" Eggman pouted.

"Well since we have to save the Earth now there really isn't that much time." Rouge argued.

"Alright fine, the core of the Eclipse Cannon is now highly reactive and explosive." Eggman explained, "This is because of the energy of the Chaos Emeralds is overpowering it. If the colony collides with Earth, it will shatter into pieces like my grandfather predicted! That mad scientist!" Eggman added this last sentence with a laugh.

"That should be you, right?" Amy said angrily.

"We have to stop the Space Colony now!" Tails shouted.

Sonic stared at the kitsune, "When the hell did you get here?" he asked.

"E rated!" Tails reminded him.

"The Space Colony ARK's position may have shifted due to the amount of energy given off by the Emeralds. We have to stop the energy!" Eggman reasoned.

"But... how?" Tails wondered.

"Hmm, that's it. There is a way to stop the energy!" Rouge said excitedly. She turned to Knuckles who was now hugging the Master emerald and whimpering. She stared for a moment then took the Emerald, "We have to use this Emerald!" she shouted.

"NO GIVE BACK MY PRECIOUS!" Knuckles cried. Then he fell to the ground and started shaking.

"Oh Jesus, lets just get this over with." Everyone, minus Knuckles and Amy ran off to help.

"Ooh, I hate it when they leave me behind!" Amy shouted.

Then Shadow came in and saw Amy and Knuckles. He stared at Knuckles who was crying for his mommy.

"Look! It's Shadow!" Amy shouted pointing at him.

Shadow stared at her, "Who are you talking to? The Echidna who's having a seizure or me?" he asked.

Amy ignored him, "I've really gotta stop whining. Everyone's trying there best to help out, and so must I!" She ran up to Shadow, "Shadow, we need you! Please help us!" she shouted.

Shadow stared at her for a moment trying to reason why she was acting so strange, then he decided to ignore it and read his lines, "It's all going according to plan. There's no reason for me to help them. Besides, there's no way to save anyone." He said turning away from her and walking up to the window.

"There has to be! I know that people fight over the most trivial things. Some people may be selfish, like the professor said... but they're basically good, if they try their best and never give up on their wishes. They always have a reason to be happy, that's why you should help them out! Saving them is a good thing! Shadow, I beg you, please do it for them! Give them a chance!" Amy cried.

Shadow stared at her for a moment, "That's pathetic." he said, "Honestly, who writes this stuff anyway?"

"You're supposed to go into a flashback." Amy mumbled.

"Ugh… forget it. I'll help them if you just shutup!" he screamed. Then he ran out of the room to find Sonic and the others.

Amy glared after him, "I HOPE YOU FALL OFF THE SPACE COLONY!" she shouted after him.

Sonic was running up to the Core with Rouge seeing as Knuckles was still convulsing on the floor of the lab.

"What's that? It looks just like the shrine of the Master Emerald!" Rouge said.

"How do you know?" Sonic asked.

"If I stole the emerald I've obviously seen the shrine." Rouge said.

"Yeah, why didn't they show that in the beginning of the game?" Sonic wondered, he paused then snapped back to reality, "Either way, they probably designed the core like the shrine to harness the power of the Chaos Emeralds."

The two started running towards the shrine when suddenly Professor Gerald's booming voice rang out from nowhere: 'All of you ungrateful humans, who took everything away from me, will feel my loss and despair!'

"Watch out, here it comes!" Sonic shouted.

"How do you know something is coming to attack us?" Rouge asked.

"Oh shutup and just watch out!" Sonic shouted.

Suddenly the Biolizard warped into the center of the room and roared ferociously.

"Good thing Knuckles isn't here, he'd have shit himself." Sonic said.

"E RATED!" Rouge shouted, "This must be the prototype of the Ultimate Life Form that was supposed to be encapsulated!"

"Leave this one to me."

The two looked behind them to see Shadow standing walking up to them.

"Shadow, what're you doing?" Sonic asked.

Shadow ignored him and approached the BioLizard, then he looked back, "I'll take care of this, while you run to get the Chaos Emeralds!"

"Look out!" Rouge shouted.

While Shadow wasn't looking the lizard swiped at him with his tail.

Shadow growled, "That was a cheap shot!" he screamed, and then he jumped on top of the lizard and started kicking the life support machine, "TERIAAAAA!"

Sonic and Rouge ran up to the shrine and climbed up the stairs. When they reached the top they found a place in the center for the Emerald and Rouge placed it there and waited for a minute. "Now what?" she asked.

"I think you're supposed to say something." Sonic said.

"Uh… Stop the Chaos Emeralds!"

The Emerald began to glow and spin rapidly. "Hey it worked!" Rouge cried truimphantly.

Behind them the Biolizard roared one last time while thrashing around desperately and then it disappeared in a flash.

"Is it gone?" Rouge asked.

Shadow jumped onto the platform with Sonic and Rouge, "Is that what... Chaos Control is?" he wondered.

"What kind of stupid question is that? You're the one who knows about Chaos Control." Sonic said.

"Hey, Chaos Control! That's an oxymoron!" Shadow said with a silly smile.

The vibrations continued, even worse than ever.

"Since we stopped the Chaos Emeralds, why is the Space Colony still on a crash course to Earth?" Rouge asked.

Then Eggman's voice boomed over the speakers: "The Prototype is still alive! He's controlling the Space Colony as it is falling to Earth! He has become one with the Space Colony, and is determined to keep it on its collision course!"

"Oh great." Shadow mumbled, "How many times am I gonna have to kill this thing before it actually dies?"

"Just once more." Sonic said cheerfully.

"How do you know? Maybe in some sort of fucked up sequel they'll ressurect it and we'll have to fight the damned thing all over again!" Shadow snapped.

"E RA- oh fuck this! Let's just go kill that bastard!" Sonic said gathering up the chaos emeralds.

"Can I be gold instead? Silver and red look really stupid. Especially on a hedgehog." Shadow pouted.

"You'll be whatever color your animators decide you'll be." Sonic said.

"NO FAIR!" Shadow pouted. After four minutes of arguing…

Shadow and Sonic finally managed to change into their super forms, "This sucks…" Shadow mumbled.

"Don't start that again!" Sonic threatened.

"GET GOING! YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MINUTE LEFT!" Rouge screamed at the two bickering hedgehogs.

Shadow and Sonic chaos controlled to outside the colony where the BioLizard was dragging the colony towards Earth.

Sonic sped towards the lizard to kill it but realized Shadow wasn't following him. He looked back and saw Shadow was laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Sonic asked.

"The Lizard's getting ass-raped by the colony!" Shadow shouted.

Sonic looked again and then started laughing too. "What are you doing? The ARK is going to crash into the Earth!" Rouge shouted frantically over the radio.

"Rouge! Look out the window! The lizard's getting raped!" Sonic said between his gasps for air.

"Hey!"

Sonic and Shadow stopped laughing and looked at the Biolizard who was glaring at them, "You can talk?" Sonic asked.

"Yes, I can talk!" it said in a raspy voice, "And I don't appreciate you making fun of me because the eclipse cannon is sticking up my ass."

"Hey, what if that thing goes off?" Shadow asked. The two hedgehogs started laughing once again.

The Biolizard roared angrily, "You won't be laughing once I destroy your precious planet!"

"Sonic, Shadow! Aim for the red swelling area to damage him!" Eggman's voice shouted over the radio, "There's only 30 seconds before impact!"

Shadow started laughing again, "Not only is it getting ass-raped it's got a hernia too!" he shouted.

"Oh forget this! I didn't get involved in this game to be made fun of." The lizard said angrily, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY AGENT?" There was a green flash and the Biolizard was gone and ARK back in place.

Sonic wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. Then randomly Shadow said, "Sonic! I figured out what the ultimate life form is… it might be you!"

Sonic looked back at Shadow who was trying to slit his wrists with a comb.

"WHAT?" he demanded.

"AAAAAAGH! THE SCRIPT! IT BURRRRNS!" Shadow screamed. Then he fainted and plummeted towards earth. Sonic tried to grab his wrist to save him but only managed to grab the ring around his glove which came off.

Sonic paused staring at the ring in his hands, "Poor bastard. The writers always had the advantage…" he mumbled sadly. Then he flew back to the colony where everyone was waiting for him.

Back in the lab...

Sonic came in and faced everyone.

"Where is Shadow?" Rouge asked.

Sonic hesitated, and instead of making Shadow seem like an idiot for his stupid lines just shook his head sadly.

There was a pause and then Sonic handed Rouge the ring that had been around Shadow's wrist.

"Do you really think... that the professor created Shadow to carry out the revenge on all those who live there, on Earth?" Rouge asked.

"Well… yeah. Didn't you read the diary that proved it?"

Rouge stepped on Sonic's foot.

"OW! I mean… He was what he was. A brave and heroic hedgehog, who gave his life to save his planet. Shadow the Hedgehog..."

"I guess you're right..."

Eggman and Tails were staring out through the glass at the earth.

"As a child, I looked up to my grandfather because of all the great things he accomplished in his life. He was my hero, and I wanted to be a great scientist like him. But... did he really mean to destroy us?" Eggman wondered.

"I don't know. But what I do know is; we all did it together!" Tails cried joyfully.

Just then several audience members picked up Tails and threw him out the airlock for his idiotic lines where he exploded into a million bloody pieces. The fans cheered!

Knuckles was still convulsing on the ground.

"Knuckles get up! We're supposed to have a scene!" Rouge shouted kicking him.

Knuckles sat up, "Like a love scene?" he asked eagerly.

"No!" Rouge shouted, "Forget it! I'm outta here!"

Rouge stormed out of the room mumbling about stupid scripts.

Everyone shrugged and followed her. Sonic went last. At the doorway he paused and looked back, "Hey wait! Where are the chaos emeralds?" he shouted.

Meanwhile in Japan…

Yuji Naka and the Sonic Team sat in their conference room, "Good job guys. Sonic Adventure 2: Battle was a hit!" Naka said happily.

"Too bad we used up all our creative ideas. Now Sonic Heroes is going to suck." a writer said.

"Well, as long as people buy it we get the money, right?"

Then the door opened and everyone looked to see Shadow standing there in his super form and glaring at them angrily, "Oh Shadow. We were just talking about SA2B. I hope you're not too mad about some of the lines…" Naka said.

"HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME SAY SONIC IS THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM!"

Down the hall the secretary heard the door slam and multiple screams of pain. She stood up to go see what the commotion was about but then an alarm clock on her desk went off, "Lunch break." she said happily and skipped off to McDonald's.

Fin