1. Spit it into her voicemail, a little slurred and sounding like the shot whiskey you downed for courage. Feel as ashamed as you do walking into work in last night's clothes. Wake up cringing for days, waiting for her to mention it.

"Maybe you should head home for the night, get some sleep," Art says. "We can pick up here in the morning."

Beth shakes her head furiously and takes another sip of coffee. "No, no, no, I just need ten more minutes," she says. "I know I can figure this out!"

"Beth, you said that two hours ago."

"So?"

Art takes the coffee mug from her hands and closes the case file. "Go home."

"But—" He glares and she closes her mouth, knowing better than to argue with him when he gets that look. "Fine," Beth agree bitterly. "But don't have any revelations without me!" She grabs her coat and gives Art a glare before leaving.

"I'll do my best not to!" Art calls after her as she walks out of the station.

Beth groans and fumbles with your car keys. It takes her three tries before she finally gets the door unlocked. She wasn't going to admit it but maybe she does need some sleep. This case was a bitch and she hadn't talked to Alison in over a week. She did say she was going to be busy, but Beth still missed talking to her. She hadn't even seen her since last month when she passed out in her basement after more than a few drinks. But Beth misses her and the way she feels when Alison's arms are wrapped around her, and her comforting whispers in your ear, and the way she smiles.

But Alison has been busy at home, and Beth has been overwhelmed working on this damn case and hasn't had time to think.

Beth struggles to keep her eyes open; now that she's not working, her lack of sleep creeps up on her. When was the last time I slept?, she thinks. She couldn't even remember. It's been at least two days.

When she pulls up at home a few minutes later, Paul is gone. She has no idea where he goes anymore so she had stopped questioning it a while ago. Beth pulls her pink phone out of her purse, checking for messages. Update from Cosima. Katja booked a flight for the end of next month. Nothing from Alison in two days. Even if she didn't call, she would usually send a message just to check in. Beth frowns. She quickly types out a message:

"Hey, haven't heard from you in a few days. Hope everything's ok. –B"

She knows Alison is probably fine, but she can't help but worry. Beth pours herself a drink.

Alison has been the only good thing to come out of this whole clone situation. When she gets too stressed, too overwhelmed, she just thinks of Alison. She thinks of the sound of her voice and the smell of her hair. Beth knows the way she feels about her is wrong, so wrong, they're clones for god's sake!

But that doesn't stop her from feeling anything. She pours herself another drink.

Not only are they fucking clones but Beth has a boyfriend and Alison has a husband so she shouldn't want to kiss her but she does want to, every single time Alison smiles.

Beth checks her phone. No new messages. She finishes the rest of her drink and dials Alison's number on the pink phone.

"Hey Ali, it's me. Um… fuck, I just... I haven't heard from you in a while. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Beth hesitates. She doesn't know how long she says nothing without hanging up, but eventually, a few words slip from her mouth. "I love you, Alison." She clicks her phone to end the call. "Fuck."

Beth blames it on the alcohol, but pours herself another drink anyway.

And another.

And another.

And then she wakes up on the couch with a splitting headache and no recollection of anything that happened after the third drink.

She checks her pink phone to find that apparently she called Alison two more times. "Shit," Beth mutters. And then she notices the time to find that she's going to be late to work so she brushes her teeth, sprays some febreeze on herself, pops a few pills in her mouth, and heads to work in the same clothes she wore yesterday.

Art obviously notices the moment she walks through the door. "Damn, Beth. Too tired to change?"

Beth nods. "Got home and passed out on the couch," she lies easily. "I guess I did need some sleep."

Art looks away momentarily so Beth takes the chance to check her pink phone for messages. Nothing. She tries to work, but there's a lingering panic in the back of her head all day.

When Beth gets in her car after work, her phone rings. She almost has a heart attack before looking at the caller ID and not seeing Alison's number on the screen. In fact, it's a phone number she doesn't even recognize. Beth hesitates, wondering whether or not she should answer. She gives in to curiosity alone.

"Hello?"

"Beth! Thank god you answered!"

"Alison? Are you okay?" Beth is surprised, worried, concerned and doesn't know which emotion to start with.

"I'm fine," Alison reassures. "It's just that Oscar accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet."

Beth laughs, surprised. "Well that explains the new number. How the hell did that even happen?!"

Alison sighs and Beth smiles because she's missed that sound. "I don't even know. He was going through my purse and liked the pink case?"

"I told you pink was a bad idea," Beth jokes. And then she remembers. Last night, the alcohol, the voicemails. "Um, Alison…did you get my message?" she asks hesitantly.

"No," she answers. "All the messages were destroyed along with the phone. Why, was it something important?"

Beth opens her mouth, and pauses to think. "Nope. Just checking in, I hadn't heard from you in a while."

She can hear the smile in Alison's voice as she speaks. "Well that was very sweet of you. I miss you, Beth."

"Miss you too, Ali."