An idea that came to me in my disgruntled state about how Rachel never has anyone standing up for her (frenemies episode) - it was meant to be a one-off story but as ever, the plot didn't head the way I intended. So, before it takes over my every waking minute in a bid to finish it, some feedback would be appreciated. Unbetaed
Quinn allowed herself a moment to gather her thoughts and to think carefully about what she needed to say. Although recriminations and blame (fairly and squarely apportioned where it was undoubtedly richly deserved) would help vent her internal rage, it wouldn't miraculously help them locate the exact whereabouts and well being of Rachel. Quinn needed to put aside her ire at how long the self-absorbed pair here had waited until calling her. She knew the weekend that she'd set aside for devising a life-affirming moving-forward plan was off the cards the moment she had taken Kurt's call. He had pleaded with her to come to New York and help them find Rachel; his voice growing more panicked and his arguments more garbled while in the background Santana snarled insults that only served to make him yet more incoherent. Quinn had been the calm, mildly amused voice of reason (even as her heart raced). Once she was aware that Rachel's phone was continually unobtainable and - this was what really sounded the alarm bells - had been for three days (Three whole days!) then her voice became clipped and her questions terse and focussed. Kurt's evasive answers to her questions would have been enough to have her heading to New York anyway if she hadn't already been on her way because of her long hidden feelings.
Quinn made a mad-no-expenses-spared dash to the big apple and, as the train hurtled towards its destination, she gazed blankly out of the window. Her emotions cycled through various degrees of rage, hope and despair.
Rage – at Kurt and Santana for being their usual insensitive selves and not realising the gravity of the situation sooner, at Finn for dying just when Rachel had shown signs of moving on (only to be pulled right back by the frozen-in-time 'perfect potential' bestowed on those who died young) and herself for – well, being her. It never occurred to her to direct her rage towards Rachel.
Hope – the optimistic hope that whatever happened in New York was all a big misunderstanding….but three days? The huge hope that whatever the circumstances that Rachel was okay – she refrained from praying to God for Rachel's safety because prayer had hardly proved a particularly successful strategy for Quinn previously. She held on to the smallest slither of hope that Rachel was possibly on her way to see her to express a very Berry-like outrage at how she'd been so poorly mistreated by their so-called friends…it was a forlorn and ridiculously unlikely hope, Rachel never made the first move to initiate contact between them since high school graduation.
Finally Quinn had experienced lengthy bouts of various shades of despair – ranging from: Rachel would finally cut them all off as friends as she should have done years ago (mild just desserts despair), through she'd-never-have-the-chance-to-tell Rachel-how-she-really-felt (medium I'll never smile again despair) to the total desolation of no-one would ever see or hear about Rachel ever again (extreme life isn't worth living despair) that she instantly became tearful about.
Fortunately it didn't occur to Kurt or Santana to meet her at the train station so she'd had time to pull herself together in the cab journey to their apartment. Kurt's relief at her arrival was balanced out by Santana's surly "don't know why you're here" attitude. Quinn wondered whether Santana's tetchiness might be linked to her not being quite as chilled about their ill-advised one-night stand as Santana had implied. Her bid to quell her craving for an unobtainable loud assertive (yet vulnerable) brunette by settling for an available one had only succeeded in making Quinn hate herself more. Maybe she hadn't been the only casualty of her foolishly optimistic impulses. The thought had barely formed in Quinn's head before Kurt and Santana were busy sniping at each other and a picture of events less edifying than she'd initially been led to believe emerged. It was (as she had suspected) so much more complicated than a series of Rachel-being-Rachel dramatic exits and an attention seeking choice to move out of the apartment. A Fabray hard stare, an arched eyebrow and the threat of ringing Rachel's dads to report her missing later and finally – finally - Kurt and Santana were persuaded to relate their slightly less edited version of events of the past two weeks. Quinn kept her expression blank even as inside she could feel her temper rising.
The latest version of Rachel's disappearance now included a more coherent narrative with a possible, if highly unlikely, trigger for Rachel's behaviour ….namely her and Santana's irreconcilable artistic differences over a Broadway role that Santana had managed to snaffle just by 'turning up on the off chance and sheer talent'. Kurt's uncomfortable squirming and hand wringing was an obvious clue that the whole truth still wasn't yet being voiced but Quinn let it go for the moment. Apparently Rachel's irrational jealousy and 'she-goes-or I-do' ultimatum had led to a change in who lived where; Kurt's neutral peace-keeping path – he'd expected Rachel to 'get over it'- had badly underestimated the depth of Rachel's stubbornness. Rachel had tried to recruit band members to her side in the dispute, she and Santana were left out of the band in order to sort out their differences and then Rachel had stepped away from a sing-off (Santana enjoyed relaying that particular conversation) and then resigned her job at the diner. Quinn silently eyed the pair as she carefully considered what she had been told.
Everyone had experienced a Rachel-Barbra-Berry–Storm-Out (patent pending) over the years and as Rachel matured, she had had refined her technique accordingly (the scattering of the ripped pieces of a photo as she left the flat had been masterful; Quinn had to fight hard not to smile indulgently at the image it invoked in her mind) BUT there was something ominously different about the events at the Spotlight diner. Rachel handing in her apron to her boss as her way of indicating she was quitting was all in character; her resigned silence in doing so, along with her refusal to rise to Santana's challenge to sing Gloria - despite all the subsequent eloquent Berry baiting that Santana indulged in - wasn't.
Quinn would have known straight away that this time things were far more serious; not from the refusal to participate in a diva off (even though that was unheard of) but surely everyone knew that the quieter Rachel was the deeper the hurt went–? And yet, despite cheating boyfriends and repeated perceived rejections by her birth mother, a silent Rachel was unheard of. Quinn hadn't been present to impart all her wisdom from the years she had spent fixated about Rachel; instead Rachel's ex flatmates/band mates/friends had missed the glaringly obvious clues that something was drastically wrong.
Kurt was looking pale and worried; he leant forward, perched awkwardly on the edge of the sofa, waiting for Quinn to absolve him from all blame. His nervously bouncing knee was an indication that he already knew what the judgement should really be. Quinn considered everything carefully – Kurt had only been trying to keep the peace and persuade Santana and Rachel to resolve their differences through dialogue so why the nerves?
"So beyond Rachel's 'irrational jealousy' about Santana's Broadway role and no mutual friends wanting to take sides, nothing else has been said?" asked Quinn carefully.
"Hobbit can't cope with me achieving in 5 minutes what she's been working for her entire life," preened Santana.
"Kurt?" prompted Quinn.
"I..no,"Kurt replied awkwardly. Whatever he'd been about to say died on his lips with just one glare from Santana. Quinn allowed the silence to draw out - beyond the increase in the frequency of Kurt's jiggling knee nothing had changed. Quinn had hoped that by coming here in person she'd be told the real reason why Rachel had decided to cut her friends out of her life but either there was nothing to tell or the truth would not be painting anyone in a flattering light. The longer it took to extract the truth, the less likely it was she was that she was going to like the sorry tale.
So Quinn duly ran through all the possible options of whom Rachel might turn to. Santana's unhelpful commentary on Rachel's 'lack of friends and her uncanny ability to annoy and irritate anyone – including whoever the patron Saint of patience was - after thirty seconds in her company' proved less helpful than Kurt running through an extensive list of names of everyone he could think of (and had asked) from NYADA (including Brody – a conversation he didn't wish to repeat), the diner and (after a hesitant glance at Santana) Rachel's new would be cast. Rachel had not been seen by any of the people Kurt had approached since she'd walked out of the diner.
"Surely she's been to the rehearsals for Funny Girl – or at least explained her absence," asked Quinn, "Rachel would hardly let anything come between her and the fulfilment of a dearly held lifelong ambition,' Quinn smiled wistfully,' I think we sometimes underestimate just how crucial that role is to Rachel and how much she has sacrificed to gain it – despite all her efforts to tell us over the years."
Quinn's rather weak attempt at humour resulted only in a pale Kurt paling yet further and an already hostile Santana bristling even more.
"It's just a play," spat out Santana (Quinn fought the urge to correct her with "Musical" as an outraged Rachel always insisted), "and the rehearsals are on hold for the moment."
Something weird was going on but Quinn didn't know what it was – maybe it was just her own increasing sense of foreboding about Rachel's safety that was clouding her judgment.
"So neither of you know of any other reason why Rachel would be so upset over 'artistic differences' that she would avoid being found?" Quinn directed the question first to Kurt who immediately dropped his gaze and then to a defiant Santana who merely glowered back.
"It doesn't make sense," Quinn stood up and paced about," We're missing something; Rachel's been cast in her dream role, in her favourite city, having not only gained a place at the most prestigious college in the country for her chosen career – but won the most coveted award there as a freshman…Sorry Santana but this has to be about something more than you picking up a role somewhere however fabulous – because for Rachel, funny girl is the only role…"
Kurt's whimper and Santana's snort of derision were lost on Quinn as she tried to puzzle out what was happening.
"It can't be about Finn's death – well it shouldn't be," Quinn corrected herself," The one time we talked about it Rachel had been sad but talked about the importance of the support of friends…"
Quinn tried to recall the conversation but her desperate need to explain her absence from Finn's McKinley High memorial event to Rachel – without revealing the real reason (unable to bear the thought of seeing Rachel crying and uncertain she'd be able to resist the urge to comfort her) – meant that she hadn't listened with her usual care and attention to how Rachel said things. So those small verbal 'tells' Rachel had when being less than honest escaped the usual Fabray scrutiny – if indeed they'd been present in Rachel's eulogy to healing power of friends.
Quinn grabbed her phone and turned to face a now tearful Kurt – so maybe finally he got just how out of character this behaviour was even for Rachel. Santana was the usual mix of defiance, outrage and studied indifference. Quinn realised there were limited options about what could be going on - either Rachel was incommunicado because she had hidden her from her friends just how badly Finn's death had affected her so she'd concocted all this drama to give her the opportunity to get away from everyone and everything; or Rachel was incommunicado because she couldn't get in touch (kidnap was the worst Quinn could bring herself to consider, an accident resulting in amnesia seemed possibly the best option). Nothing else made any sense – especially with a three day timeframe.
"So who shall I call first," Quinn struggled to keep her voice level, "the police or Rachel's dads?"