AN: Finally went through and edited and changed bits and pieces of it to make it at least somewhat presentable. So enjoy, review, flame, ignore, stab your monitor with a rusty fork, w/e. But really, I just started writing stories not too long ago, so I would appreciate it if you guys gave me some quick advice :):)

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar. If I did, I would target it more towards a teenager/adult view base... but sadly, we cannot have everything in life.

Remembrance

Recently I had taken to walking through the woods and forests. Shrouded in clouds and mist, the valleys below the southern temple was a great place to clear my mind. All was quiet, except for the singing of the birds, and the slight patter of rain striking the ground.

My hand traced a stone structure, bits and pieces crumbling just from my slight touch. It was a statue of a monk, barely recognizable. There were many stone structures here, long forgotten. Over a hundred years of neglect and wet weather had corroded them greatly. They were some of the last remnants of my people.

Sighing, I kept walking, while running my hand through my long, messy sprawl of hair. I just couldn't clear my thoughts today.

Maybe because this was the anniversary of the day I had triumphed over Fire Lord Ozai. Thinking about it, it should be a cause to celebrate… I should be happy… but all I could think about was the miseries of my life. There seems to be no end of those.

I came across a set of steps… funny how these were built… in airbender territory. I could have safely jumped down the small cliff, but I chose to walk for some reason. I felt too depressed to bend, almost as if my sadness weighed me down like a blanket, preventing me from doing anything.

Mostly sheltered by the weather, intricate carvings littered the side of the sloping stone passage. I could see people airbending, and some skybison. There was a carving of some airbender children playing together.

I came across an interesting symbol, so I stopped. The stone here was charred, eroding slightly. Many subtle signs still could be found that fire-benders had struck at my home, despite all my attempts to erase them.

Carefully scrutinizing the symbol, I determined that it was a combination of the four elemental symbols. All four seemed to coexist with each other naturally, working together to achieve a unified idea. Perhaps it had to do something with the Avatar.

Maybe that was why there were scorch marks all over it.

I stood there for a while, trying to figure out the meaning of the symbol. Giving up after it yielded nothing to me, I started to walk again. When suddenly my foot crushed something, I looked down… it was a large bone, with a thick crack now running down the center.

I figured that it must have been some animal, and although that still disturbed me, it wasn't so bad I guess.

My eyes moved as I saw a trail of bones. Without thinking, I followed the trail; until I found a human skull… its empty sockets seemed to stare deeply into mine.

I immediately closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing myself not to be overcome. I didn't fear going into the Avatar state though; I had lost that ability awhile ago.

Stumbling backwards, I turned and fled.

I was helping Master Pakku build another house. Up went a wall, and then another… I almost imagined to myself that I was earthbending, although it was ice and not earth. From somewhere out of my view, he formed a flowing dome of water, and froze it, forming the ceiling.

I then watched as he went around and made all sorts of adjustments… and making it look nice. I couldn't do that yet… the way we made the pillars, and made all sorts of cool ripples and other intricate effects, was way beyond me.

It was supposed to be a guest house… if we actually got any guests to come, I thought sarcastically. I guess that's why he was lavishing so much time on it.

Once we had the additional benders come to the South Pole, our small tribe had really grown! It was probably four times the size it once was. Every bit of space was needed however, for the population had grown as well.

It would never be quite as grand as the North Pole though.

I missed our visit there. Living in an actual civilization of water benders and true water tribe culture had been amazing.

Now that I think about it, I just missed travelling in general. It had been ten years since we had beaten Ozai. After that… well… I had just went back home, with Sokka of course. I missed making campfires… sleeping outdoors and going on adventures, free to do whatever we wanted… but most of all, I missed Aang.

I never had said goodbye to him…

"Katara?" I heard Master Pakku say.

"Yes Master Pakku?" I called back. I must have been sitting there for awhile.

"I've told you a thousand times… just Pakku is fine. Just not grampy… or Gramp-Gramp," he said, making a face. I laughed, remembering all the silly names Sokka kept coming up for him.

"It's almost time for dinner. Why don't you come eat with me and Kanna? As a thank-you for all the hard work you've done today."

"Sure…" I replied sourly. Catching myself, I quickly added, "I'd love to."

I just hope Gran-Gran would be cooking tonight.

I ran for as long as I could… until I fell on to the ground, gasping, out of breath.

Funny… an airbender who was out of breath.

I flopped over on my back, staring straight up into the canopy, and let my mind wander. Small drops of water would splash on my face every once in a while, but I barely even noticed.

"Why Aang? Why did you leave?" I heard Gyatso call out to me.

I jumped as a large bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, right above me. The explosion of sound that came right after shook me from head to toe. The slow drizzle suddenly turned into a torrential downpour that pelted me mercilessly.

"You could have saved us… saved me. We needed you, Aang."

A bright white light shone down from the Heavens as he shimmered into view right in front of me.

"No… you're dead… Le… Leave me alone!" I cried out.

"We needed you." He repeated.

I sank to my knees, staring up to my old master… my old friend. He shimmered again, like he was insubstantial. The rain passed right through him, pelting right into my face.

Suddenly, the bright white light surrounding him grew in intensity. I blocked my eyes as it got brighter and brighter.

Suddenly, he was gone, as well as the light. I let my arm fall to my side, and noticed that Gyatso had been replaced by me… me from ten years ago. His eyes and tattoos glowed pure white. He stared right at me; the lack of seeable eyes could not prevent the look of disgust written clearly on his face.

He swiped the air in front of him in a smooth arc, and a jagged prong of earth shot up and struck me in the chest.

Gasping, I was thrown back; collapsing into a heap sprawled on the muddy earth. My chest exploded with pain. I had felt several of my ribs crack and splinter from the impact. Sickened, I threw up a mixture of vomit and blood.

I laid there for minutes, expecting at any time for my past self to finish me off, but nothing came. I forced my head up to look, and he wasn't there. He was gone.

Just that small effort caused my pain to increase threefold. I groaned as numbness spread through my limbs, and my vision grew hazy. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself. My ragged breathing felt like it was tearing my chest open. Vaguely, I wondered if this was how Jet felt in Ba Sing Se.

Then, I heard a small 'pop', and blessed warmth and relief flowed through my chest and veins. Overjoyed, I opened my eyes.

Katara sat next to me, with her head turned away so I couldn't see her face.

My vision blurred and I felt a tear fall down my face, as I was once again reminded that I had never said goodbye to her… to any of them.

Silently, she rotated her head towards me. An empty, flat surface was all that was there.

"AGGGHHH!" I screamed, and bolted up to a sitting position.

I was panting heavily, sweat dripping down my back. I felt my chest, no marks or anything was there. It also wasn't raining… just a slight mist.

I tried to calm myself… it was just a dream. I heard a small growl come from behind me. Jumping slightly, I turned around and saw Appa. He was looking at me, almost expectantly.

"Hey boy…" I said, while getting up to hug him. These dreams… or maybe visions… kept plaguing my mind, ever since I had returned to my home.

"You got any advice for me?" I asked him.

He tilted his head, staring at me.

"No, I've told you… I can't go back and visit them."

Lost in thought, I climbed on to Appa's back. He took off unexpectedly, without me even saying yip yip, and headed to what I presumed would be the temple.

Ten years ago exactly… I had defeated the Fire Lord, and Zuko had taken his rightful place at the throne after he and Katara took Azula down.

Even though we had won though, there was still so much to do. The next day, after Zuko's coronation, I had taken off. An endless amount of celebrations, meetings, councils, and a variety of other things awaited me. I would go somewhere, and receive two more invitations before I could say 'hello'.

After the war, Katara and Sokka stayed at the royal palace, as Zuko's honored guests. I was barely able to see them between all my duties. I saw them again maybe twice, once when I helped Zuko plan how to counteract a group of renegade Fire Nation soldiers who seized control of an Earth Nation town, and once when a celebration at Ba Sing Se was cancelled due to an uprising of the Dai Li. It didn't take me long to stop them and then permanently disband them, but the party was cancelled anyways.

The few times I did see them were brief. I should have noticed their feelings. I had been so busy during those times, that I had nearly forgotten my feelings for Katara. I should have paid more attention, and the only person I can blame is myself.

One day, I had managed to find another lull in my duties, and I had wanted to see them again. But when I got to the palace, they were long gone.

Zuko said that Katara and Sokka had headed back home, with their dad, and Toph had gone back to her parents. I had forgotten that Hakota was the leader of their tribe, and that soon he would need to go back home at some point to lead his own people. I had neglected my friends, so why wouldn't they take the opportunity to go back home when their dad did?

That was the day that I had finally lost hope.

Vaguely, I noticed that Appa had landed. I slipped off his back, and set off. This place seems so dull now that I'm the only one here. Countless times I had walked throughout the entire place, as if seeking something. There was only one place I hadn't gone yet.

Often, if I was feeling down enough (which was fairly often) I would see visions. I would see my people and the temple as it was a hundred years ago. Tears would well up in my eyes when I watched them go about their everyday business, taking no notice of my future self. My mind had even conjured up an image of Gyatso once.

I passed by a memorable area. Here was where I had shown my airbending friends the air-scooter. It was also here that they had abandoned me; after they had found out I was the Avatar.

Tearing my eyes from the flat expanse, I quickly headed up the stairs on the left. This place held nothing but bad memories for me.

I briefly wondered if I had done any good so far in my life. Yeah, I had defeated the Fire Lord and restored 'balance' to the world… but it didn't really restore balance, just a cruel mockery of it.

What had started out as a war of swords and bending had turned into a battle of words. The tensions between the Fire Nation and the rest of the world hadn't really decreased much.

One hundred years of hatred just couldn't be fixed it seemed.

I didn't have the heart to return to my friends after that day. How could I face them? After everything I had put them through… and then not even saying goodbye… If they hated me for deserting them, I deserved it.

After that day, I turned my back on the world, just as I did so many years ago… when I left my home.

Trying to find my place, I travelled around the world for over a year. Everywhere, I was greeted and congratulated. People would invite me to their homes, and bestow me with gifts and keepsakes. I didn't deserve it though.

Soon, people started avoiding me. The dull, hopeless look in my eyes scared them. I could not bring myself to laugh, or to have fun. Not even when I would come across a familiar sight during my travels with my friends.

That part of me was gone… disappeared as fast as my friends had.

Eventually, I had come back here, to my home, hiding myself from the rest of the world. I lived off the nuts and fruits that grew here and in the forests below. Only rarely had I needed to leave to buy food or other necessities.

As I continued up the many stairs and passageways, I came across the place I had first met Appa. I remembered how I had shyly given him an apple, and he tackled me to the ground, licking my face. I made a mental note to take better care of him from now on. I didn't want to lose him too.

I trudged slowly through the snow. Not too long ago, some flurries had started to swirl around, getting in my hair and face. Dark grey storm clouds hung low over the sky; it looked like there would be a large snowstorm tonight.

Gran-Gran had cooked tonight, much to my relief. Stewed sea prunes and a medley of shrimps and scallops over a bed of seaweed; it was delicious. But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it. I couldn't take my mind off of Aang.

Every time I tried to push him away, his image would pop back into my mind two times clearer than before. It was driving me nearly insane.

As a result, I didn't notice Sokka was there until after I walked into him.

"Ow… hey!" he said, whipping around. "Oh, it's you."

He and Suki had been happily married for nearly nine years. I wondered why he was out so late, it was already dark. Suki was finally expecting her first child, and I would have thought that Sokka would be acting extremely protective of her. He apparently knew why I was out so late though.

"It's him… isn't it? Aang?" He said, tentatively, putting his hand on my shoulder.

Crestfallen, I hung my head and nodded slightly. I heard him sigh, no doubt about to give me some useless advice about 'moving on'. He was the one who had gotten me to go back home. I was prepared to wait for Aang for as long as I needed to… Sokka didn't understand… he and Aang were almost best friends throughout our journeys, I can't believe that he would abandon him so easily without even…

"We should go see him…"

At first, I almost didn't believe those words had just come out of his mouth. I looked up at him too surprised to say anything.

"What... You've been like this on and off for years, it's time you did something about it."

"Sokka…" words finally coming to my mouth, "…we're at the South Pole. Even if we could just leave again and somehow get away from here… where could we find him? It's not like we… keep in touch…" I hiccupped.

"What happened to you and grampy's 'nothing can stop a master water bender' nonsense?" He replied sarcastically. "We'd find a way… and I'm sure he'd want to see you again."

I hugged him. I almost laughed, my body wanted to, but my heart said no. I wouldn't really be happy again until I was with Aang.

"There there…" he patted my back. "I'll try and talk to dad about it."

I stood outside a simple wooden door. Located at the top of one of the tallest towers, I could feel the temple shift and groan slightly underneath my feet. A storm had come up fast, and it felt like a bad one.

Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open, and entered my room.

It was the one place I had not entered yet, and it looked exactly the way I had left it over a hundred years ago. A small layer of dust, much smaller than I had expected, covered the entire room.

I could hear the storm howl outside, through the small opening in the wall. I moved over and fumbled with a small decaying piece of cloth, hooking it across the opening. It bulged, taut, but it held.

Now nearly silent, the room was also nearly completely dark. I bumped into a small Pai Sho table. Pieces rattled and fell, as I remembered that it was an old game with Gyatso, which we had never finished.

Bending over, I picked up a piece at random. Looking closely in the dim light, I managed to tell that it was a white lotus tile. I twirled it around in my fingers a few times, until suddenly angry, threw it hard across the room.

I banged my knee hard into the table again, and I growled my frustration with the pain. As I stood there, hopping on one foot, I noticed something on my bed.

Pain forgotten, I picked it up, my touch revealing a scroll. I remembered too late that it must have been the scroll I had written before leaving.

Tears dropped down my face as I unfurled it. It caught me like a charm, and I couldn't resist reading it, reading and reliving one of the greatest regrets in my life. Here, in my hands, was a crumbling, aged letter to Gyatso, describing my fear, my pain… what I was about to do next.

I laid there for hours it seemed, my tear-stained eyes rereading it again and again. At some point, I had fallen back, sitting and leaning up against the wall. The scroll slipped through my loose hands, breaking on the ground. I slouched further, wondering if any previous Avatar had suffered as I had.

It didn't seem so bad to just give in and die. I had nothing to live for anymore, anything it seemed, was better than living through this. My eyes slowly began to close.

I tossed and turned trying to get to sleep, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. Eventually, I decided it must be the howling weather outside. Putting on my clothes and my coat quickly, I decided to go outside for a bit.

The glow from the various lanterns, which were always lit at night, helped me see, but any more than five feet in front of me was blinded by the thick snow. It was already at least a foot deep. I bended the snow above me, keeping it out of my hair almost like an umbrella.

Walking aimlessly around for a while, I eventually found myself drawn to the front entrance. I leaned against one of the icy pillars, staring out into the dark abyss.

I stood there forever it seemed. Various thoughts drifted through my head, most of them concerning Aang. I wondered what he was like now… if he had changed in the past ten years. Sokka had always said that except for looking slightly older, I hadn't changed at all.

I wondered if he was alright. I still felt bad about leaving him all alone. He had always been able to handle stress well, considering all that he had been put through. But certain things that pushed him over the edge… well… I didn't want to think what would happen if we weren't there for him.

I had just turned around to head back, when I thought I heard something. I froze in place.

I heard it again, almost like a deep, rumbling sound. I tried telling myself that it was just the weather. That would certainly make sense.

But then, suddenly, a shape formed in the darkness outside. Scared, I started backing up, melting the snow around me in case I needed to defend myself, until I realized what it was. It was Appa.

"Aang…" I murmured, rushing forward. I wondered what it was that had made him come back after all these long years of separation. I hoped it wasn't bad news.

I peered way above me, but I couldn't find him. Appa wasn't wearing his saddle, so it should have been easy to spot him. I could see Momo clearly from down here.

"Aang?" I called out. Then… it hit me.

He wasn't here.

Somehow I could tell, by Appa's soft, almost pitiful moans, and by the way Momo flew down beside me, his ears tucked back behind his head looking all sad, I knew that something terrible had happened.

Incredible pain seared every fiber of my entire body. In an effort to shield myself from the pain, I had gone into a trance-like state. I used it often while meditating, but it seemed to do next to nothing for this pain.

I was beyond hungry. Slowly, I was wasting away from the lack of food over the past two days. I had given up on my thoughts of passing away; it was way too much for me I realized. I shouldn't have believed that it would be so easy, but it was too late now. I was too weak to move, let alone leave and find food. I could only wait for the end.

Another scream passed through my lips, as the pain slipped up a notch. It came in pulses, like waves. They tore through my body, with me shivering as I helplessly waited for the next one. Sweat drenched my entire body, or at least until recently. Now I felt dried up like some fruit left out in the sun for days.

My entire body kept shaking from clenching my stomach muscles for too long. But if I didn't, my body would explode in pain. It felt like searing daggers white-hot were being slowly driven into my body, charring the skin as it slipped deeper and deeper.

In my meditative state, I was unaware of my surroundings, only my body and my thoughts. I would have used the time to think about my life and my accomplishments before I died, but each pulse would distract me. I couldn't seem to be able to follow a train-of-thought for long.

Then, all of a sudden, the pain stopped. Never before have I been so relieved. I feel better than I have for a long time, all of a sudden. I almost felt hopeful again. It seems as though all of my worries and bad memories have been swept away by some unseen force. I feel calm, normal… like how any person my age should feel.

I opened my eyes, and staring back, filled with concern, was a pair of deep blue eyes.